PBH / Off Topic: do your thing / Forums (active)

 
Share

The wisest doctor ever !!!

From e-mail

Photobucket

"Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it....don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - wine in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you."

But read about the Kuna Yala and chocolate (50-70% pure, not milk chocolate):

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B8CX2-4VN...

By sloopskipper on Oct 17, 2009, 11:47 in Off Topic.


scumbuster says on Oct 17, 2009, 17:14:

I have been doing it all wrong. Time to live it up..

Tomas Jefferson “When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”

0 funny, 0 helpful.

More posts by the same author:

Aires baggage? 3

Another bar 9

Amazon Indians find plane crash survivors 1

Ecuador may return Indian helicopters after crash 0

Ecuador gets three Mirage from Venezuela 13

Internet cafe in Cali? 54

Interested in Colombia? A new ETF offers access 7

Dallas officer cites female driver for not speaking English 3

We’re now deleting reposts of previously condoned comments, in context, with no editorial comments offered. 4

The Bailout Bonanza 1

Carnaval de Barranquilla en TV 0

7,500 offshore tax evaders come clean 4

Avianca, TACA Unveil Merger Plan 0

Bill Clinton and Carlos Slim Launch $20 Million Investment Firm for Small Business in Colombia 27

Beginning salary? 19

You can't fix stupid. 8

For Desi (Eurovision 2009) 2

Chávez: Defeat in Bariloche 5

Uribe displays eloquence and composure in Bariloche 21

You just can't make this stuff up ☺ 1


All forums

Americas:

Mexico

Cuba

Colombia (travelguide)

Venezuela

Ecuador

Brazil

Bolivia

Peru

Chile

Argentina

Africa:

Kenya

Congo

Malawi

South Africa

Asia:

China

Japan

India

Nepal

Thailand

Laos

Cambodia

Vietnam

Malaysia

Indonesia

Philippines

 

Travel:

Travelguide writers

Travelicious

Travel with kids

Around the world trips

Learn travel Spanish

Other forums:

About PBH

Off topic: your thing

Travelers

If you're not a part of this travelicious experiment just yet, just sign up here. It's free & easy.

 

About PBH | How PBH works | History | PBH Projects | Community rules | Travelguides | RSS feeds

This site in other languages: (automatically translated)
Spanish | French | Catalan | Chinese | Filipino | Greek | German | Hebrew | Japanese | Korean | Polish | Portuguese | Russian

© 1998 - 2009 Peter Van Dijck, all rights reserved.