PBH / off topic: do your thing (travelguide, pictures) / post

on a lighter note..

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self righteous.

At a recent concert in Glasgow Scotland he asked the audience for total silence. Then in the quiet he started to slowly clap his hands every few seconds.

Holding the audience in complete silence he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands a child dies in Africa".

From the front of the crowd a voice with a proud Scottish accent pierced the quiet...

"Well, F--k'n stop doin it ya evil basta'd"

and.....

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton . That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again.. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't made love for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

By slguy on May 30, 2008, 05:48 in Off Topic.

CatGirl says on May 30, 2008, 07:32:

Oh geez Slygy! Baaaaaad, jajaja

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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slguy says on May 30, 2008, 07:34:

sometimes, i just can't help myself...

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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CatGirl says on May 30, 2008, 07:38:

jaja - I noticed ;)

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 1, 2008, 09:38:

couldn't resist, guy, i e'd this to a bunch of my friends.

dwmte

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slguy says on Jun 1, 2008, 18:45:

Subject: GOLF AND SEX

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.
'Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt,' the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers,
'Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?'

Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless,
the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, 'Sure,' and sinks the putt.

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, 'Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one.'
The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, 'Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?'

Shrugging, the golfer replies, 'Okay.' And he makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win.
Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says,
'Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?'

'Definitely,' the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.

As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says,
'I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am.
I'm the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life.'

'Nice to meet you,' the golfer replies, 'I'm Father O'Malley.'

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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travelingirl says on Jun 1, 2008, 19:29:

Haha, those were funny, slguy! My favorite was the first one.

In the words of my faux boyfriend (Larry Mullen, Jr)...
"You don't win 14 Grammys feeding Africans."

(That Grammy number is up to 22 now.)

Around her hair she wore a yellow ribbon...

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dwmte7 says on Jun 2, 2008, 06:05:

i like em all guy, keep em comin. jokes lighten up what might otherwise be a boring day here in daytona the dull.

dwmte

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dwmte7 says on Jun 2, 2008, 06:07:

i know several fantastic ones....unfortunately, even for a guy like myself with a rather jaded vocabulary, are too raw for public consumption.

dwmte

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