i've been wondering lately..

CatGirl says on May 9, 14:38:

Hmmm....I would love to help you in this survey - one problem. I don't come under any of those catagories.

ooops! ....Did I say that?

CatGirl says on May 9, 14:40:

I am more like in between. Exuberantly Happy to be detached and Very happy, happy, joy, joy cause I am in process re-attaching, jejee

ooops! ....Did I say that?

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:44:

attached and so far happy. :))) and my husband is not gringo!!

slguy says on May 9, 14:45:

yep...you're unique.:)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:45:

and you slguy?

slguy says on May 9, 14:46:

unique? or category? jaja

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:47:

unique please...:))

slguy says on May 9, 14:48:

i think maybe i'm the stubborn type. i want the dream. i'd rather be alone, than settle for just a companera...

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

slguy says on May 9, 14:50:

or maybe i'm just a crotchety old pirate nobody wants. ;)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:53:

but what is semi-perfection for you? don't you think as we get older we are more fussier about who we want to spend the rest of our life with?

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:55:

can i ask how old are you? ;)))

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:56:

I am why? and he is not a sheep shager thank you very much huh!

slguy says on May 9, 15:06:

i'm 53, kat - but a feisty 53! jajaja

by semi-perfection, i mean....no relationship is perfect, i'm not THAT naive. i mean by semi-perfection, hmmmm....i want to wake with a smile every day, just because she's there. entiende?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 15:08:

you are still young my dear trust me... need your CV jejejej

i know what you mean, but you are in a relationship at the moment don't you

slguy says on May 9, 15:10:

i thought so. :(

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 15:14:

oh what happened? you want pm if you want to go private. come on talk to auntie kat

esta callendo un aguacero del p** aca con trueno y todo

peteyw says on May 9, 15:43:

#3 Married to Colombiana. Extremely, ecstatically happy!

Which is a miracle as I was very happily divorced, footloose and fancy free before I met her. After my first marriage, I vowed not to remarry and didn't for over a decade, until I met an angel...

slguy says on May 9, 16:28:

i really didn't intend a vast, personal poll. just - what are your impressions in general?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Cerealkiller says on May 9, 16:53:

Slguy Id say there are 4 groups:

-The single and free: young people, or people who think they're still young enough to go around trying a bit of everything with no strings attached. These are single, happy and very proud about it. I'd also say this group is made up of all sorts of men and highly trained women. Perhaps 30%

-The hopelessly single: Older men and all sorts of women who believe in true love and long for a partner. They go out on dates, fall in love easily, get heartbroken almost every single time. But they never seem to lose faith. Maybe 20%

-The attached and not totally satisfied: all varying degrees of attachment included (serious relationship, marriage, civil partnership etc etc). They've been with the same person long enough to get used to their lives but they aren't really 100% satisfied. The people in this category represents a majority: They aren't happy where they are but can't be bothered/ are afraid of pursuing real happiness. 40%

-The attached and very happy: They're more in love with the other person than when they were dating despite of the fact that they have seen each other at their very worst. Couples in this category probably have a multi layered relationship based on trust, sexual attraction, friendship, mutual admiration and respect. 10%

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

CatGirl says on May 9, 16:54:

Keep trying...still don;t find my "Cat" egory....puuuur

ooops! ....Did I say that?

slguy says on May 9, 17:42:

this is what i was looking for, ck! thanks! 10% only, ya think?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

angelitabogota says on May 9, 17:45:

Peteyw where are you from? if you are not Colombian, you are an example of a marriage that can really work in despite of cultural differences, I would like to know more about it ;)

slguy says on May 9, 17:52:

looks like we have another PBH addict in the house! ;)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Cerealkiller says on May 9, 17:59:

Slguy, yeah I think only 10% of couples are truly happy. I would like to believe I am being pessimistic but if you look at it, 50% of all married couples end up divorcing, more than 50% of cohabiting couples end up breaking up within the first 5 years and I am sure there is a vast number of couples who are just used to it or cannot afford to break up for wide variety of reasons. However, it is not all negative, I think there are lots of interesting people out there and sometimes certain circumstances require different partners. I really do not know how to express it accurately, but people tend to break up and think "this wasn't the person for me" when in reality it was the person for them during a specific point in time, but people change and evolve in different ways, its very easy to drift apart, so people move on to other people who are better suited to the new circumstances... Of course, ideally, one should find that one life partner with whom everything is amazing, but in reality what are the odds of two people growing and changing at the same pace?

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

angelitabogota says on May 9, 18:01:

PBH is addictive! ;)

Dan says on May 9, 18:24:

Amen to that Angelita.

God Bless America!

billyb says on May 9, 21:07:

"attached and so far happy. :))) "

"and so far"? Kat, are we seeing an opening? ;))

billyb says on May 9, 21:08:

"Slguy, yeah I think only 10% of couples are truly happy"

CK, and where do you fall? In the 10%, or the 90%?

CatGirl says on May 9, 21:12:

OK - I got it! ...I want to be put under the cat -e-gory of "Eternally Happy and Not Alone" - OK to add that one?

ooops! ....Did I say that?

peteyw says on May 9, 21:19:

Angelitabogota wrote: "Peteyw where are you from? if you are not Colombian, you are an example of a marriage that can really work in despite of cultural differences, I would like to know more about it ;)"

Angelitabogata, I'm from the U.S.. Yes, there are cultural differences, but we tend to focus on the things we have in common. That works for us.

Also, we have excellent communication; so when there are cultural differences we talk about it and reach a compromise most times, either doing things the American way or the Colombian way. On the very rare occasions we don't reach a compromise, we just allow the other the freedom to do what feels most comfortable and natural.

Now that we've been together almost three years, we've melded into our own 'sub-culture' that is a mixture of the best of both worlds I think.

christobeldawg says on May 9, 21:21:

My estimates, slguy, on gringo colombianita relationships, as I have now known quite a few, so I am actually as trained an expert, in sampling, as most anyone. jaja. I am going to leave out those single, and happily so, or those single and still looking for miss or mister right, or miss or mister right now. Oh, I also have to throw out all of those that are no longer together, and their ranks are in the thousands, as this only applies to gringos currently married to Colombianitas:

attached and unhappy 20%
attached and happy 80%






attached and happy

.

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

CatGirl says on May 9, 21:25:

Dawg - I like your numbers better....;)))

ooops! ....Did I say that?

christobeldawg says on May 9, 21:28:

That is what I have first hand heard, from maybe a sampling of 20 or so, and I will, for statistical accuracy, acknowledge that those are all within the first 5 years of marriage, but hey cg, 5 good years is better than being lonely, and for me, better than the dating world

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

CatGirl says on May 9, 21:38:

True. I am crappy at dating, not wired that way I guess. Been pretty lucky (so far) when I meet someone I feel a connection with it is very mutual and it sticks ;)) or should I say we stick together, jeje Dating is scary these days - lots o' freaks and damaged goods out there unfortunately. If I was unahappy I would part as friends...why stay unhappy? correct?

ooops! ....Did I say that?

christobeldawg says on May 9, 22:49:

they should change the wedding vows from to death do you part to longstanding unhappiness do you part. In a perfect world, that would not be necessary, but we have not yet perfected it.

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

billyb says on May 9, 23:05:

dawg, you know what is funny, family is such an important part (maybe the most) of colombian culture, that i have a couple of female cousins that are separated from their husbands, but they have become such an integral part of the family that it is like they were always part of it and are included in all family activities. One (a frenchie in pereira , no, not buggy, god forbid, but a great dude) has lunch at my aunt's place every day, she loves him like a son, he has taken to paisa culture so much that you would think he was born to it. and the other takes his ex-mother-in-law on trips to Argentina every year. To their credit, their ex-wives realise that even though they can't live together, they appreciate the family bonds they have established.

christobeldawg says on May 9, 23:12:

good point, and yes, I have noticed that billybolivar. Is that why I should not actually be too surprised to see that I will be paying for some third cousin's desperately needed operation?

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

billyb says on May 9, 23:24:

jajaja, as long as it is breast enhancement surgery and you get the priviliges that go along with having payed for them, it might not be such a bad proposition.

christobeldawg says on May 9, 23:44:

jaja, ok I might could possibly give a little on that, but if it is greatgrandma, well, then, I would love to help but the US is in a recession, and I am struggling now. It's not like she wasn't going to die sometime, come on..

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

billyb says on May 9, 23:47:

jajaja.

goin_south says on May 10, 00:21:

slguy... 'unattached, but happy'... well... at least maybe for another 75 days ;-)

well.. that's only 'officially, unattached'.. por dos mas momentos.

why can't the freakin Chung King Chinese just LEAVE THE FREAKN DOLLY LLAMA and Tibet ... ALONE!

christobeldawg says on May 10, 00:22:

goin south on marriage in 2.5 months gs?

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

goin_south says on May 10, 00:23:

..jus counting down, Dawg.
And, happy!!!

why can't the freakin Chung King Chinese just LEAVE THE FREAKN DOLLY LLAMA and Tibet ... ALONE!

christobeldawg says on May 10, 00:29:

I remember something about the 90 day rule on those type visas. I was all over the place, but decided to just skip that step altogether. jaja

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

Cerealkiller says on May 10, 02:45:

BillyB I am in that 10% but then again I've been attached for only 3 years. I truly hope it doesn't change but the sad reality is that breaking up or becoming used to the relationship is more the rule than the exception.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 02:53:

billyb says on May 9, 21:07: flag

"attached and so far happy. :))) "

"and so far"? Kat, are we seeing an opening? ;))


Billy everything in Camp kat1 is going fine and i hope stay like that, but we never know what the future hold don't we.:))))

kalder says on May 10, 06:21:

Most people I know are in Category 2.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

aztec says on May 10, 08:03:

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 9, 14:44: flag

:))) and my husband is not gringo!!


What do you mean? I'll bet you that every one in Colombia would believe your husband is a gringo.

Remember perception is reality.

kat1 (Moderator) says on May 10, 11:16:

yes they do aztec :))))

goin_south says on May 10, 12:06:

... a 'perceived gringo'? jaja... pero no es gringo. jaja..
"To Tell the Truth"
recordar este programma in television americana?

why can't the freakin Chung King Chinese just LEAVE THE FREAKN DOLLY LLAMA and Tibet ... ALONE!

scotty says on May 11, 00:24:

and then there is Winehouse...no no no ,i wont go to rehab, no no no, i wont go to rehab!

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

christobeldawg says on May 11, 00:32:

I like the tone of your new attitude lately Scotty. You actually can beat this, and then join some us for a brew or 10 in Bogota.

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

dwmte7 says on May 11, 04:52:

well, guy, now that you asked...been married 7 times (all but the first are still alive and the last time i checked, so was i) so with those numbers, it must somehow inclued all the catagories you and others have mentioned above. i've certainly been resident in all.

now, after nearly 20 years--i long since decided this was the last time--i realize, at least for myself, there does not exist a 'peas in a pod' relationship. because, 'love' (if we collectively agree that love is the glue that makes for the most rewarding relationship, however, we often forget that love ain't a noun, it's a verb. it's work! and if i can say for myself, it's damn hard work. it's puttin one's ass to the plow, all day, every day. si o no.

now as for yourself, if all goes bust, or, if nothing ever comes of something, you always have the open door of sailing off into the sunset.

peace, douglas

dwmte

CatGirl says on May 11, 10:15:

Douglas - 7 times...you must be very resiliant ;)). I am not sure the demise of these marriages, but one strong indicator (sorry to say...as marriage is "supposed" to be all about love - it's also a legal contract)....I have been advised "if you would not go into business with the person you are about to marry - don;t marry them"

Seems to make sense, as many times $$ is one of the #1 reasons for divorce (next to infidelity).

ooops! ....Did I say that?

dwmte7 says on May 11, 13:24:

cat....i must confess to daliance way out of control. in all cases it was my 'horn-dog' ness linked to having money, time and decent looks, i just couldn't resist a strange tumble in the hay, every day if possible. in the early days, i had three stores in berkeley and with all those young lovelies, not unlike myself, wanting to make love, not war, getting laid was a piece of cake. too, everyone in town knew, that if you worked for douglas, you had to screw him. i even had a bed installed above my desk in a little loft, in my office. how bad i was. i really mean that. all of the wives, with the exception of my first who died--that one really screwed me emotionally for life--were/are like sisters. they're all friends and then in the 70's 80's, they conspired together and decided, 'screw douglas', let's give him the kids and let him take care of them...which they did. imagine me taking care of 5 of the 8, a single dad, running businesses in malibu, santa monica and bev. hills. whew. one huge long story of a trip.

dwmte

podborski says on May 11, 13:57:

jeje Douglas I'd love to hear that whole story over many drinks one night...7 times...that is truly impressive!

dwmte7 says on May 12, 05:24:

pod, i'd have to--at this time of my life--substitute foolish/careless for impressive. youth and it's priviledges which were afforded me allowed me to be a real dumb ass and careless in respect of my children's, their mother's and my life. however, that being water under the bridge, i deal with it as it is. but i look forward to the time i can relax with you and other friends back home and actually enjoy a day of retirement.

dwmte