inside the confessional

a young boy attending catholic school, sat silently in the confessional waiting for the superior to confess his transgressions. finally, the elder priest entered the other side of the confessional and said, 'yes, my son?"....to which the boy replied, "forgive me father, for i have sinned, may the LORD show mercy."

"joey lioni, is that you?" "yes father, it is i" how are your parents?" asked the priest. the whole family is fine, thank you, father. replied the young man.

well tell me son, what is this pain that weighs upon your heart, and prompts you to come fortrh and confess?? "i had sex with one of the girls in school, father, and she got pregnant." replied joey.

'oh my goodness" mused the old priest. "tell me son, was it one of those verscaci girls, ana maria or maria victoria?" "no father, but i can not tell, i am sworn to secrecy."

maybe it was theresa biglioni or christina corlioni?" quieried the priest, again. "no father, i cannot tell." "ha!, exclaimed the superior, i wouldn't be surprised if it was norlina busiglia." "please father, it was none of these girls; but please do not ask me names, as i have sworn a blood oath to secrecy and my lips are sealed."

"very well, my son, but you will needs atone for this grievious sin." "i am relieving you from altat duties for the next two months and i want you to recite 100 hail maries". "now go, and sin no more." "yes father, and thank you."

the young boy, shoulders and head drapped down, left the confessional and walked outside the church. when he was outside, one of his classmates ran up and asked, "what did the superior say when you told him, joey?" "well, replied joey, "he gave me two months vacation and five good leads."

By dwmte7 on May 11, 2008, 05:39 in Off Topic.

kalder says on May 11, 2008, 10:32:

Leads?

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

Desideria (Moderator) says on May 11, 2008, 10:53:

Names of girls who put out.

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

kalder says on May 11, 2008, 11:18:

I appreciate that the kid's both horny and retarded, but surely even for him it's a bit of a stretch to construe that from "100 hail maries"?

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

dwmte7 says on May 11, 2008, 11:24:

duh, what?, kalder....you lost me on that last note.

dwmte

dwmte7 says on May 11, 2008, 11:26:

have faith, my son, have faith. 100 hail MARIAS will clear up anything including your sinuses.

dwmte

kalder says on May 11, 2008, 11:41:

I still don't get it :(

Not to worry: I'm enjoying it as one of those 'growing up Italian in New York' stories. Like 'The Wanderers' or 'A Bronx Tale'.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

Desideria (Moderator) says on May 11, 2008, 11:47:

kalder, the priest told the boy five names ...of girls that he knew were putting out. The priest always gets to know everything because people tell them their sins.

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

kalder says on May 11, 2008, 11:49:

Oh!

Got it now.

Thank you Desi.

And there's me calling the kid retarded...

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

dwmte7 says on May 11, 2008, 13:14:

and a 'hail maria' is the whole rosary. soooooo, 100 of these precious beauties will set just about everything right.

dw

dwmte

goin_south says on May 11, 2008, 20:47:

because I'm not catholic (nor, ever was)... I just noticed last night on one of those latina telenovelas, that from inside the confessional... the people on the outside, appears as wearing one of those Porcelain New Orleans Mardi Gras Masks.. jajeje! funny observation, I thought.

why can't the freakin Chung King Chinese just LEAVE THE FREAKN DOLLY LLAMA and Tibet ... ALONE!

dwmte7 says on May 12, 2008, 05:20:

personally, i never liked the confessional...i do and always have preferred confession in the company of the priest in his office.

dwmte

slguy says on May 12, 2008, 09:37:

i've always been of the Richard Preyor school of confession...when his wife caught him in the act w/ another woman...

"i was NOT f*ing that woman! who you gonna believe? me, or your lyin' eyes??"

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab