PBH / Off Topic: do your thing / Forums (active)

growing up...or should i say, 'old', is a bitch. look how my children treat me

How did we ever cope as kids????

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

NOTE...this was shared with me by another 'young' timer.

By dwmte7 on Nov 6, 2009, 14:32 in Off Topic.

lpdiver says on Nov 6, 2009, 15:01:

whew,

for a minute i thought this was a totally autobiographical post douglas. excuse the all small letters writing as i am in the airport in botota and cant find the shift keys in the spanish keyboard.

ts

Remember what the monkey says, "Fuck money it's free"

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dwmte7 says on Nov 6, 2009, 15:25:

a pbh'er in exile, 'spike', sent that to me. but i must admit, that's what i get from the children. twitter, facebook, space out and all those things.....my bluetooth died in a drawer and i have more sense than the gps. and i'm definitely bi-sachsual. like i give a f*** what they use to haul my eats to the car? what ever it is i have to recycle it. and i get e mails every day that some one on i-my-me-mine has been looking for me and would like to follow me with her twit or something like that.

ask me how to milk a cow, or toast bread or dump the trash and i'm cool. all this other 'techie' stuff i just pass to the children and let them deal with it. just imagine this....i'm sitting here typing away and the telephone bell goes off inside my computer and it's my son in tokyo, or maria huskie in guarne or my wife in envigado all on skype. how's that for cool. what happened to dial O for operator. when i grew up, the phones didn't even have dials, and many of them you actually had to crank, and when you picked up the receiver or talked into the funnel on the wall, you said, "operator....give me number 23 please" and as often as not, the operator...mabel, or grace, or betty or francine, or justine, or agnes, would say, "douglas, have you talked with your mother?" "cause she's mad as hell at you for skippin school"....everyone knew everyones business.....what firewall? what identity theft? hell we left the doors open even when we went on vacation and all the keys to the tractors and trucks and the gas pump were left on the table so the neighbors could help themselves.

you young folks don't know what you've missed. you might have twitter and space book and bluetooth and i phones and gps es and all such trivia, but all that comes withj 9/11, terrorism, shit head freaks like yesterday who murder 13 and injure 38, businesses that process real living food and turn it into something that poisons you, and you've turned entimacy into AIDS, and women don't nurse their young, because they've replaced their breasts with silicone, and instead of policemen, we have swat teams and thugs who are anything but your friends and who will never come to your home for sunday 'fixins'.

no my precious young friends, it's not a better world we leave to you, it's worse and we weren't the ones to fuck it up. we just raised cows and chickens and crops to eat that were clean and wholesome and look what we have now. lunch somehow got transubstantiated into mcdonalds and dinner, worse. forgive us, all this was not what we intended but it's what you get...it's what you've got, and i really pray you can turn things around and re-create a world for yourselves and your children. and begin and end by treating each other nice.

patriarch

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Robert Jorge says on Nov 8, 2009, 01:44:

You can't nurse a baby if you had a boob job?

Eso no ayuda ni puta mierda

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David Pristupa says on Nov 11, 2009, 19:12:

Sounds like Kirk Douglas Falling Down. I know the feeling I have absolutley NO patience for all this technology. It is very domineering and user unfriendly. It dictates all your actions. Its my way or the highway. It changes every 2 months. I don't feel like investing time constantly
learning new programs only to have to retrain. A lot is missing in the social congitive reasoning of the youth of today.

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barrumundi says on Nov 12, 2009, 18:27:

Great story Douglas. I have kept up with technology quite well over the years, but all the hi-tech developments of the the last year or two has thrown me a bit. I have now made the monumental decision that I am not going to attempt to keep up any more.

Thanks for the laughs. The post is very funny.......although it is all true!

http://poorbuthappy.com/yourthing/post/uploading-photos-for-dummies/

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