PBH / Off Topic: do your thing / Forums (active)

For the Southerners Here

Sent to me by a Southern friend:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption
fit , and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up 'a mess.'
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
'yonder.'
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, . as in: 'Goin' to
town, be back directly.'
_____

Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle
of the table.
_____

A Southerner understands that when someone calls you a 'mess', it is a term
of endearment and not an insult!!_____All Southerners know exactly when 'by
and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know
to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a
right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal
is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're 'in
line,' . we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related,
even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in
the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet
milk' means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies
who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' ... and go
your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take
two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless
your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes
on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time,
all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from
the South , but I got here as fast as I could.'

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they
had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could

Even though I lived in the South for a few years I've never achieved fluency in Southernness.

By Portena on Feb 10, 2008, 13:26 in Off Topic.

scotty says on Feb 10, 2008, 13:37:

I went to the deep south only once and i felt lost in their culture, i felt more at home in Colombia. However, i did enjoy the south and its people.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

0 funny, 0 helpful.

travelingirl says on Feb 10, 2008, 14:02:

This is cute.
I mentioned yesterday the phrase, "you won't do". hehe

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slguy says on Feb 10, 2008, 14:57:

TG, as I've mentioned, all my mama's people are from your current state of residence. ;) I learned all of the above there, unless I alreaduy knew them from NC.....

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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greg says on Feb 11, 2008, 14:35:

Any self respecting southerner would never eat instant grits. I learned that from the movie My Cousin Vinney

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