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7 Kinds of Sex (Funny/Not Vulgar)

SEVEN KINDS OF SEX

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each o ther in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

By MitchAlvarez on Jun 9, 2008, 20:49 in Off Topic.

travelingirl says on Jun 9, 2008, 22:43:

Ha! That was cute.

Around her hair she wore a yellow ribbon...

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CatGirl says on Jun 9, 2008, 23:05:

jaja ' The smurf one is the funniest, but so true, ja!

Maybe the courtroom one can be considered voyeurism, jeje

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 11, 2008, 06:30:

heh, mitch...i kinda think anything past 'smurf' and 'kitchen' is vulgar....in the sense that it so reflects the real world. and the real world where sex becomes pale and boreing, is vulgar. si o no?

dwmte

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CatGirl says on Jun 11, 2008, 10:19:

Dw - agree with you...sad that 2 out of 7 are the only ones post worthy - LOL

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 11, 2008, 12:21:

hello, kitty...i wish you'ld talk to my beloved wife. been a dry spell here.

dwmte

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CatGirl says on Jun 11, 2008, 12:36:

jaja...Douglas...the trick is imagination. Not sure if I could possibly fix "her" dry spell, but maybe with some imagination and creativity, You could ;)

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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CatGirl says on Jun 11, 2008, 12:37:

BTW - i am no authority in this area, jaja. Only know what works for me.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 11, 2008, 17:21:

well, kitty, maybe if you showed me i could try it out on/with her.....just kidding.

dwmte

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CatGirl says on Jun 11, 2008, 19:27:

jeje...no your not, jeje

In order for me to make any suggestions or give tips I would have to know more about the problem to Diagnosis the and treat the issue.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 12, 2008, 20:00:

you're right, i'm not.....

no problem, mom's, mom and dad's a horndog. i don't think i can state it any more clearly.

dwmte

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CatGirl says on Jun 12, 2008, 21:07:

Well Douglas, are you telling me that she has lost interest or drive? You have a babysitter? Is this the problem too?....Oh, and please tell me mom has a toy chest. jeje

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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CatGirl says on Jun 12, 2008, 21:08:

Maybe a nice shopping trip for the two of you first to a toy shop, jeje. They used to have one in Berkeley on San Pablo ave..hhehe

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 13, 2008, 16:23:

nothing's really wrong. moms just a very religious prude and she married a wild man. age, now, takes presidence. toy chest? you gotta be kiddin...or did you mean along the lines of the rosary and scapularios? jeje we're fine dear. just a couple of old folks where the old man is by nature, horney and the lady is working her way to heaven.

dwmte

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CatGirl says on Jun 13, 2008, 17:04:

Well Douglas, I really don't know what to say at this point. Ya put up too many road blocks, jeje Kitty is stumped.

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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dwmte7 says on Jun 13, 2008, 17:11:

my sweet dear.....roadblocks? never, my life's a wide open highway. i just coordinate my actions to accomodate mom and the youngest...the only one still at home. it's not bad karma. rather, no karma, karma. i've always been livin life at the edge, i just toned it down to not drive mom nuts. now, as age takes precedence in life, i think it's just great memories that make me nostalgic. ho hum.

dwmte

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CatGirl says on Jun 13, 2008, 17:13:

;))

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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MaFe says on Jun 17, 2008, 17:33:

Ah Mitch...very funny! je je!

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

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