william_andrew_channell has left 253 comments

william_andrew_channell comments on Married foreigner registering a new born baby in Colombia

It doesn't matter if you're married or not. You're the father of the baby. Who cares who you're married to?

william_andrew_channell comments on is it gonna be hard for me to get my hands on a rental car out there.(im american)

Why not just use public transport? Millions of people do it everyday.

william_andrew_channell comments on Opening a bank account

When you get your CE, a lot of banks won't let you open an account with the temporary paper one; you'll have to wait till they give you the plastic one to open the account. And remember that you don't really get a tourist visa, but a tourist stamp in your passport with which you can't do anything.

william_andrew_channell comments on I want to visit a Colombian slum

Why stop at Ciudad Bolivar? Just go ahead and go all the way to Cazuca in Soacha. You know how you see Ciudad Bolivar kind of going up that hill? Cazuca is on the other side of that hill, and I've heard it said that after the favelas in Rio, Cazuca is the most dangerous neighborhood in this hemisphere.

william_andrew_channell comments on Could someone educate me about the whole strata thing?

Thanks!!! That's the first time I've ever been called an "intellectual heavy weight". I'm going to send this to my mom!

william_andrew_channell comments on Any bus info- from Bogota to Bucaramanga

I'm not sure but I think I remember the bus trip costing something between 30 and 40.000, but that was 2 years ago. Now it could be more. The trip takes about 7 or 8 hours.

william_andrew_channell comments on lottus club friday 11

Cll 58 # 10 - Something. It's part of the Theatron complex, edificio G.

william_andrew_channell comments on It takes 97 minutes of work to be able to buy a Big Mac in Bogota.

Forget Big Macs. Talk to me in terms I can relate to. How long does it take to earn a Corralisima?

william_andrew_channell comments on Medellin Pharmacy Woes

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is make yourself a nice hot Pax Caliente, put on your warmest pijamas, get into bed and cover yourself with all the blankets you can find, and drink that Pax Caliente nice and hot and don't get out of bed until the next morning. Or, at the first hint of a gripa, get yourself one amoxicilina and one ibuprofin 800, and take it before you go to sleep.

william_andrew_channell comments on Random Code-Switching (Spanglish)

I left off one... Code-switching is also appropriate when it's between two fully bilingual people and they stick to one language for each phrase or sentence.

william_andrew_channell comments on Quiero aconsejar para mi viajar en los cuidades en colombia

I would recommend that you learn spanish before your trip.

william_andrew_channell comments on Need help...where to marry in bogota?

Mmmm... Could you be a little more specific, please?
Sorry; let me rephrase that: Could you be specific, please?

william_andrew_channell comments on Cali - Cucuta with bus

It's perfectly safe and a great way to check out some beautiful landscapes, escpecially between Bucaramanga and Cúcuta. Why not break the trip into two? Stay a few days in Bogotá, so the trip doesn't seem so long.

william_andrew_channell comments on or i should've asked, what is this strata 1,2,3 levels?

You can't translate "estrato".

It's like asking somebody what days they have "beak and plate".

william_andrew_channell comments on or i should've asked, what is this strata 1,2,3 levels?

It's ESTRATO!!!! This has to be one of my biggest pet peeves about this site.
It's not "strata" or "strato".

It's E-S-T-R-A-T-O!!!!

william_andrew_channell comments on phone # for beauty school in soacha ?

Why? Why would you want to go anywhere near Soacha? Unless, of course, you're on your way to Melgar/Girardot.

william_andrew_channell comments on Got Milk? Maybe Better Not to in Bogota?

Great information. But what the hell does that mean? Is AFM1 bad? What does it do?

william_andrew_channell comments on What does the term "Salpicón" mean to you??

Salpicon is a lot of chopped fruit in some kind of juice. I'm not really fond of it.

william_andrew_channell comments on BABY NAMES

Thanks for all your replies, but I think a few of you kind of forgot that they should be names that are OK in English AND Spanish. No offense, but Miguel, Esteban, Santos, Joseph, Jose, Lewis, Luis, Mercedes, Maria del Mar, Juan, Camilo, Antonio, Andres, Felipe, Juan Pablo and John Paul are not exactly bilingual names.

And Lourdes? You can't be serious.

william_andrew_channell comments on where can i get good Ajiaco in Bogota?

Cazuelas de la Abuela The best in Bogota is definitely in Cazuelas de la Abuela on Cll 59 just above K 13. Rumor has it that the place is some kind of money laundering front because everything is delicious, the portions are huge and it's really cheap. Also try their Mondongo, meats and fish. But be prepared to wait a while to get a table. If the doors are open, you can bet it will be full.

william_andrew_channell comments on where can i get good Ajiaco in Bogota?

Cazuelas de la Abuela The best in Bogota is definitely in Cazuelas de la Abuela on Cll 59 just above K 13. Rumor has it that the place is some kind of money laundering front because everything is delicious, the portions are huge and it's really cheap. Also try their Mondongo, meats and fish. But be prepared to wait a while to get a table. If the doors are open, you can bet it will be full.

william_andrew_channell comments on Finding Bon Bon Bum's online?

They sell them everywhere in the US, I think they're called Blow Pops.

william_andrew_channell comments on Bellsouth?

Comcel is also taking the 312's now, too.

william_andrew_channell comments on Colombia in books and film

For movies, you can check out Mr and Mrs Smith. Their depiction of Bogota was quite accurate and is a great movie to show friends who are interested in visiting Colombia.

william_andrew_channell comments on licence question

Don't know about the car and license, but the question about the Cedula de Extranjeria sounds a little weird. There's no need to go to another country to do that. I'm not even sure if you can get a Cedula de Extranjeria in another country. The cedula is a fast and easy (how do you say "tramite" in English?), anyway; no questions asked. All you have to do is fill out an application and give them copies of your visa and passport, two photos and wait a week or two. And now, they don't charge for the Cedula.

william_andrew_channell comments on Learning Spanish

Clarification Bufalo wrote:
"Where other parts of the world peole say "sIEntate", they say "sentAte" and such, stressing the later syllable. Even though they write the accent marks where they should, they pronounce the accent eslsewhere"

You are exactly write as far as the pronunciation, but the reason goes a little deeper. In spanish there are 3 forms of direct address: tú, usted and vos. "Sentate" is simply the correct conjugation of the verb sentarse for the pronoun vos. Vos is used commonly and sometimes is preferred to tú in many parts of the world:
Argentina and most of southern cone
Guatemala
Ecuador
Cali
Medellín
Maracaibo (although, in Maracaibo the conjugations are different, following the vosotros conjugations - vos habláis, tenéis, podéis instead of hablás, tenés and podés)

william_andrew_channell comments on giving children english names

I've seen people named:Maic I've seen people named:
Maicol Nai
Cielo Yate Rayo (in spanish, but still funny)
Flavis Klinjer
Frayzury
Wasminton
Yeisson

But the one that still pisses me off the most has to be

JHON

william_andrew_channell comments on Falling DOLLAR, Strong PESO

I agree with utopiacowboy. Die Dollar Die!!!

william_andrew_channell comments on Colombian Joke Thread - please add your jokes here

***Toca leer este con acento argentino para que suene mas chistoso.

Un dia un niñito argentino que estaba en primero de primaria estaba en su colegio hablando con una amiguita. La amiga le empieza a preguntar al chico, "He hablado que todo el mundo habla de los penes y los muchachos y todo eso. Pero, me podes decir que es un pene?" El niñito no sabia bien que responder, entonces decide preguntarle a su papa. Llega y le pregunta, "Papa, papa, que es un pene?" El papa le dice, "veni te muestro." El papa se bajo los pantalones y saca el pene y le dice, "mira, esto es un pene, y es mas, es un pene perfecto." Entonces, el niñito llega al colegio y le dice a su amiguita, "ya le pregunte a mi papa y me mostro que es un pene, y sabes que yo tambien tengo uno, si queres verlo, te lo muestro." Entonces el niñito saco el pene y le dice, "mira, esto es un pene, y es mas, si fuera 3 centimetros mas corto, seria un pene perfecto."

william_andrew_channell comments on advice on telephone number

Good Lord. This post should have only had one reply. Why the hell does every person have to give the same answer over and over again. I guess there are just some people who have to give their opinion.

william_andrew_channell comments on Mens Magazine offends Colombia!!

I think the title of the post ***NOTE - What follows was written before I saw Mr. Hollywood's post with the same editing of the title. Damn, you beat me to it!***

I think the title of the post is a little misleading. We should edit it to it's true message:

Mens Magazine offends ColombianoX!!

Just relax dude. Anyway, I don't really think anybody here cares about your observations and mindless copying of any news story that has to do with Colombia. The truth is that Colombia exports A LOT of cocaine. It's like an american getting offended because somebody makes a joke about stupid shorts-wearing, american tourists or imperialism or something else that is true about the US. When Colombia stops being the number one exporter of cocaine in the world, maybe you'll have good reason to get offended. But until then...

william_andrew_channell comments on PHOTOS!!!!

What is your email address and password? This address is just a login page.

william_andrew_channell comments on Check this out

It seems like even Michael Moore has heard about these guys. Check out what he has to say about them here.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2004/08/31/michael_wideweb__430x392.jpg

william_andrew_channell comments on Time frame for response from FBI

What do you need the FBI background check for anyway?

william_andrew_channell comments on

Don't forget Merquefacil, Surtimax, Romi, Cooratiendas and all the other little supermarkets. They're my personal favorites.

william_andrew_channell comments on Colombia Work Visas

You can't get a permanant work visa.

william_andrew_channell comments on Barranquilla, Cartagena and Santa Marta pictures

The pictures were good. I especially liked the explanation:

"Carrefour is a chain of supermarkets."

Kinda like,

"McDonald's is a chain of fast-food restaurants."

You can tell this guy's from the States. "Carre...what?"

william_andrew_channell comments on Questions about Bogota

There are some self-service laundromats in Bogota, but they're not coin operated (I don't think). There is one on 140 a few blocks below 7. I have no idea how much they charge, though. As for dry-cleaners and stuff like that, just find a working class neighborhood; all the dry cleaners send their clothes to the same plants to be washed, the difference in the price is for the rent of the dry cleaner's local.

william_andrew_channell comments on For all you frequent fliers

Just one piece of advice:

CHECK OUT AIR FRANCE'S MEALS

One example:

Meal type: Dinner smoked salmon with pepper and frisee salad, fillet of halibut in white wine sauce (fillet is poached and served with a white wine sauce and vegetable mirepoix, accompanied by basil spaetzle, asparagus tips and a cherry tomato), cheese selection, dessert praline croquant
Drink: perrier, 12 year old scotch, chassagne-montrachet 1er cru 1998 maison laboure-roi, espresso

william_andrew_channell comments on Bucaramanga - Anyone been?

Bucaramanga is easily the most beautiful city in Colombia. Check out Giron for the architecture, Floridablanca for sweets, B/manga's parks, the great food, good landscapes, nice people, and the atmosphere overall is really nice. Try not to go so crazy seeing everything, just relax and go wherever people take you.

william_andrew_channell comments on colombian slang

I'm with dwmte,

Why get a tattoo? Especially one that is just some slang word that probably won't even be used in a few years. A flag or some other symbol of Colombia might be better (or less worse as far as tattoos go.) BTW, tattoos are SO unattractive on a girl. Makes them look like they just got out of prison or some gang or something.

william_andrew_channell comments on EL ODREN NO IPMOTRA

AND IN EGNILSH Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

william_andrew_channell comments on Friday jokes. I'm telling ya, i get no respect.

If you guys wanna hear some good radio humor, go to:

www.conlaspilaspuestas.com

Scroll down to the bottom and click on the clips. Especially, "Ando Mamando" and the Regional Light ripoffs. "Hago lo que sea..."

william_andrew_channell comments on Friday jokes. I'm telling ya, i get no respect.

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.
They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.

The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?"

"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered.

The wife asked, "Are you a genie?"

"Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.

The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.

The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!"

The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire."

The husband and wife agreed.

After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"

To which she responded, "Three years."

The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"

To which she replied, "31 years old"

The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"

william_andrew_channell comments on Friday jokes. I'm telling ya, i get no respect.

The following joke was scientifically proven to be the funniest joke in the world.

http://archives.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/10/03/joke.funniest/

Here it is:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

william_andrew_channell comments on Friday jokes. I'm telling ya, i get no respect.

One day this blonde was driving through the country and she passed a big open field. As she drove past the field she saw another blonde sitting in the middle of the field, in a rowboat, frantically rowing and obviously very tired. There was no water in sight. Angered by the sight, the blonde parked her car, got out and screamed to the blonde in the boat: "It's people like you who make us blondes look bad!!! If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!!!"

william_andrew_channell comments on Cedula

Can you please explain a little bit more?

william_andrew_channell comments on Exit ticket out of Quito not good enough???!!!

Sorry,
I misunderstood the situation. Thought you guys were flying in to Colombia and then crossing the border into Ecuador. In this case, yes, you do need proof.

william_andrew_channell comments on Exit ticket out of Quito not good enough???!!!

They never ask for an exit ticket. Just go ahead as planned.

william_andrew_channell comments on Busco un chiste

EL DIARIO DE UN PAISA EN LOWELL, MA

Querido Diario:

AGOSTO 12

Hoy me mude a mi nueva casa en Lowell,MA,U.S.A. !Que paz! Todo es tan bonito aqui.Que bueno haber dejado atras el calor, la humedad, las bombas, las minas quiebra patas, la guerrilla a tirofijo, la crisis economica, la narcoguerrilla, el proceso 8.000, la cara de bobo de Pastrana, el lambon de Serpa, la carecaballo de Emma, el arrodillado de Roso Jose Serrano, los carros bombas, la cara de guevon de Juan Camilo Restrepo, los secuestrados!ESTO SI ES VIDA!




OCTUBRE 14

Lowell es el lugar mas bonito que he visto en mi vida, las hojas de los arboles han pasado por todos los tonos de color entre rojo y naranja, que bueno es tener las cuatro estaciones, ese otro hijueputa pais mio que solo tiene frio y calor. Este fin de semana sali a pasear por el bosque y vi unos ciervos, son tan agiles, tan elegantes, es uno de los animales mas vistosos que jamas he visto, esto tiene que ser el paraiso, sigo con la ansiedad de que neve pronto.



NOVIEMBRE 11

Pronto comenzara la temporada de caza de ciervos, no me puedo imaginar a nadie que quiera matar a una de esas criaturas inofensivas de Dios. Ya llego el invierno, espero que neve pronto, tendre muchas anecdotas para contarle a mis nietos!ESTO SI ES VIDA!


DICIEMBRE 2

Anoche nevo. Me desperte a las 05:00 a.m. y encontre todo cubierto de una capa blanca, parecia una postal, una pelicula. Sali a quitar la nieve de los escalones y a dar pala en la entrada de la casa, fue tanta la dicha que me entregue a ella y hasta tuve que volver una pelea amistosa a las bolas de nieve con mis vecinos(yo gane), y cuando la niveladora paso tuve que volver a dar pala, que bonita la nieve, es increible paracen motitas de algodon esparcidas por todos lados, que lugar tan hermoso y acogedor. !LOWELL, ESTO SI ES VIDA!



DICIEMBRE 12

Anoche volvio a nevar, !me encanta!. La niveladora paso y me volvio a ensuciar la entrada, pero bueno...que le vamos a hacer, de todas maneras !ESTO SI ES VIDA!


DICIEMBRE 19

Anoche nevo otra vez. No pude salir a limpiar la entrada por completo porque antes de que acabara ya habia pasado la niveladora, asi que hoy no podre ir al trabajo y a rogarle al Divino Niño que nadie caiga en las hijueputas escalas porque me lo cobran como nuevo. Estoy un poco mamado de pala y pala en esa nieve. !Berraca niveladora, pero de todas maneras !QUE VIDA!




DICIEMBRE 22

Anoche volvio a caer nieve o mejor esa mierda blanca; tengo las manos vueltas un culo y llenas de callos de estar echando pala; creo que la niveladora me vigila desde la esquina y espera que yo acabe de dar pala para pasar. Me esta sacando la piedra esa hijueputa maquina.



DICIEMBRE 25

Felices Navidades blancas, pero blancas de verdad porque todo esta cubierto de esa mierda mal llamada nieve !carajo! Si cojo al hijueputa que maneja la niveladora juro que lo mato, no entiendo porque no usan mas sal en las calles para que se derrita mas rapido esos montones de mierda que ya hasta las guevas me las tiene escondidas del malparido frio.



DICIEMBRE 27

Anoche todavia caia mas y mas de esa hijueputa cosa blanca. Ya llevo tres dias encerrado porque los diez grados bajo cero me tienen desaparecidas las guevas y con la carpa levantada. Salgo nada mas cuando tengo que dar pala despues de que pasa la niveladora. No puedo salir a ningun lugar, el carro esta enterrado bajo una montaña de nieve negra. El reporte dice que caeran diez pulgadas mas de nieve !NO LO PUEDO CREER!




DICIEMBRE 28

El hijueputa reporte estaba equivocado no cayeron 10 pulgadas de nieve !!!cayeron34!!! Aunque yo vi como 80 o 100 me voy a cagar del frio como sigamos asi. La nieve no se derretira ni para el verano ahora resulta que la niveladora se daño cerca de aca y el malparido chofer vino a pedirme prestado una pala !que descaro! Le dije que ya se me habian roto 6 palas limpiando la hijueputa nieve que el me dejaba diario; asi que le rompi la puta pala en la cabeza por descarado. Se lo merecia ese cabron de mierda. A estas alturas querido diario no te puedo decir que esto es vida.


ENERO 4

Al fin hoy pude salir de casa, fui a buscar comida y en la autopista se me atraveso un ciervo delante de el carro y lo mate !carajo! El arreglo me va a costar 3 mil dolares esos animales salvajes deberian de ser envenenados, lastima que los cazadores no los acabaron en la temporada de caza pasada, la temporada de caza deberia de durar todo el año, deberia ser permanente. Bichos malparidos esos.




MARZO 15

Me resbalé en el hielo que todavia queda en esta hijueputa ciudad y me parti una pierna. !puta vida!. Anoche soñé que estaba sembrando una palma real en el ante jardin.



MAYO 3

Cuando me quitaron el yeso, llevé el carro al mecanico y me dijo que estaba todo oxidado por debajo por culpa de la malparida sal que echaron en la calle. A quien se le ocurrio semejante guevonada? Es que no hay otra puta forma de derretir un poco de hielo sin tener que cagarse en el hijueputa carro? !Malparidos!




MAYO 10
Me mudé otra vez para Colombia, !ESTO SI ES VIDA!. !Que delicia!. !Que calor!, rico el calor, la humedad, el trafico, los asesinatos, las masacres, los secuestros, los carros bombas, los asaltos, que lindo es Pastrana, como esta de repuesta Maria Emma, como tiene de lindo el bigote Serpa, tenemos el mejor policia del mundo y esta crisis economica unicamente la tenemos nosotros. La verdad cualquiera que se le ocurra vivir en ese Lowell de mierda es un loco solitario, frio y aburrido, un marica un guevon que no entiende las maravillas de un pais como el nuestro.!ESTO SI ES VIDA!