teppar has left 121 comments

teppar comments on If you could meet in person only one member of PBH, who would it be and why?

ouch... desi...i was just kidding....i didn't expect such a harsh response...especially not from you...i was just being silly...

look i don't have the huge depth and breadth of knowledge about colombia that you do so i don't jump in on too many posts. colombia came into my life because of the long story i have told before about my ex...but despite he no longer being a part of my life, i have fallen in love with colombia. so i read this site. i input when i can. and i get to know all of you.

i would love to meet many pbh'ers in person. i think we all come from such diverse experiences that it would be nothing short of an exciting circus for us all to be in the same place.

i know that i have not opened myself up to pbh all that much and most of you would have no reason to want to meet me as you don't really know too much about me. but its 3am where i am and i was just jumping in with an inane comment on this fun thread. perhaps my feeble attempt at humour was misinterpreted by you. why such a negative response from you desi?

cheers

teppar comments on If you could meet in person only one member of PBH, who would it be and why?

carter i beat you... i've been here for more than a year and no one wants to meet me... :-S oh well....i guess i'll have to start posting provocative pictures and talking about my feelings towards chiquito, then perhaps i'll get some attention ;-)

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teppar comments on Salary for Live in Maids in Miami - Ft. Lauderdale

kernow... the united arab emirates

teppar comments on Salary for Live in Maids in Miami - Ft. Lauderdale

live-in maids are quite common here.... and the going rate is approximatly between US$135-200 per month...they'll cook, clean and take care of child-minding...they're supposed to have friday's off and a vacation for one month to their country of origin with a paid airline ticket every two years....

just thought i'd throw in input on what maid service is like in other parts of the world....

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teppar comments on Importing cultural traditions

well adrimm.... well adrimm if you ever want to check out dubai, let me know and i'll be happy to show you around! its a very modern place and very tolerant (you'll see women wearing less here than in the west because it is so hot! ok its probably not culturally sensitive of them to be running around in little to nothing, but....they do it and the gov't doesn't stop them)...the middle east is not some homogenous area that the western media likes to portray as a bad place full of bad people. like colombia, the middle east is very misunderstood by the rest of the world. there is good and bad here, and you'll find exactly whichever of those you are looking for.

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teppar comments on Importing cultural traditions

lionheart..... i am guessing your cousin's husband is local bahraini (meaning he is originally from bahrain and not an expat living there?)...in that case her ability to work outside of the house or leave unguarded is a cultural practice of her husband's family, not a government mandate. i was going to move to bahrain, and have had many friends, including single females, who have lived and worked there. there are no governmental restrictions on a woman working or leaving her home 'unguarded'. as long as she has an employment visa she is allowed to work.

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teppar comments on Importing cultural traditions

one other thing... what's wrong with a sikh being allowed to wear his turban instead of traditional police headgear. the turban has religious significance and in a tolerant society like canada there should be an understanding of differing religious practices. i can understand the police requiring a turban of a certain colour to comply with uniform standards, but to require that their relgious attire not be worn by a sikh cop is unfair. the world is too small to have such a narrow view on differing religious, social or cultural practices, including ways of dress. i agree that socially destructive practices of honour killings or female circumcision, for instance, should be banned in all parts of the world, but other practices and traditions, including dress should be embraced as part of the interesting fabric of life around the world. learn from the differences, don't hate them.

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teppar comments on Importing cultural traditions

colombiche just one thing to clarify...while i agree with most of your post, i have to stick up for one point. i don't know where you got the info you did on dubai. my family has lived in dubai for more than 30 years. i, myself, a 28 year old single woman have been living, and working, in dubai on and off for 12 years. you don't need any husband or man to be your 'guardian' to work or live here. the only country in the region where something like that would apply is saudi where a single woman (unless she is a teacher or nurse) cannot live or work without a male 'guardian' (directly related male relative....ie father or husband)...

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teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

douglas... sorry i haven't answered your post yet...i'm back online and i'll answer you soon i promise! just didn't want you to think i' was ignoring you...

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teppar comments on Colombians, you can not visit Jordan!

i doubt its because you're colombian... the reason you can't go to jordan is unlikely because you are colombian, but because you have an isreali stamp in your passport. i'm gathering that is the case since you said you were studying in jerusalem. many countries in the middle east will not allow entry to those who have isreali visa stamps in their passports....

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teppar comments on Most Romantic Spot to Propose

hahaha... dw...not healing...just really tired i think so i'm numb to the situation for the moment...or i'm living vicariously through someone else's love story...hey i'm a huge romantic...no matter how much i've been hurt and how down i am i always take pleasure in stuff like this....i just had to give my input....i thought immediately of my romantic moments in that place...ok now i'm about to get maudlin again so i'll stop....anyway...thanks for the laugh dw...

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teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

hold on dw! dw....you keep criticising the middle east, saying you lived in iran, but not giving any reasons for not liking it. as someone who appreciates colombia you should be one well aware that what the media says isn't always true. same goes for the middle east. dubai where i live is not iran. and it is certainly not the iran you lived in years ago. no one is at anyone's throats! i feel safer here than i do in the US or Europe! no one is pretending anywhere is hollywood...hollywood exists in a state of celluloid, not in any real world anywhere. anyone who believes they live in a 'hollywood' is deceiving themselves no matter where they live on this planet. i don't need a clue as you call it...i am very well travelled and quite aware of the variety of places to live on offer. on the other hand you might want to consider other views on my part of the world than the stereotyped one you seem to currently hold. i'd be happy to help you understand the middle east as a very different place than the one you are portraying.

sorry if we've gone off topic again, but i have asked a couple of times now for dw to explain his displeasure with the middle east but i've gotten no answers. colombia is a country often misunderstood by the world outside. we all know that. the middle east is the same. i belong to neither world really (i'm a mutt living all over the place with no real home) but i defend the rights of the 'underdog' and hate to hear criticism of a place i live when i don't think its justified.

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teppar comments on Most Romantic Spot to Propose

from a female perspective.... i say on top of the wall in the old city at sunset....a nice walk through the city, meandering towards the wall...there is an adorable bar (cafe del mar) which is really nice to sit in and have a drink overlooking the ocean....depends on if she's a woman who likes things to be public or private....but i would say anywhere overlooking the ocean from on top of the wall in the old city...

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teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

hmm... joyzers...i don't know if i should be happy or really sad that you see me as your clone....the part about taking care of everyone else but hiding away and not letting anyone take care of you particularly hits home for me. what happened in our lives to make us this way? i still can't figure out if its good to be this way or not.

regarding the heartbreak, i know my situation is not unique by any means, but it makes me sad to know you feel or have felt the way i do. its not a fun part of this journey of life. and each moment of it i'm getting more and more tired of it. but i guess that is actually a good thing. in that i'm getting tired of being sad and upset and of letting my life be wasted with this pain over someone who doesn't value me for what i am. thats the only thing thats going to help me climb out of this valley as you call it.

you know what is so sad with breakups though...or at least mine...i miss his family. i fell in love with his family as much as him. i was so looking forward to raising our family with them in colombia. and now i know the family is on his side and i suddenly become nothing....just another girl who passed through. sure i was the fiance, sure we were getting married in november, but still in the grand scheme of their lives i'm just a blip...anyway...all i'm saying is its sad to lose the family....it makes the loss much bigger...ok ok i'm dwelling again...

as for the religious discussion that i seemed to have ignited i didn't mean to do that at all. i've not really posted to sites like this in the past so i didn't know the protocol regarding certain topics. sorry if i touched something taboo.

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teppar comments on Smart and funny women in Colombia

explain the difference please.... i hear everyone saying colombian humour is different....can you or anyone else explain it....i know i haven't been able to understand...

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teppar comments on what does this mean...?

ouch.... thanks guys for that....its not nice at all...and confirms what i thought....thanks again

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teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

james and jay...and everyone thank you gentlemen both for your words...everyone on this site is being so supportive and you guys keep bringing tears to my eyes. i appreciate so much what is being said to me and i do believe what i am being told. of course as we all well know the heart takes much longer to understand what the mind already does. i am sure it is going to take many days, many weeks, many months and perhaps longer until this feels better. i look forward to a day when i don't cry over what has happened. i look forward to the day when i find myself again and trust again in my own instincts. i look forward to the day when i believe again that there is something better out their for me and that God has a better plan for me. that perhaps the lesson He was teaching me was not the one i may have thought about following my heart to find happiness, but another lesson which i don't understand yet but which is valuable to my life. i look forward to those days as i am far from them now. and in the meantime i am trying hard not to learn the bad lessons that can be learned from this. not to learn to mistrust everyone. not to learn to mistrust myself. not to lose faith in life and God. not to fear love and letting go.

i have gained a lot through this relationship. more than i have ever before in my life. i have learned so much. i wanted him to be the dream, the soulmate, the life partner...everything that i was wanting. perhaps i made him out to be those things when he never was. who knows....i know that God brings everything into our lives for a reason. i just hope that i'm finally due some good things in this world. some happiness. i've spent too much of my life striving to find peace and happiness and facing instead repeated disappointments. often times due to my own fears. at the end of the day i have come to know myself as simply a very big heart with a lot of love to give. i know i am meant for something in this world. i hope that life finally allows me to find what that is.

goodness i have digressed far from the topic of colombia. sorry if i am breaking the rules, and thank you for allowing me to do so. thank you all again for your support and kind words.

cheers

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

ay elmo.... elmo i was just waiting for your input and as expected it made me smile! thanks for the offer...should i decide to take a swim in the guajiros pool i promise you'll be the first to know!

cheers

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

dw....cali.... dw you brought tears to my eyes with your words....you are right...i know that at the moment i feel he's taken myself away from me, but in the long run i'm sure i will end up stronger and a better person for what has passed. its just hard to get through the days to get there. especially as his last trip back to me was just at the end of april (in other words he begged me to try again, but then the next day said no again) and now he's already moved on declaring his love to his best friend's ex-girlfriend. i guess i want him to hurt as much as me and i know that isn't possible. he's a jerk and i'm better off without him...i just have to find the peace, like crazy4cali says, to hear myself. right now i can't do that, but each day gets just a little bit better. i would love for others to have my answers, but i know no one but me does. i'm just not able to hear right now what the answers are. in the meantime sharing this with all of you and having your kindness has been very comforting. i'm not always very good at letting people into my life to help me. i'm good at taking care of everyone else, but not so good at letting others take care of me. but in this forum where anonimity (i'm sure i spelled that wrong!) reigns its nice to let go and have your 'shoulders to cry on'....

cheers

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

n2 i know what you're talking about....as i've said i know i'm lucky he walked out of my life now instead of later after we got married and had a family together. its all just very sad. you invest everything you have of yourself for two years of your life and then poof! it all just disappears and you're left very confused and hurt and so many other things. i think if i had a job i was happy with or had something else to hold onto in life right now i wouldn't be as bad as i am. but unfortunately when it rains it pours in my world and i'm a little bit alone, and a little bit lost, and a whole lot hurt at the moment. eventually things will get better....but until then i'm sure many more tears will fall...

cheers

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

hollywood yes you're right....colombia may not be such a good idea at the moment....i mean for me right now i'm not sure of anything i feel and think at the moment as i'm just overwhelmed still with so many emotions. i know i have always felt an affinity for latin culture, long before i met the colombiano, but right now i'm scared to trust my feelings about that. so i don't think i'll just pick up and move to colombia or anywhere else right now. if a job opportunity arises there or anywhere else i'll consider it. dubai may be my home, but i am a bit of a wanderer so i can live anywhere and be happy as long as i have a purpose for being there and good people surrounding me.

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

douglas i'm curious as to why you think the gulf is such a toxic place? i've read your comments before about how bad it is here, but i don't understand. i suppose it is your personal experiences in this part of the world that leads you to feel that way, but still...this is home to me....my whole family is here...this is the place i've called home on and off for the last 13 years. no its not perfect, but no where in the world is...

as for hanging out in colombia its an option...but i don't know what i'd do there. i'm not too keen to just move there with no purpose and no one. he's not there so that isn't an issue (despite his complaining for the last 6 months about how much he missed home and couldn't be without his family he's decided to stay in the region for a couple of years to make money...isn't that nice...please read lots of sarcasm into those last words) and i'm sure his family would be wonderful to me if i told them i was coming, but still...its not the right moment for that i think.

as for finding someone else...you're right in the description of a true life partner. but for the moment i'm not quite ready yet. i've got to find myself again first before i try to give myself to someone else again. my heart is too tender at the moment, and as angry as i am with my colombiano there is still love there that needs to fully die before i can love another again.

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

poco no...i'm not someone who wants to suffer...and you are right i should haven't have given him another chance the first time he walked away. but we all do silly things for love sometimes...

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

adrimm i am looking at all kinds of work options at the moment. i've actually left my job so i'm not working at the moment. part of the decision to leave my job was to move where he is now (at least when things were good) and part was because in a long process of soul searching i felt like i wasn't in the right place. i had a great job as pr & marketing director of an events promoter (we put on concerts...got to meet tons of celebrities...travel a lot...it was a fantasy life in a lot of ways). but i didn't feel fulfilled...just like i never felt fullfilled as marketing manager for 5 perfume brands, or as marketing manager for an IT consultancy, or any of the other jobs i've held. never have felt like i've been in the right place. only problem is i'm not too sure where the right place is (and i don't necessarily mean physical place, but what kind of job). i lived most of my life for other people i think. first and foremost my very domineering father and that really just led me to lose my way. (don't get me wrong my dad is an amazing man...raised me on his own...but still all parents make mistakes and his was being too domineering/controlling). anyway now i sometimes feel like a teenager instead of the woman i am. like i never got to figure out the things kids do because my situation didn't allow me to. anyway...to make a long story short i am puting my feelers out to all kinds of job opportunities...ngo's, peace corps, schools, old co-workers....anything and everything. i could sit here and wait for divine inspiration, which frankly i would very much like to have, but in the meantime i'm trying to be a bit more proactive. its hard as right now i'm at the point where i struggle to get out of bed everyday, but i'm trying...at least on the good days :-)

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

kernow on again off again relationships are no fun...especially when you are the one being turned on and off...its been a very difficult ride and one i would never want anyone else to suffer. funny thing is i knew what he was like and i still walked into it. i guess i felt my love would be big enough to heal his pain and show him that love is a wonderful thing that you can count on. that i would show him that someone would love him as he was, faults and all. i mean that is what love is...anyway...he didn't see it...never really saw me i think now. decided what i was when we met and that was all he'd see. then when things weren't perfect as they were at the start he couldn't handle it. i know i'm lucky he walked out on me now instead of later with 2 kids in my life. but still its a painful experience.

teppar comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

thanks.... first of all thanks everyone...i really could use the kind words and honest support of people right now and you have all given that and i really appreciate it.

teppar comments on how would a colombian say....

thanks.... thanks everyone...this is a long ugly story and i don't know if you're interested or not....but i appreciate the help...

cheers

teppar comments on how would a colombian say....

thanks...but any other suggestions....

this is coming from a guy from bogota who has found out his best friend just stole his girlfriend....any ideas of how to simply say something like

"i know about you two and i'm waiting to see which of you is going to have enough balls to admit it"

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teppar comments on one line of translation, please

utopia.... no....i was just trying to figure out something a friend said to me and i wasn't understanding the nuances of language through the translators (as my Spanish is non-existant!). i thought that someone here could help, but i've realised through the process that it was the personal meaning this friend was writing that i needed explaining, not the actual meaning of the words...thats all

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teppar comments on one line of translation, please

forget it... i think that i'm looking for answers you guys don't have...thanks for the translation help! i'll look for the philosophical help regarding the true meaning from the writer.

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teppar comments on one line of translation, please

i still don't get it... perhaps i am slow today but i still am not understanding things....
and by the way Yep i'm a woman so there is no seduction of another woman by me thanks very much :-)

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teppar comments on one line of translation, please

but what does that mean.... that is kind of what i understood from the translators...but i'm just not really sure what that really really means....i think i'm being a bit thick today and not very poetic :)

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teppar comments on more pics from barranquilla and cartagena

glad you guys.... glad you guys understand...and thanks for the best wishes...well i have a feeling that all this soul searching and fire in me after seeing those picts has spurred some changes...i just quit my job
:-S
i told them i'll leave at the end of this season which is the june/july.

elmo...stop inspiring me with picts before i do something else a bit nuts :-)

hee hee hee

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teppar comments on There goes the neighborhood

come to the middle east... we've got mcdonalds, starbucks, burger king, tgifridays, dunkin donuts...you name it, we've got the america export...of course i have to say no tony roma's yet....so perhaps we're one step ahead of the game still ;-)

cheers

teppar comments on more pics from barranquilla and cartagena

over the edge... elmodefoque...your pictures have pushed me over the edge...i'm inspired...moved...going nuts i think...you will all think me a bit mental after this posting i'm sure...i've lived such a repressed life...living for my family, for their expectations...parents divorced as a baby, raised by my father who gave up his whole world for me so in return expects i'll live my life for him...and i bought that for most of my life...i'm 28 now...still battling the garbage poured into me by my father as a child and the world around me...i'm so sensitive...so easily influenced...sneeze on me and i might cry....then i feel in love with a colombian....so unexpected because i never considered being with a nationality other than my own (armenian) and there i was head over heels with a colombiano while we're both living in melbourne australia doing our post-grad studies...who the hell would figure that would happen....so in that isolated perfect world of australia we were perfect...i lived alive, he lived alive, no family repression, no expectation...pure heart, pure soul, pure freedom...we are the same characters...soulmates definately. laugh if you will but if you ever meet that person who you know is cut from teh same piece of cloth you are then you'll understand. it doesn't always have to be someone of the opposite sex, but with us it is...so australia was a whirlwind....but all whirlwinds blow out...

now almost two years later and we're in the shit...engaged...but not really...living in two different countries as of yesterday....anyway...this isn't about my relationship so the details aren't important....what it is about is that i've learned so much on this journey...am having my eyes opened each day to what i am and how i've been living dead in my life....

and then i see these pictures...mind you i speak no spanish (Well i can swear :-) )...i am about as white as can be (my mum is from the uk so i'm blond and light skinned)....but something calls to me in these pictures....i feel like i fell in love with my colombian because it was something meant to be....all my life i was fascinated by latin culture...the language, the music, the way the women moved (i was so jealous i wanted to be that inherently sexy), the close family ties, the smiling eyes...latin culture always screamed happiness, pleasure, joy, love, family, freedom to me....and now i see elmodefoque's pictures, and my mind goes into a spin....i start thinking so many things, wanting to get out of my life, to change to shake things up....need to get this energy out of me so i'm going to post to you guys a stream of consciouness email i just wrote to my colombian. to give you a bit of background, the relationship is currently on the rocks...enjoy my little bit of craziness.....hope it speaks to at least one of you....




Feeling a bit funny this afternoon. Restless. Can’t concentrate. I’ve been buried in work and now I’m just feeling restless. Have been taking a break from work. Trying to distract myself for a bit to get out this restlessness. Looking at websites, reading stuff, trying to settle. Went to my favourite Colombia site. Elmodefoque just came back from a trip to baranquilla and posted picts for all to see. Made me more restless. I know you’ll think I’m absolutely crazy or trying ot convince you to love me by saying this, but I really want to spend more time in Colombia or a latin country. Since I was small the culture has always fascinated me. Loved the music, was envious of the sensual women, loved the dancing, the close family ties, life that makes you smile with tons of energy. I’ve always felt a connection to that world. A world I know I hardly know anything about, but which has always made me twitch, move, come alive. Probably why I ended up learning salsa. Probably why despite my saying no to anyone other than an Armenian I opened my heart to a latin. I feel so repressed in my world. So contained. I hate it. I want to live, breathe, move, shake, use my body, use my mind, move, live, be alive. I’m just closing my eyes to write this…feeling so many different things…no matter what happens between us I will learn Spanish and link my life in some way to the latin world. I just feel that. I’m trying to close my eyes and just see images of my life…feel what makes me feel alive. See where I see myself…the pictures are still fuzzy, but sutff is moving, shaking, pushing me to figure things out….i’m not this boring creature that you’ve known. Ih ate that….i want to live, I want ot move, to breathe, to shake to rattle, to live live live live live…..enough of death and worry and fear and repression. Enough living for my family and their expectations. Enough confining myself out of stupidity, a feeling of duty or obligation. I feel like I’m on the edge of a discovery…a breakthrough…a new moment a new day and new life. Its like I’m on the edge….just about to step off….i don’t’ know where I’m jumping yet but I feel with a little more patience, a little more focus a little more love and little more time I will jump off that edge into the world beyond. I don’t want this bornign life anymore. I’m going nuts in this perfect world. I need some dirt, some adventure, some change, some variety. Use this place as a jumping off point as a way to do the things I wouldn’t necessarily be able to because of financial limitations. Jump. Fly. Push the boundaries…push myself….push the limits. I’m itchy…that’s why I’m restless…itchy to get out of the repression I’m feeling. With you gone I am only focused on me and me is feeling really really annoyed. Really just contained, bored, needing to move and shake up my life. Finally leap off the cliff I’ve spent my whole life climbing up. Its not to say I’m just going to pick up or give up on my life and my job and everything around me. That’s a good lesson I’m learning ot persevere and make the best of the situation I’m living. I’m proud of me for sticking it out and making the changes in my life I have. My biggest battle that I need to overcome is my body. Its not a symptom but a manifestation of what I’m feeling in my life….its a physical representation of the way I feel caged, unfulfilled….i’m trying to fill my body with food instead of the emptiness of my unfulfilled soul which has been screaming out to live to forget the expectations of the world around me and just find my own destiny. Its all so energizing, so crazy….

Just got interrupted by an unexpected visit by babu. Alone in the office so his surprise entrance scared the heck out of me! He says hello and hopes you are doing well.

My mind is still turning….going absolutely crazy…feeling so much energy….i know its still undirected energy, but its there…yelling asking to be heard…..as I walked babu out and was coming up the stairs again a suggestion came to my mind…I know you’re not sure of me or us or anything…but I’m still going to suggest this….what about saving for a year…working our behinds off and saving money….then going…planning a life different…an adventure…a trip around the world where we figure out what we want to do and then leap into the abyss. I can do philanthropic work along the way. You can be in touch with spiritual advisors to develop your self, your ideas, your passions. We see where the world takes us. If we find a place that calls to us as home then we stop. We build the wookie institute. We make a difference in our lives first and then in the lives of those we touch. You through leadership, spirituality, the quest for self in adults. Me with children, supporting, loving, allowing them to go free. This doesn’t have to be just a dream an infatuation a moment. This can be real.

I know it all sounds crazy. This is stream of consciousness. Something I haven’t done in a long time. Just closed my eyes and stopped my mind and let my fingers write the words of my heart. Just flowed free…free….free….free…GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD! I’ve been living so dead. So wrapped up in worries about being perfect for everyone but myself. So focused on my father first, then you when you came along. Feeling like I had to be responsible for you since you gave everything up for me, and actually causing a disaster because of that choice instead of living for me…I died to take care of you and killed you and me in the process….divino J enough enough enough enough…enough.

Life is calling…I know I’m on the edge of answering…..would love you along for the ride if you find it answers your soul too….

teppar comments on Advantages and disadvantages of dating a gringo

thanks guys. thanks utopia and mrs. gomez. its nice to have some support. my fiance and i are talking a lot, being very honest with eachother and ultimately life will tell us what is the right path for us to take. if it is meant to be it will be.

cheers

teppar comments on Colombian slang

lionheart.... i've just been able to view it....no trojans or such....???

cheers

teppar comments on Advantages and disadvantages of dating a gringo

utopia... yes it could be very easy....but it is all up to your state of mind. and i think too, please don't be offended, it is different for north americans. correct me if i'm wrong but you are from the states and there is somehow a different sense of identity there. i come from a background of suffering people. we were nearly wiped out by a genocide. we are displaced and that builds a strong sense of pride, attachment and identity with our culture. we don't live in our country, but we try to hold on to our culture. for my novio, he's only just realizing what being colombian means to him. perhaps it will mean that he needs another colombian beside him. but hopefully not. i don't think i'm making much sense at the moment. he convinced me to go see 'the grudge' last night and i haven't slept at all as a result! so i think i'm too tired to make too much sense at the moment....

cheers

teppar comments on Online shopping in Colombia...I know its been asked but I can't find the answers

i did that... mike...i tried to do a search on this site for the list but can't find them...i know i've read them before, but after ages of reading this site i've forgotten who said what when....anyway...perhaps someone else can point me to the link or repost the list

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teppar comments on Colombian slang

ok not quite what you asked... ok this isn't quite what you asked but i found this site recently and have had far too much fun with it i had to pass it on. its not quite slang, but it is amusing...

http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/index.htm

it gives you swear words in tons of languages. i have guys in my office who speak all kinds of dialects from india that i have been able to shock, not to mention tons of fun with my grandmother in turkish, and my father's secretary in russian. be careful of course, but it will give you some interesting insults and off colour words to use. they have a link to colombian spanish specifically. at the very least it should make you laugh. enjoy...

cheers

teppar comments on Fiance doesn't want to go to Colombia

jojo i was nervous about going to colombia my first time too. i'm not tall, so i blend in that way, but i am very pale and blond which makes blending into colombia a bit of a challenge. coupled with the fact that i speak only the spanish i learned from sesame street as a child it was a bit daunting. but there is something about the place that made me free. it probably has a lot to do with how well i was taken care of by my novio's family.

i would tell your boyfriend to trust you. to explain to him how important that part of yourself is and that you need to share it with him. hopefully he will understand and respect your need to share this part of yourself with him.

good luck

cheers

teppar comments on Advantages and disadvantages of dating a gringo

dwm... thanks for your insight...its hard when one party is not used to being out of their home. that is the problem with my colombiano. he has lived away from home but only under temporary conditions. i am one where the world is my home and i am comfortable anywhere. i think the stress he's feeling now is largely adjustment issues. largely b/c he hasn't been working, hasn't been independent, has been at home in our flat all day except for when he comes to my office each afternoon to check email and chat with his family. that would drive anyone a bit crazy. hopefully things will get better.

and i appreciate that you didn't find the middle east a romantic place, but dubai really is...and it is home to me...or has been for the greater part of 12 years. my colombiano is actually off to bahrain soon as he found a job there. not the ideal situation under our already stressed relationship to have us at a distance. and its at a time when i'm too busy at work to try to take too much time off. but we'll see. if its meant to be it will work.

ironically, we just got word that some of his family have already bought tickets to come to dubai for our wedding (which was supposed to be in november)...oh boy...hope they just enjoy the place as a holiday destination and don't notice that the wedding isn't happening :-) hee hee....

thanks for reading all that i'd written. it was kind of a 'vomit' of my heart...just things i've been dealing with and needed out of me. i was inspired by mrs. gomez...thanks for reading and sharing your story.

cheers

teppar comments on Advantages and disadvantages of dating a gringo

i don't think its just the dancing.... everyone is focusing on this issue of dancing, but what mrs. gomez is talking about really is the differences couples of different cultural backgrounds face. it is never easy to bring two different people together to build a life, when you add in language, culture and religious differences then the problems get even bigger. little things like not dancing the same way or not eating the same food suddenly become a really big deal. what we need to always remember is what brought us to love that person at the beginning. try to bring yourself back to what you fell in love with. and to always remember that you must accept someone as they are and never try to change them. change is something we have to want to do on our own, and no one else can make us be any different than we are unless we want to be.

i know i have been very quiet on this site for awhile. i must admit not much in the conversations have stirred me lately. i had no interest in playing with trolls or debating yet again which city is better or which women more attractive in colombia. but for the first time in awhile i'm seeing a post that moves me.

i'm at a point in my relationship with my colombiano that is not going so well. he's proposed, we are living together in the middle east (his choice to come and join me here)...we've had a lot of problems. those of you who have been on this site will remember many times when i posted things asking for translations. well basically we had a long time apart where he got scared and ran away from me, telling me he didn't love me and in that time he dated other women. anyway....thats long past now and as i followed the old adage 'if you love someone let them go and if they come back they are yours, and if they don't it was never meant to be' (ok thats not the exact words but you get it)...anyway he came back...

so as of last may we began to repair things. i spent 5 weeks in colombia with him and his family. he decided to move to dubai where i live, and within two days of arriving was down on his knee asking me to marry him having brought the rings and told his whole family. well...i love him to death and have wanted to marry him for ages, but with all the rough moments we went through we needed some time to just be before we got engaged and married. we've never lived a 'normal' relationship and it was time to do that. to just stabilize, put the bad parts of our past behind us and move forward. so thats what we've been trying to do.

but it is not easy...it can't happen overnight. and my darling is the most impatient person i know. and i am the most fearful person i know. very cautious about letting go. anyway....lets just say its been a rocky ride. but things we finally beginning to stabilize. i spent a lot of time earlier this week walking, praying, thinking and basically decided that i was tired of being afraid and that i was not going to think about the past anymore. that i was going to be free and give all that i am to this relationship.

ironically, the same night after my walk he spent a sleepless night where he decided the next day that things were over between us. i guess why mrs. gomez's post triggered this in me is one of his comments is that i'm not latin, i'm not colombian (i'm armenian...and not armenian from colombia, but armenian from near turkey....but i've grown up around the world and don't really have a home and probably have a lot of middle eastern and north american influences in my life). i can salsa...ironically he can't....well he can, but colombian style...vallenato...i'm a cuban salsa girl but i still love being held close by him and dancing. and i do it well.

at the beginning of our relationship it was me who was cautious about being involved with someone from another culture. i've always dated armenians and said i always wanted an armenian. then i figured out why i thought that way, what my culture meant to me, and what it was i was really wanting by saying i only wanted an armenian. and then i was sure that this man, despite his being from a different background, was what i wanted. and now....he's going back to his roots saying that they are more important.

anyway....there have been a lot of extenuating circumstances in our relationship. the least of which at the moment is he has still not started his new job and it is hard for him to not be working for the last four months while he's been here and being so dependent on me. he has nothing outside of me here and i know that is very difficult for an independent person like him. so with these circumstances, and the determination on my part not to let him walk away from this so easily, i've convinced him to give this a little more time. to let us settle a bit with his new job and if at the end of a few months he still feels the same then i will let him walk away from this and wish him the best in life.

i don't know why i'm telling you guys all of this. i think i just needed to get it out of my system. its hard to look at someone you love so much, someone you can see so many possibilities with, and all they can see is negative things. things that are a product of their mind and fears and not real. i know this is not going to make a lot of sense because there are so many pieces of this story to tell and its confusing. the one thing this relationship has taught me though is to follow my heart always as it is honest and true. so that is what i'm doing. following my heart and trying to show him all the possibilities of the love we have. when that stops feeling like the right thing to do then i won't do it, or if he really decides its not what he wants then as i promised him i'll let him walk away. i just hope it works out.

sorry mrs. gomez for hijacking your post. i didn't mean to. and i have come to see that when i post on this site the conversation dies, so i apologize if that happens this time to your query :-) what i wanted to say to you is just love your gringo husband as he is. if he wants to learn salsa teach him, but don't force it on him. you fell in love with him for a reason, remember that always. no one in life is perfect, including ourselves. we must love others as they are and take pleasure in the differences. something brought your lives into one together and if focus on that you will be satisfied.

anyway...that's my very romantic take on the world. after years of trying i'm finally learning to live true to my essence, to my heart, to me...and yes that is romantic. but its me :-)

cheers

teppar comments on LADIES ONLY!

i'm so sad... i live in a country where we have to go through a proxy server to access the internet and therefore things like mailorderhusbands.com is blocked...i'm so sad i can't take part in the lecherous behaviour and find myself a non-english speaking hairy neaderthal man without an education or a stitch of ambition to buy and bring home to the family. gee...and the family would have been so proud ;-)

cheers

teppar comments on single colombiana mami's and extraneros

not a guy... i'm a woman....not a guy...just thought i'd clarify since mario called me a 'he' :-)

cheers

teppar comments on single colombiana mami's and extraneros

ok...just realized i misunderstood... mitch...double standards and saying that a man will always cheat is pretty pathetic. any person who is decent, and who respects other human beings, will not cheat once they have made a committment to be with another person. this applies to both men and women. i think it is a character trait in people to either be faithful or not. its not about having a 'good' wife or a 'good' husband, its about living a life in which you treat other people with respect. if you want to stick your bits in another person's, or have another person stick their bits in yours, with or without a condom, you should have the decency to end your current relationship before falling into bed with the new person. or bending down on all fours in elmo's case.

relationships should be about a deep connection to another person. not a conscious decision to be with someone. i'm not going to talk love b/c i'm sure the men on this board will shoot me down in a moment. but i will say that instead of looking for the beautiful outer package, or a checklist of traits, start to consider first who you are and who the other person is on the inside. perhaps if there is a connection that goes beyond beauty and sex you'll find that the desire to cheat and fall into bed (or on all fours....i can't forget your preferred position elmo) is not there.

anyway...that's my random two cents.

cheers.

teppar comments on Zona cafetera

thanks miguel.... truth be told i remembered the word but just couldn't spell it :-)

cheers

teppar comments on How Many Americans In Colombia?

interesting... i wasn't sure...i just remembered something about having to enter on your colombian passport and thought i'd point it out for arguements sake.

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teppar comments on How Many Americans In Colombia?

my 2 cents.... wasn't there a post somewhere on this board sometime ago that said colombians, even if they had dual nationalities, had to enter colombia on their colombian passports. i remember seeing that somewhere. which to me would me that the 46,000 number you have are not colombian-american dual nationals...just a thought....

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teppar comments on Zona cafetera

in my opinion carlitos

the parque el cafe and parque el panacha are two great things to see in the zona cafetera. also to go to salento (if you're travelling there via road from bogota) a town with amazing views over valleys and great local arts and crafts. (i hate using the term arts and crafts b/c it sounds so belittling, but i can't remember the proper word in spanish). i highly recommend eating the trucha with patacon at the restaurant in the city centre of salento. maybe called trucha al ajillo en patacon pisao. if your back is to the hill top where the big cross is at the top its in one of the restaurants on your right. i can't remember the name, but that is the best i can do :-)

the area in general is really nice. i went on a bus trip from bogota to zona cafetera. it was a great way to see so many different towns along the way and for me, since i come from a desert, it was a great chance to fully immerse myself in a lot of green! just be prepared for all weather types. i felt like every 1/2 hour along the way i was either taking off or putting on a sweater.

enjoy!!

cheers