teddyxyz5 has left 9 comments

teddyxyz5 comments on

If You Don't Have Kids Yet --- Get Out Now For nine years I was married to a woman like this. Believe me it never gets better. Our child was born almost exactly a year after we got married, otherwise I would have divorced her before 2 years passed.

She went to a Psychiatrist for a while, but unless she wants to tell you what her diagnosis is, the Doctor has no right to tell you. She was on heavy duty meds for a while, which controlled her manner and outbursts but she quit taking them because she did not like being drugged up all the time.

Things only continued to escalate until the law got involved. Luckily at that point I got custody of our child who was also a constant victime of her ill manner and outbursts.

All I can say is get out before its too late. Being Mr. Nice Guy trying to be understanding and make it work will only end up with you wasting more of your life.

teddyxyz5 comments on Racial Attitudes of Colombian Women

Not Dredging Up the Past to Open Old Wounds It’s said that if you go back in history you can find the origin of just about any human behavior. I think this is true here also. In the past Colombianas learned that the best way to ensure the survival of their offspring and provide them the best opportunities for success was to ensure that they had lighter skin complexions. The best way to accomplish this is to get the lightest man possible, with a Caucasian man best satisfying this objective.

From everything said throughout this post it appears that this is a strategy that works in Colombia. Every place has it own culture. However, being a Black American we already passed this era in the 60s, 70s, and 80s with the “Black is Beautiful” movement to be proud of who we are and accept the beauty of each of our myriad of skin tones. It seems that Colombians have not yet reached this point. The comments about parents warning their children to stay out of the sun for fear of getting too dark, and doing so themselves for the same reason says it all.

When I first heard this I knew a Colombiana was not for me because they would transfer these thoughts of color-based inferiority to any children they had, or were in contact with. I do very much appreciate everyone that has provided input to this post because it prevented me from making one of the greatest mistakes in my life.

teddyxyz5 comments on Racial Attitudes of Colombian Women

History and the Racial Mix Paul Anthony is right to say that many populations are mixed, but classic love relationships are not the reason for this. One has to go back to colonial times and also slavery to see the origin of the mixed populations.

First, basic biology is that a man could possibly impregnate 365 (one-a-day) or more offspring arising from a good year's sexual activity. While a woman could at best produce one offspring.

During colonialism and slavery, white men were free to have sex at will with any indigenous, free Black or slave woman with no repercussions or requirement for continuing care of the offspring. Except in rare ocassions, these offspring would become members of the subservient indigenous free Black and slave populations. However, if their mixed heritage was evident they could recieve preference in less harsh duties and be given greater access to education. This same process occurred throughout the world as colonization took place.

There were extreme penalties for indigenous, free Black and slave men that consorted with White women. Also, few White women were present in the earliest stages of colonization. As a result, the great numbers of mixed populations were born from the wombs of indigenous, free Black and slave women.

The great numbers of mixed populations arose from the process above, but in most instances the women involved had limited options in the matter.

teddyxyz5 comments on Racial Attitudes of Colombian Women

Belu00 You Confirm My Initial Impressions Belu00, I appreciate your comments. You are the first Colombiana that responded and I appreciate your honesty. You clearly stated that it is not socially acceptable for a Colombiana to date a Black man. In your view this is not racist and in the most intimate of relationships personal preference is paramount.

However, getting right to the point at hand, Colombianas don't date Black men. In essence, one that would date a Black man would be one out of a hundred. These are pretty poor odds and equates to me wasting time on a futile effort. In the end its back to Colombia only being a place to go for a pay to play vacation. It also makes me think that if I did run into a willing Colombiana she might be a current or retired prostitute looking for a change of location.

Thanks to you all, the last thing a man wants to do is marry an Ex-Pro.

teddyxyz5 comments on Racial Attitudes of Colombian Women

I Was Limiting Myself to Any One Type Thank you elmodefoque for sharing your experience growing up in Colombia, and your return visits. What you said has the most weight to me because you intimately know Colombian society from the inside out. There is no speculation in your response, its all true life experience.

I did not limit myself to any skin shade of woman. Suprisingly, I found that women of darker complexion were more likely to specify that they wanted a white man with blonde hair, blue, gray or green eyes. No answer there.

teddyxyz5 comments on Racial Attitudes of Colombian Women

Think I Will Save My AirFare I think I will save my airfare unless I want to Pay to Play in Colombia.

It is sad to hear about parents giving their kids an inferiority complex. Kids so often bear the lifetime scars of their parents' misconceptions. I certainly would not want to marry a Colombiana and have her pass these ideas on to any possible offspring. This would definitely be a step backwards.

Looks like Colombia will only be an excursion for me.

teddyxyz5 comments on Racial Attitudes of Colombian Women

Advertising and Visits to Colombia Yes, I have done some advertising/marketing in my career. I also visited Bogota for work once but was so pressed for time I didn't have a chance do anything but dinners and pick up some emeralds for my wife at the time (now EX).

Normally, if something is not working my nature is to identify the cause and correct it. Possibly, I've incorrectly identified the problem, but noting else is evident.

teddyxyz5 comments on

Two Weeks is Long Enough to See Family Pow Wow, the original comment by Vic was right. I have had two foreign women, one that I married and divorced, and the second that I let go in time. Two weeks is long enough to visit family and friends, beyond that a person is restablishing the life they lived before which included seeing and ultimately screwing their old boyfriends. My EX did this, she itially was to be away for a month, then calls to extend another week, then one more week. Returns home acting strangely and later cofesses that she thought she was pregnant by her ex-boyfriend that she was seeing there. With all the AIDS and everything else out there you have to look out for Nummero Uno.

If your wife is gone for six weeks she obviously has no job, which was the case with my EX. She was home all day chatting with "friends" from her home country, setting up her trip. She already knows what she's going to do.

Trust is necessary in a relationship, as is being rational. No adult needs or wants to go sit around in another person's house for six weeks, even if its family. Imagine yourself visiting your parents or siblings for that long, you'd go nuts.

teddyxyz5 comments on Living in the US

Volunteer You seem to have excellent English abilities, volunteering could be an outlet for you. You could make local friends and do some real good. Assisting a local junior high or high school in Spanish classes, teaching English as a second language. There are loads of possibilities