SweetNess has left 66 comments

SweetNess comments on

hmmmmm Though a flat stomach may indicate that a woman works out, it does not necessarily mean that she is healthy. Some flat tummied woman eat like shit and some soft bellied woman are quite healthy and in shape. It all depends on your genetics. When fat distributed, it tends to go to one area first and then the rest of the body. In some woman, the fat will go to their mid sections first so that they would have to starve themselves to have a flat belly, but with a healthy exercise and diet regime, will always have a soft belly. I've known men who say that they don't like six packs or flat abs and prefer a little softness in the belly. Personally, I think muscular men are great, but I'm very attracted to a man who doesn't have 5% body fat, but is still in shape and has good structure.

SweetNess comments on SHAKIRA nominated again...

Fijicion Oral I do agree with Bx that this latest album of hers is lacking somewhat. I bought it waiting to hear all kinds of crazy ish, and one of the things that dissapointed me is how some of the songs were just a different version of a song earlier in the CD. It's nice to hear different versions of a song, but I don't think that it should take up a 3rd of an album either. I dunno if she rushed this latest album or what. I love some of the songs, but I agree that it's not as good as the others.

SweetNess comments on what sports in Colombia?

Volleyball I played volleyball all through highschool and it seemed like all the hispanic chicas always played better and were more natural at it. It seemed to me like volleyball was pretty popular outside the U.S. The only thing I don't like is when I go to the park and see all the hispanic men playing, because when you know how to play "regulation" volleyball, you can't stand to see someone PUSH a volleyball past the net and call it a SPIKE or CARRY a ball in a set up for a spike and call it a "SET" That, plus the fact that any time I played with any kind of guys, they could be the most horrible players, but would not give me the ball thinking I wouldn't make the point. I hate that ish... but when it was my turn to serve or I finally got a chance to spike... they new the real deal...

SweetNess comments on How do you call your honey?

jajajja Cowboy is right! I feel SO WEIRD calling my man by his name. The only time we ever use each other's names is if there are a bunch of other people in the room. I guess so that there is no misunderstanding 'cause anyone can hear someone call "baby" and think it's for them. Other than that, I think I stopped calling him by his name a few months into the relationship. Sometimes I actually get annoyed if he uses my name in front of other people when he's addressing me 'cause I know it's fake and I don't like that, but it's usually if he's not completely comfortable in the environment he's in so I can forgive him.

SweetNess comments on How do you call your honey?

Papi/Mami I agree with you Desi. I could never say Papi withouth feeling a little weird about it. Especially since I had such a bad relationship with my father and couldn't even call Him Papi. Whatever. I don't mind if my honey calls me Ma or mama though. Like "sexy mama"... Anyways, I like the classics like Miamor and such.

SweetNess comments on SHAKIRA nominated again...

Her way of singing is one of the things that makes her so unique. She doesn't sing like everyone else and her songs touch on many topics. Granted, not just any one person should be posted as the "face of Colombia"... that doesn't make sense for a country so diverse. I definitley don't mind her being such a strong representative though. She is gorgeous in more ways than physical, she's intelligent, thoughtful, philosophical, sexy, graceful and many other things. She's not just lip-syncing to pre-fabricated pop tunes that all say the same thing. (Did I mention she sexy as hell???) Anyways, she may not be no Juanes or Carlos Vives, but why should she be to earn respect. They can't be her either and that's a good thing.

SweetNess comments on

psssssss... Well who doesn't enjoy a good pissing match?! I drink water all day... I'm all set. Anyways, that's a good point BAQ about tone of voice. I think you thought the same thing when I responded to your "Schitt" post. Okay, so maybe it WAS a LITTLE on the hostile side, but it was mostly my way of just "shootin' the Schitt" with you. ANYWAYS, if anything, trying to make sure we are well understood is what makes posts fun because you are forced to refine your writing and really think about how you say things. I've been out of college for about two years now and I find sites like this refreshing because reading (mostly) well written posts and responding with them helps me keep up on my good grammer and speech. Blah blah blah, blah blah... blah blah.

SweetNess comments on Colombian radio

Thanks Kernow. I'mma try this at home and if I can get it maybe I can have it playing for my mom. I know she'll love it.

SweetNess comments on

Very well put.... I agree with your basic outline of what this place is, what makes it good, and what can make it bad. We're all human... "Schitt" happens in all forms (let BAQ explain that to you... :) ) and regardless, we should all be mature enough to deal with it and keep this site moving.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

yeah... I know what you mean. A friend of mine once grabbed another big guy in the headlock of hell because the guy bumped into his six year old daughter and just kept walking like he didn't care. He definitley cared once my friend was done with him. My friend said he doesn't know what came over him, it was just instantaneous.
That makes me wonder, what's up with crimes against children in Colombia? I'm not talking about physical discipline and all... I'm talking about murders and sexual assualt and robbery and stuff like that....

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Bullets I know this is off topic, but apparently this forum is about petered out anyway. A comedian once said that if bullets were $5,000 dollars a piece, no one would ever die of a stray bullet wound 'cause people would make sure the bullet ended up exactly where it's supposed to.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Good That sounds like a good course. We also deal a lot with the law of course so I'm sure they'll have good info on that as well. I know I helped a woman speak to a police officer about an R/O before and he was so detailed in explaining to her that even I learned some things I didn't know. G'night now.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

cam no no... I'd be getting up in the middle of the night to go to the station to give our child the lunch he/she forgot for his/her midnight shift on patrol. hee hee hee
Seriously, thank you for your comments. I don't pretend that non-violent methods are perfect, and as we have both stated, physical discipline is different from physical abuse. I really think the issue is in refining a strategy and applying it effeciently and consistently and not giving ourselves the easy way out by disqualifying things as soon as they get difficult.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

BAQ Well, I can understand that then, though I hope by now you do realize that it was simply something I wanted to discuss as I stated before. It's one thing to get info in a training course, but I want to see what the views are from people themselves and I wanted to hear explanations from people in these situations in their own words, which is what has happened so far. That, to me, is just as important in helping to put yourself in other people's shoes and think outside the box. In any case, I certainly will look into the info you gave me.
So I'm assuming you're in Law Enforcement. How helpful was this course to you? How much of what you learned there do you actually apply in your field?

SweetNess comments on You don't know Jack Schitt ?

hmmm I think elmodefoque would be the perfect person to give that translation a try... he's good at that stuff.

SweetNess comments on You don't know Jack Schitt ?

HEY!?! I thought that comment made it obvious that I WAS... oh well... I was just going with the flow k?

SweetNess comments on You don't know Jack Schitt ?

well.... You certainly are full'a Schitt aren't you?

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Colombia In the spirit of keeping this forum on topic (Domestic Violence in reference to Colombians and Hispanics in genera), what in Colombian culture enforces the use of Domestic Violence? Is there any movement in Colombia right now that is promoting alternatives and voicing out against physical discipline?
Somewhere along the line, here in Amercia, it was pointed out to me that Colombians are some of the strictists parents and if a kid knew you were Colombian, they assumed you couldn't do much or else you'd "get it" at home. I know my mom was stricts, but as I see it, it was more a product of the bad neighborhoods we lived in and our poverty than a cultural thing. We've had many conversations about it. Even then, though I can see the reasons for her being strict, I still feel that she went overboard in some areas, to my detriment. She didn't ruin my life of course, but still, some of her well intentioned strategies still had more of a negative affect, which of course I know she did not forsee. She used to hit us when we were little. Never beat us, but it was physical discipline. She says at that time it was more out of frustration and lack of a different way than anything else. I can count on one hand the number of times she hit me from the age of 7 (when we left my father) to now that I'm an adult. She knew what it felt like to be hit for "not complying" and didnt' want us to feel that way, nor did she want us to learn that THAT was the way to fix things and have order. Our lives weren't perfect, but you know what? I"m extremely greatful that she made that decision. When I was in my teens, I obeyed her out of fear of her wrath (not of getting hit, but I just didn't want my mom angry at me because I loved her) and mostly because I respected her enough to try and think about why she set certain rules even if I hated then and argued about them. A lot of things I could have done anyway, but I loved my mother and respected her enough to not do relatively trivial things that would upset her. My respect for seeing a woman who barely knew English raise theree children by herself in America and work and work and work no matter how crappy she felt and always tell me not to give up (and see her live that way) out weighed anything she could have every accomplished by making me fear her. I would like to think that her resilience and beautiful management of the Spanish language and expert cooking and what she taught me about being polite and graceful and creative had as much to do with her Colombian up-bringing anything else. To tell you the truth, my mom grew up getting the S*** beat out of her by adults. I'm talking about fractured bones her. This is exactly why she did not do the same to us.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

ws244 Equal to grown ups? Who said that? I said children have rights just like grown ups, not equal to them. You wouldn't agree that a child should have a right to be treated reasonably and have some degree of freedom in their life and some control over it? Even then, some of those rights are equal. In any case, the point of saying children have rights too is not to say they can be treated just like adults. This is the type of black and white thinking I am talking about that leads to nowhere. Then if I say they don't have rights like parents, is that supposed to mean that they have no rights at all? Really?
No, what I am saying is that they do have rights, although there must always be age-appropriate limits and the like. Like I stated before, let's say you teach a child to clean their room at some point. You like to start cleaning your room in steps 1,2,3 while they seem to prefer to do it in steps 2,1,3. In the end, their room is as clean as it should be. Should you force them to do it your way just because that's the way you do it? Or can you accept and appreciate that they can create their own methods and let them clean their room how they so fit so long as the end result is what it should be?
"So i can do what i want in your home with no fear of reprisals." For someone who doesn't know me, it's surprising that you would make such a comment and expect it to hold up. I can see plenty of statements in my posts that say otherwise. You imply that by saying children have rights just like adults, that an adult can do whatever they want in my home? How does that make sense? There are rules EVERYWHERE for adults simply because adults choose whether or not to listen and many times will go against the rules for their own selfish needs. No, I think your post if full of extreme comments with no solid foundation on which to base them. You took a sentence, skewed its meaning, and ran with it.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

BAQ Did it ever occur to you that I just wanted to hear what people had to say about it? That is the point of a Forum eh?, to discuss whatever topic is posted. Whatever, I'm not gonna waste my time trying to justify myself to you.

SweetNess comments on Baby names: What is a popular name for a baby girl or boy

Catalina Katalina is my nieces name. I call her CuteyKat. I also love names that flow like those Maria Flora, or Juan David. Middle names are great. Research the root meaning of names. For example Vanessa means "bright light" in Hebrew. You can make your own name using root meanings just like people have come up with Crystal and Luz and all that stuff.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

uh oh wow, that post is a freakin' essay. My bad guys, it won't happen again. Hope you can read through it before your screen blanks out from getting overheated!

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

what works and what doesn't When it comes to what works and what doesn't, one has to be careful not to overgeneralize. I mean, when people say that kids are much worse today because of less spanking and stuff... how could you know that? Do you know how every bad kid you've ever known or come across was raised? (do not say that many or most that you know of because this still is not all and you still don't really know unless you were there for it personally)I hear people say that all non-physical ways of discipline don't work because American kids for example respect less and disrespect more. Just because something doesn't work doesn't mean that the strategy is wrong. What about how the strategy was applied, for how long, and to what type of situation with the kid? It's just not good to make such black and white decisions about things. For example, we mostly all see that the sky is blue, but a color blind individual will see it in another color like green lets say. So what do you say to this person when he/she tells you that you are wrong because they see no blue in the sky? There are also outside variables to these situations with raising kids. You try to teach them good behavior, but they still act out in some ways. It may have nothing at all to do with your strategy. They may be getting bullied in school or have some type of disorder that is as of yet undiscovered or something like that. It's not always so clear and it is up to us to think of everything and not just the simplest explanation and strategy. Like I've said before, one of the hardest things about non-physical discipline is that it takes much more work and patience and discipline on behalf of the PARENT. I've seen too many people try alternative methods to hitting only to quit a few days in (any care taker will tell you that it will get worse before it gets better because kids will keep testing limits to get the results they got before)because it gets too hard. Then the kids get worse and stay worse because they once again have found the limit of the parent. They blame the strategy, but it is not the root of the problem. As far as smacking your baby on the hand Cam, as I've said before, I also believe there is a big difference between physical discipline and physical abuse. I personally would have removed her hand instead of smacking it (along with the mommy means business look), but a tiny smack isn't such a bad thing either, as long as it is not the only method (I see you tried others) and as long as it is used only when absolutely necessary. ( I mean, a woman might smack her boyfriend on the hand if he reaches for her cooking before dinner is ready... we have to not take some things SO seriously right) You said that baby girl went right back to the nightstand after you comforted her from crying. Though I understand your pain in seeing her cry from the harsh look, I feel that was a mistake because it took away the punishment for the bad behavior. You just taught your daughter that if she cries, she can get you to take back what you just did... I'm not saying be heartless, but you gotta let them stew in their own problem for a little while so that they understand that they have to live with what they did. We do this with my daughter all the time. If she gets punished and cries, we leave her to that punishment for a while before we get to the part where we talk to her and comfort her a little. Sometimes she may still repeat the bad behavior in the future, but this is not because we failed, nor did she, it is because she is a small unpracticed human and she will be repeating bad behaviors/decisions until she is 900 years old as this is human nature. Parents seem to expect children to learn something and do it right forever as if adults are this way, which of course they're not. You also need to remember to be specific with children. Telling them to behave tells them nothing. You have to tell them exactly what to do or not to do. For example, I don't just tell my daughter to clean her room, I follow it with "shoes lined up on the wall, clothes in the drawers, all garbage in the can, bed made etc...). She told me this morning "I know I Know", but when I checked, I still found a few errors. She put most of her clothes in the drawers, but left out clothes she wasn't sure of. I made sure she figured out whatever questions she had about the clothes and did the appropriate thing. Then I noticed the clothes mushed (not folded) with socks un-paired in the drawers. I told her that next weekend (step-daughter, every other weekend) we were going to take out ALL the clothes, and learn to fold and organize it. She asked me if she was in trouble and this was her punishment. I said no, you've made great progress in learning to clean your room (she really has) but I don't expect you to be perfect or know EVERYTHING all on your own. What you are getting is a lesson. (all correction of behavior does not need to be negative!) If you mush your clothes AFTER this lesson then you WILL be in trouble. When she was 7 and I first started getting her to clean her room, she'd go up, do basically nothing, and tell me it was clean. Now she's almost 8, I've never hit her, yelled, or made her cry or fearful of my wrath (I'm calmest with kids for some reason) and I was so proud today with how clean her room was (despite the few imperfections) as compared to what is was almost a year ago. I'm not perfect step-parent or child care taker, I definitley have days I lost my temper a little, get louder than I would like, am inconsistent, etc... but that should never make you give up and does not make you a bad parent. Most importantly, do not look at all of a child's successes as yours and failures as your own. Some things with children are and always will be out of your control. Please remember how important the right to make your own decisions and have your own preferences is, even with children. Be willing to compromise so that if they try to do something their own way, even if it's not exactly how you were taught to do it, you may want to accept their own different way if the result is still a good one. You are not perfect, you do not know it all, and you make mistakes too. Children notice this and deserve explanations, compromise, validation etc... blah blah blah blah blah, I know I type way long posts so forgive me for that. At the very least I try to make at least %90 of it worth the time it takes to type and read it. Muah's to you all, you've made me so happy that I found this site!

-Ness

SweetNess comments on "Americanized vs. Not"

Crazy That is a very good point. Basically, just because someone doesn't fit in with your desires does not make them undesirable. It just means they don't fit with you. I've known men in my life who I cared for very much but would never get involved with because there were some things I knew I couldn't accept in a relationship. I've also known wonderful men who I would love to have married, but never got involved with because no amount of trying could make me attracted to them in that way. I mean this as well for my original post of my friend fresh from DR. Really, he's been in the U.S. for years now and though he maybe dresses differently and things like that, his mindset is still the same. I don't mean to say there is something wrong with him. He's a great guy. It is just simply that our differeces made the friendship difficult and a relationship impossible, though in the end I hold nothing against him.

SweetNess comments on "Americanized vs. Not"

Adrimm Thank you Adrimm. I resent the implication that I am manly just because I mentioned this guy not thinking I'm feminine enough. Someone mentioned long hair and all that stuff. I have long beautiful hair that my boyfriend is in love with and plenty of dresses and sexy outfits and such. I also can get down and dirty with anything a man can. On the one hand, I work with women in DV situations, on the other, I also work with men in a brewery. Believe me, none of them think of me as manly, but they all respect that I can do any job they do as well as them and they don't have to worry when we have a job to do together. Men are men and woman are woman, that's a find statement. However, with all men and woman or both feminine and masculine energies where either can be dominant both in a man or a woman. Also, feminine in a man does not = gay nor does masculine in a woman = manly. This misunderstanding is what leads to so many conflicts and stereotypes and needless hating between people.

SweetNess comments on "Americanized vs. Not"

Rubiazo Thank you for coming back to the original topic. Your comment is very interesting and intruiging.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Everyone Thank you all for your many comments. You are helping me a lot with your varied perspectives coupled with information about your own personal experiences. As far as what passes for domestic violence, it goes beyone male/female intimate partners. It includes for example, a 19 year old female abused by her stepfather or a 35 year old woman abused by her brother whom she was living with. It can even be abuse from one roomate to another, with no family connection.
Desi, as a fellow child care taker, I would love it if you could PM me with any tips/advice you've learned over the years with children. AS you said, even someone with very little experience could grow to be quite effective with children with time. This is my case as I've been doing this for six months. Though I do well, I always feel like there is more I could be applying.
Other than the laws and what's fair and what's not. Why don't we discuss more of why people use violent tactics (physical or not) and why others do not use these tactics. Here's a question, have any of you every tended to be overly aggressive or even violent and learn to be different over time? Do you think a man who is physically abusive to his wife for years can learn the error of his ways, learn better ways and actually change and be in a much healthier relationship with that same wife?

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

cam "With the level of parental involvement that you described, I would expect you to be very effective in dealing with the kids. I just don't agree that you would be as effective without the parents' contributions."
This is both true and false depending on the family. I have cared for children with great parents and others whose parents are extremely neglectful. It is so much easier with well brought up children to teach them even more and advance them. With those who have no discipline at home however, I have been successful as well. Even small achievements such as washing hands before eating and sharing are a big deal in toddlers and I have seen them bring these behaviors home and the parents thank me and comment on the positive changes they see in their children. It depends on the children too. A lot of the discussion on children focuses on the result of a childs behavior from a parents parenting. We have to remember that children are individuals with their own personalities which can be easy to work with and not. Every aspect of a child, good or bad, is not necessarily because the parent did something good or bad. Sometimes it's just who they are and how they're gonna be.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

cam Just because you have to reason with a child over and over again does not mean that it is pointless. As you said, it is not their fault, not just for psychological reasons, but for biological ones as well. But you, as the adult, are expected to make up for what they lack, not just ignore it. When you say you bribe them, that shows you their potential because just like MANY adults, it is easier for them to learn things when they get what they want, the way they want it, and the gratification is quick. I know many adults that you have to explain things to many times at well and I can't think of spanking a grown person, you have to find another way.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Desi I totally agree with you desi that the best way to teach a child is by example. Though there is a difference between physical punishment and abuse, even spanking is not very effective as far as actually teaching the child to behave (as opposed to scaring them into it), especially when it is not at least followed by verbal explanations that also attempt to correct the bad behavior and teach the good behavior. I am also a child caretake at the same DV agency at which I work and the worst thing I see parents do is either spank the child every time the parent loses his/her temper or try to correct the child non-physically, only to give in when the child has a tantrum. Hitting a child may scare them into stopping what they're doing, but it does not teach them to reason and it does teach them to hit others when they don't do what is wanted of them. It's an easy way out. YES IT IS much more difficult to discipline a child without hitting... it takes much patience and consistency and trial and error, but I would think it's worth it eh? And as you say Desi, it IS possible to reason with a 7 year old child, but you have to do it at their level and not your own. I see too much of adults scoffing at having to level with their children simply because they believe that they should not have to make the efforts for a mere child. I have had plenty of success with non-violent tactics, more so than the mother's of these children, and have seen these children flourish because of it. Not because they're scared of putting their toys away for example, but because I don't let them move on from an activity until they finish the last, because I make it a habit (which does not happen in one day, but over many days), and because I praise them for their successesful behavior (which is not the same as just not getting hit because you didn't do it wrong).

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Rubiazo Interesting for you to say that four of your ex-wife with machetes couldn't touch you, but you could crunch these female officers before they could even blink. The way you speak, I dunno if you study the martial arts or are just cocky, but in any case, you should know that size is not much of a matter other than how you use it. I'm a small woman myself, but my 6 foot 220 pount athletic boyfriend will tell you that he fears the man who ever tries to force himself on my 5'4" 125 lb body, and beleive me, it's not due to his own lack of skill as he has taken on groups of gorilla sized thugs many times in his life and been the only one to leave on his own two feet.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

GringoDeLouisia "when the other person is a violent one"
you misunderstood what I was saying, or at least it's partly my fault maybe if I was unclear. In saying that violence is unecessary, I was saying that for everybody. I was not saying that violence is unecessary in terms of that's how you calm a situation between yourself and an abuser. I'm saying that those who use violence and other initmidation tactics need to understand that it is unecessary and unproductive and that other ways are better.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

One of the main issues at the core of Domestic Violence, be it physical, emotional, sexual etc... is the need to use intimidation and abuse of one's own power to force a situation to go the way one want's it to go. Whether it is coming from the man, woman, husband, wife, mother, father, sister, brother, etc... the point is that one feels a lack of control over a situation in their life and resorts to this intimidation and abuse of power for lack of a better strategy, such as compromise, acceptance, etc... Many abusers (of any type and gender) simply do not know how else to deal, either for lack of information or because of the examples they had in their lives of how to deal with tough situations. For example, as has been exemplified before, the glorification of an empowered woman smacking an offending man in the face vs. the hostility towards that man who would smack a woman for the same reason. Many people either feel the right to hit another because they are smaller and so it's not as serious, or because they are bigger and entitled to get what they want. In any case, it is largely unecessary to use this type of behavior to get a point across and other tactics such as better communication, compromise, empathy and understanding are much more powerful than the fist.

SweetNess comments on Born in the U.S.A.

Tinto I agree with you about identifying your "ish"ness depending on what generation you are. It's easy for me to identify with my Colombian ethnicity as a first generation chica who was raised in the Colombian way. I worry about how much of this I will pass on to my own children as my partner is Native Amercian (Lakota tribe) and while I know spanish and spanish food and music, it's nothing like the extent to which my mother knows it and lives it from growing up in Colombia. I'm trying now to improve my spanish even more so that I speak only spanish to my kids as they grow up and to educate myself about the culture. I have so much pride in my Colombian ethnicity and I can't imagine everything I would miss out on if it hadn't been a part of me. I don't want the next generation of my family to miss out on that.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

me... How I DO feel in my own situation watching my beautiful mom suffer and us as well... well that we'll have to say for later today when I come back to work. How I would feel in your situation would probably be much the same as you. Chat with you all later...

SweetNess comments on Do you carry a weapon when you travel? Would you like to?

well... My connection is that my parents are both Colombian and my pop dragged my mum over here 'cause he felt like it and they landed in Queens, NY. When we all left him we ended up in Jersey. I was born in Queens with one brother while the oldest was born in Colombia. My greatest concern with being Colombiana is effectively passing it on to my children, which is kind of difficult I feel because it's so easy to just rely on so many American things. I'll do my best however. Gotta go home and catch a nap before I come back here. Talk to you all then....

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

cam... I'm sorry for what you had to go through and it was definitley, totally, wrong the way it happened. It is a true shame when people use laws meant to protect them in order to victimize others. It is indicitive of the negative power of double standards and blanket laws, which at times can do more damage than help in certain cases. We can only hope that as more light is shed on this issue, more adjustments are made to make the situation realistic and not so biased.

SweetNess comments on Domestic Violence

Cam No disrespect taken. As long as answers are honest I am learning from them. I see what you mean by my comment that I should've smacked the guy who insulted my country. While I can see why you suggest it's biased/hyporcritical (I know I spelled it wrong but I've been up for two days...) I guess I felt free to say it because I know that it was more a fleeting reaction of a thought to being insulted and I know that I would never do something like that... just so you know, I also don't feel women are justified in smacking men just because they're women and they are offended. HOWEVER, while saying that, I have the responsibility of knowing that people cannot read my mind or intentions like psychics, so I will be more careful with my words. SOOOO, thank you for calling me on that. Keep the comments coming people.... I'd like to hear from more women too...

SweetNess comments on Colombian recipes

Colombian foods Well I can't give you a bunch or recipies off hand, but I would suggest you invest in a rice cooker to make white rice. You can throw anything in there with it like mixed veggies or chopped potatoes or whatever. It's a quick meal.
Some ingredients to invest in: red and green bell peppers, onions, Adobo con Comino. Whenever we flavor food at my house we use this sometimes with diced tomato. For example, sautee a quarter slice of red and green pepper, onion, and tomato in a little oil until browned. Pour in a can of Goya brand beans (red kidney, pink, and black are tasty) sprinkle with adobo and bring to a boil. Then let it simmer on low till the beans split. Make some of that white rice in the rice cooker. Fry up a couple of steaks in light oil with a sprinkling of salt and adobo on both sides. As a side, get a platano maduro, which is a big fat yellow plantain (sweet plantain) and cut it lengthwise down the middle. Deep fry it until golden brown and cut into slices. You can eat that with some mozzarella cheese if you want. You can also boil slices of sweet plantain until you can stick a butter knife easily through them. It's a great meal.

SweetNess comments on what's your favourite Colombian food

rice well, I've had both empanadas with and without rice and I love them both. My mom raised us on empanadas made of rice, ground beef, boiled egg, cheese, and seasoned w/ salt, pepper, and the usual green pepper, red pepper, and onion. She even makes a Tuna version and it's delicious. If you didn't like your pastynanda kernow, you musta had the wrong one... Ain't nothing pasty about these.

SweetNess comments on Born in the U.S.A.

you guys are so interesting... and very informative... thank you. But... why has this turned into a forum about passports???? I've learned a lot, but I've still heard very little about personal experiences with how you look vs. what you "are", and what it's like to have different cultural influences and such. When's the last time someone put down your country without knowing that you were a native of that country? Once, when I told a guy that I was Colombiana, he replied "you can't be Colombian. You are too beautiful to be Colombian. They're all ugly over there." Oh my goodness I should've smacked him, but instead I just spit in the fruit drink that I sold him (or at least I should have). In any case, what more could I expect from a guy who had the nerve to ask a girl wearing a Bandanna of the Colombian flag with the word COLOMBIA in front, what she was?

SweetNess comments on Do you carry a weapon when you travel? Would you like to?

sunrise well over here in Jersey in the U.S. it's 7:15 a.m. and though I got no sleep, beauty, ugly, or otherwise. I shall go home about 9a.m., walk the dog, eat some breakfast, sleep from about 10:30 a.m. to 2:30p.m. and come right back to work for another 6 hour shift as I am supposedly young and able to handle this (and wanted to have a very free and lazy friday with my mom and some Mcnuggets and gobs of hunny.) So anyways, I'm fairly new to this site... what connection do you have to Colombia?
P.S. it's Sweet Ness, thought it's my fault for not making that clear with an underscore or something... everyone keeps calling me sweetness which is quite nice and not so far of the mark anyways I suppose. Whatever, I'm entering delirium now...

SweetNess comments on You know someone is taking tooo much to Colombia when:

Last minute weigh in... If you can't pre-weigh your luggage, then make sure you bring a friend to the airport with a large empty gym bag. If you are over your weight, you should already know what items you can do without and you can put them in that gym bag for your friend to stay with. I say this because when I was seeing my sister back off to Colombia, she was over-weight (her luggage that is!) and the guy was a total jerk to her. She just wanted to know why it was a problem then when it was only a few pounds and they didn't bother her about it on the way in. She wasn't being rude or anything. He threatened that if she didn't like it, he could just not let her get on the plane at all. I wanted to hit him because he made her cry and he didn't even care, but then his dumb-ass was smiling at my baby niece when she walked byt he scale like he had any concept of something nice. Anyways, I was there with our father and we helped her pick stuff out of her luggage and we took it back home with us. She would have been totally screwed if she had gone by herself. Also, bring a friend when traveling with young children so that they can be distracted if and when you come across any problems during the process of getting to your gate.

SweetNess comments on Do you carry a weapon when you travel? Would you like to?

hmmm well it seems we are already stepping around each other like on five different freakin' forums. Why aren't you sleeping!? I'm on midnight shift at work... what's your excuse. By the way, I'm not like the security guard if it makes any difference as to why I have the time to reply to so many forums. Anyways, the only man I tango with is my big sexy Ijun and I don't need a toothpick 'cause he brings his own... wooha!

SweetNess comments on Latinos are a rainbow of colors

skin deep I've had all kinds of stupid comments made to be because of how I look. I have long dirty-blonde hair, white skin and I guess European features. I have had people tell me that I look portuguese when I wear one outfit but puertorican when I wear another. That's another thing, why is it that when people see me, they think I'm white, then I tell them I'm Hispanic and they're like "oh, are you PuertoRican?". If I don't look Hispanic then how do I look Puertorican???? Then of course there is, "oh, you're Hispanic, say something in Spanish". Like what? " Tu eres ESTUPIDO!!!!" Is THAT satisfactory??? I've had guys have entire conversations about who should talk to me and what to say RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... I just look up and say "HI" would be a perfectly fine way to start. Hispanics always say they can tell I'm Colombian because my spanish is so proper, but Colombians always say they can tell I'm a Gringa because of the way I speak. What's up with that??? Every time a Hispanic who thinks that I'm "white" finds out that I'm Hispanic, all of a sudden I'm "down" with them. The worst is guys who try to kiss me on the cheek because "it's how Hispanic people do thing". F*** that, even a Hispanic woman can exercise her right to not put her lips where she does not want to. Okay... that's the end of my rant... for now.....

SweetNess comments on Do you carry a weapon when you travel? Would you like to?

not so simple A lot of people are not aware of the power that a shot from a gun packs and the "kick back" or whatever it's called. Also, many people who own guns for protection end up getting their gun taken away from them by the perpetrator and getting shot with it. Many people who are scared think that having a gun will give them some miracle guts or will be so scary in and of itself that they won't need to have guts. For something so dangerous, I think it involves a lot more thought than point and shoot. As for knives, it's a lot of the same reasoning. Personally, I like mind games when possible. Like, I'd cut myself with the knife, lick the blood of the blad and be like "well, I guess it's your turn". But.... that's just me I guess. Maybe I could just do the samba myself with the switchblade in my hand and we can all have a party!!! Anyways, as far as taking or having any of these weapons in Colombia, especially if you're not a Colombian citizen, I would still stick with a toothpick because you can use it and toss it. Even chewing gum to spit or a hat to flick would be just fine for it's surprise factor.

SweetNess comments on Things my wife likes, what about yours?

chocolate One of my favorites which I haven't done in a while is to dip a plain bread stick (like a Stella Dora) in very hot chocolate. Dip it in half way for a few seconds and pull out (before it disintegrates... like a man! hee hee). It will be all puffy and it tastes really creamy (also like a man...!)

SweetNess comments on Bogota - Safe for Americans?

Scopolamine I just wanted to say in response to miamimike's article that this drug seems to have been used here in NJ. There were two cases, one in a neighboring city, and one in my own neighborhood, where a woman would come up to a victim and show him/her a map and ask for directions. This would be the victim's last memory. One victim lead the burglers to her house and wrote them out checks and stuff. I remember being really really scared when I heard about this and I also remember hearing that it was a tactic used in another country. I never heard about this again (this was like last year), so I dunno if that's 'cause they just haven't reported it or the people got caught or what. I know that I'm very cautious about letting strangers touch me anywhere. There is no need for someone to touch you or be all up in your grill just to ask you a question.

SweetNess comments on Things my wife likes, what about yours?

yummy Chocolate and Cheese!? two of my FAVORITE things! I'm gonna ask my mom about that and I'm totally gonna try it. As for weird food combinations, I grew up eating boiled potatoes dribbled with mayonnaise. A lot of people think it's gross, which I don't get because it's the same stuff in potato salad! I don't know if that's Colombian at all or just my mom being experimental 'cause she's a great cook. She also taught us to dunk McDonalds nuggets in honey. I personally love to dunk Champ's sesame chicken into their creamy broccoli and cheese soup. I also love mozzarella cheese with any slice of fruit, it just compliments well. YES, I'M PMS'ing and I'M HUNGRY... so let's talk more about food... jeje ;)

SweetNess comments on Do you carry a weapon when you travel? Would you like to?

"Weapons" In speaking of weapons, I keep hearing about guns and knives and even tazers. First of all, I agree that your mind is one of your best weapons because it leads to the most reasonable defense, be that running away or applying some joint locks. I've practiced martial arts for five years now. Salla Kempo, Aikido, Budo Bujitso, and Kickboxing most recently. First of all, as was said before, when relying on your body as a weapon, it must be kept well maintained or you'll get rusty. Secondly, you need to know when to walk (or run) away from a situation. Some things you can live without. Sometimes, you can even diffuse the situation all together if your mind is sharp enough. As for actual weapons, I believe the best you can have is your hands. You can give anyone a knife or a gun, it does nothing for them if they don't know how to use it. Why is that all that comes of in this posts anyway?! A weapon can be ANYTHING. Once of my sensei's walks around with a toothpick in his mouth and he'll look at you when you piss him off and say "you know, I can do a lot of damage with this thing...". I once went to a Martial Arts conference and saw a stick fighting Master fight off two skilled uki's with big sticks with his half drunk bottle of water! My favorite weapon is an umbrella because it's inconspicuous. I'm small so I actually like to draw the attacker IN because then I can pinch him to death. If someone tries to rob you, spit in his face and jam your finger in his throat at the same time.... there's no need for dramatic roundhouses and flips across the room (unless your just THAT GOOD)!