SlmieBall has left 42 comments

SlmieBall comments on Yesterday's Bombings In Cartegena and Bogotá

Got It. Tells you a bit about how word of mouth news does not always work well.

SlmieBall comments on Yesterday's Bombings In Cartegena and Bogotá

I really like this [personal attack deleted. I will delete accounts if you attack people personally!]

SlmieBall comments on Panama - Colombia along the Carrabean Coast

Are they? And who made you the Decency Police?

SlmieBall comments on The US Army a bunch of clowns, or what?

You Are Right They are complete clowns. Personaly, I feel that they should all be tortured to death by Cuban soldiers -- or worse. But I am not a Soviet Premier, am I?

SlmieBall comments on my long lost love in Medellin Help!

Follow Your Heart and Soul And things will work out. I do not know how, but things always work out in the end for Me. Maybe this will help you, too.

SlmieBall comments on Panama - Colombia along the Carrabean Coast

I Never Got Killed And the trip was fun in the extreme. But Darién is where the guerillas and other narfarious critters like to play. Take the trip, take a gun, and enjoy yourself (you can legally buy a gun in Panamá)

SlmieBall comments on Panama - Colombia along the Carrabean Coast

Copa Airlines Panamá -- Bogotá: $200.00USD or less one way.

SlmieBall comments on Notary in Colombia

Notary I think that you need a Visa in advance before you can get that far. If you already have one, or if I am wrong (it happens), then tell Me to fuck off.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian passport

That Would Be Cool Get the rights but not the responsibilities. I like it. You have lived in the United States too long.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian passport

Well that is something I did not know before. Thanks for the education.

SlmieBall comments on what makes colombian women beautiful?

If You Like It.... go for it.

SlmieBall comments on Lonely American Man In Cúcuta, Norte de Santander

So You Think I Am A Brit??? That was very funny. I was born in Oroville, Butte County, California, U.S.A.

SlmieBall comments on Lonely American Man In Cúcuta, Norte de Santander

Honduras Hey, yo, I want a mate not a toy. Forget Honduras. I am happy and comfortable here, albiet sim chicas

SlmieBall comments on what makes colombian women beautiful?

You May Well Be Right But with Venezuela as crazy as it is, and with Me half-way comfortable in Colombia, why would I want to find out.

I will check out that Website, though. Thanks for the link.

SlmieBall comments on what makes colombian women beautiful?

That Can't Be Good My Grandmother did the same things for My Grandfather. That scares Me because My Grandfather was such a sack of filth that he was eventually murdered by a Daughter from a differant marriage --and then I pissed on his grave.

SlmieBall comments on Lonely American Man In Cúcuta, Norte de Santander

I Would Love To But, unfortunately, My Internat time at this café is almost up and I have to run and get some grub anyway (you should try the meat pastries here if you get a chance, better than American Hot Pockets, for damn sure), so I will save that one for tomorrow. Think of it as waiting in suspence for the next chapter in your favorite Soap Opera or for the next episode of "Enterprise", or whatthefuckever.

¡¡¡Muerte a los Estados Unidos!!!

SlmieBall comments on Colombian passport

Colombia's Political Constitution Good Sir:

Once Colombian Citizenship is aquired by birth, it sticks like glue and cannot be renounced or waived. Both of your parents are Colombian, and therefore you are as Colombian as Pablo Escobar himself (I just love anyone who poisons the United States with drugs or anything else nasty, drug lords included!! ¡¡¡¡Muerte a los Estados Unidos!!!!).

The Colombian Embassy in Washington, D.C., U.S.A., would be a good place to start. After that, you may want to try the Ministry of Exterior Relations in Santa Fe de Bogotá. YOu will need to prove your parents' place of birth and all of that good shit, but you should have a pretty brown Pasaporte Colombiano, Cédula, and Military Card to go with it in not toomuch time at all.

CHAO!

SlmieBall comments on Lonely American Man In Cúcuta, Norte de Santander

Thanks For The Advise. Actually, I am trying to learn Spanish, and doing better than some people at it.

The problem with Me finding women is that I am so repulsive in apearance and dress and religeous practice to the women of Colombia that even prostitutes wilnot take My Money.

SlmieBall comments on Lonely American Man In Cúcuta, Norte de Santander

I Am For Real, Like It Or Not. Yes, I am for real. I chose Colombia because I like it here. And I already have papers to stay here as a political refugee from the DAS.

SlmieBall comments on what makes colombian women beautiful?

And My Ex was Half Italian NOW I AM TOLD! Well, I said she was My Ex,right?

SlmieBall comments on what makes colombian women beautiful?

Lucky Bastard One: YOU ARE RIGHT.

Two: YOU ARE DAMN LUCKY! I have been getting rejected by every woman here in Colombia who has so much as set eyes on Me or heard My Name since I arrived here from Puerto Obaldia, Darién, Panamá. That does not mean that I have not stopped looking, it just means that I am a looser and you are a damn lucky bastard.

Three: I even offered a prostitute one million Colombian Pesos for an hour of service one Night (every other whore on the street had said no to offers starting at 20,000 and ending up at 900,000, so I thought that a million would get it done), only to be sprayed with mace and my driver, too. We both ended up in a doctor's office. I dod not do anything to her, I am just so repulsive that no amount of lovbe or money will attract a woman to Me.

SlmieBall comments on what makes colombian women beautiful?

Good Damn Question Here I am sitting in Cúcuta, Norte de Santander Department,and pondering the same question.

Uruguayas are true gems, but that is in the way of personality, not allure alone.

I would guess that the alure of Colombian women is a combination of natrual selection, attentitiveness to appearance, and simple genetics.

As for the lout who is attracted to Venezuelean women, please seek psychiatric help. I was in San Antonio, Venezuela, three Days ago, and the women there are quite ugly. (note: You do not even stop when crossing the Puente Internacional Símon Bolívar from Cúcuta to San Antonio, so if you happen to be in Norte de Santander at the moment, take a trip into that horrible country (My Ex from Uruguay tells Me that "Venezuela" means "snake" or "place of great evil") and se for yourself.

SlmieBall comments on Darién Gap

They Arrest You For Your Own Good The Darién Gap is like a John Whayne movie in the jungle. They arrest you for your own good and then send you back to Panamá City with the information you will need to cross Darién safely. They are empowered to do this under Panamanian Laws.

And if you make it past the Poicia Panameño, what good wil it do you? If the FARC Crew does not nail you for target practice, the deep jungle Kuna Indians will mistake you for a missionary and slice you to pieces.

Fly from Panamá City to Puerto Obalida, and then take a boat to Turbo, Colombia. The boat is a little indian canue wuth a huge outboard motor rigged to it and on the open ocean will give you more excitement and fear than you will ever want to handle. And, unlike "Walking the Gap", you will actually live to tell about just how beautiful the Gap actualy is and why they should not build a freeway through it like they plan to do.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian Women

Medellín Recommendations Merry Meet:

Medellín in My Experiance is similar to many American Cities. I would recommend that you dress and act like you mormally would. If you try to fit in, you will just stand out as someone with money to hide.

In short, if you are going there to visit a friend/lover, go there to visit your friend/lover. If you go into Medellín looking to find trouble, you will find trouble. If you go there hoping to find love, and already have a woman in the sights of your rifle ("This is My Rifle, this is My Gun; this one is for shoting, this one is for fun"), you will probably find it. But if you go to Medellín looking for trouble of any sort, you will very easily find it amd a lot of it.

IN SUM: Be as careful as you would in the United States. A can of mace and not going out alone at Night does not hurt.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian Women

Medellín Recommendations Merry Meet:

Medellín in My Experiance is similar to many American Cities. I would recommend that you dress and act like you mormally would. If you try to fit in, you will just stand out as someone with money to hide.

In short, if you are going there to visit a friend/lover, go there to visit your friend/lover. If you go into Medellín looking to find trouble, you will find trouble. If you go there hoping to find love, and already have a woman in the sights of your rifle ("This is My Rifle, this is My Gun; this one is for shoting, this one is for fun"), you will probably find it. But if you go to Medellín looking for trouble of any sort, you will very easily find it.

IN SUM: Be as careful as you would in the United States. A can of mace and not going out alone at Night does not hurt.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian Women

Why I Believe This A Guy in Honduras tried to sell Me his 14yo Daughter (Sell, not rent) for ten Limperas (less than a Dollar). In My Time in Tegucigalpa, women have thrown themselves at Me and begged Me to take them.

The Honduran Government openly admits to these horrible problems and tries to put a stop top these kinds of things, and more power to them.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian Women

Both ways were intended. Colombian women have a tendance twords both eroticism and Christianity.

SlmieBall comments on Lonely American Man In Cúcuta, Norte de Santander

Your Answers I: I am no good at meeting women because I am the Superman of Loosers, remember????

II: I have comne here as a political refugee after several attempts were made on My Life in California due to My Political Activities there (note: I voted for Bush, and I am not from Florida).

III: I will never be returning to the United States. It is My Intent to become a Colombian Citizen in two years after I have lived here long enough to aquire Colombian nationality.

IV: Even if I wanted to return to the United States, that will not ever hapen. On 9 May 2004, the United States Embassy in Santa Fe de Bogotá issued a Certificate of Loss of Nationality. I am now stateless and forever ineligible for a United States Visa in My Travel Document from the World Service Authority (http://www.worldservice.org). It was bloddy hell to get the Colombian D.A.S. to accept the document, and that was after they had called the United States Embassy several times trying to get them to revoke the Certificate of Loss of Nationality (it makes it easier for them politically if they do not have to admit that they are protecting you from the United States).

V: Does this answer your questions????

VI: Anyone with doubts is encouraged to trace this post. It will lead you directly to Colombia's Norte de Santander Department, specifically Cúcuta.

SlmieBall comments on Darién Gap

How To Cross Go to the town of Turbo, and then you will be able to take a boat to Poerto Obaldia, Darién, Panamá. After that, you will have to fly to Panamá City. IF THE PANAMANIAN NATIONAL POLICE FIND YOU TRYING TO WALK THE GAP, YOU WILL BE ARRESTED AND DEPORTED TO THE UNITED STATES.

I entered Colombia via the Gap in this way, only in reverce.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian Women

for Colombian Nationality you need to stay married for at least two years before Colombia will count her as your own.

SlmieBall comments on Colombian Women

Well, It Depends Greatly. Merry Meet:

You seem to have your head together on this one. I have dated two Colombian women since arriving here as a political refugee and have found the experiance very rewarding. Since I am the Superman of Loosers, Nothing ever lasted for more than a Week.

But My Advise to you would be this: Get a Visa from the Colombian Embassy to live here for about a Year and come down. Visit the Departments of Norte de Santander and Antioquia, as well as Santa Fe de Bogotá. There is a little town on the Colombia-Venezuela Frontier called Cúcuta, and you will find a lot of good women there who will be very friendly to you. Get to know this wonderful nation in all of her wonder before you come to consider taking a woman to mate from among her number.

A bit of warning, though: If it is said that Peruvian women are as meek as mice, then it is also to be said that Colombian women can be as firey as a Baptist Minister in a whorehouse. Just as Colombian women are very erotic and affectionate, so also are they firebrands in every since of the word. So if you are the type of guy who just wants a pretty little toy to play with, then I do not recommend this place to you: Honduras or Guatemala would be more to your liking.

I hope that this has been helpful to you.

Blessed Be.


Sincerely,
LESTAT CLUADIUS DE ORLÉANS y MONTEVIDEO

SlmieBall comments on a scary, but necessary trip.

Sent you an E-Mail. You would be wise to read it.

SlmieBall comments on Safe in Colombia? Yes...the question is: Is It safe to live in the U.S.A?

Whatever they're smoking, put some in My Bags after I get rejected again by the Colombian Princess that I am hoping will not reject Me! I think you get the idea.

"Jerry Springer" and "Cops" not real!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! They really must be stuck very far away.

SlmieBall comments on Safe in Colombia? Yes...the question is: Is It safe to live in the U.S.A?

GOT THAT RIGHT! BUT THEN AGAIN, I AM A TOTAL LOOSER AND HAVE BEEN DEPORTED FROM MORE NATIONS THAN MOST PEOPLE KNEW EXISTED AND REJECTED BY EVERY WOMAN WHO EVER LOOKED AT ME.

SlmieBall comments on Going to Colombia this weekend, looking for that special someone. Any tips were and how to find her? Agencies recommended?

You are right. But you missed out on one Looser whose failures would have invalidated your entire post's position. I have never been accepted by one woman in My Life (aside from Mexican, Dominican, Argentine, Peruvian, and Uruguayan prostitutes). But have been rejected by at least two hundred and twenty-six (I quit counting then) women from the United States and many other countries (in Latin America, Asia, and Western Eurpoe).

Party on, dude.

SlmieBall comments on Going to Colombia this weekend, looking for that special someone. Any tips were and how to find her? Agencies recommended?

SEND HIM TO SANTIAGO DE CALI? ARE YOU INSANE??? THAT CITY IS EVIL PERSONIFOED! TRY BOGATA OR CARTEGENA OR BARRANQUILLA!

BUT, THEN AGAIN, LOOK WHICH FROG IS CROAKING.

SlmieBall comments on Going to Colombia this weekend, looking for that special someone. Any tips were and how to find her? Agencies recommended?

Here is an agency. http://www.mylatinrose.com . They are good, but the rest (*sighs*) is up to you.

SlmieBall comments on Going to Colombia this weekend, looking for that special someone. Any tips were and how to find her? Agencies recommended?

Seems That We Are In A Similar Boat. PLEASE HELP Merry Meet, all:

It seems that I am in a similar boat as our original poster here, only I am going to Bogota, and have already "met" (electronically) the woman that I am hoping to be with.

The problem is that I know almost nothing about the mindset of Colombian women (except for what I have heard and seen from a bus window going from Santiago de Cali to Bogata once a few Months ago) and I am notoriously bad at relationships anyway. I mean, like SUPER LOOSER OF THE SUPER LOOSERS bad. I mean like The Guy Who Was Rejected By "Last Chance Dating Service" Bad. Like writing to "Jail Babes" (from newspaper advertisements) Bad -- and still getting rejected BIG TIME.

So here I have found "My" Colombian "Princess" (well, hopefully, but likely?), and have spent almost all of My Money for a ticket to Good Old Cocaine Country's Beautiful Capital City (forgive Me if I have offended anyone, PLEASE. NOT My Intention) of Santa Fe de Bogota, and will be stuck there for a whole Month (unless sooner deported by the D.A.S.) with a woman whom I have only exchanged two E-Letters and two telephone calls with (at $10.00USD a Minute!).

Now, Good People of the World, I am hoping that someone somewhere can give Me some kind of a guide post as to what to expect from your "typical" Colombian woman and how to properly court her -- without getting rejected, hurt, arrested, kidnapped, and/or deported. I am asking this because the last time I was rejected by a woman (in Uruguay), I tried to kill Myself like six times in one Week, and it was everything that the Uruguayan Police and U.S. Embassy could do to prevent Me from succeeding, and I do not think that the Colombian Police will be so willing or interested in to keeping a depressed SuperLooser alive. I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO &%# at UP AGAIN!

So, if you could please give Me some information, please PLEASE do.

Blessed Be.

Lestat.

E-Mail: wiccanhighpriestofeldoradocounty at yahoo.com

SlmieBall comments on Stupid question about Cali

Just Remember Everything in Santiago de Cali is hot.

SlmieBall comments on 3rd Dumb ?.......Gift Delivery in BAQ

Alright, Homeboy, Time For Some Postal Re-Education Merry Meet:

See, homie, you really can't call the Colombian Postal Administration a "post Office", because it is more of a postal MALFUNCTION.

Now, presupposing that you get whatever you want to send through Customs (not always so simple as sending that book to Canada), the question quickly becomes: Will the package get to it's destination at all? The only way to have this answered "yes" is to go either private courrier (e.g.: FedEx, UPS, DHL Worldwide Express, et al.), which will cost you at least $100.00USD OR MORE, or to go USPS Accountable Mail (e.g. Recorded Delivery ["Yellow Tag"], Registered Mail ["Red Tag"], or Insured Mail -- International ["Blue Tag"]). The cheapest of these services, the "Yellow Tag", or Recorded Delivery, starts in price at about $3.10USD for a letter-sized item and goes up from there. A Return Reciept will cost you a flat rate of $1.75USD flat rate. But I would go with the "Red Tag", or Registered Mail, which starts at $8.00USD plus postage, plus Return Receipt, plus insurance, which I can guarentee you that you will need.

Going Yellow or Red Tag will take the item anywhere between tewn Days and one Month to get where it needs to go, but IT WILL GET THERE FOR SURE IF YOU GO RED TAG.

SlmieBall comments on A Little Angry.....

Got that right.

SlmieBall comments on Can an American own a house in Colombia?

Apartments/Houses Hey, thanks for letting us all know about the bank account thing. I have wanted to move to Bogata or Cartegena for some time now for personal reasons. I was thinking about renting an apartment, but this thing about bank accounts and being able to make payments says so much. Thanks for saving Me the trouble of asking.