nothatsure has left 15 comments

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

Thanks MaFe for that..you're right...and he is doing that already.It's not actually him but me that gets upset about what I see as bad treatment.He just accepts it...and the fact that he accepts it upsets me even more.

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

It's in the Middle East. Funnily enough the Arabs here treat him well,given that racism is abundant here too(yes...we all know racism isn't confined to Colombia) Maybe it's because many think he's one of them anyway..he doesn't look any different. So of course I might just have got the wrong end of the stick here.Maybe these rude compatriots of his just suffer from terrible memories(poor things) and can't remember meeting my husband previously.They probably think he's Arab and so don't want to say hi in case he doesn't understand. I'd love to believe that but,as I have posted earlier,I have seen enough of this racist s..t in Colombia to know this isn't so.

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

May be your Colombian costeño does not have good manners and family education, in other words is vulgar. Actually'my Colombian" is anything but vulgar.He's polite and reserved and completley inoffensive.The only thing "wrong"" with him as far as I can make out is the colour of his skin oh,and maybe the fact that he isn't from a wealthy background. Of course I'm not expecting him to be a charity case...don't be stupid doktordemente.I'm just upset that his fellow compatriots can't even say hi to him in passing if they see us in the supermarket rather than walking down the other isle and pretending they haven't seen us at all.Obviously not all people share the same interests and it doesn't follow that all people of the same country will be best buddies but common good manners surely? I don't want to be best mates with my compatriots either but I ackowledge them if I see them out,I accept invitations to things and return the compliment at a later date.We're all in this together when we work in countries other than our own so what's wrong with being nice to one another.The lack of good manners and education,as far as I'm concerned comes from people who think they're too good to offer common courtesy to someone who think is beneath them.

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

I have actually taken lifts with Colombian 'friends"who have insisted that my hubby sit in the back and not the front of the car,I have been invited into a house in Barranquilla and my husband expected to wait outside...I waited outside with him,and on one occasion he was not allowed into a hotel in Cartegena.We have arrived at one or two hotels in this same city to find that the room we booked over the phone is mysteriously no longer available.The whole thing makes me want to throw up.

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

In my husband's case there are about 10 Spanish speakers maximum in the whole city.I can count the Colombians on one hand.He is very lonely and goes weeks without speaking Spanish...and these ba...tds just ignore him. English,American,Canadian,Australian all make him welcome..they are more open minded.De pronto says racism isn't about naionality but about small minded people.Well I'm sorry but there sure are a lot of small minded Colombians around.They should be ashamed of themselves.

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

Here here toneloc24. When you live with someone being treated this way you really feel it.I wonder how many people posting on here experience the colombian brand of racism first hand.I experience it second hand through my hubby and that's bad enough. I'm glad that some get their comeuppance...they deserve to!

nothatsure comments on "White"Colombians and costenos and racism.

It's wrong but it's there...very true but it's still unacceptable.nobody has the right to reject/ignore someone because of the colour of their skin.I'm so sick of it I want to scream.These "whiteÇolombians are over here doing jobs that they would be ashamed to do back home but they still think themsleves superior to my darker skinned hubby who at least has a proper job and is not out selling his soul(or his body)to make a living.

nothatsure comments on Bancolombia wire problem

I agree...Bancolombia leaves a lot to be desired! Frankly,I had expected better from Citibank so I was sorely disappointed with this carry on.When I returned to Colombia last summer I just closed all my accounts there....and belive me thet wasn't straightforward either.

nothatsure comments on Bancolombia wire problem

Don't want to be the bearer of bad news but I had the same problem last year with Citibank.Wired money to my own account in Bogota and exactly the same story.As I am not in the country I asked them to wire it back to me......no response.It took 4 months,many phone calls from me and many emails from the bank who had sent the money...all the time my money was in limbo,so to speak.No department that we rang seemed to know which department was responsible for sending the money back.Finally sent a nasty letter to my own branch in Bogota and emailed it to a friend who delivered it and,finally, the money was returned. Hope it doesn't take you as long as 4 months but nothing is straightforward where Colombian banks are concerned.

nothatsure comments on Custom-made Jeans in Bogotá (big and tall clothing)

You can get anything made to an excellent standard at almost any of the little sastres or tailors around Bogota.Just take along your favourite jeans and they will be able to make a perfect copy..they'll also tell you how much fabric you need to get and what kind.Beats trailing round looking for a shop with clothes that fit.

nothatsure comments on I need highlights for my hair...any recommendations?

Try Gossip on the 19.A dutch guy owns it and does all the work himself.He gets all his stuff from Europe and understands the difference in hairtypes.Yes it's expensive but worth it it you don't want to have a mess made of your hair. Also slightly cheaper...the scwatzkopt salon in exito portal norte.

nothatsure comments on Mary me.....marry my family...sound familiar?

Good rules,gringoinbogota.It's unfortunate,but you really have to be hard hearted to survive in this culture.The problem with many Colombian/us-european relationships is that we are on complete opposite sides of a social and economic divide and it's very difficult to meet somewhere in the middle. My feeling right now is that no one should expect anyone else to pay their way for them just because they might be from a different financial background(or percieved to be because of where they come from) Over the years in Colombia I have become much more wary of my actions and less giving and less generous.....because it doesn't help anyone and actually encourages people to be dependent.My husband's family managed fine for years before we met.....therefore they can continue to look after them selves. I have now returned home after almost two months visitng Colombia.Let's just say that where we live right now is a very wealthy country(which hasn't helped in the family's perception of me as a rich gringa.)...there are no beggars,street people,families in need...and though I hate to admit it ...it's a relief not to be constantly pestered for cash in one way or another. Maybe I have just got tired of Colombia right now...I can't say that I was sorry to leave this time.I probably need 'time out".We definitely won't be going back next year...I say we...assuming that my husband elects to join me....and that he can deal with my ultimatum of no cash whatsoever to go back there!!!

nothatsure comments on Mary me.....marry my family...sound familiar?

I am really enjoying everybody's comments and it is pretty clear I am not alone in this.I have been given a whole variety of stories to make me part with my money and,please don't laugh but..yes,I too have forked out for the funeral, a brainscan for a very sick friend(funny...I never got to hear about the results of that!) oh...and shoes for a poor friend who's shoes had fallen to bits while he was away working and this was an emergency and I would definitely be paid back.I never was paid back,never got to know which friend it was and,incidentely...the shoes cost 200,000 pesos...rather expensive for some emergency shoes wouldn't you agree. OK...i have been a mug....but not anymore! Before reading these posts I had no idea how common this was. Leeroy's comments are interesting.....would this situation happen between two Colombians of different classes or is it just a Colombian Gringo thing? Actually it probably wouldn't happen because wealthy Colombians have more sense than to get involved with people from a lower economic class.I found their"apartheid" quite distasteful whn I first came out to Colombia...but I am beginning to see that it may be for a very good reason!

nothatsure comments on Mary me.....marry my family...sound familiar?

Loads of great advice.Thanks a lot. You're right...musn't let bitterness get into what is in all other ways a good relationship.Actually I have given him an ultimatum...basically to think really hard about whether he can say no to his family and if he can't...to not bother coming back from Colombia(He's staying out there for another month) Seems hard,I know but I have decided I can't do this family thing...at least not with his family because quite frankly they are taking the p****. To give an example...some months ago his nephew got a place at one of the free universities in Bogota.Now I was all for giving a helping hand there...give a young man the opportunity for a good education and a chance in life.....but this kid doesn´t want to find student digs...oh no...he wants a flat to himself in estrato 4...even my husband appreciated how ludicrous this was.When we said no way...find sme student digs...share with other people as students throuhout the world do....he changed his mind and said he wasn't going to study.His loss.Thats the way it is with this family.They all expect something for nothing.He has 7 sublings and only 2 of them work.The rest laze around the house all day playing with their expensive cellphones.They are not rich but they are not poor either.The eldest sister does all the work...she has a good business and shop and all the family it seems live off her.It's ok while times are good but when money is short...that's when the requests start. So you see my predicament? I am not talking about a family who is down on its luck and practically in the gutter.I am talking about a family of able bodied eople...all capable of working and putting something into the family business but can't be bothered a)because big sis does all the work and b) Now their brother has married a gringa they're made for life(or so they think).That's why I resent the money issue.

nothatsure comments on Mary me.....marry my family...sound familiar?

Thanks..all your comments make sense.Obviously no is the operative word here...and actually I really thought we (hubby and I) were very clear about this...so I was obvioulsy put out when the most recent request for money was met.Like in Azul' post I was given the excuse that the amount is not a great deal when translated into dollars...but that really isn't the point. Like Calipro.we are not rich,just comfortably off.Neither do I have middle class parents who are willing to send money to help with this extended family(I wouldn't ask them if I had...but believe me..I have seen it happen with rich middle class gringos) My husband has never had had to pay his own mortgage or think about pension provision...things like that so he doesn't understand why I get all worked up about money been "given away" just like that. From day one I made it very clear that I am not a rich gringa...and that any money we make would be exclusively for us...unless of course we were lucky enough to win the lottery or something......now that would be a different story!