Lumpy has left 25 comments

Lumpy comments on Thank you so much for helping out!

Payment Sent! Peter,

Thanks for providing a forum for us to learn, vent & discuss "hot" topics relating to Colombia. I made my donation and I hope others follow - to help with the continued development of your site. I have learned so much over the past few months and I look fwd to my future enlightenment from the other members of this forum!

Take care & keep up the good work!

Lumpy

Lumpy comments on Things I've learned on PBH the last few days

Awwwwww I know I have only posted a few times over the past few months but, I must say they have been quite profound (if not genious!) But, you left me out & my feeble feelings are hurt Kat1! = )

Maybe if I post nuddie pics of me and a burro... I will get some respect like elmo! = P

Lumpy

Lumpy comments on VOIP

SKYPE IS THE BEST IMHO, I think Skype is the BEST! I have been using skype for months now and it is FREE between PC to PC! Since you both have DSL & laptops, just download the program and calls from your PC to hers is FREE. You can also use it to call all over the world... you just charge your account via a credit card, PayPal or moneybrokers. No additional things to plug-in, configure - just a headset & microphone. And if you don't like using the headset/microphone... you can even plug in a USB VOIP phone and talk just like a "regular" phone. I picked up my USB VOIP phone for $40 on eBay.

I work graveyard shift in Iraq (and live in a tent with 10 people) so, I turn on my laptop, grab my cordless USB phone and walk out of the tent to talk all over the world! = ) (It's not nice to wake-up your tentmates after a long 12 hour day since we all carry weapons!) Hahahaha

Yahoo chat also has similar features But with web cam & chat! = ) Good luck...

Lumpy comments on Miss Colombia photos from Cartagena

Wooooow! - ) Mama mia! = ) I need to move to SA ASAP!

Lumpy comments on Excellent Spanish/English Computer Translation program!

No wonder... No wonder NOBODY responds to my posts in Spanish?!?! Maybe I need to sound/write like a 3 year old and maybe I can get those damn programs to work correctly for me! hahaha actually, writing & speaking like a 3 year old may not be THAT much of a challenge for me! = p

Lumpy comments on Excellent Spanish/English Computer Translation program!

FREE... Why not use Google? It is FREE and pretty good. Go to Google.com, click on "language tools" on the right side of your screen. From there you can convert languages until you are blue in the face!

Lumpy comments on looking for 'Utopia'

The Desert... I'm in the deserts of west Baghdad and we get "ate alive' by them Iraqi mosquitos GringoB... maybe our thread leader needs to invest in some deet & one of those cool bug zapping lights! = ) Good luck on your quest ARM... I hope you find what you are looking for!

Lumpy comments on Hash Harriers

?!?!?!? Am I a retard?!?! WTF is a hash harrier? Or should I NOT ask? = )

Lumpy comments on Certificado de Solteria

Answer for you... No problem... glad it helped.

Here is what your family needs to do. I am no means an attorney (UC is though) but, here is my advice. (I assume you are having a civil wedding and not through the church... if it is a church wedding, you can delete my reply!)

Have your family complete the form above. Although in English and Spanish, I would still have it sent to the Apostille in Virginia. Have them first get it get it notorized in Virginia. Then send it to Richmond with the fee & a self-adressed self stamped envelope back to them. Then have your family express mail it to you since you only have 3 weeks. If you use the USPS airmail, I don't know how long it would take & wouldn't chance it if it were my wedding! = )

Here is the address to the Apostille in Virginia!

Virginia
Office of Secretary of Commonwealth
Authentications Division
830 East Main Street, 14th Floor
Richmond, VA 23219
804-786-2441
http://www.soc.state.va.us
Fee: $10.00
Designated Authority: Secretary of the Commonwealth; Chief Clerk, Office of the Secretary of Commonwealth.

No need to thank me... my bill is in the mail! = )

Lumpy comments on Getting married in Colombia

My 3 cents... (inflation) Civil Weddings seem to be less restrictive in MY opinion... the following is taken from the US Embassy website... hope it helps.

Marriage to a Colombian National

The following is an informal interpretation of Colombian law regarding the marriage of a U.S. citizen to a Colombian national. One should always consult with the appropriate Colombian governmental and/or religious officials as to specific details and updated information. A marriage performed in accordance with Colombian law is recognized under the law of the United States.

Colombian Civil Law Requirements

The following documentary requirements must be completed to satisfy the civil law regarding marriage in Colombia. Civil marriage is a contract which takes effect upon issuance of the deed of marriage (escritura pública de matrimonio civil), which is issued by a notary public. In order to process the deed of marriage the foreigner has to identify himself with his passport or a Colombian foreigner identification card. It is no longer necessary to have a marriage visa to marry in Colombia.

U.S. birth certificate: The U.S. citizen, if not born in Colombia, must obtain a certified copy of his/her birth certificate, issued within the three months prior to the wedding. The certified birth certificate, if issued in a language other than Spanish, must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

Certificado de soltería: The U.S. citizen must present a notarized, written statement, executed by a family member or close friend who has known him/her for more than ten years, stating that he/she has never been married. If issued in a language other than Spanish, this statement must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

Apostille: The Hague convention abolishing the requirement of legalization for foreign documents dated October 5, 1961 entered into force for the United States on October 15, 1981. The Convention entered into force for Colombia on January 30, 2001. Documents originating in the United States require for recognition in Colombia an Apostille issued by competent U.S. authorities.

If either the U.S. citizen or his/her Colombian fiancé/e have previously been married in other than a Roman Catholic ceremony, a Certificate of Dissolution must be presented, properly authenticated, depending on whether it was issued in Colombia or abroad, as indicated above. If issued in a language other than Spanish, this statement must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

When these documents have been prepared as indicated, they should be delivered to a Colombian notary for processing. The Colombian spouse should at this time provide an authenticated birth certificate issued within the month prior to the wedding, as well as an authenticated copy of his/her cédula.

For civil ceremonies, the notary will be able to offer instruction on petitioning a Colombian judge to perform the wedding service.
Please note that after the wedding, the U.S. citizen must provide the Colombian notary (who has processed the papers) confirmation that the municipality in the U.S. which earlier issued his/her birth certificate has been informed of the marriage. Additionally, the marriage certificate must be registered with the Colombian notary.

Roman Catholic Church Requirements

As noted above, in the event of a Roman Catholic Church marriage to a Colombian national, the U.S. citizen must comply with the following documentary requirements, in addition to the Colombian civil law requirements listed previously:
Baptismal Certificate: If the U.S. citizen was not born in Colombia, and is Roman Catholic, he/she must present a baptismal certificate obtained within the three months, prior to the wedding with an Apostille. The certified baptismal certificate, if issued in a language other than Spanish, must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

U.S. citizens who are not Roman Catholic must instead present their birth certificate. The certified birth certificate, if issued in a language other than Spanish, must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

Confirmation Certificate: U.S. citizens who are Catholic must present their certificate of confirmation. The certified confirmation certificate, if issued in a language other than Spanish, must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

U.S. citizens who are not Catholic must instead present certification of the religion to which they belong (and translation, if necessary) with an Apostille.

Certificado de soltería: U.S. citizens who are Catholic must present a written statement, sworn before a Roman Catholic priest and authenticated by a Church official, executed by two family members stating:
a. how many years they have known the U.S. citizen; and
b. that the U.S. citizen has never been married in the Catholic Church or, if previously married in the Catholic Church, the reason for the dissolution of the marriage.
If issued in a language other than Spanish, this statement must be translated into Spanish by an official translator and must have an Apostille.

If the U.S. citizen who is Roman Catholic has been previously married in the Church, he/she must additionally present certification of the annulment of the marriage, certification of the civil law divorce, and/or certification of the death of the previous spouse. A person previously married by the Catholic Church and subsequently divorced from a still living spouse may not be remarried in the Catholic Church in Colombia without first obtaining an annulment from the Church.

U.S. citizens who are not Catholic must instead present a written statement, sworn before a Notary, executed by two family members stating:
c. how many years they have known the U.S. citizen; and
d. that the U.S. citizen has never married, either in the Catholic Church or under civil law.
All documents must be translated into Spanish and have an Apostille issued by the appropriate U.S. authorities.
Premarital Course: All U.S. citizens, regardless of religion, seeking to marry a Colombian national in the Roman Catholic Church, must attend a Church-sponsored premarital course, and present the course certificate along with the above documents.
Important: The Colombian national spouse must comply with his/her own documentary requirements.

All of the above-referenced documentation should be presented, Monday through Friday, between 9:00AM to 12:00M, at least one month prior to the anticipated wedding date at:

Arquidiócesis de Bogotá
Delegación Arzobispal
Matrimonios de Extranjeros
Curia Arzobispal
Carrera 7 # 10-20
Phone: (571) 350-5511

Along with the referenced documentation, the couple to be married must present themselves, and two witnesses of legal age (preferably family members), together with the identity documents of the couple and the witnesses.

The proposed marriage will be announced by the Roman Catholic Church and, if no information which may prevent the marriage is presented within one month after the announcement, the wedding date will be set.

Following the wedding ceremony, the Roman Catholic Church marriage certificate must be registered with a Colombian notary.

List of Colombian consulates in the U.S.
Persons wishing information concerning entrance requirements to Colombia, laws and related matters, and matrimonial visas should communicate with the Colombian Embassy or the Colombian Consular office nearest their place of residence.

For further information on visa issues, please visit:
bogota.usembassy.gov
http://uscis.gov
http://travel.state.gov

As for the proving of your single status... my buddy used the following. It is written in Englsh and Spanish. He had it notorized & sent to the Apostile of his state. The Apostille put their seal on it & mailed it back to him. GOOD LUCK & I hope this helped.

I, _______________________, certify that I have known John Doe for over ten (10) years and he is not currently married. He is my son. I am his Father.


I, _______________________, certify that I have known John Doe for over ten (10) years and he is not currently married. He is my son. I am his Mother.


Yo, ______________________, certifico he conocido a John Doe por más de diez (10) años y él no es casado atualmente. El es mi hijo. Soy su padre.

Yo, ______________________, certifico he conocido a John Doe por más de diez (10) años y él no es casado atualmente. El es mi hijo. Soy su madre.

Lumpy comments on Certificado de Solteria

Questions for you... Ok, I have some questions. First, where does your sister live? Does she live in an "apostille" state? Some are and some are not. California, Virginia and Maryland are.

Did she write the statement in English or Spanish? My buddy had used the following statements below. Although in both English & Spanish... he had it notorized (like your sister) but, also had it sent to the Office in California to get the apostille seal.

You can find the addresses & fees of the states that use an apostille on the US Embassy website. You send the Apostille the documents (that are already notorized) and they put a special seal on it. You must enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope with your address so they can send the document back to you.

If you are already in Colombia and need this ASAP, I'd say you are up the proverbial creek "w/o a paddle" as they say.

*******************************************************************

I, _______________________, certify that I have known John Doe for over ten (10) years and he is not currently married. He is my son. I am his Father.


I, _______________________, certify that I have known John Doe for over ten (10) years and he is not currently married. He is my son. I am his Mother.


Yo, ______________________, certifico he conocido a John Doe por más de diez (10) años y él no es casado atualmente. El es mi hijo. Soy su padre.

Yo, ______________________, certifico he conocido a John Doe por más de diez (10) años y él no es casado atualmente. El es mi hijo. Soy su madre.


I hope that helps...

Lumpy comments on Wife + Girlfriend = ASSASSINATION

How unfair... She should have shot her man... not the girlfriend!

Lumpy comments on Security Clearance Revokation

**UPDATE** First, let me thank everyone for the input. I appreciate it. Even the comments from "gringoinbogata" were amusing! Especially the part about GS-8's and E-3's! = ) My buddy and I are both contractors (GS-12) working in Iraq... but, we came from corporate America. So, keep in mind that the experience of a GS-8 that worked up thru the civil service system is not the same frame of reference as somebody recruited from the private sector, ok? With that being said...

OK, here is the update from our Security Officer:

There are countries that have an impact! As you know, the Embassy has the listing on travel advisories for foreign countries. There are ALSO countries that have a direct impact on personnel with TS clearances. These countries are mainly the Eastern Bloc countries and terrorist sponsored states like, USSR, Syria, North Korea just to name a few.

"crazy" hit the nail on the head. My buddy informed his Security Officer of his intent to go, has to sit thru a brief but other than that, is free to go.

Thanks agian to everyone! = )

Lumpy comments on Security Clearance Revokation

Mr Hollywood... Part of "figuring it out" is gathering information from many sources and also attempting to get it straight from the proverbial "horse's" mouth. In the post, I said he just heard this... and considering it was 3am (where we work) my first inclination was to post here. An email was already sent to his Security Officer and he expects an answer in the morning. In the interim, I was hoping to hear from some of the folks here on PBH.

Thanks for your input... and don't you fret OK?!?! Don't be scurrrrrred! = )

Lumpy comments on Venezuela or Colombia

No offense but... How can you expect anyone to answer such a generalized question on the nature of a people or country. If you ask about people's mentality or hosiptality level in the US... do you think it is a viable question to answer? Not trying to pull your chain (but, IMHO) I can show you some southern belles that will cook a full course meal for a practical STRANGER to a rude taxi cab driver in NYC. Both are American's but, the metal picture I just painted in your head is in COMPLETE contrast. I'd venture to say you will find the entire spectrum of attitudes & treatment in EITHER country... it would just depend on the by chance encounters on who is walking down the street that particular day for you to assess your opinion.

Again... this is just my opinion.

Lumpy

Lumpy comments on

Hummmm... Maybe the women will start to like this in men... I knew all the 6 packs of cheap beer would eventually make me sexy to somebody! = )

Lumpy comments on Being called "Doctor" in Colombia ?

Hummmm... Don Lumpy doesn't sound to GANGSTA or THUG like! But, "Dr Lumpy" has a nice ring to it. Maybe I'll order personalized plates now! = ) Mr Hollywood... don't tell me that line works?!?!? hahaha

Lumpy comments on HIGH SPEED internet hookup

Satellite Prices!!!! Price is all relative for satellite service I guess. I paid $14 a Meg for mine here in Iraq (Nmarsat). I used it 1 month and had to put a secnd mortgage on my home back in the US to pay the bill. Now, I try to use the Internet at work as much as possible and only use my satellite modem in EXTREME emergencies in my 10 man tent!

I heard prices have gone down a bunch... but, they are still pretty high in some places. Maybe it is MUCH cheaper in Canada! = )

Lumpy comments on Being called "Doctor" in Colombia ?

Wow... that is too funny! My 'real' doctor friends will be pissed to hear that their IT Manager friend is a 'doctor' also! = ) And I didn't have to go thru residency, internships, etc. Thanks for the information.

Lumpy

Lumpy comments on Accomodations in San Andres Island

Info on San Andres I am planning a week vacation/honeymoon to San Andres in November. Can you send me any info on accomodations there?

Thanks,
Lumpy

Lumpy comments on How do you call your honey?

I'm was almost in big TROUBLE! = ) I read the post from Marcastillo (from 9/22) about cute pet names for her husband... and personally learned a valuable lesson! As I am new to learning Espanol (but agressively TRYING to learn) I thought I would test out a cute name for my Colombiana! My mistake was picking GORDITA and not looking it up first. I had a long conversation yesterday and ended with, "Tranquillo mi gordita!" The next 4 seconds of silence seemed like an eternity and then I only heard laughter from my bebe! Can you imaging saying that comment (talk to you later my fatty) to somebody with weight issues?!?!?Thank Goodness she is really slender and she thought I was joking/playing with her... I would have been in the proverbial dawg house - and nobody like that! = ) I guess I will do more research before I start throwing out words in Espnaol! = P

Lumpy

Lumpy comments on eBay to buy Skype?

An Example for Flaleo Hey FLaleo! = ) I can give you an example! I'm a contractor working in Iraq and I call my Carina in Cali, Colombia daily. I used to use calling cards but, it was KILLING me. The connection fees, poor sound quality and dropped calls was frustrating... not to mention extremely expensive. Using Skype is the best thing since sliced bread for somebody in MY situation. I probably wouldn't use it for intra-US calls but for people that don't have access to their own home phones (or pay phones) it is a viable means of cost-effective communication. Oh, and calling Colombia from Iraq (cell to cell) is so expensive... the thought of it brings tears to my eyes!

Just my three cents (inflation)
Nathan

Lumpy comments on novia visa

My 3 Cents... =P Bill,

I am no expert... as a matter of fact, I only joined this forum a few days ago. I have read some postings here that mention some websites that can help you thru the process & even other country's websites that explain the process in a more concise or clear manner -but, I would start by READING as much as you can on this site first and learn from the experiences of people who were in your shoes not too long ago.

I'm probably in a similar position as you... my Colombiana lives in Cali and every day with her not by my side SUCKS. I have decided to travel to Colombia in December to marry her.

I'm sure that some will balk at this statement but, I decided to go thru http://k1k3visas.com to help me with the visa process. Sure you can download the forms and go about it yourself... but, I dont want to chance a minor oversight or problem with a form change to delay me being with the woman of my dreams.

To me... I'd rather pay the money and be able to sleep at nite w/o worrying about if I included everything or did everything in my power to make it work and get her with me.

Just my $.03 (inflation)

Nathan

Lumpy comments on Tutor Needed in Cali

Thanks! Latina Dreaming & Others,

Thank you so much for your help and I also appreciate the assistance from so many of the people posting in this forum. I have learned so much over the past few days from reading all the threads & I look forward to some contiued "good dialouge" among the people here! = )

Nathan

Lumpy comments on Teaching English in Colombia

Tutor Needed in Cali I need a tutor to help my Colombiana learn English. She lives in Cali and I'm hoping to get somebody to work with her once or twice a week. I am going to Cali in December to "tie the knot" so, I need some help QUICKLY! = ) If there is anyone out there interested, please email me at: Nathan_Lumpkin at yahoo.com for your rates.

Thanks,
Nathan