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Levels of politeness in requests or, asking for things.

Note – never does someone walk up to a stranger and say “¿Que hora es?" however it is in all the Travel Spanish Books and yes that is the translation but uh...

Here is what I believe to be the setup and the level of politeness and I will use the MAIN VERB DAR (to give) in every example. Realize that “me gustaría‿ (“I would like‿) construct, and “Querer‿ (in the Conditional and Imp Subjunctive) are used as well when asking for something politely, but that’s for another post…

NOTE*** Realize that PODER adds a layer of politeness to whatever the action verb is in ANY request (Dar in the following examples). Also going conditional on either the main verb (or poder when adding it) bumps up the politeness. Add Ud up front and/or “por favor" to the end of each one of the examples and you’ve bumped them up a notch. Also remember that there is only one conjugated verb in these requests when two verbs are used.

I am assuming you understand what conditional, Imperative etc.. means - use 501 Spanish Verbs.

Requesting a beer using Dar (to give) as the main verb, requesting from one person:

In order of rude to polite:

1. (imperative or just barking an order, rude)
Deme una cerveza. (give me a beer)

1.5 (imperative again but adding Ud)
Deme, usted, una cerveza, por favor. (a bit more polite) - just using this to show you can augment politeness by adding "Usted" AND adding "por favor"

2. (indicative statement, with question infliction)
¿Me da una cerveza? (a step better depending on how it is said – kind of informal even though dar was conjugated for Ud and not Tú)

3. (using poder helper indiciative + action verb which adds a bit of politeness)
¿Me puede dar una cerveza? OR ¿Puede darme.... (totally acceptable)

4. (conditional of dar, cut the poder helper)
¿Me daría una cerveza?(most polite)

5. (using poder helper in the conditional + action verb, in this case dar)
¿Me podría dar una cerveza? OR ¿Podría darme...(super polite)

#5 is not always the best as you may sound snobby and too formal depending on the situation.

Remember, adding Ud where not shown above and/or ending with “por favor"bumps them all up a notch.

Also the above examples are all in the Ud form – to switch to Tu
deme -> dame;
da -> das;
daría -> darías;
podría -> podrías.

You can plug in any action or request verb instead of dar and obviously what you are requesting...(unless all you do is drink beer). The use of Poder and the tenses outlined above will stay the same in this construct.

By rocinante on Jul 30, 2007, 20:52 in Learn Spanish.

Peter (Moderator) says on Jul 30, 2007, 20:56:

6. Me regalas una cervesa? Only used by women, and no, it doesn't mean they won't pay for it, it's just a way of saying it.

Also, generally, it is always better to first introduce yourself with niceties (not in a bar but in daily conversation) like hola, como estas, que mas, perdon senor, etc... before asking a question.

Poor but snappy

rocinante says on Jul 30, 2007, 21:11:

Yes introductions and usual polite nice-ities in or out of the bar are always a must. When meeting friends or strangers, workers and civil servants.

After you get the "Buenas Tardes", come back with just a "Buenas" but for some reason "Buenos días" always gets a "Buenas días" in return. "Qué mas" is pretty informal and really cool and frequently used in the meeting up phase and very Colombian - as is the qué hubo - pronounced "cube".

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

rocinante says on Jul 31, 2007, 05:57:

"6. Me regalas una cervesa?" -peter

Peter is obviously has been an imersion learner at some point and is citing a non textbook example heard in bars every day - using the verb "regalar" - (meaning "To Gift" as in give a gift). But he (or the ladies in the bar) is using it construct #2 above; indicative statement inflicted as a question. It's common to use this informally with friends or with family while making requests - ¿me da/das una servilleta? - you give me a napkin? is the literal translation. You can polite-it-up a bit by tossing in por favor... or using Ud in the Ud form of dar (da) - ¿Usted me da una servilleta? Or you can go to #3...

Important to know is how you can form requests with ANY verb walking it through the above 1-5.

Also note that making requestes doesn't always have to mean you are recieving an object (napkin, beer) you also can us poder verb to ask permission, politely to do something:

¿Podría probarme esta camisa? Could I please try on this shirt?
¿Podría decirme la hora? Could you please tell me the time?
¿Podría cantar más lentamente? Could you please sing more slowly?

I am translating an unwritten "please" in english in the above 3 examples because the Spanish, by construct(poder in the COND verb), HAS that level of politeness already in there without having to say "por favor".

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

Miguel says on Jul 31, 2007, 09:39:

rocinante, eres bien listo en lo que quiere decir "levels of politeness"

Man Tequila says on Jul 31, 2007, 09:52:

You say you can also use the subjunctive. Does this make any difference compared to the conditional? Is "Quisiera una cerveza, porfa" the same as "me daría una cerveza" in terms of politeness? Is one construct used more frequently?

Aunque no me creas/ si me lo propongo/ lograre olvidarte/ porque a fin de cuentas/ no soy tan cobarde./ Y termino todo una de estas tardes/ no sera dificil buscar algún sitio donde refugiarme/ donde nunca mas vuelvas a encontrarme. (Polo Montañez)

rocinante says on Jul 31, 2007, 19:32:

Miguel, gracias. Siempre me gusta ayudar y enseñar los que quieran aprender...

Man T - The Imperfect Subjunctive of Querer is even more polite than #5 (Condicional of Poder verb). It is pretty formal and super polite and not used that often in every day speech. You cannot get any more polite than that. I would translate that as "If you could be so kind as to bring me a beer" - as far as level of politeness - not a direct translation of course. After receiving the beer take a sip and make sure your pinky is sticking out. Ask the chap next to you if he's going to the polo match. In certain environments Quisiera could be viewed as faggy, or affected.

BUT when sweet talking your honey in a fancy place - you can ask her if she wants something to drink saying, "¿quisieras beber algo, mi amor?" That would be cute.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

Peter (Moderator) says on Aug 1, 2007, 06:04:

Good stuff :)

I guess a general rule in Colombia is also to be somewhat *more* polite than you would be in the US or Europe.

Poor but snappy

Miguel says on Aug 1, 2007, 09:39:

Oye Rocinante..."¿quisieras beber algo, mi amor?" That would be cute.

Even better is to say:"¿quisieras beber algo, mi nena, mi vida, mi corazón"

Bueno ustedes, tengo problemas a veces como usar el verbo HABER...

rocinante says on Aug 4, 2007, 22:10:

One book I have states that Haber is the hardest working verb in all of Spanish.

Although learing the language from a technical standpoint is good, it takes time to actually "think" in Spanish. What most do, myself included, is think in English and translate and produce an utterance in Spanish. This is normal.

Since Haber is used in many constructs it's probably better to post what it is you are trying to say and then work to how to get to the Spanish. Or at least be more specific with a Haber question and start a new thread.

A pointer, English uses the helper "Have" much more than Spanish whose speakers more often take the preterite. Also most books usually blow off Haber in it's infinitive - which always translates directly to "having"

Me da gusto haber hablado contigo. - It was great to have spoken to/with you.

"I've just finished reading it" - no need for Haber as there is a common construct for just havng done something in Spanish.

Acabo de leerlo" - I've just finished reading it ---- Acabar de infinitive means to have just finished something. If you learn this forwards from English to the Spanish, when it comes time to say that you have just finished doing something you will use this construct and not Haber. Working backwards from some verbs in their Spanish forms to English may cause you to say the wrong thing. I hope this makes sense.

En pocas palabaras....

Know what you want to say, and learn how to say that in Spanish and know how to modify it to be different and more complex. Take your English thoughts and go with them to Spanish - instead of learning every word/verb in Spanish and trying to fit that backwards into the English.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

rocinante says on Aug 4, 2007, 22:15:

Of course I mispell palabras and I can't edit. Qué idiota, yo.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

Miguel says on Aug 5, 2007, 01:04:

Jejeje, rocinante...no hay problema, hermanito. Somos idiotas y necesitamos the fucking edit function. He habido suplicando el búton...oye Peter...¿me entiendes?

Miguel says on Aug 5, 2007, 06:21:

"Suplicado"...uy.

Lucas Freley says on Aug 11, 2007, 13:10:

La verdad que Rocinante lo explicó muy bien. Solo voy a agregar variantes que se usan en esta parte del continente, como Argentina, Chile y Uruguay.

Si vas a un pub como Kilkenny o Buller, te sentas en la barra y decis: "Me das una guiness". Tal vez la chica te pregunte: "¿Que vas a tomar?" "A ver...una Indian Pale por favor", o "Quiero una Indian Pale". Cuando te la sirve solo decis: "gracias" o "muy amable". Es decir si estas en la duda de tutear o tratar de usted a la empleada del lugar, simplemente decis: "Si, una heineken por favor."

Ahora si te sentas a una mesa con tu novia o amigos, cuando la chica se acerca a atenderte le decis: "Nos traerias el Menu", o "Nos podes traer la Carta". Cuando ya decidiste que vas a tomar entonces decis: "Vamos a pedir una Pitcher de Isenbeck, una pizza grande de Muzarella, para ella un agua mineral...". O solo decis: "Si una 3/4 de quilmes, una grande Napolitana, etc." En este caso no se utiliza el me puede dar o me da, ya que la moza no te va a dar nada. Ella va a traer tu pedido.

Respecto al quisieras. No se usa mucho por aca. Nosotros decimos: "¿Queres tomar algo linda?" "¿Querés ir a dar una vuelta?" Otra variante es: "¿Te gustaria ir a navegar?"

El ser polite o not polite es una cuestion de educacion y en todos lados es igual. Solo hay que moverse tal cual lo harias en tu ciudad.

Si tienen alguna otra duda, con gusto se las evacuaré.

Hoy que estás esplendida y que todo lo iluminas, demos un paseo, vuelta por el Universo (Gustavo Cerati)

Miguel says on Aug 11, 2007, 20:22:

Lucas ¿porqúe a veces pones los acentos y a veces no los pones?

Lucas Freley says on Aug 11, 2007, 20:39:

Buena pregunta Miguel. Es segun (según) lo rapido (rápido) q (que) escribo. Yo creo q (que) la culpa es de usar muchos mensajes de texto. Entonces cuando escribo lo hago como si estuviera en el chat de MSN o mandando un SMS. De pronto me acuerdo q (que) estoy escribiendo en un Blog y pongo los acentos. Solo eso. Eso sí, en mis escritos judiciales siempre pongo los acentos o tildes. Pero en Internet, MSN o SMS generalmente escribo de la manera abreviada. Ya sabes uso la q o la k para decir que. Uso la t para decir te. Y a veces se te pega esa manía (vez acá le pongo tilde) y no te das cuenta.

Hoy que estás esplendida y que todo lo iluminas, demos un paseo, vuelta por el Universo (Gustavo Cerati)

podborski says on Aug 25, 2007, 04:46:

I have to start reading this section more...

Lucas, obviously here in BsAs they seem to use "puede ser" a lot:

puede ser pimienta? Una agua sin gas, puede ser?

Would you also order a beer or food that way? Una cervesa puede ser? El pollo puede ser?

How about the bill? Would you say "Puede ser la cuenta?""

thanks for the help.

podborski says on Aug 25, 2007, 04:55:

another question, the use of 'cobrar', which also seems very common in both argentina and colombia.

I'm not sure I get how it is used, I thought 'cobrar' was like 'charge' in english? But I hear people saying something like this to a bartender/waitress: 'Me cobras por favor?'

I've misunderstood something here. How should you use 'cobrar' in the sense of asking to pay your bill?

Lucas Freley says on Sep 2, 2007, 15:01:

Pod, disculpame, no habia leido tus preguntas.

The Expression "puede ser", is like a way of kindliness act. For example I go to a Bar so the waitress ask: ¿Qué vas a tomar? "Mmm...una Heineken, ¿puede ser?". Is more kindly than only say: "Traeme una cerveza" or "Quiero una cerveza".

About the food, the "puede ser" is more used when you refer to the way you like the food of the Menu. "Puede ser" is Ok. For ex: "Quiero ravioles con salsa filetto. ¿Puede ser?". "Yo voy a pedir pollo al horno, con pure de papas, ok? "Ensalada mixta, de lechuga, tomate y cebolla. ¿Puede ser, está bien?

About "cobrar", is when people collect/receive money. Is very common to say: "¿Me cobrás?" It means, "¿Me cobras la cuenta?" When I say "me cobras" I am expressing that I want to pay. So I pay (pago), and the waiter collect/receive (cobra). To charge, I think that it is about price, not the money.

Hoy que estás esplendida y que todo lo iluminas, demos un paseo, vuelta por el Universo (Gustavo Cerati)

rocinante says on Sep 20, 2007, 20:14:

Common after receiving service at a counter when buying, say comida para llevar (food to go), or at a bar, or at a low key restuarant, when ready to pay is to ask ¿Cuanto le pago? (Ud) or ¿Cuanto te pago? (for Tu/Vos). Asking for the check in a nice restaurant you would say "La cuanta por favor" or "¿Me daria/darias (for Ud/tu-vos) la cuenta?"

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

rocinante says on Sep 20, 2007, 20:26:

That's "La cuenta" not cuanta! - The edit feature might return for us bobos who post before reading?

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

scarby558 says on Oct 24, 2007, 18:10:

helpful :) thanks

travelintom says on Dec 6, 2007, 16:04:

Have I been in error using "Favor de darme/traerme/etc" ?

Que les vaya bien.

Lucas Freley says on Dec 7, 2007, 18:39:

It's depends in which kind of place you are having dinner or lunch as Rocinante said. I think the expression "favor de traerme la cuenta" in a pub or bar is "out".

In a nice restaurant "favor de traerme la cuenta" maybe could be right. But you have to be carefully with the way you pronounce it, no too imperative, but in a kindy polite way. I think "¿Me haria el favor de traerme la cuenta?" or only "¿Me traeria la cuenta por favor?" is a better option.

Hoy que estás esplendida y que todo lo iluminas, demos un paseo, vuelta por el Universo (Gustavo Cerati)

Man Tequila says on Jan 1, 2008, 23:17:

I would like to thank Rocinante for this thread, which I have found extremely helpful in Argentina and Colombia.

rocinante says on Jan 31, 2008, 08:11:

Thanks Mr Tequila. I thought this board would be a bit more active but as long as there is interest I will post.

This thread took a turn to here: http://poorbuthappy.com/learn_spanish/post/he-asked-camply/

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

juli says on Feb 11, 2008, 11:36:

Me regalas una Pilsen, porfa. I say this all the time!

CEO Fajardo´s Fan Club, Medellín, Colombia

Lucas Freley says on Feb 17, 2008, 13:28:

Yo te la regalaria con mucho gusto la proxima que vengas por Buenos Aires ;) Bueno en realidad Pilsen hay en Uruguay. Aca tenemos Quilmes, igual de rica.

Hoy que estás esplendida y que todo lo iluminas, demos un paseo, vuelta por el Universo (Gustavo Cerati)

Juanes says on Mar 28, 2008, 18:20:

entonces,discupla papito, puedes darme una cervezita por favor es las forma mas polite...

thats what i use anyway in colombia or with my friends.

oye marica, digamre una otra cerveza ahorita...

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Juanes/

rocinante says on May 12, 2008, 07:24:

I hear "me regalaste" (preterit) by pushy broads.

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008