joyzers has left 69 comments

joyzers comments on Berlitz in Bogota: experiences good or bad

I'm wondering the same thing Anyone know? This info. would help me as well.

joyzers comments on Changing your work visa, changing your job

work visa It's as simple as going to the Ministerio de Exteriores with the new paperwork from your new employer. I'm assuming you already have a cedula, which makes things easier. Anyways, you need to take the letter of "proporcionalidad" and the letter of "comercio" and your current visa and they will give you a new visa with the new employer on it. It's very simple. I have done this, so let me know if you have any other questions. Are you sure you weren't working at the same Nazi, bilingual school I was working at? However, it wasn't in Chia. The owners must be relatives. Been there, done that, and got out- ran out, as fast as I could

joyzers comments on Looking for English teaching job in Bogota -advice and offers please!

I'm in Medellin with a situation OK. Things didn't go as expected in barranquilla, so I moved on to Medellin. I now need to find a teaching position here in Medellin or in Bogota. I am certified and have my work visa. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm staying with a good friend, but will not stay in Colombia long without a job. I love it in Medellin!!! However, what a situation I am in. Help!!!

joyzers comments on Extra luggage on Avianca (Dell PC)

Mamey I'm glad that you also have had experience with this and Avianca. A table saw. I would love to have seen the look on their faces. I'm sure it must have been classic. I guess they could change their minds about a box. However, if I do a suitcase I would think not. I know they sling things around. I would have to pack it extra careful, huh? Did yours make it without any major problems?

joyzers comments on Extra luggage on Avianca (Dell PC)

Poco Yes, I am planning on bringing the Dell back. I will be there for minimum of a year. It just kills me to have to leave a perfectly good (almost new) computer here when I would love to use it while in Colombia. I just assumed there was no way for me to take it. It sounds to me like the bubble rap in a hard-case suitcase with the PC and some other stuff in it would be a good idea and then carry the flat screen monitor in my laptop case- it will definitely fit. So, do they expect there to be a laptop in your laptop case? I don't know how it goes, I know that they can be pretty anal. I grew up with the whole customs crap while entering in and out of Santo Domingo and Miami. I know that most of the time you don't have all the contents of your suitcase when you retrieve it either. Do you think they could actually steal the Dell out of my suitcase? This is another thing that I am worried about. Can you insure things like that?

joyzers comments on Extra luggage on Avianca (Dell PC)

Thanks, Gator I like the suitcase idea. I think I could actually put my flat screen in my laptop case that I have. Would they consider this an extra bag, since it's actually not a laptop? So, what would you advise- new laptop or check in my existing PC? Also, what do you mean by, "red light"? Also, I checked with Avianca and an extra bag is $80. If I could get my PC through without any problems, I would think that $80 would better than purchasing a laptop for minimum of $500 (very basic laptop, of course).

joyzers comments on Going Away in 3 Weeks.. what is the prettiest place in the caribbean?

DR I grew up in the DR and have yet to see prettier beaches, even in Hawaii. (Of course it's hard to compare, because the beaches are very different from each other.) I prefer the crystal clear water where you can see you feet as you walk. Also, there are plenty of beaches that have coral reefs above the water in somewhat of an inclove where you know that there is no way a shark can get past. It's really cool, especially for those of us that saw JAWS way too many times when we were little and can hear the theme song going through our head when we are are out in the ocean. Good luck!

joyzers comments on one way ticket

Work Visa How about on a work visa? I only bought a one-way ticket. Will I have problems if I have a work visa and don't have a return ticket. I can't purchase a round-ticket after 11 months, so I had no choice. Any suggestions, or should I be fine?

joyzers comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

Teppar Thank you for your comments that you wrote in response to me. I do have some advice for you on whether or not you should go to Colombia. First I must give you some background info. I don't want this to turn into a sob story post, but you may be able to get something out of my story. In a nut shell, I have had many great losses in my life, but none even compare to the loss of not only the man that I loved but his son that I practically raised for four years. With time, it's possible for you to try to recover for the loss of an adult, because you have every emotion in you from anger to confusion to rejection, etc. However, a child is inoccent and it is literally impossible to recover from the loss of a child that you love with every fabric of your being. He was engraved into my heart the first time I saw his smile and the first time he jumped into my arms and I held him. I loved him still, unconditionally, even though he is no longer in my life. His father, my ex, decided to choose my good friend over me and gave up the years that we had together. Huge loss! At the time, he promised me that he would never let anything come between his son and me, because he knew that it would hurt us both too much. However, she was very intimidated by my presence and she convinced him that I should never see his son again. So, in an instant, I lost the man I loved and my little boy who I was reading a bed-time book to one night and the next day he was gone from my life. OUCH! You can't recover from that- it's impossible. The boy I love cried himself to sleep every night because he couldn't understand why I left him. All I can do is pray that one day he will understand that it was not my decision. Well, to end this story, the man that I love is getting married to my friend today- yes, I said TODAY! He will have a new superficial wife and his son will have a new step-mother that does not love him, especially as I love him. Today is one of those "in the valley" days. However, I must get through today and hope that tomorrow will be a new day. Each day brings something new, not always something better, but at least something new. My heart and soul were taken from me that day, and I have never gotten them back. I must have faith that one day I will though. Perspective is very important- you see, in the grand scheme of things, our problems are so minute to the next person who has problems that we can't even fathom being able to live through, and that person knows someone that has problems that they can't imagine going through. It's a cycle. Although, we feel real pain and have real problems, we could always have it so much worse. Everything happens for a reason, I believe, even though I haven't yet figured out the reason for this one.
All of this to lead to Colombia. After the devastation in my life, I tried to open up my heart again to a Colombiano. He tried, but I still had some major healing to do. I fell in love with his culture and with the Colombian people, as you have with your ex-fiance's. He has returned to Bogota, due to his career and we have both lived our lives (read my post about pregnancy and Colombianos and you can read about what is happening to him. Anyways, when I was offered a position in Barranquilla, I knew that Colombia was calling me and that I can't go for anyone else but for myself. I leave for Barranquilla in less than a month (WOW!), and I will be there for a year. I have yet to even make plans to see the Colombiano that I dated, because this is not about him- for once, it's about ME. I need to start to take care of myself and leave those that expect me to take care of by themselves for awhile. This will be the first time I am going to do something for only me, with no excuses and no regrets. I am not running away from my problems here, (even though I don't need to see the newlyweds flaunt themselves in front of me), but I am running towards something, new experiences and a new life with wonderful culture and wonderful Colombian people. How could I lose? How can YOU lose? My advice would to go find yourself, go explore Colombia and by all means don't even go near the city that your ex-fiance lives in- Colombia, as you know, is a huge country, it's not like you're going to run into him. You don't want to always wish you had, do you? Good luck in your search for happiness and finding yourself again. The only way to do it is to get up and decide that I can't go on like this anymore, I have to change my life and go for it! GOOD LUCK!

joyzers comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

yes, platano I see your point. I never bring God into a discussion, especially not in a post. However, Teppar and I seem to share the same struggles and beliefs on how WE deal with grief. (That is why I headed my comment to Teppar) My faith is what I have. I'm sure you have faith just the same as me, we just don't share the exact same philosphy or belief system. I'm sure you would agree that this is what makes us individuals. It's what brings ME comfort, and I don't ever pretend that the next person should think how I do. You are bringing up a huge theological issue of "why do bad things always happen to good people" mixed in with the false theory of "if I pray harder, a good thing will happen." Hence, the person that has something bad happen to them must not have prayed hard enough. This one really pisses me off, but it's commonly quoted, right? These theological things will put me in an mental institution if I truly try to find all of the answers. This is why I personally, say that MY faith is the only thing I (me personally) have. Each person has to find what comforts them. I will never argue with a person that might feel differently, and I always hope that even though there may be many, many people that would disagree with my words that they would at least respect the way that I feel and believe. Would you agree?

joyzers comments on my story: girl meets colombian boy...girl & boy fall in love...girl & boy get engaged...boy walks out...

Are you my clone? Reading your post has been truly astounding for me to realize that there is someone else out there like me that must think the exact same way that I do. It is truly frightening!! I have read your responses and your disappointments and losing of faith and I swear it is like I am reading my own script of everything precisely that has come out of my mouth in the past couple of years through extreme heartache and events, but it's coming from someone else's mind and onto my computer screen. I thought I was the only one that had these fears and doubts and had to try every day just to make it one more day and find something good in that day. I now know that another girl that I don't even know has the same thoughts, hopes, and fears. If you're anything like me, you can't see the end of the tunnel- it's literally impossible. However, I hang onto whatever hope and faith that I have left and I hold on tight, because I have had EVERYTHING taken away from me, but NOBODY can take my faith away from me. I saw it slipping many times, but I held on tighter- even though I was holding onto a mere thread.
It's so much easier to give advice than it is to take it. I can't tell you what you need to do, especially since I need to be telling myself the same thing. You are my clone in the fact that I have a huge heart and always want to see those around me content and happy, (just read my last post- it's pretty clear). However, this is my pleasure in life. The true problem, however, is that I don't ever want to burden anyone else with my problems- so I completely crawl in a whole and hide away from the world; it's not good. I pray that there will be something that will come your way that will make all of this make sense and worthwhile, and that you will be able to restore your faith in life, humanity, and in love. I daily pray the same things for myself. I do realize though that I have a mental block when it comes to myself and it is literally impossible for me to see "it". That is when I realize that God is bigger than me and that He can make it happen, and He can bring me something that will be far more than my wildest dreams. Just maybe a miracle can happen. I have to believe this, or it's all over for me. If I don't have my faith, at the end of the day, I have nothing. That's what keeps me going, even when I have doubted, and sometimes still doubt, the very fabric of life and everything in it. Hope is a big word, and I have lost it many times, but my faith takes my lost hope that is somewhere buried in the bottom of the valley and it fights hards to put it back up onto the hilltop again. That's life- hills and valleys. I hope you can make your way out of the valley and stand up on that hilltop again. Hang in there, and take it one day at a time!

joyzers comments on How do Colombianos dealing pregnancy?

Thanks! It's very good to hear an outside opinion on this. After the shock has now subsided I have been thinking more and more on this same mindset. He did this. He knew what he was doing, and now he needs to deal with what he has done and with what he is continuing to do. I was lying in bed last night thinking, you know right now they are in bed together as man and wife and nobody has made him sleep in that bed- he is there willingly. I am so glad that even in my utter shock of too much info. all at once that I never gave him any advice (especially you poor thing advice). I told him that I needed to think about how to respond after I thought about it for awhile. The advice given on this post is what my gut has been telling me, in and out of the confusion that is. I like the satement that love is a verb, not a noun. He needs to be more than just a father to be, but needs to totally look at his expecting wife with rose-colored glasses. I do believe that the problem is that he was trying to be so unbelievably calm about the whole thing for the first month that he refused to allow himself to digest what was happening, and then WHAM- all of a sudden it hit him. The first month he was even pretending that he was thrilled about everything. I thought, "Wow!" maybe everything will work out just fine. However, so much change in so little time will make you lose your balance. I think that after the "deer in the headlights" feeling goes away that he will be just fine and will not come to me freaking out anymore. I never tell him what he wants to hear, only what he needs to hear (as he does in return). It hurts the other at the time, but we are both always grateful for it later (that's what friends are for). Anyways, I will definitely remind him that he did this and he needs to put a positive spin on it. I just hope that he doesn't do what Mr. Hollywood said, which is what I totally thought of, that is having known enough Colombian men (no offense meant), which is that he will be in the marriage for the child and do whatever he wants on the side. However, that's where I go back to- this isn't happening to me, it's happening to him and her and THEY will have to deal with that within their marriage, not my problem. If he continues to "need" me I will step back. Until recently (with this situation)that has not been the case though. So, we'll see if it continues or if things will soon go back to normal. I'll have to make that judgment call as time goes on. Thank you so much for the great opinions, I actually feel better about my role in all of this. drama.

joyzers comments on Getting together in BARRANQUILLA

Memories! Ay yes, good memories of no s's and using cono in every sentence. I have had to adapt a bit, since I am predominately surrounded by Colombians now (in the US though), and I can assure you that they would collectively eat me alive. They tease me and say, "Mira, chica/ dominicana!"

joyzers comments on How do Colombianos dealing pregnancy?

OUCH!! I guess that just about summed up what you feel about this ever happening to you, Elmo. You better watch out, you do say that you have a young wife. Things happen, you know!? However, if you tried the sledgehammer approach first, I'm sure you could be absolutely guaranteed (or your money back) that you would never have to worry about your wife having an un-wanted pregnancy, would you? It would be a new way of birth control- prevention.

joyzers comments on How do Colombianos dealing pregnancy?

Good point. You know sometimes these things kind of do come to your mind. I have kind of thought, wait a minute... of course you're unhappy. You didn't plan it this way, and you weren't ready to be tied down. I am in total shock that he is married and about swallowed my tongue when he said, "mi esposa", I just never thought the day would come when a woman would tie him down. I wasn't going to try, either, to be that woman. So, there is one side of me that thinks, you had to have been thinking something when you repeated the vows in front of the judge, right? You need to learn to find all of the good things about her that made you at least want to date her and sleep with her and make this marriage work- try to love her. Then, there's that other side of me (the female) that says that I wouldn't want someone making himself love me. How terrible! I just feel his pain, because I know that he wants to fix what he has royally screwed up (getting her pregnant), but sometimes I believe that people screw up things even worse trying to fix them. I'm sorry that I'm going on and on about this, but as I read in another post, it's much easier to vent and get anonymous advice from this post (especially since you can't share certain info. with people you know). I guess I'm just the kind of person that is extremely loyal and if someone I care about is hurting, then I hurt too. He doesn't expect me to deal with his problem, he is just venting the same to me as I am on this post, beause he knows that I care enough to listen. But, in the end, that always bites me. I am always more concerned about other's problems than I am about my own. That is a major fault of mine.

joyzers comments on How do Colombianos dealing pregnancy?

Yeah, I know! I totally screwed up the topic (going too fast)and when I noticed it was too late to to back and edit it. Trust me, I tried. My anal retentive side is screaming out, "it's not right!" But, I will have to try to restrain my anal retentiveness just this time, even though it's hard. I agree with you as well, Platano. However, I guess this is not an option that she has considered, I know that this is probably what he wanted, however.

joyzers comments on How do Colombianos dealing pregnancy?

I'm sure the first impression of a person reading this story is that I have some ideas of hanging on to him. That's not the case. I have moved on with my life, completely. I guess until now he has never given me a reason to cut him off. We have just maintained in contact, not to an unhealthy point though. I have had a very serious relationship since him and was able to completely overcome any romantic feelings for him. However, sometimes you don't cut off a person because they mean something to you in your life and you realize that there are very few people you can trust and who actually know you that well. Well, we both realized a long time ago that we will never be together again and that we still care about each other regardless. So, I'm mainly concerned about this because I think that he is making some serious mistakes, due to being in total shock or complete denial thinking everything will be OK. He is extremely mature is 33 yrs. old, a professional, and very grounded. This is totally out of character for him. You are right though, this is his problem- not mine. If it was mine, I would have handled it completely different. Remember, it takes two people to get pregnant, not one, and if two people are having sex than there is the possibility of it. I do agree that it is very irresponsible of him and of her. All I can think to say is, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I guess the answer would have to be, he wasn't!!

joyzers comments on Getting together in BARRANQUILLA

Gringa, actually. So, you don't run into Americans much? Would you say that the majority of Colombians in Barranquilla are Costenos, or is there any diversity, due to the universities that are there? I, of course, always get mixed messages about Barranquilla. Do you prefer to live there than another major city, like Cali, Bogota, or Medellin? Or are you like me- that's where the job is taking me? I don't get to hear a gringo's opinion of Barranquilla much, only the opinions of of the Colombians that I am surrounded with in the US, which none of them live in Barranquilla (most are in Bogota, Medellin, or in Cali). What would you say it is like for a Gringa in Barranquilla? I have asked this question on a post before, but never to someone that actually lives in Barranquilla. I don't stand out looking American and I grew up in the Dominican Republic, so my Spanish has a Domincan accent. What do you think life will be like for me there, or is that kind of a huge question?

joyzers comments on Getting together in BARRANQUILLA

I'll be there in June I'll be there for a year. Do you like it there?

joyzers comments on How do Colombianos dealing pregnancy?

Yeah, I remember it! Well, they definitely figured out how to "get together" and he didn't need my advice then, did he?

joyzers comments on Colombian women have a big heart but they must become more aware

Very interesting! I find this story so interesting, because I have been dealing with the same sort of problem with a very close Colombiano friend of mine

joyzers comments on Name on visa different from name on her passport

I had the same problem. I was told that they needed to match up. However, I am coming from the US to Colombia, instead of vice-versa. So, I don't know if it's different. But, I was advised to get my name on my passport changed, which in the US takes about 6 weeks. I was told they had to be the same (at least on a work visa they do). So, the easiest thing was for me to change my passport. You might want to look into how long that process will take. If not, you may be able to get by on constantly showing certified documentation of name change. I did ask if I could do that upon entering, and they told me that they needed to match up, and if I didn't change my passport that I would need to use my former name on my visa (which I didn't want to do). Like I said, this is vice-versa, but I would definitely look into the process of the passport name change. It has to be done eventually, right?

joyzers comments on Open tickets to Barranquilla

Two tickets or one? When I say buy two tickets, I don't mean at the same time. I mean I would make the first ticket to return in maybe Novemember, buy another one close to the date in November to return back to Colombia and come back to the US again for my final return. This way I get to make one visit in my year stay back to see my family. I do have a visa, a year work visa. Does anyone know if that restricts me at all? I will definitely look into Avianca's no restrictions ticket.

joyzers comments on Open tickets to Barranquilla

Work visa? Would it be easier for me to just buy two tickets at a cheap price (one now and return to visit family) and one when I return from vacation until when I return home? I'm thinking it may end up being the same price to buy two cheap tickets than to buy an expensive open ticket. Am I able to come and go freely on a work visa? I'm assuming so. If I have a work visa for a year that doesn't mean that I won't be able to come and go within that year does it?

joyzers comments on How To Get Along in Colombia!

Por favor! Don't even get me started on the welfare system. That's a whole other discussion, much worse than our problem with illegal immigrants.

joyzers comments on How To Get Along in Colombia!

Elmo You couldn't have said it better, and I'm in total agreement. Have you seen the movie, "A Day Without A Mexican"? It's completely about this subject, and I believe will definitely leave most people thinking differently about things at the end of the movie. You summed the entire history of the US up in a couple paragraphs. We think we are superior, but we don't realize that we got here by other people's willingness to bust their ass to make our privileged lives cushier. Do they ever complain, NO. Do we, YES. Sad, but true. That shows you that all of the possessions and astronomical amount of greed that us gringos have. We have everything, and we complain about all things. These Mexicans (which by the way every Hispnanic is considered Paco the Mexican- I hate that!), don't have as much, on average, as we do. They always are happy and laughing and enjoy life. I work with a high percentage of Mexicans that can't read or write and work their asses of every single day of their lives. I have never heard one complaint come out of their mouths about the pay or the terrible treatment that we gringos give them with our superiority complex. Like I said, check out that movie, I enjoyed it.

joyzers comments on Has anyone brought their dog from the US to Colombia?

Little pieces!? Actually, I think I'll pass on the whole division into labrador pieces. If only she could squeeze into one of those little rat dog carrying cases like you see with the celebreties. She eats those kinds of dogs for a midnight snack though. Flying her out of Miami during a cooler time was pretty much the idea that I had, being that Miami will definitely be over 85 degrees F when I leave in June. What is it like arriving into Colombia into the Barranquilla airport for a pet? I'm thinking she would also have to arrive very late or early in the morning, hoping that it would once again be under 85 degrees. What owners do for their pets! This is why I ask if this is just a disaster waiting to happen. As most owners that are attached to their dogs, I want her to be with me- I'm selfish, but I also don't want her to suffer or for something to go wrong.

joyzers comments on Has anyone brought their dog from the US to Colombia?

I'm not looking into prices. I looked at the former posts and there is not much discussion other than prices and general info. that I can find on the internet.

joyzers comments on Colombiano, let's hear your opinion on el amor...

Bad stereotype I am none of these things. Now I haven't grown up in the US my whole life, so I have had influences of another culture, but I am American and none of these things. I myself don't like being around girls that behave this way. I have heard over and over of how the gringas that come to Colombia are all viewed as "easy" and superficial. It's possible that the gringas coming to visit are this way because they are looking for one thing, their "latin lover". Therefore, they are there for the purpose of being loose with the Colombianos. They are looking for a release from the other stereotype of the average, boring close-minded gringo). Therefore, even though that may be represented as the average gringa, that's not at all the case. Now, I'm just speaking for myself. I believe that happiness can not be found through material possessions nor through another human being. Happiness can only come from within. Once they have their share of what someone said "bling, bling" and their "latin lover" that they were searching for, they will still find themselves searching for more and more because it never satisfied them and made them happy. Hence the view of them always being out for something- they are. They just don't realize that they're out for the wrong things and that they'll never find happiness through them. That's my gringa psychology for the day. Does anyone agree, or is this just my thinking alone?

joyzers comments on Unlocked cell phones for Comcel and Ola

Motorola I am planning on taking my Cingular Motorola phone and want to know how to get it completely unlocked. I have asked this before on a previous post, but didn't seem to get any clear answers. Most of the websites given to me to use were UK websites. Any advice? I would like to not have to buy another phone, since mine is just fine for me. Well?

joyzers comments on Clothes Shopping in Bogota

I didn't think that you were saying that, Kat1. Someone stated that a 10/12 was a larger woman, I don't know who it was. Anyways, I'm 5/4 and a 8 or 10 (US sizes), so I hope I won't have a problem while I'm living there and shopping. I guess we'll see. Do you think I should get my basics in the US before I leave, like pants and stuff, or don't worry about it. Which do you ladies prefer, shopping in the US for clothing or shopping in Colombia? It definitely makes a difference when you are not a size 4, and probably never will be, and don't plan on squeezing into a size 4 either, like I've seen many women do that shouldn't be doing it.

joyzers comments on Clothes Shopping in Bogota

Kat-1 You said, "The thing is in Colombia women are 10/12 Usa 0r 12/14 Uk that is average size there are no that much of skinny women in Colombia so they should cater more for those sizes."

So, where are these women buying their clothes from then? Are they just making themselves fit into size 8 clothes when they are really size 10/12? Explain this one to me. Also, since when do people consider a size 10/12 woman a "big woman"? (At least that seems to be the comments from this post.) Is this what it is considered in Colombia- a big or fat woman?

joyzers comments on Clothes Shopping in Bogota

Average size? So here's a question- What is the average size for a woman in Colombia? Would you say that Colombian women are on an average much smaller than North American women? I know that's probably an easy question to answer (I'm assuming the answer is definitely "yes"). Do gringas find it hard to adjust to the clothing sizes, if they aren't a size 4 that is, or is it just the same as shopping in the U.S? I have heard that Colombia has georgious clothing and that it is a shopper's dream. True?

joyzers comments on Barranquilla to Cartegena

In a car? How about in a car? Is it safe? Or should travel from Barranquilla to Cartagena or Barranquilla to Santa Marta only be done in a bus? Any advise?

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Very well stated, utopiacowboy! "I agree that you're ready but I think you're ready for something else not marriage."

The whole point is, at 21 you "think" that this is what you want, but you don't have enough life experiences to know what you want or even to make the best decision. That's just a fact. It doesn't matter how mature you are, you just don't know at the time how your views will totally change, along with your desires and outlook on sex, women, dating, etc. You only "think" that you are ready. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to harp on this, but I totally cringe when I hear a 21 year old saying that they want to get married, especially a male (men are more imateur at 21 than females). What is it that you think you are going to fill in your life with marriage? Does anyone else think the same way as utopiacowboy and myself, or is this just an interference into some 21 yr. old's dreams?

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Mr. Nice Guy, RUN!!!! Take it for me and probably everyone else on this post. I believe that any person over 25 would completely agree that your likes and dislikes and opinions on life and the world in general greatly change after 25, and especially at 30. Why would you consider doing this to yourself willingly? Enjoy and explore life a little first. Even though I'm not a parent, I think that every parent should strongly encourage their child to wait until at least after 25 to get married, as you don't quite know who you are yet and what you want. This would probably cut down on the divorce rate. OK. that's my soapbox for the day

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Well...? I guess if that's the way you want to look at it. I, as previously stated, have known MANY women that are doing just the same thing. However, that's in the US. In my area, an Army post area, the women are far more cheating on the men that vice versa. However, I am searching for info. on the Colombianos, so I know what to expect. I don't think all men are jerks, but you can see it that way if you want. Like someone pointed out, these men are cheating with someone, and I do believe that most of the time these women know that the men are married and they don't care. You know what they say about men that are wearing a wedding ring, they get hit on 10X more than before they wore their ring (at least it's this way in the US). You wouldn't believe the women that I know and all of the affairs they have had, and their husbands have no idea.

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Thanks, Elmo! WOW! Now that's a woman to not be messed with. I must say, your story was hularious; I actually laughed out loud. What a scene! Maybe the attitude of the women who will not stand up for themselves contributes to this problem. Who knows? I just know that if I plan on not being a nun while I'm living in Colombia, I guess I better find some way of sorting the cheaters from the faithful and also the "ugly ducklings", as you say, from the very-good looking Colombian men (I have seen MANY!). It's possible that if every man knows that he will end up with enchilada on his head that he will not risk it. I will say that I will forever remember the story that you told and will get some more laughs about it later on. Thanks, again, for your input.

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Very well said! First of all, I like that you state that you are faithful to your wife, and most of all you state, "my beautiful wife". Many women lack husbands that will continue through the years to refer to them as their beautiful wife, which is such a shame. Secondly, I believe that your point about having more opportunities was perfectly stated. I've always believed that with the perfect opportunity, almost every warm-blooded male would jump at the offer. It's just that not all men have had it handed to them on a silver platter for them to be able to choose whether they want it or not. However, if the option stared them in the face, I believe that most of them would partake and come back for seconds. That's just my opinion- however, it could be totally wrong. I don't know, I'm not a man, and like I said I have no idea what is going through their minds. I believe the answer to that one would usually be, NOTHING!

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Wait a minute... Utopiacowboy- aren't you a gringo? I guess that's a good example of my comment that this is a philosophy of both Colombianos and gringos.

joyzers comments on What about the men?

OK. Manana entonces. I hope you have some good insight for all the women out there that have dealt with this, not just me.

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Elmo, give me your insight! You say, "guys make mistakes". Well, are the women as forgiven when they make the same mistakes? It is an amazing double standard. I do believe that the economic reasons are the same in the history of our parent's generation and especially our grandparent's generation- it was accepted because there were no other solutions, the women had no other options. Now they do. I just don't get it, it's as if sexually transmitted diseases don't even exist. Imagine all the women that go to the doctor and find out that they have an STD and they have been faithful, which means their spouse has not. What a way to find out that your man has not been faithful. Besides loyalty and general respect for your spouse, you would think that there would be concern for their well-being as far as their health. I think we all know that many men are not the most careful when it comes to protection- living in the moment and all. Then, due to them "living in the moment" they bring some STD home to their spouse. Times have changed and I would think that the extra-curricular activities would lessen with the times, but it doesn't seem to have happened. I know men don't like to be cheated on. Correct? Elmo, give me some insight. Explain to me what is going on in the man's mind at the moment, are there no feelings of betrayal for the spouse that they claim to love? Are the men able to completely separate their loyalty to their wife from sex and not even think about it? I just don't understand how it works. Don't get me wrong, it happens here (in the US) I believe just as much, but it's just not discussed as openly. Therefore, the women never are able to figure out what is really going on in their heads when they are "making mistakes" such as these. I must state, not only men cheat- I know plenty of women that are worse than the men, but it is more common among men (Colombian and North American). Elmo, and other men, let me in on your insight, as this has been puzzling me for quite sometime now.

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Gringas vs. Colombianas Also, do you think that gringas, on an average, are less forgiving when it comes to infidelity than Colombian women are, or is this a bad generalization that has no warrant. I see Colombian women turn their head all the time and ignore what is so evidently in front of them. I watch their men cheat time after time, and it seems like the women are OK as long as they provide for their family and come home to them at night. I know American women, however, that could be found guilty of the same thing. So, this poses the question of cultures- is it more predominately accepted within the culture and the mindset of the Colombianas as it is in the culture and mindset of the gringas? (Or is this all just a stereotype that has been perpetuated by the men that want their wives/novias to accept it, whether they do or not?)

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Mistakes? When you say "mistakes" are you referring to the mistakes of infidelity? Are they always forgiven of their mistakes by Colombian women? I have already faced this challenge and I seem to have a hard time forgiving those kinds of mistakes, which is what puzzles me about a respectable, non-"easy" gringa relating to Colombian men and at the same time not being willing to accept infidelity. Do you think that the majority of Colombianos want you to accept the possiblity of a "mistake" happening, and just be able to forgive and forget when it does?

joyzers comments on What about the men?

Generalizations I hate the generalize, as many could generalize American men as well. However, all the Colombian men I know (or have even dated) are not faithful. Do you think that a "young thin woman" is just someone to have a good time with and play around with for awhile? Is it common for a Colombiano to settle down with a Colombiana, but to play around with a young gringa? We all know that they have the ability to use beautiful words, whether they mean them or not. Do they see us the same way as they would a Colombiana(a woman to be respected and taken seriously, not just out for a fling that is)?

joyzers comments on La Oracion del Viernes

What about the men? OK. I'm sure that we have all noticed that 95% of the posts are very male-oriented- I'm not complaining, just making an observation. I say this because there is always discussion about how georgious the Colombianas are. I whole-heartedly agree, as I have many Colombiana friends that are beautiful and very sweet. However, that doesn't help the single (straight) women out there much, does it??? I know more Colombian men than I could even count, however, all these men are all on US soil, which is out of their comfort zone or regular patterns. Girls- Help me out here. What about the Colombianos on their own turf? What are your opinions girls? Especially the opinions of the gringas living in Colombia (as I will be very soon). Well......

joyzers comments on Cali or Baranquilla?

The beach Also, is the beach nice, and how close is the beach from the nice parts of town? Does anyone have any pictures they have posted of the beach? I have to ask all of these questions because you can find out any information you want on the internet about Cali, but all you get about Barranquilla is information about the Carnival, rather than the every day living situation. So, I seem lost in comparison.

joyzers comments on Cali or Baranquilla?

Living/ Accomodations So, are there decent accomodations in Barranquilla, for a decent price? For example, to live in the "better part of town", as you say you live in, what kind of accomodations are there for a single woman who will be staying for only one year, and what kind of price should I be looking at? I know that this is a broad question, but I'm just looking for the average situation.

joyzers comments on Cali or Baranquilla?

So, roadrunner. Do you like it there? Do you mind PM and telling me what it is that you do in Baranquilla? Can you tell me more from a Gringa's perspective?

joyzers comments on Cali or Baranquilla?

Gringas Also, how are "gringas" treated in Baranquilla? I am fluent in Spanish, so there will be no language barrier (however, I'm sure my Dominican Spanish accent will stick out like a soar thumb). I do not look particularly American, as I have brown hair, brown eyes, and tan olive skin, but that's exactly what I am. How would someone like me be seen around there?