johnboy77 has left 71 comments

johnboy77 comments on Guys -- Watch your Scalps

I doubt any of these short paisas can even see the top of my head, let alone reach it to scalp it.

And all the old short guys don't have much hair.

I guess this is a warning to any short young gringo with a full head of hair.

johnboy77 comments on www.NotCanada.com

I have no respect for those who some how think they were tricked into coming to Canada. The official CIC (Customs and Immigration Canada) has a very detailed website. If you click on "Immigrate to Canada", the first link is "A Newcomer’s Introduction to Canada"

This is what you will see if you look under "Finding a job in Canada":


Canadians may change jobs and careers several times. This is often a personal choice. Sometimes people must change jobs because the economy changes. For these, and other reasons, getting a job is not easy. Many people are looking for work.

Newcomers to Canada rarely enter the job market quickly and often must start with jobs below the skill level they worked at in their home country. Once they have Canadian job experience and their ability in English or French improves, so do their job prospects.

Even if you have many years of experience, you do not automatically have the right to practise your trade or profession in Canada. In most cases, you will need to have your credentials assessed to see whether you need more training, education or Canadian work experience before being qualified to practise. You may wish to get your credentials evaluated before you leave for Canada. The following organizations can tell you how to get your credentials assessed:

In Canada, about 20 percent of jobs are regulated by the government to protect public health and safety. For example, nurses, doctors, engineers, teachers and electricians all work in regulated professions. People who want to work in regulated jobs need to get a licence from the regulatory body in the province in which they live. If you want to know more about how to enter a particular profession or trade in a particular province, you should contact the provincial regulatory body for that job. The professions are self-regulating and they administer the provincial laws that apply to their profession. Rules for entering professions also differ from province to province. (For more information, visit www.cicic.ca.)

TIP
Regulated occupations in Canada usually require many years of education, training and practical experience, and the successful completion of a technical examination. Technical examinations to enter a trade or profession can be very expensive.


How can the Canada make it any more clear to immigrants that things will not be a bed of roses? It even tells them in this guide that its colder than a witches tit in the winter, that we have high taxes, and you should try to go somewhere other than Toronto.

Canada is different than the USA, but it is also similar. There are winners and losers.... its a free market, sink or swim society where some people will much more successful than others. If life is tough (AND CANADIAN IMMIGRATION TOLD YOU SO IN THE NEWCOMERS GUIDE) some people just get through it, while others will cry and complain.

It is tough getting a job in Canada. It took me 2.5 months after getting my University Degree in Engineering to find an engineering job. A lot of grads were complaining "everyone wants experience... how do you get experience if they won't give you a job..." Boo-hoo. Just try harder. We all ended up getting jobs, just some people had to cry about how unfair it was. Tough beans as my Mom used to say.

SOme people think that they will come to Canada and strike it rich, that all things will be Rosey. WHY? Immigration Canada is telling you in simple terms, that life will be very difficult for you, especially in the short term.

johnboy77 comments on www.NotCanada.com

My message to immigrants who come to Canada, and spend more time bitching that no one is putting a silver spoon in their mouth:

1. Shut up, put on a hard hat, and go to work. Life's tuff. Canada is a free market society, where many many many people are highly educated. Its like the US with a bit less pay and a bit more taxes, but you still have to shut the fuck up and go find yourself a job.

If you don't like, go home.

Alberta is boom and bust, but its looking like BOOM for quite awhile. During the last busts, the oil sands were nothing but a future project... they did not produce profit. The extraction cost was too high. Now oil sells for about triple, and the extraction cost has gone down (not to mention the infastructure is now mainstream). Now About 30% of Canada's oil comes from the Fort Mac Oil Sands, and it represents an oil reserve second only to Saudi Arabia.

Also, when was the last time, an American State, Canadian province, or a Colombiano Departamento decided to give 1.6 billion back to its residents? While the US is running a deficit, Canada is pulling in a tax surplus. Alberta, with its wopping 4 million people (and lowest provincial tax in Canada) pulled in a 6.8 billion dollar surplus. They had so much money, they didn't know what to do with it, so they are just giving a lot of back, and are actually starting a trust fund (SAVING!!!)

Also, I know of immigrants who were smart, didn't go to Toronto, and are actually making a good go of it in Canada. Their the ones who don't have time to bitch, and make retarded websites. Several of my bosses throughout my life were immigrants from God only knows where, not to mention half my University professors were right off the boat from Egypt. Instead of makeing a stupid website, they shut the fuck up and got a job.

My 2 Canadian cents.

johnboy77 comments on Medellin for 4 days - what to wear?

caslug... so that was you I saw today walking down Ave El Poblado! LOL!

Even though I try to blend in more (because I hate people staring at me like I just flew in from Mars) I can't help but go out the odd time with shorts, sandels, and a Toronto Maple Leafs shirt on, speaking English as loud as possible.

Honestly, not a day goes by when I don't see a gringo (American, Canadian, or European).

In El Poblado, people really aren't surprised to see gringos anymore. I just paid my EPM bill at the Exito, and bought a couple beers... the bag boy tried to speak English with me, and the people in the Pago Servicio Público line didn't stare at me at all.

But, if you go on the Metro, people 4cm away from you will stare at you like you had lava pouring out of your eyeballs.

Honestly, I don't think its anymore of a risk being a gringo in Medellin than being anyone else, and I know a lot of Gringos, and Colombians who feel the same way. Colombia is a risky place for everyone.

johnboy77 comments on Andeas Escobar's Murderer goes Free After 10 Years in Prison

Rubiazo and COLOMBICHE,

I am not trying to say Canadas legal system isn't without flaws... I know perfectly well. I was a grade 10 student at Lakeport Secondary School in St. Catharines, when K.French was kidnapped. Her school, Holey Cross, was directly beside mine (hers was Catholic, mine public) and I walked home that day down Linwell Ave, the very street she got kidnapped on (she got kidnapped between to Churches, of all places). As it turned out, I was half an hour ahead of her.

But, you are wrong on some points.

In Canada, they do not HAVE to let you out after 25 years. Paula Bernardo got the maximum penalty, 25 years, but has been named a "dangerous offender". Although it is possible a judge can let him out after 25 years, it is very unlikely, because after being named a "dangerous offender" they can keep you locked up until you die. They will never let him out, especially after how badly the POLICE (not the justice system) botched the Homolka case.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerous_Offender:

In the Canadian legal system, the Dangerous Offender designation allows the courts to impose an indefinite sentence on a convicted person, regardless of whether the crime carries a life sentence or not. The purpose of the legislation is to detain offenders who are deemed too dangerous to be released into society (e.g. sexual predators) but whose sentences would not necessarily keep them incarcerated under other legislation, such as the Correctional and Conditional Release Act. Under 761(1) of the Criminal Code, the National Parole Board of Canada is required to review the case of an offender with a Dangerous Offender label after seven years, and parole may be granted as circumstances warrant, but the offender would remain under supervision indefinitely. According to Corrections Canada, on average 24 dangerous offenders are admitted to the Canadian prison system each year. Paul Bernardo is perhaps Canada's best known Dangerous Offender, yet it is unlikely he would ever have been released even without this designation, since he received life sentences for first degree murder.

Also, Karla Homolka was never convicted of 1st degree murder. She is serving the correct sentence for what she was convicted of. It is the POLICE who totally f*cked this one up, because if they had of done their jobs properly (like, finding the video tape in their house in Port Dalhousie of both Paul and Karla rapping Kristen French and Leslie Mahafy) they would have never given her the plea bargin...

So while David Milgrath got 20 years for something he didn't do, Homolka gets 12 years for triple rape and murder... but its the fault of the police, not the justice system.

johnboy77 comments on Medellin for 4 days - what to wear?

Yes, I'm as Gringo as they get, blondish hair, blue eyes, and over 6 feet tall.

I got starred at in Medellín when I first arrived here, and I thought it was because of my skin. It wasn't, I was wearing shorts and sandles. Paisas are generally light skinned, and its not rare to see someone with very European features, including blond hair and blue eyes.

Typicall dress in Medellin is pants (clean, no rips, preferably ironed), shoes (no sneakers), and a button down shirt (ironed). They also rarely go unshaven. You may not be allowed in some places with shorts on. I went to the DAS once with shorts on and they would not let me in (although, on other occasions, I have seen people with shorts in the DAS office)

Since I started dressing like everyone else, no one looks at me anymore, and I get people stopping to ask me directions (in Spanish) and are a little shocked when I give them the "no intiendo mucho español". They then smile and say goodbye.

I honestly beleive foriegners stand out because of the way they dress (Medellin has a lot of Gringos these days, and you can spot them with the white t-shirt, shorts, tennis shoes with white socks, and the 5 o-clock shadow)

johnboy77 comments on Misc Jokes

My Father's actual comment about Canada allowing Gay Marriages (I honestly never laughed so hard in my life):

"Sure, why not, why the hell should they be allowed to be happy their whole lives...letting them get married is a great idea, this way they won't be so godammed happy on their gay parades."

OK, a lot of the following are in real bad taste... too bad. They make me laugh every time. I didn't make any of them up either, so I can't be held responsible:

*************

What's the difference between and Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?

One less drunken abnoxious asshole.

*************

Why are there so few Mexicans in the Olympics?

If they can run, jump, or swim, they already live in the USA.

*************

What's the difference between a canoe, and a Canadian?

Canoes tip sometimes.

*************

Why are there no Indians on Star Trek?

Well, I guess they won't work in the future either.

What do you get when you put 36 Indian women around a campfire?

One full set of teeth

What does an Indian women say when she is losing her virginity?

Get off me dad, your crushing my smokes.


************

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she was woman.

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her right hand?

So she can moan with her left.

Why did Helen Keller burn her face?

Because she answered the iron.

Why did Helen Keller burn her face again?

The person called back.

*************

What do a French Canadiens have in common with Billiard Balls?

If you hit them hard enough, you can get a little English out of them.

************

Why are Jewish men circumcized?

Jewish women love anything that's 15% off.

*************

Enough for now....

johnboy77 comments on Misc Jokes

A boy came home from school one day, and asked his father for some help with his homework.

“Dad, my teacher asked us to write about the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘reality’, could you help me out?”

The boy’s father agreed. He sat for a moment and thought. Finally he said “Go upstairs and ask your mother if she would have sex with Robert Redford for a million dollars, then go ask your sister if she would have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars”

The boy did as he was told and returned a short time later. He said to his father “Dad, they both said yes, but I still don’t get the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘reality’”.

The father said to the boy “Son, POTENTIALLY we are sitting on two million bucks, but in REALITY, we live with a couple sluts”


MacGringo,

I'm not racist either. I own a colour TV.

Did anyone hear about the Gay Midget? Well, he came out of the cupboard just last week.

johnboy77 comments on Is the peso weakening?

GIB,

I know I have had differences with you about this, and I don't want to get into it again... I think I called you a psyco the other day... which was out of line, and I do apologize...

But, I just finished walking my dog through El Poblado in Medellin. I passed about 50 Casas that must be worth more than $150,000 US, and past all kinds of apartment complexes that have 150m2 to 250m2 floor space, which sell for between $80,000 USD and $150,000 USD, and I was passed my all kinds of SUVS, BMWs, Mercedis.... These El Pobaldo people all have money, and are not affraid to buy places, why should a Gringo be so affraid?

To a criminal, what is the difference between a Gringo with $20,000 of desposable income, and a Colombian with a net value over $400,000 (of which their are many in El Poblado). Yes, Colombia is a lot more dangerous, but a gringo won't stick out like a sore thumb amonst many Colombians with as much, or more money. If a Gringo buys an apartment for $200,000 USD, chances are, he will be living near to about 100 Colombians who paid the exact same price. Why is it the American will be targeted??

Also, KIDNAPPERS and EXTORSIONIST usually do their homework. They target Colombians with MILLIONS of dollars, not Gringos with $20,000. Of course, this isn't always the case, and like I said, Colombia is not all that safe, but I really don't think as a Gringo with property you will stick out anymore than a wealthy Colombian with property. I don't think the criminals are racist... they just want the money.

I tried to keep this post free of insults... sorry about the last time.

Dave

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

cdunn77,I complained abou cdunn77,

I complained about American money once in Kentucky when I was working for Toyota. I said it was pretty silly to have it all the same colour, becuase you can't tell how much money you have.

A native Kentuckian, Lindsey, simply said "That's why they've got the numbers on the corners you Canadian dumbass"

So, I guess the joke was on me. I laughed pretty hard though, and always tried to think twice about critizing the US while living and working there. Despite the jokes about us only having Black and White TVs, and calling work coveralls "A Canadian Tuxedo" I still find it funny that they called me "a carpet bagger"

Dave

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

Oh, one more storey.

I was drinking in Montreal, and a friend of mine had a few American friends up from Buffalo. One guy went off to use the washroom, and he came back kind of confused.

He said he couldn't read the signs on the washrooms, so he went into the one that said "Hommies" (like the ghetto word for Home-boys).

Of course, Hommes is French for Men!.

French people laugh sometimes too when they go into a fastfood restaurant in English Canada and see the signs that say "No Pets".

Pet, in French, means "fart"

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

cdunn77,

Yes, I remember those American kids well. Being from St.Catharines, we would often go to Niagara Falls to party.

Its typical of the American steriotype though... within the US, you meet a hell of a lot of nice people... but it always seems Americans traveling abroad act different...

With those underage American kids though, its a bit different. They are typically badasses who go all the way to Canada so they can drink "in a bar". Most American kids are content to have parties and drink underage outside the bar scene, or find an American bar that they can get into with a fake ID. Unfortunately, the rotton ones of the crop go to places like Windsor... one of the main attractions of Ontario is the nudie bars. As anyone knows who has been to either Ontario or Quebec... there are no stip joints as wild or as fun.

Also, the alcohol content is higher in Canadian beer, and these kids, being underage in their own country, are not seasoned drinkers. They also have to be home by a certain time, so its not unusaul to show up at a bar at 10:00pm, and see a bunch of 19 year old Yanks totally pissed to the gills and acting like abnoxious teenagers.

After living in the US for two years, I came home at Christmas, and I was drinking normal Canadian beer watching the hockey game. I had about 8, which was OK in the US, but I was absolutley tanked.... I just wasn't used to the alcohol.

Hunter... when you said "exercise in 84" are you talking about the military? I know there is a fairly large Canadian Forces Base north of Medecine Hat.

Dave

johnboy77 comments on Bring her to Canada

oldgringo,

I have the complete Seasons 1,2, and 3 of Trailer Park Boys in Medellín. My wife kinda liked it, but not really.

I even sent copies to my American buddy in Ohio, and he didn't like it as much as I thought he would.

It definitely is the best TV show to ever come out of Canada.

I can do spot-on Ricky impression, which the boys in Alberta liked a lot. I even grew ridiculous side burns so I looked like him, and I would always enter a room in camp by saying "Hey fucksters".

My wife likes Bubbles the most...

As for your son... you never know. I am a city kid from the ever hated province of Onterrible. There were some things that I struggled with, and got a lot heat for, but I managed. Its more about having thick skin, and mental toughness. I tried to back up an F350, with a trailer (which I can't do well) on ice, and I got made fun of for about 6 weeks for that one. I jack-knifed the thing and slid the truck and trailer into a ditch.

For camp support workes... yeah, there are a lot of jobs there. Many of the cooks and camp workers are hired through huge companies. Typically, a camp owner will contract these duties out to big companies. Most of the workers spend half the day in the kitchen and half cleaning the rooms. There is usually a handyman, and gas pump attendant too. I think the kitchen workers get paid about $12 an hour and work two 6 hour shifts a day.. Breakfast and Supper shifts. On top of that, free food, and free lodging.

If your son has a Class 3 license (or the BC equivalent) there are lots of jobs driving all kinds of trucks.

If he is a cook, he may be able to get a camp cook job, which pays well.

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

UC,I don't exactly why th UC,

I don't exactly know why they fight so much. In my home province of Ontario, the further up north you go, the more people want to beat each other up when they drink.

I noticed a big difference in the US. I lived in KY, and California, and noticed there were a lot less fisticuffs.

In Medellín, I have yet to see a single fight. I find it funny, at Parque Lleras, so many teenagers can drink in a partk without a fight. In my neck of the woods, that many teens + booze would instantly result in a couple of brawls.

There isn't really any random beatings in Canada though. Usually both offending parties are willing participants. I got into just one fight in Alberta last winter, and I wasn't exactly willing, and I surely wasn't the victor. A co-worker of mine "bopped" my beer. He tapped the bottom of his bottle on the top of mine, and my Labatts Blue foamed up and all over my arms. That was no problem... I went to get him back about 5 minutes latter, but I hit his bottle too hard, smashing the glass, and covered him with Kokanee and broken glass. Well, this was a tough kid from the BC interior (he was 19, I 27) and I wanted no part of a fight, but he came at me swinging at that was that. I tried to grapple with him (I didn't want to get into a fist throwing contest) but I pretty much got the tar beat out of me.

We both got kicked out of the bar, we had a little chat outside, we went to another bar (This was in Rockey Moutain House Alberta) and spent the night buying each other beer and apologizing. We went to work the next day, business as usual. Although, he looked like nothing had happened, and my head and face looked like a rotton potatoe.

So, even though there are lots of fights, there are very little stabbings and shootings (although, there a couple every year). Mostly just good old Canadian boys having a good ol'Canadian scrap.

One difference I did notice between large southern towns in Canada, and small Northern ones, is in the south, the girls sceam and cry and try to stop the fights, and in the North, they stand on the tables and cheer for the better looking guy. Even the waitresses stand and cheer.

johnboy77 comments on Free Trade Agreement of the Americas

Canada and the Vietnam War http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_and_the_Vietnam_War

johnboy77 comments on Free Trade Agreement of the Americas

Rubiazo,

Yes, but they were a volunteer basis only. Canada allowed anyone who wanted to join to freely go to the US and join, but the these soilders were under American command. Canada, on an official level, did not participate in the war, nor did the "send" a single soilder. These Canadian soilders were equiped with American weapons and uniforms, ate US Army food, and were under the command of the US armed forces.

A co-worker of my father's at GM was one of the ones who served. He wasn't even in the Canadian army... he just decided one day he wanted to go to Vietnam and fight. He has a lot of mental problems because of the war, but my father told me he was a bit of a nut case even before he went.

johnboy77 comments on Bring her to Canada

Oldgringo,

Well, I guess we agree on that... you need to have the relationship documented.

You have always maintained that the conjucal route was the best, and I don't totally agree. With the marriage certificate, they ask for wedding photos and reception photos in leu of being together for at least a year.

But, if you can show that you are basically in a common law relationship, and can show why you could not live together for a year, then yeah, I guess the conjucal route is as good as any. To me, it seemed like CIC would be a bit more skeptical about this.

About your 24 year old kid... The options are huge for labour jobs.

What province are you in? The best place is Alberta.

Here is a rundown on the types of jobs he can get, assuming no experience, and that he is not a tradesman or a trucker (as there are a wealth of these jobs too).

1. Seismic Line Crew. They will hire anyone with 2 legs and a heartbeat, but the job is a little lousy. You get about $7.50 an hour, but they work you about 90 hours a week, and they pay for your food and lodging, and transportation. This is always a good choice if nothing else works for you. Basically, you walk through the frozen forrest with a 80lbs cable wrapped around your head. Its a good job to get you used to any job in the oil patch, because they are all physically demanding. You are basically connecting power to the goephones (jugs) that listen for the echo when they blast the dynomite. You will be known as a "jughound"

2. Seismic Drilling. Can be a drillers helper. Hard to get on if you have no experience, but I just lied and said I had done it before. Just about the most difficult job on the oil patch, but the pay is awesome. You will make between $200 and $400 per day. In most jobs, you follow a small drill rig through farm fields or forrest, and you load dynomite down the holes he drills. Sometimes the job is hourly pay... these are VERY hard, and some times its turnkey where you get paid by the hole (THESE ARE VERY VERY VERY DIFFICULT jobs).

Your son must be in good physical shape, and more importantly, mentally tough. You will be out of breath for 10 hours, without anyone to talk to, and working at an ultra fast pace, covered in mud, and very sore. Sometimes you must work 40 to 60 days straight with no days off. Sometimes the temperature is -40 for 2 weeks... you just have to work through it. If you can't keep up, they will fire you on the spot.

3. Drill Rigs and Service Rigs. Without experience, you can get on a as a LEASEHAND or a ROUGHNECK (floor hand). A leasehand is just an extra helper until they get your roughnecking on your own. If you are a leashand for more than a couple weeks, your probably going to get fired.

For Drill Rigs, the roughneck connects the peices of pipe (or drill) together using big tong like mechanisms. You also have to do all other jobs required. Typically 12 hour shifts, 2 weeks on, 1 week off. You may live in camps, and the pay is about $18 an hour, which really adds up with the overtime.

On a service Rig, I am not sure what the roughneck does, but its mostly lifting pipe. They get paid a bit less $16 to $17, but they will provide transportation. I have heard this is real dirty work... mud, oil, and lots of chemicals.

4. Pipelining. Work on a crew to lay pipes in the ground. $16 and hour for new guys, and LOTS of hours! At least 84 a week, sometimes more. Have never done this, but have seen the guys working... looks like it would be an OK job. I was working on a handdrill crew once and the pipeline guys were making fun of us, and it led to a vicious snowball fight. Anyway, we all smoked a big joint together and called it a draw. Good times.

5. Slashing. Cutting down trees to make seismic lines, roads, and lease sites. The most dangerous of all these jobs. Lots of guys get hurt or killed from trees falling on them or running the chainsaw up the side of their leg by accident. $16 an hour to start. You get paid an extra $2 an hour if you have your own saw. Not an easy job, and I wouldn't recomend this.

Anway, your son would need to make phone calls and research these jobs as much as possible. You can try the yellow pages in the Calgary or Edmonton phone books, or look for phone numbers and company websites on the Internet. Its basically a matter of calling people over and over again until they give you a job. Except for the Drill and Service Rigs, who hire through resumes...

He should look at some of the real big companies (Drill and Service Rigs) like Precision Drilling, Neighbours Drilling, Beaver Drilling (that is not a joke), or Cora Lynn. I think Precision operates over 150 rigs, who employ about 2 Roughnecks on each shift (with rotation, about 6 roughnecks per rig)... there is also other jobs, but you need to have a lot of rig experience Motorhand, Derrickhand, Driller, Tool Push.... These guys get paid verywell.

At the very least, he will need to have His First Aid with CPR (St Johns Ambulance) and his H2S ALIVE training (from PITS in Calgary or Nisku (south of Edmonton)). It would help if he has a clean driving record (most deaths in the oil patch are driving related) and a car.

Private message me if you have anymore questions,

Dave

johnboy77 comments on Free Trade Agreement of the Americas

"all those crazy Mohawks"

As the joke goes, just hide their welfare cheques under their workboats, and they'll starve to death! I am 1/8th Iroquios, so I am allowed the odd racial slant! LOL!

Anyway, sitting your fatass on top of pickup with a towel wrapped around your face and hunting rifle over your shoulder isn't much of a querilla war.

The Canadian army is in fact quite well trained, with a pretty remarkable history. I mean, we have never lost a war, nor started one. Sure we have always been a lesser player, but we don't have a Vietnam on our books either... I mean, to fight the poorest country on earth for 10 years and loose.... then make fun of the Canadian army....hmmmm. Oh, and as a side note, we stayed out of the second Iraq war, which may be the smartest thing our last Prime Minister ever did (or didn't do I should say...)

Today the Canadian forces suffer from lack of funding, and the army is VERY small. Half the stading army is deployed... typically in peace keeping missions... I think Canada is set to take total command of Afganastan in 6 months or so. My brother in law is all set to deploy.. he is a vehicle mechanic for the Regular Forces. This should allow more US soilders for Syria or Iran... whoever is next on the "Axis of Evil" list. I saw a funny t-shirt that had "Asses of Evil" with a picture of Bush, Rumsfeld, and Ashcroft on the front

johnboy77 comments on Bring her to Canada

OldGringo.

The way I see it, Canada does not allow fiance VISAs, they want MARRIAGE.

Now, in Canada, Common Law and Marriage are about the same thing. Canada has an increasingly large amount of "partners". People who live together as a couple, have kids, own homes together, but are not married. For instance, my mother has been living with her boyfriend for 16 years, and my father with his girlfriend for 18 years. They are as good as married.

Now, Canada allows sponsorship under 3 catagories for importing your lover into Canada.

1. Spousal
2. Common Law
3. Conjucal

For #1 they need to see proof, and you don't have to be together for a year.

For #2, you must prove that you have been living together for 1 year.

For #3, you must show that you have been in a relationship for a year, and that you were "PREVENTED FROM MARRIAGE OR COMMON LAW PARTNERSHIP" due to some unpreventable circumstance.

For the woman I was talking about in Canada, the immigration officer said that there was nothing stopping them from getting married, and that they had never really lived together. There lives and finaces were not intermingled enough to satisfy the officer. They showed a lot of internet chatting, and a number of "conjucal visits". As far as the officer was concerned, this was a "relationship" that did not fall under any of the 3 categories.

Now this lady has the right to appeal, she talked about that, but this could take many many months... she decided to get married to the guy instead and just apply again... the waiting times are not so bad coming from the US.

Dave

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

Rubiazo I was in Medicine Hat for a couple days. We were drilling on some Hedorite coloney about an hour north of the city (Which is about 3000km of wheat fields). Anyway, it was Halloween, and outside of our hotel, there were about 3 fights.... (the bar croud). I know the Albertans like to fight, but its really funny when they are dressed up in their Halloween costumes.

About nightly brawls... LOL! Bringing back some good memories. Some of those Alberta boys go out looking to fight, and if they can't find one, they'll fight each other. Its all good fun though.... You should go to Fort MacMurry. Throw about 15,000 Newfies into the mix, and there is always going to be a good brawl. And with their accent Fort Mac sounds like Fart Mac. aahhh good times!

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

cdunn77

I did a 5 year degree... first year was the toughest 3 years of my life!!!

Just kidding.. engineering is 4 years, but I was in the co-op program where we worked 4 months, and went to school 4 months, so that slowed us down by a year.

My first year was in 1996. I lived in 1602. I lived on Nelson St. the following year, and went to a single room in Thompson Res my third year 1998-99.

Hell, I may know you. I don't know.

Remember that MASSIVE frosh week sign that read "PARTY CENTRAL - ICI CA BRAS!" that hung above the cafeteria (Frosh week 1999). Anyway, my buddies and I got REALLY baked and drunk, and stole that sign. Perhaps you know me from that.... LOL! We were running down Cumberland with a 35 foot long tarp/sign.

Anyway, Its hard to know if I know you or not. My student number was 1230082... LOL!

I would guess that your first year was 1998, and I was living with a lot of first year people because I lived in a single room in Thompson (1601) that year.

I also got arrested at the Panda game, but that was in 1996. I had "GO GGS" shaved into my head, and I got put in jail for being drunk and running from the police. I had a fake ID on me (I was only 18) and that didn't go over so well with the cops. They didn't charge me with anything though, so I was pretty lucky.

Anyway, if you know anyone who lived on the 16th floor of Thompson in 1998-99 than I probably know you.

Later,

johnboy77 comments on Free Trade Agreement of the Americas

Poco,

Are you making fun of out tank? Perhaps making fun of out submarine may be a better idea.

The idea of Canada having a plausible defence system is sort of funny. We border on only one country, the USA, and any war will be a lot different than the one we had in 1812. Who are we defending ourselves agains? If the USA, than its a little pointless, I think that would a rather quick war. We have a big country, so it make take time, but since the speed limit signs say 100, maybe it will be quicker.

As far as fresh water, Canada has more than any other country on the planet....

Alternative engergy will come, but the oil industry will dominate for at least another half century. Why develope alternative energy when you can make retardedly massive profits on a resource that is just waiting to be pumped out of the ground.

johnboy77 comments on getting a Canadian tourist visa

Colombo Canadiense wrote:

THAT IS WRITTEN IN PAPERS, PRACTICE TELLS OTHERWISE

BE OPEN TO TAKE ADVISE


Well its good to know that many Colombians still don't respect the immigration laws of the countries they go to. Just because you have not gotton caught, does not mean it is a correct thing to do.

No hard feelings though... I heard of a Polish women who was deported because she had not spent the 2 of 5 years in Canada. I just wouldn't want the same thing to happen to someone else.

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

cdunn77

Holey crap. I graduated from U of Ottawa in 2001 also. Bachelors of Applied Science - Mechanical Engineering.

I walked from MacDonald Hall to my Stanford Residence building when I got the frost bite. It was only -30C (LOL!!!) but the windchill had it down to -50 or so. The wind in that city was a total bastard in the winter.

Anway, I liked Ottawa and the University, but it wore out its welcome with me. I will always have good memories of the city, but I don't miss it either. I am also from Southern Ontario... St. Catharines.

Lukus... Yes, Alberta ROCKS! Great people, lots of money to be made, no Provincial sales tax, cheapest Gas, hot laddies, and a couple of great cities. Calgary and Edmonton. But, does get a wee bit chilly in the winter... Hell, mullets still look cool in places like Medicine Hat or Fort MacMurry.

johnboy77 comments on Free Trade Agreement of the Americas

cali373....

I am a Canadian, and pro NAFTA, and I can't answer your question because I didn't loose my job to a Mexican.

With NAFTA I was able to get TN VISAs to work in the US, and I generally consider it to be good for Canada...

The US should play fair, but they don't, and I don't really think anyone expected them to. Its like a mouse signing and agreement with an elephant. I mean, the elephant is still in charge... agreement or no agreement.

If NAFTA benifits Canada, but benefits the US more, it is still a good deal for Canada, because we are seeing more benefits than we would have without NAFTA... and this is good regardless how well the US benefits from NAFTA.

Sure the screwed us on softwood lumber, and went a little too far with the Mad Cow thing, but PMPM (Prime Minister Paul Martin) just made a pretty tough speach where he warned that Canada may shift away from the US as a major trading partner for energy resources! So, unless Americans want to pay $4 a gallon, they may wish to reconsider playing a rigged game with Canada. We have the second largest deposit of oil in the world, and the supply is safe from Natural Disasters, Arab peoples, and Mr. Chavez.

South America should enter into any free trade agreement that will help them, and not hurt them. Even if the US gets the better end of the deal, a good deal is still a good deal. Just don't expect the Americans to play fair... they never do.

johnboy77 comments on Bring her to Canada

Oldgringo,

I have been chatting (email) with a Canadian women who had her conjucal application denied (she was sponsoring her American boyfriend). She showed about 18 months of relationships, about $6000 in airfare, and about 300 photographs. The CIC lady said that they should get married and apply.

Goes to show it depends on the Immigration officer.

johnboy77 comments on Canadian visa forms on the web - where did they go?

All the forms are here. I checked to see if they download, and they do.

Good Luck

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/applications/fc.html

Processing times for Colombia looked something like this (I forget exactyly):

30% cases within 8 months
50% cases within 12 months
80% cases within 18 months

johnboy77 comments on getting a Canadian tourist visa

You cannot come and go as you please totally. With permanent residency, you must live 2 out of 5 years in Canada, or your PR will be taken away. You must live 3 out of 5 to get citizenship.

Also, you must at least get to Canada before you initial VISA expires, which is linked to the date your health checks expire.

johnboy77 comments on Felt a tremour in Medellin

Molson Golden!! LOL! I forgot about that stuff! LOL! I guess you are lot older than me! I remember my Dad drinking that, and OV. I don't think anyone under 40 drinks Golden. No offence. Thanks for the laugh though!

I thought I told you (under my former alias, Daver) that I liked Blue! (Labatt Blue, not Viagra!).

I actually find Colombian Beer to be quite good. About twice as good as American beer, but that still leaves it well shy of what I am used to back home.

Reminds me of a Monty Python joke. "How is American beer like making love in a conoe?"... "Because its fucking close to water"

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

CaryGrant,

Oh the winters aren't that bad in Alberta! LOL! I worked the oil patch last winter, and am packing my bags again... will leave Medellín about the last week of this month, and am going to meet my brother in Grande Prarie. Its kinda funny telling people here in Medellín, that I can make 13,000,000 pesos a month drilling holes in the ground and loading them with dynomite. Sure beets the hell out of what I making teaching English.

I like to tell my students here in Medellin, when they complain that its cold, that I worked in Northern Alberta, outside, 12 hour shifts, -40C, lugging 100 lbs of equipment through 1 meter of snow, living in camps, and making an arse load of money (free lodging, free food, and $6500 a month!). They also can't beleive my boots cost me 500,000 pesos (Gotta have those Baffins!!). And, since I don't work for 7 months of the year in Canada, I get about half my taxes back on my tax return.

Anyway, Calgary winters are not that bad, unless you are from the Vancouver area, where the climate is ultra mild in the winter. I am an Ontario boy, and kind of used to freezing my nads off in the winter. Not quite the lows that Calgary sees, but whats the difference between -15C and -18C... not much, really. Its when you get up to around Edmonton that things start to get a litte chilly. I went to University in Ottawa, and I remeber getting back from Physics lab with Frostbite on my ears. It was a 7 minute walk, but it was -55C with the wind chill.

I'm actually looking forward to going back.... A little ol' BC bud makes the workday go by fast anyway.

johnboy77 comments on Felt a tremour in Medellin

correction:

No mucha!

johnboy77 comments on Felt a tremour in Medellin

UC,

No not teasing. Let's just say, before, it was the neigbours complaining about earthquakes, and now its just me.

Sure I am married to a Colombiana, but I've never been married to a gringa (nor anyone else), so how would I know the difference? Notice though I said "no mucho" and not "nunca". I guess my Dad was right when he told me that wedding cake was the greatest chastity drug around....

Oh well, back to my crossword as I listen to my wife snore...

johnboy77 comments on Getting married in Colombia

Note:

The laws change. I needed a marriage VISA, and now you don't. I had to go civil route as I am not catholic, and have absolutely no documents with regard to my religion. I'm supposedly Anglacan, but I wasn't baptized.

johnboy77 comments on Felt a tremour in Medellin

I live very close to the road "Las Palmas", but I live up the hill in Castropol - El Poblado.

They are building an office building directly behind my apartment, but this was different. Sometimes when they are pounding away with the Pile Driver I can feel my apartment shake a bit, but this was much different. It was about 7 seconds of a smooth back and forth rocking motion. I looked to see what my dog was up to (still a puppy, so you never know what the hell they are doing) to see if he was rocking the bed, but he was looking around like me to see what was going on. My wifes towel was hanging on the bathroom door, and I noticed it was swaying back and forth. There were no workers at the construction site, and they had not been pile driving that day.

My wife was in the aparment next to mine teaching english to our neighbour, and she said she felt nothing, but a family member of our neighbour called to say she had felt an earthquake.

I guess if people in Cali felt it, it must have been a biggy. I haven't looked elsewhere to see where it came from.

johnboy77 comments on Things to do in MDE

Santa Fe de Antioquia is more like 2 hours outside of town... The country side around Medellin is much safer than it was 5 years ago. You can go about 4 hours in any dirrection without getting into any red zones.

You should be fine, but you must take precautions. Like, you can't do things like you would in the US.

Also, if a Colombian says its too dangerous, definitley listen

johnboy77 comments on Taxi versus bus

Hi, I am a Canadian in Medellin. The prices of taxis and busses are about the same (Bogota has higher pay, higher real estate costs).

Look to pay 1000 to 1200 pesos per bus trip. Busses are not generally transferable, so if you need 2 bus trips to get to one place, you will pay twice (busses are usually privately owned). I am not sure how the transmillenium works.

Cabs are very cheap, but if you make Colombian money, they are not so cheap. An average hourly rate for a taxi is about 15,000. You will not get a deal by frequently using the same cab. They get paid pretty low as it is, and I doubt they would agree to be locked down to an even shittier deal. 100 blocks.... hmmm maybe 8000 pesos per trip? I don't know... its not that bad.

johnboy77 comments on Canada looking to speed up the immigration process

Rubizo,

No offence, but if you were my friend in Canada, I wouldn't return your calls eiher... I'd be thanking my lucky stars that you left, and went to a place that welcomes standoffish jerks... NY. No wonder you didn't fit in. I'm glad you enjoy NY though.

You are correct about the banking system and the weed. While in the US, I was baffled about how I could not use internet banking for everything, and why my US bank card worked on less US ATMS than my Canadian CIBC card did. Colombia's banking system is pathetic, and the weed is disapointing... but that is a different story.

The reasons Canadian weed is the best in the world are:

1. It must be grown indoors. Therefore, the necessity to have optimal conditions arises... so rises the level of THC within the bud.

2. In BC, the goverment has let grow ops run their busisnesses with little interference. They litterally have PHD scientist working on growing the best weed.

3. 1 out of every three Canadians has admitted to smoking pot on a semi regular basis. 2 out of 3 are lieing, and the rest are just lame.

4. The cops in Canada treat weed differently than other drugs, therefore people aren't as affraid to grow weed as they are to manufacture other drugs such as ecstacy or meth. Montreal actually has a phone centre where you can order weed on the phone. Just dial the number, and your personal PIN, and some scruffy dude will show up at your apartment in 30 minutes with a backpack full of REALLY good weed. They pay them like Pizza delivery boys, plus they get wholesale rate on weed (why they took the job in the first place) and the company hires lawyers when one of them gets busted with possesion.

Anyway, I wouldn't count on Canadian Immigration getting any faster. After the crap I have gone through trying to sponsor my wife, I cannot see the government acting any faster. Plus, it is hard to get the immigrants to see Canada as anything other than Toronto. There is so much work in Alberta, its hard to immagine (worlds second largest oil deposit after Saudia Arabia) and only a very small percent is being pumped. There is so much economic opportunity in the exploration, drilling, pumping, piping, and refining that they consistently have labour shortages as high as 50,000 people.

The problem with Alberta is there are 3,500,000 people and over 4,000,000 head of cattle. Look to see the population of Edmonton and Calgary double within the next 10 years. Hopefully not ALL immigrants (its half Newfy as it is).

johnboy77 comments on Marrying a Colombian for a visa extension

Jesse,

The marriage visa is quick, but the marriage is not. You will need documents from your home country. You will need to prove that you are not married to anyone else, will have to provide a birth registration (the long form, not the birth certificate), and maybe a police report. If you are American, you will need translations and apostilles, if Canadian, translations and have the documents legalized at a Colombian consulate. The notaries alwasy slow things down by a few days....

Getting the VISA is VERY easy. I posted about this about a week ago if you can find it. A lot of the documents you can get ready before you are married (document showing activity, notarized copies of your new wife's cedula, a letter from her inviting you etc...).

But, I can't see how you can get married in this amount of time (perhaps you can). I got married in Colombia when you needed to get a marriage VISA first, and it took me about a month to get all my documents together, translated, and sent to the consulate in Toronto.

It takes 4 or 5 hours to get the VISA if you are married. They don't want pictures of the wedding or anything like that. The only document about the marriage that they need is the one the notary will issue you once you are married.

johnboy77 comments on Awful....rumor, right?

"If it was not for me bringing some balance on these security issues this site would be open for one hell of a lawsuit by anyone reading it and traveling here and getting whacked."

You have to be kidding!!!! LOL!

That's the most retarded thing I have heard in a hell of while. You should try and relax some, before you become a security risk. I can't believe you tried to tell us that you would be calm in a robbery, when you go phsyco on a web forum.

johnboy77 comments on Awful....rumor, right?

I will assume that was direct Psychoinbogota, I assume that was directed at me, as I was last to post, and I didn't say Bogotá was as safe as other places in the world. I live in Medellín. I posted some useful hints, and reminded people that you need to be careful everywhere, and not just in Colombia.

Try switiching to decaf or something......

Ps. I will compare Colombia to other countries if I please. Use all the capital letters you want, but this isn't your webpage, and others, despite your crying, are allowed to post their opinions (I am a gringo living in Colombia, am married to a Colombian, work in Colombia, and live in a city that doesn't exactly have a reputation for being safe, so its not like I'm talking out of my ass)

johnboy77 comments on Search: Apt, La Universidad De Antioquia

Can't be too expensive, as the school is not in the greatest hood. However, the University is right on the Metro, so if you live anywhere along the Metro route, you can get to school for 1000 pesos from 5 to 15 minutes.

In the areas around the school, I am sure you can get a small 1 bedroom apt for 300,000 or less, in estrato 4 or 3 (Utilities will be about 80,000 + 70,000 for good internet). This should leave you enough money to get stoned with all the other students at the "airport" near the soccer field.

There are some OK apartments in El Centro, and better ones as you head west from El Centro on the San Javier Metro Line (between El Centro and Laurales). Laurales or El Pobaldo would be the best places to live, but now you are looking at 500,000 to 650,000 for a small place (of your own), and about 150,000 in utilities.

johnboy77 comments on Awful....rumor, right?

Some hints:

Try to use ATMs in malls. It won't eliminate the risk, but it certainly decreases it. Its also easier to tell if someone is following you in a mall, compared to out on the street, where people can have you in view from much farther away.

I always withdrawl from Oviedo Mall on Ave. El Poblado (maybe 6 ATMs there) or at the Exito on Calle 10 and Las Vegas.

Try not to take out a huge chunck at once. If you can, get a Colombian bank account and try paying for things like groceries with direct ATM. I have it set up in Medellin where I can pay my rent with an internet transaction from my Conavi account, which eliminates that one day a month where I had money all over my body walking down the street.

A simple rule to follow is, if you can't afford to loose it, then don't carry it. Always have an amount on you that you will not even consider fighting for (this goes for jewelry, passports, and other things). Don't carry your bank or credit card unless you need to, and try keeping your money in different pockets (they are not so thurough if they rob you in public, and may just take one thing... no gaurantees.)

And yes, these things happen in other places. As a student in Ottawa, there was an old man (65+) who was coming home at night to a building next to mine. Some kid punched him in the back of the head and took his wallet. The kid was caught, said there was $35 in the wallet. The old man died as his head hit the floor in the lobby. The man did not resist... he wasn't given the chance.

johnboy77 comments on visa denial

Ronald, you posted:

Article 16.
(1) Men and women...have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights....

(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.

(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

Where does it say they are allowed to break the law, and that since they are married, the laws should be ignored. I know nothing of the orginal poster, nor of his wife, so I wish them no bad luck, but lets say, you marry a murderer... Does this mean he/she should be let out of jail because you are being denied your human rights?

This charter, was also created by the UN, which has no authority over any country, and has so recently proved itself to be corrupt and useless.

In my country, Canada, you would not be allowed to sponsor someone who has been deported. In fact, if they have been deported from many countries other than Canada, they would not likely let them into Canada.

Also, the original poster is not being denied anything according to the UN. He can have his family, and be protected under Colombian law.

I hope the original poster the best of luck, and I hope he can find a solution. He is not being denied any of his human rights, and he faces a legal challenge which I hope he overcomes.

johnboy77 comments on Apartment Prices in Bogota & Medellin

It makes me laugh when people think they are making money on their sole property. They only own one property, their house, and they think that they are making money on it when the value goes up. For one, you don't make money until you sell it, and when you do, you have no place to live, so you have to buy another place, but the problem is, usually the prices have gone up everywhere... so after the real estate fees, and transfer taxes, and buying a new place, you haven't made any money, unless you move to a much crappier area than you were before...

johnboy77 comments on Medical Examination for Canadian Visa?

I don't know how they accept it... they probably have a mailing address for immigration related documents. Make sure your case number is all over it, so they don't lose it.

This will cost you about 3 months (so I have heard) I think I will have the same problem soon with my wife. The form that the doctor fills out does not go to Bogotá... it goes to come centralized place where they verify all health checks from around the globe. They then courier to Bogotá with their results/recomondations. Your copy, you have to send it to the embassy. Then, of course, your file, and your life, is just put on hold until someone decides its time to pick up the file again.

johnboy77 comments on Colombian tourist visa extension past 6 months/ Student Visa

Jesse, yes its possible, but you need a VISA. You can pay the fine for the overstay, but you can't get back in if you have used up your time.

Get a student VISA. it does not have to be a university

johnboy77 comments on Looking for free legal advice.

I doubt the US can prosecute people in COlombian courts. They would have to file to have him extradited, which will not fall under the special laws which allow for the extradition of narco trafficers, but I am sure it is possible.

He really should HIRE a lawyer.

I have some more legal adive for him (free): Don't break federal law!

johnboy77 comments on Apartment Prices in Bogota & Medellin

A lot of Bogotá replies....

As for Medellín, most estrato 6 places you will find are in El Poblado and Laureles. Estrato 5 exists in El Poblado, but are fairly rare.. more estrato 5s in Laureles, and perhaps even 4s . There are also Estrato 6s in Envigado, mostly near the Golden Mile on Ave El Poblado.

For used, but fairly new apartments (3 - 7 years old) in estrato 6, not too far up the mountain in El Poblado, in less exclusive sectors (but still estrato 6) like Castropol, you can find places for between 900,000 and 1,100,000 per square meter (9.9 square feet). So, for 1,700 square feet, you can maybe find one for 160,000,000. Of course, up near the transverals, or on the golden mile, or very exlusive places you will pay much more.

I have heard, since there are more apartments than qualified buyers in El Poblado, it may be possible to low ball people and see what happens. Especially for apartments that are 10 to 15 years old.

There are so many new buildings being built in Medellín, it is hard to imagine where all the people are coming from. I have heard that a lot of people bought new ones under construction before selling their existing ones closer to the Avenues (Ave Las Vegas, and Ave El Poblado)... there are many up for sale with very few buyers, and more and more new ones on the market.

Anway, I think it is possible to get a nice place in Medellín for about 160,000,000 for the size you are looking for... but most will be more expensive. Medellín is cheaper than Bogotá when comparing best neigbourhoods to best neighbourhoods, perhaps by as much as 40%.

I think the mental craving here for something new, is that the people buying apartments in the estrato 6 areas are among the richest people in the city, and maybe they feel that they have to maintain their social class... I guess its keeping up with the Jones (or Restrepos if you want a common Paisa name). They will have plenty of time to think about it as they sit in traffic for an hour trying to get down the hill in El Poblado (hundreds upon hundreds of new apartments, and zero new roads).

Does anyone predict a real estate crash in El Poblado? I don't know enough to even guess, but if the building boom produces a large vacancy rate (10 to 15%) what will happen? I also heard they made a new building tax in El Poblado to stem the tide of building, but I don't know for sure.

johnboy77 comments on Looking for free legal advice.

I have some free legal advice. Tell him to hire a lawyer... pehaps he can use the money from his Swiss accounts to pay the lawyer, or perhaps money from the Colombian accounts, or perhaps borrow money using his Colombian assets (property) as a guarantee he will pay it back. That way, he will not need free advice from non-laywers on PBH.

johnboy77 comments on Will UK electrical equipment work?

Polar,

The Colombian electrical system is the same as the USA, so unless you want to spend a month buying adapters, you are out of luck.

Second hand stuff in Colombia is about triple what you pay in US, Canada, UK. People don't throw things out here, nor do they buy new furniture when the old stuff is still in good shape... so the supply is low... price is high. Especially for used cars. I remember as a student in Ottawa, I could furnish a whole apartment for $300... not so in Colombia ....