goosekirk has left 228 comments

goosekirk comments on Looking for editor/typist to help edit book in Bogota over the next four to five weeks.

I'd be glad to help out as well. I used to edit long scientific documents for a living, and I'm currently editing my own book. Send me an email at goosekirk at gmail.

goosekirk comments on Pictures of Bush visit

For reference Internet service was wanked last Friday, apparently due to some snafus on the landline between the coast and Bogota. A lot of people suspected, or simply assumed, that it was out because of security around Bush's visit. I can't imagine why they would need to shut off the internet for several hours in the middle of a business day, so I figure the official explanation is probably true.

My DSL line worked fine for Saturday and Sunday. People complained about cell phones only working sporadically on Sunday, which makes sense. 20,000+ people working security, using cell phones, monitoring cell phones, and dumping loads of extra RF into the air (the SS had their super-sekret spy plane pulling laps overhead)... I can see where that might disrupt cell phones here and there.

So anyway, yeah, the shrub screwed up Iraq, then he screwed up my Sunday, messing up traffic, cell phones, and beer-drinking. Now it's personal - I vote to impeach.

goosekirk comments on Platypus pages updated

cool Glad you guys noticed the site. I made it! If you see anything that needs changing, leave a comment.

I'm particularly proud of the downloadable PDF map on the maps page. I think it's the best map of Bogota for tourists that exists, and it includes some handy general information.

The "Local Info" page should also be useful. It's a big collection of addresses for just about everything. Took me days to format all that. Take a look!

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

DG Of course, I wouldn't say WALKING down 19 past decima is safe at night... but passing through in a hotel car? C'mon. I'll stand by the lightning statement, which was directed at the odds of being held up and robbed in a car on the way from the airport, which I believe was Portena's concern. And I don't think anyone is going to glance out the window and figure, hey, this looks like a swell place for a midnight stroll. People ain't that dumb. Well, in general. I hope. Anyway, I think that's the source of confusion here - I was talking specifically about the safety of arriving to her hotel in a car from the airport, not overall safety.

Everything else, yeah, we probably agree on.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

Coffee shops One of my favorite coffee shops in La Candelaria is easy to find - Avenida Jimenez with Carrera 4. It's called Hibrido, and it's got a mannequin on the second floor balcony. Coffee's nothing special, but it's a comfy place to hang out. Others, well, you'll have to wander about and find 'em for yourself!

I recommend downloading the map I linked to earlier: http://www.platypusbogota.com/bogotamap.pdf

I made it so I can't claim to be unbiased, but I think it's the best map available for tourists. Stick to what's on that map, and you won't end up anyplace dumb.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

MAP Yeah, Don, a map is a good idea. I actually made one for the Platypus Hotel:

http://www.platypusbogota.com/bogotamap.pdf

This map has La Candelaria to Usaquen, and a blowup of the La Candelaria area. It covers most of where your average tourist or gringo would spend their time: Parque 93, Rosales, Zona Rosa, Macarena, etc. Notice that on the inset map, staying within those boundaries would keep the tourist out of Santa Fe, Las Cruces, Egipto and Germania, and therefore out of the 'dangerous' areas.

It would be possible to do a color version and grade different streets according to perceived safety... for example, I still hate Calle 17 between 4 and 5 at night, and 15 between 3 and 4... but there's no point in doing this because it all changes so fast. The past year has seen tremendous changes downtown, and these changes seem to be accelerating.

I just took a walk into Germania last week, looking at a property there. Figured with that huge new building going up and prices in La Candelaria rising, that area should be starting to gentrify. Well... it's most definitely NOT. Maybe on the edges it's starting, but the interior is still the same old Germania. But I'll go back and look again in six months. Who knows.

Anyway... if you could build a database of street crime and link it into a GIS system and keep it updated, you might have something... except that a whole lot of street crime goes unreported.

The only thing for it, I think, is to keep tourists out of the obviously bad neighborhoods and teach them basic precautions that are as applicable in La Candelaria, day or night, as they are in Usaquen.

Matter of fact, I'm sitting here playing with a souvenir right now - a wooden stake sharpened to a rough point that a friend took off a would-be mugger... on Calle 85 between 11 and 15. When it comes to street crime, location ain't everything.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

And what I don't agree with is when people go on like this: 'What I don't agree with is people who say shit like central is perfectly safe.'

Having re-read this thread again, I don't see where anyone has said that, or would say that. The closest is where I said 'I have no qualms about walking around [La Candelaria] at night, your mileage may vary,' which, to me, is not to say that all of downtown is perfectly safe for any old tourist who turns up. I'm saying, *I* have no qualms about walking around, but I'm used to it. That is to say, it's not quite the warzone many on here, and many Colombians who live in the north, would have people believe, because I can walk around and feel perfectly at home, and 99 nights out of 100, I have no problems whatsoever, and even the 1 out of 100 is not very terrifying (again, to me).

I've already forgotten more first-hand accounts of foreign tourists getting robbed in La Candelaria than most people, especially your Colombian friends, have ever heard. I know quite well how it does and doesn't work. I would never tell anyone, let alone someone just off the plane, that it's 'perfectly safe' at any hour. I wouldn't say anywhere on earth is 'perfectly safe.' I would say, don't walk around with a big SLR around your neck, or big jewelry, keep an eye around you at all times, keep a few small bills in your pocket and the rest hidden just in case you do get robbed (all of this, I think, is plain common-sense advice applicable in any big city anywhere in the world) - and then don't worry about it. There's nothing PARTICULARLY dangerous about the areas of Bogota that a tourist goes to.

Around La Candelaria, yes, it's not recommendable to walk south of the palace, or above carrera 1, or very far west of the gold museum (although as far as 10 or Caracas isn't that bad), or into Germania north of Av. Jimenez... but NO TOURIST HAS ANY REASON TO GO TO THOSE AREAS ANYWAY. For anyone who's ever been outside West Bumfuck, Iowa, it's pretty obvious when you see those areas that you shouldn't be there. It doesn't take super-special street smarts or people on some message board to figure that out. What people want to know is, when I go to my 5-star hotel downtown in the historic district, how is the safety there? They don't especially need us to tell them that walking into the ghetto isn't safe.

Although I should point out that I, and several tourists I personally know, have walked into all of those areas more than once and still haven't caught a stray bullet in the chest or been kidnapped or had to dodge RPGs. I have walked into particular streets and it's been extremely obvious that I didn't belong there and was being sized up, but I was always able to leave quickly and without incident. I also know other people who've gone into those areas with cameras out and handbags dangling and had them stolen pretty quickly (but politely, I might add). So is that 'safe?' I say no, but neither is it 'dangerous' in the sense that someone might grab you off the street and lop your head off, or a car bomb might go off, or someone might just gun you down in the street for looking too much like a gringo.

What I hate is how foreigners imagine the most terrible things about Bogota, and while I wouldn't say it's all totally unfounded (and CHRIST I hate having to oh-so-carefully qualify any statement around here), it's way off the mark of reality. They come here quaking with fear, but they'll fly into Caracas without a second thought. They don't know what to expect and no one's telling them, and then they come on here and people try to assuage their fears, reassure them that they're not entering Baghdad, and then every single time there's this same goddamn stupid argument that breaks out. Nobody can say anything without someone jumping in and claiming some extreme point, and then it's hardly ever someone saying 'my personal experience is...' - usually, it's 'my Colombian friends tell me...' (everyone who lives here and thinks that's a reliable source of information, raise your hand) or in certain cases 'I'm just pulling this out of my ass...'

The whole point is: foreigners coming here the first time tend to imagine that there are PARTICULAR dangers in Bogota, and there simply aren't.

And then people on PBH will argue back and forth for 800 posts about whether it's 'perfectly safe' or 'totally a warzone' and completely miss the point.

goosekirk comments on Bogota Hotels

Where? "Where would you reccomend a tourist walking at night around the Tequendama?"

In the evening, I would recommend a walk up to La Macarena through the park in front of the torres. Lots of excellent places to go, for example En Obra, Carrera 4A #26A–37.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

Portena, There is no significant safety issue at the hotel you're staying at. The hotel is sending a car to pick you up, and it drops you off at the hotel. When you leave, a car takes you from the hotel. No matter what vague scary handwaving Don and G5 cook up, the fact is this: nothing is going to happen to you between the lobby of the Hotel Opera and the airport, no matter what time you're arriving or leaving. And that is Period!!! No exceptions. Once you're here for a bit, you'll see that it's a non-issue.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

oh, wait Are we talking about "safe" like you have to be worried about stray bullets, bombs, RPGs, kidnappings, stabbings, randoms acts of violence and bodily harm?

Or are we talking about "safe" as in someone might steal your wallet?

If you're worried about someone stealing your wallet, then don't carry a wallet. Stick a few small bills in your pocket, carry larger bills and your cell phone in your sock, or even better, a leg wallet worn on the calf. If someone mugs you, give over the small bills in your pocket. If they're professional, they'll go through your pockets anyway, so you won't really have a choice. With just the slightest bit of planning the most you'll lose is a few bucks, and very few crackheads are so stab-happy that they'll gut you for no reason.

It's not "safe" "per se" anywhere. Wasn't there a gang of muggers working Rosales recently? And it seems to me I hear about as many muggings in the late afternoon as I do at night. Why do you feel so authoritive on the topic of downtown safety, G5? Been living down here recently, or are you still armchair quarterbacking from the US?

Bottom line - with some common sense, basic planning, and assuming you don't get all freaked out in case someone does steal a few bucks off you, there's no reason to get paranoid.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

Yup That email address is still correct.

And yeah, DonGringo is right, it should be only 15-20 minutes for that by car (I'm so used to taking the bus, cheap bastard that I am).

And Don, of course there are many areas of centro that I would avoid, especially at night. And of course, anyone would be well-advised to be "very careful" in general. Duh. I get the feeling, though, that Portena isn't going to get hammered and go wandering into the zona tolerencia looking for tranvestite hookers. Neither is she likely to wander off into Las Cruces looking for a nice coffee shop. Probably, she's not going out clubbing in Egipto. Do we need to cover anything else? OK, fine, Calle 17 between Carrera 4 and 5 is not your friend at night - take Calle 18 instead. If you're going to walk from Macarena to Candelaria at night, take Carrera 5 and walk around the university. Avoid the mall on Carrera 7 around Calle 24 at night. Etc etc etc...

Unlike your Colombian friends, I actually do walk around downtown alone at night, and I'm gringo, so according to your theory I should be even more of a target than them. So I think I can reasonably tell Portena that paras are NOT going to stop her car and kidnap her on the corner of 19 and 10, and it should hardly sound like I'm being a pollyana.

Wait a minute... GiB - is that you?!?

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

Safe until it's not Right, the odds of being robbed out of the car are a little higher... so take all the energy you spend on worrying about getting hit by lightning and add a few percentage points of worry on top of that, and you'll be at exactly the right anxiety level.

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

Yes and No Yup, I'm that goosekirk, and thanks...

Nope, you really don't need to worry at all about the route from the airport to the hotel. My guess is the driver will take Calle 26 (Avenida El Dorado) for about 45 minutes, then turn right down Carrera 10 or 13, left at Calle 19, then right at Carrera 4 and down to the hotel. Nothing to worry about whatsoever.

I've been here a long time, and your risk of getting robbed out of a car in Bogota is low enough to forget about it. Might as well worry about getting hit by lightning or slipping in the shower. This is Bogota, not Caracas.

Like Gator says, the hotel is fantastic, and you should have a great time. If you want someone to show you around the neighborhood, I'll play tour guide for an afternoon one day (I'm such a sucker for a compliment).

goosekirk comments on Ok - another safety question

La Candelaria Having lived here for a year, I can say that the security situation in La Candelaria continues to improve. Four years ago, I was nervous walking around here alone in the daytime, but these days I have no qualms about wandering around alone at night. Your mileage may vary.

goosekirk comments on Pisswater in Colombia

That's great news for all the Colombians who find Aguila Lite too flavorful.

goosekirk comments on Villa de Leyva - travel guide

Ostrich Farm, El Fosil y El Infiernito At the Ostrich Farm, you'll see a short film about the ostriches, and then you can mingle with some of the adolescents. Adults are too aggressive to get close to, but the younger ostriches are curious and somewhat friendly. Don't wear shiny baubles, and be aware that the ostriches may very well "bite" at you. They may seem a little scary, but their bite is really nothing more than a pinch. They're interesting animals and it's a worth a visit to be able to get so close to them.

At El Fosil, you can buy some gorgeous fossils and rocks for very cheap.

El Infiernito is a little more interesting than just a Stonehenge. There is an astronomical clock, but more fun is the field of giant stone phalluses, apparently intended to bring fertility to the crops from the feminine sun. And is that one of the phalluses in the courtyard of the Convento del Santo Ecce Homo?

goosekirk comments on Vida Extensions

Listen to Gator, people. COLOMBIA IS COLOMBIA.

Rmykita, you're asking for a definitive answer to a question that seems like it should have one, but DOES NOT.

Bickerss and Gator have been clearly told it's six months per calendar year. I've been very clearly told it's six months out of any twelve-month period. Well, "clearly" isn't the right word... I actually watched four DAS officers argue about it for a good fifteen minutes. In the end, they very clearly enforced the six months per twelve rule on me, and among the many travelers I meet, that seems to be the most common interpretation.

It's up to the people in DAS to enforce the rule as they understand it. Maybe you get someone who says six per calender, maybe you get one that says six per twelve.

I know many people who've simply overstayed and paid their fine, and they rarely have a problem... except for going to the airport expecting to pay the fine there. You may get lucky, but the smart thing is to go to DAS first and negotiate your fine. Once paid, as long as you're not some kind of suspicious character and don't act like a complete asshole, it's no big deal to overstay.

goosekirk comments on Budget Accomodation in Bogota

hotel v. hostel The Platypus Hostel is the default hostel in Bogota, and it's in La Candelaria (www.platypusbogota.com). There are a variety of hotels in the area as well if you want to go real cheap. Hotel Aragon, El Dorado, International, Gun Club... take your pick.

If you want a nice hotel, the Hotel El Virrey on calle 18 near Septima is the best deal in the city - 45,000 pesos per night, and it's quality.

goosekirk comments on clarification on tourist visa

Ha I watched four people in the DAS office argue about whether it's six months for any twelve-month period, or six months per calendar year. They concluded it's six months out of any twelve, but it appears there's some confusion, so it's always worth trying.

Fines can be negotiated. It all depends on the mood of the DAS official, and how sympathetic you can be.

goosekirk comments on May 28, Election Day is Here

El Desayunadero de la 42 This would be a lot more interesting in person. If there's any meeting scheduled to hash out some politics, I'd sure like to be a fly on the wall - somebody drop me a line at goosekirk at gmail.

goosekirk comments on To Whine or Not To Whine……To Accomplish or Not....

Gee I see far more whining about whining than actual whining. Talk about boring.

goosekirk comments on

Dunno... I happened to catch one of the deleted posts, and I found it both vulgar and insulting, as well as totally offtopic. Thanks for taking out the trash.

goosekirk comments on What kind of housing is available in Bogota?

Candelaria La Candelaria is not a barrio I would ever describe as 'very safe.' First time in two years in Colombia I ever had a knife pulled on me was while walking in a supposedly decent part of Candelaria at 11PM... with two other people, even! Everyone knows it's not very safe at night, and even the unarmed beggars can be aggressive and irritating during the day. I enjoy the funkiness of La Candelaria, but it's not for everyone.

goosekirk comments on Experience with US Embassy in Bogota.

Sweet! I'm with UC... although I can score my own perks, I just wanna know, how high would these girls bid? Then I can tell my girlfriend I'll cut her a special deal. Half-off, your very own gringo fiancee, today only!

I have a feeling I will be accepting payment in dirty looks. Not as good as cash, but I take what I can get.

goosekirk comments on What a People's Army Gets You

Good point Yeah, as a gringo, I do kind of feel like sticking to 'fuck politics' is the smartest course of action.

I'll have to add 'fuck football' too. I was just walking down the street with a Canadian guy who was wearing a football jersey for some Colombian team. Some drunk guy accosted him and started messing with him for it. In a friendly way, I mean, but still.

goosekirk comments on

Cobras I'm kind of surprised the Colombians aren't operating Cobras. Bahrain, Jordan, Pakistan and Greece all fly Cobras, and Turkey is supposedly building Super Cobras under license. The US lets those people fly Cobras, they have no excuse for denying Colombia.

Although, I suppose there is a cost/benefit issue to consider. It isn't cheap, and I doubt the guerrilla have many things that you really need a Cobra for, like armored vehicles and hardened bunkers. Interestingly, the Cobra also has a decent air-to-air and anti-radar missile capability, which also aren't really needed in Colombia. If all they need is some suppressing fire for troop carriers, then a couple of Blackhawks with mounted M60s should do the trick at a fraction of the cost.

I suspect they'd get more bang for their buck with a couple of AC-130s and some Predators.

Oh, and the US Marines still operate Cobras. Apache is Army, but the Marines are still flying, upgrading and introducing new versions of the Super Cobra.

I recently saw an Mi-8 cruising over Bogota. There's a cheap alternative to a Cobra... one of those and crates and crates of hand grenades!

goosekirk comments on Implications for Colombia if the US attacked Venezuela?

Keep watching the news... you'll see more stories about how Chavez is a dictator and how he supresses dissent in Venezuela. Just noticed one story where they implicated Chavez in the big cocaine bust in Mexico recently - Chavez and his terrorist pals, the FARC.

Dictator, drug dealer, terrorist-supporter... I can't believe anyone can't figure out how the US will justify removing him...

(note that I'm not attaching any judgment to these claims, and I don't really care how true or not they are... the interesting aspect here is simply how the US will go about getting rid of the guy)

goosekirk comments on what gringoinbogota has to understand is that...

Man Now I almost feel guilty about being a drogadict, paedophile and teenage mass murderer. Wish we'd signed that Tokyo whatever so I could feel better about myself. Good point, though... all this complaining has really been cutting into my raping and family-killing time. I hardly even have a chance to squeeze in a good kitten-strangling anymore!

goosekirk comments on What a People's Army Gets You

Tertius Thanks for that. Good stuff.

I guess I assume the FARC are responsible because A) I don't hear anyone questioning it, and B) I'm still pretty pissed about the hand grenade thing. I'm like Yossarian, I take that personally. As far as I know, they caught the perpetrator and he was FARC. And C) I don't believe, in general, FARC leadership is all that concerned about civilian casualties. I think it's been demonstrated in the past that they're not above torching buses and killing civilians, so why not now?

The only reason I questioned it at all was because it just made absolutely no sense. Such an attack is nothing but counterproductive for the FARC. If they are that self-destructive, it's a wonder they've managed to stay alive for so long. Everyone I've asked here have simply said, yes, they are that stupid. Hm. Maybe so. But Reyes doesn't sound like an idiot in that interview. A little too pat, yes, but not like a total moron.

I still figure it could have been a little cell of anti-government college kids, or even a rogue FARC element that wasn't connected to the leadership. Who knows.

But my money's still on the FARC being stupid, just trying to show the people that Uribe's security policies haven't been so effective. I understand that if you flip that coin over, it's as Reyes is saying and it's the government trying to show that they need more security policy. Whichever is true, it's equally monstrous, and when it comes down to it, we'll never know the truth... which points me back down the 'fuck politics' road. It's entirely plausible that any of these explanations are true (and I bet the real truth is even weirder than we can imagine), and that sort of implicates all the various groups as being potential assassins. There's no good guys, just shades of bad, and you can shade those any way you feel like and probably be perfectly accurate, depending on what day of the week it is and which way the wind is blowing.

In fact, just thinking out loud here, it occurs to me that as successful as this conflict is for the US, the Colombian government and paras, and the FARC... it wouldn't be surprising if there was some collusion between the government and FARC...

Uribe's in his office on the red phone:

URIBE: Hey, Raul, election season's coming around and things have been awful quiet. Help a brother out? Nothing too big, you know, just a little somethin' somethin'...
REYES: I'll see what I can do. Say, you haven't noticed a container full of Israeli-made M-16s sitting around anywhere, have you?
URIBE: I'll see what I can do. Well, see you on the field of battle!
REYES: Ha ha!

They both light cigars with 50,000 peso notes...

Crazy? Maybe, but this isn't half as crazy as the things that went on between Russia and Chechnya, and there wasn't even billions of dollars at stake, and the players genuinely, passionately, religiously hated each other. This war has no reason to exist except for power and money, and all sides have a vested interest in keeping the gravy train rolling.

Did you know that as part of the hike to the Lost City, you can get an optional tour of a working cocaine lab? Um... that strike anyone else as a little odd? I think that's para territory, which means the army/government won't screw with them, and those people are probably getting their cut... and if Venezuela or the Pacific coast are the big exit points, that probably means at least working with the ELN or FARC to transport it. You've got people in the government taking drug money with one hand and counter-drug money with the other, and people from one faction shooting at the other one day and making a business deal the next, and then back to shooting. Who knows who talks to who.

Anyway... enough idle speculation.

Tertius, I'm extremely interested in what you said here... 'Volunteer a little time to work with communities in FARC territory'... I would very much like to know how to go about this. Care to elaborate?

goosekirk comments on What a People's Army Gets You

Arguing on the internet is like... 'Could have been Elvis, also, but i would put my money on the opinion of the people there who have the responsibility for the investigation.'

And so would I, which is why I called FARC certainly the most likely culprit. Did you catch that part, where I wrote that?

But I haven't seen definitive proof that the FARC are responsible and nor has the FARC claimed responsibility. For all we know, it could be disgruntled ex-paracos wanting to put a little hurt on FARC, knowing they'd be assumed to be responsible. Seems far-fetched to me too, but are you telling me something like that is just as crazy as seeing Elvis? Need I remind you this is Colombia?

Tell me, does the government have any evidence whatsoever that someone from the FARC did this, or do they just assume? Because I think they just assume like the rest of us, and it sets off red flags for me when they say they know, but how could they? And it would be pretty stupid to just accept as gospel anything the government tells you. Of course the FARC are likely responsible, but I don't think anyone can say for certain yet, and I think that needs to be recognized.

In the US, we're careful to use words like 'alleged' and 'suspected' before something is proven. I notice they don't do that here. Something goes boom and ten minutes later they call it a FARC bomb, and as an American, without that 'alleged,' my tendency is to assume they must have proof. Surprise! They can just call it a FARC bomb, and we all go, OK, it's a FARC bomb. But you have to stop and ask, where's the evidence of responsibility, let alone the proof?

'if you can promote the concept that to kill a head of state like Uribe make sense, to kill/maim government members and civilians in social setting...'

So you're telling me that I'm promoting the concept that FARC members should come kill me with a hand grenade. Yeah, that makes sense.

This is clearly a case where you're reading something into what I wrote that is patently not there. I've re-read that section trying to figure out where I went wrong and if I should rewrite that to be more clear. I probably should expand on FARC tactics and rationale, but even as is, I think the point is abundantly clear. I don't see any need to dumb it down. If you don't get it, then I guess you're not my audience.

'Issues are readily identifiable, and the solution is obvious. Sort of like the concept that an executed murderer will not return to kill any one else? Kind of harsh words for the timid, and those who lack intestinal fortitude...'

Let me guess, the obvious solution is, kill all the FARC. And when you're done killing all the FARC, kill all the people in the group that takes the FARC's place. Good luck with that. You know who's been successful in recent history in quelling armed insurrection by force? Nobody. Hell, when Chechyna first got uppity, Stalin packed up the entire population into boxcars and moved them to Siberia, and later, when the population returned, Russia turned most of Chechnya into a giant smoking crater. Guess what, Russian airliners are still getting blown out of the sky and schoolkids are still getting massacred. You might have also heard something about some problems or other in places called Vietnam, Somalia, Iraq and Afghanistan. What is it about Colombia that will make the job of 'killing all the insurgents' so much more possible?

China and Iran have done bang-up jobs forcefully putting down unarmed resistance, if you'd care to follow their examples, but no one's succeeded in a purely military victory against insurgent forces in quite some time. Colombia's certainly been sucking ass at it for forty-some years. If you have some 'obvious solution,' I suggest you get on the horn with the Pentagon, pronto, because they don't believe it can work either, and it's not for lack of intestinal fortitude.

'...To be complacent and to acknowledge the hopelessness of life is not an acceptable option.'

Now here we agree. This is excellent rhetoric, and I support it. It is not, however, what you could call a recipe for change. And in fact, you're contradicting yourself... you tell me I have no right to 'complain' (what you call my writing) if I'm not doing something, then when I ask what I should do, you tell me I should write ('complain'). Okey-doke. I'll get right on that.

Anyway, rhetoric and two bits will still buy you a cup of tinto, but without even a vague course of action, it's just a circle jerk. With coffee. Which I'm down for, but let's not pretend it's something more grandiose than it is.

goosekirk comments on What a People's Army Gets You

Don't read too much into it I'm not talking about government conspiracy theories. All I'm saying is, who knows? Could've been a couple of bored kids. Gang violence. Organized crime, wanting to shake down the people who own Transmilenio. Of course, all of that's unlikely, but the point is, not impossible. I don't think it would matter how crazy the real story was, here in Colombia, people would just shrug their shoulders and go, hmph.

And I don't happen to have an opinion about Uribe, except that he seems to be doing good work. 'obviously you dont like Uribe' shouldn't be obvious at all, as I think 'drop a hand grenade on my rich gringo ass' is obviously not meant to mean that I advocate someone actually do that. Nor am I rich. That statement is to contrast the logic behind FARC attacks, and show that the Transmilenio bombing has no logic.

I don't see me complaining or whining about my inconveniences. You devoted all that time to assuming I hate Uribe based on that one little sentence?

I also doubt that prostitutes in FARCland exist solely for guerrilla. Supply and demand. Your statement would suggest that no men except those from the FARC want to sleep with prostitutes, and I think that is highly doubtful. I think the National Geographic article I got that information from was probably quite accurate, and that as much as I hate the FARC, that doesn't mean they don't do some things in a decent way. Blind all-encompassing hatred for your opponent doesn't do you any good whatsoever, and doesn't help you understand the issues you need to resolve in order to beat them.

I agree with this:

'I think second to FARC, the biggest obstacle to Colombian freedom is the corruption of the government officials, which seems to be inherent like a cancer. Makes US Congress and US politics look amateurish at best.'

And I hear that from most Colombians as well.

But this:

'my feeling that one shouldnt complain unless one is doing something to fix the problem.'

I can't agree with. I don't feel like I'm complaining - in fact, on a personal level, I rather enjoy the insanity of Colombia. And it's easy to be preachy, but what exactly would an extranjero do to fix the problem here? Pick up a gun and kill me some FARC? Wear a pro-Uribe t-shirt? What are you talking about? I literally ask every Colombian I get to know what they would do to fix the problem, and I haven't heard one good answer yet. Mostly they say, the problem is not solvable. I hate to think that way and must believe that a solution exists, but I don't know what it is. What've you got?

goosekirk comments on Implications for Colombia if the US attacked Venezuela?

Bound to happen Egging the ambassador's car was cute, but crazy. Chavez is sticking his head in the lion's mouth. Anybody remember Panama? Noriega was somehow involved in narcotics and he rigged an election. The US stepped up provocations of the Panamanian military until an 'incident' occurred (someone got shot) that allowed them to justify invading.

(and by the way, the 'provocations' were described to me by a couple of US soldiers who were there and took part)

Noriega kicked out the DEA and is widely believed to be permissive and possibly complicit in drug trafficking and is referred to by US officials in a very negative light as to the legitimacy of his presidency. Haven't they already started calling him a dictator? He's also believed to assist the terrorists in Colombia, and the US is nothing if not proactive in the war on terror.

The USS George Washington cruise is very significant, in that this is the first time a major naval exercise involving a carrier group has taken place off Venezuelan waters. This is the strongest message the US sends to a troublemaking country - it's a clear warning and a threat, as well as an opportunity to provoke mischief from Chavez. By testing the boundaries of Colombian airspace, the best thing the US could hope for is an overzealous Chavez ordering his pilots to confront US pilots engaging in an 'exercise' over international waters. It probably won't happen, but who knows.

The US has all the justifications they need, based on what they've used historically, and now all they need is one incident to use as the trigger excuse. Egging the ambassador is harmless in itself, but it's a slippery slope from here to some American getting killed, and then it's lights-out for Chavez.

It wouldn't be a full-scale invasion like Iraq. It'd be closer to Panama, only with the modern special forces, more surgical. No doubt, Washington already has the next Venezuelan leader already picked out. Such an invasion would be over relatively quickly and, using lessons from Iraq, the Venezuelan military would be quickly pacified - mostly bought off and reasoned with before the invasion, and any elements of the military that couldn't be bargained with would be quickly eliminated. Remember, these guys are still in play from the failed coup, so it's not like it'll take much. Native unrest and irregular forces would be put down by the complicit Venezuelan military. Colombia's guerrilla forces would be entirely inconsequential, only offering a feeble verbal threat before returning to their regular narcotrafficking, kidnapping and idiotic terror activities.

Colombia's role would probably be fairly minimal and unpublicized. If they can't provoke Chavez from the sea, and they probably can't, possibly an incident involving an American unit along the Colombian/Venezuelan border would work. I imagine something like a US Special Forces team helping track narco-terrorists fleeing into Venezuela gets fired on by Venezuelan border guards might do the trick. I thought I read the other day that Bush is pushing Congress to allow the US military to be more actively involved in Colombia, so that would fit. More likely, though, is something involving the diplomatic mission in Caracas, especially now that that train is already rolling.

Whatever happens, I don't see where an attack would do much for Colombia, except suddenly Venezuela would be much friendlier towards Colombia and less friendly to the FARC.

If you don't think this is not only possible, but in fact likely, you're not paying attention. You may have noticed this president isn't shy about using military force to solve a problem, and Venezuela is a very important problem for them that will get resolved in the next two years, one way or another.

Just my prediction...

goosekirk comments on what gringoinbogota has to understand is that...

OK So there's crime in Podunk, Missouri. There's crime in Colombia. If we can somehow quantify exactly 'how dangerous' each is in relation to the other, then how would that get me safely home from the bar? Would this information help me understand how to go out and take pictures on the street 'safely?' Will this give me some ideas about how to behave if I get stopped by an unknown armed group at a checkpoint?

Oh, I get it, if we spend all our time here pointlessly arguing about it, then we'll never leave the house and be perfectly safe, no matter where we live. Good plan.

goosekirk comments on

OK, it counts. I've been here as a visitor, too. Good times. Never a problem. By the time I got here the first time, I'd studied the history and political situation of this country, and I talked to everybody I met about it. I drew diagrams. People told me over and over, wow, I never met a gringo who understood things so well. I don't doubt that, but it still doesn't mean that I really understood this country.

I maintain, by the way, that you can't do that without at least living here and without having read 'Catch-22.' Not that I've got all the answers, either. I don't think anyone could. But that's another topic.

Visitors should be reading and posting here, and telling about their nearly universal lack of problems. It's especially good for people coming here for the first time who are scared because of all the bad publicity. They think it's Iraq or something, but for the first-time visitor, it's a lot safer than they probably imagine.

At the same time, I'm grateful GiB posts here to remind people this isn't all happy fun land. I think a foreigner spends a week here and has an incredible time and there's never any reason or really any opportunity to go deeper. Even for someone here for longer, I know from experience how easy it is to get complacent. The Colombian people are so cool and everything is so laid-back and normal... at least GiB keeps us all thinking about these things.

Personally, I've done all kinds of stupid things here. I think I've done all the normal stupid things, and then I've done stupid things that are even far and way, way beyond the normal stupid things, and I've never had a problem here. That doesn't mean they weren't stupid, and that Very Bad Things couldn't have happened to me many times. It is very easy to forget that here. That European guy who got kidnapped and killed after bragging about how rich he was... I'm sure on the plane ride over, he wasn't thinking, hey, Colombia's a great place to go get loaded and brag about how rich I am. People forget. Reminders are not necessarily a bad thing.

goosekirk comments on

Back to pow wow To take this thread back to what pow wow was saying...

I think pow wow has a point here, but I wouldn't call it paranoia. I was just reading about the recent University of Michigan survey, where they mention that something like 82% of Colombians say they don't trust other people. No dar papaya, and all that. And yet, they're so happy...

I think the eternal safety debate on this board is in itself an accurate reflection of the state of Colombia.

When bad things happen here, it seems like they happen without any sense at all. I've heard all sorts of crazy stories, and when I share them with Colombians, they are never surprised. This country has a long history of some of the worst brutality that mankind has ever devised. Terrible and insane things have happened and continue to happen here.

At the same time, the people are so great and the general vibe of Colombia is so wonderful and intoxicating, it's easy to forget that anything bad happens here at all. That's far more true for a foreigner here.

I think when Colombians seem 'paranoid' about crime, they're really just reminding you that this isn't paradise and don't be a fool. GiB has obviously had a more colorful life than most of us and is more attuned to that way of thinking as well. It's not that GiB or his Colombian friends are paranoid... it's just that when you live in such a complex environment, it's natural to remind one another to be careful, don't take things for granted, keep your guard up, no dar papaya. Doubly true for a foreigner.

I was walking on 15th one night with a Colombian friend, at about 3AM. He told me that in years past, he would never walk around at 3AM like that... but now, hey, no big deal. Everyone will agree that security has greatly improved here, and Colombians will tell you that it's safer now. But at the same time, they'll never not tell you to be careful.

I can't speak to whether or not there's been an increase or a perceived increase in crime lately, as it's not something I really bother to discuss with my friends here. But would it be surprising if true? No, it wouldn't, and THAT SHOULD BE THE POINT.

I'm continually surprised that there are millions and millions of people living in hopeless poverty in this city and only a small pocket of wealthy people that don't seem all that well-protected, really, and yet not much seems to happen. I think what people on this board don't realize is what's possible here. If you understood that, you might not be so quick to jump all over GiB.

goosekirk comments on Bizzaro world exists in colombia!

bufalo could you send me an email at chris at kirk dot net? Couple things I want to ask...

goosekirk comments on Bizzaro world exists in colombia!

Cool I'd be really interested in seeing this... are you in Bogota?

goosekirk comments on

What I've learned after a year and a half in Bogota is that I don't trust anything. FARC burned a couple of buses? OK, probably. Doesn't make any sense, but people tell me the FARC are ignorant, so I guess it doesn't have to make sense. But we'll never know if it really was the FARC or not.

Someone says something is safe, another is dangerous, whatever. Safety is such a ridiculous concept. Sure, I'm not going to hop a bus down to Ciudad Bolivar and go out drinking alone - stupid is stupid. You do reasonable things like don't take a cab off the street between 11PM and midnight. Keep an eye out if you want to use an ATM. Try to keep a low profile and don't advertise that you're some kind of rich gringo. Be aware when you're not aware. I don't feel as safe in Colombia as I felt in Olympia, Washington... but I feel more safe than I felt in Flint, Michigan. Yeah, bad things happen, and maybe they'll happen to me. Maybe not. Big deal. What are you gonna do.

My biggest concern in Bogota is getting killed or messed up just stumbling into traffic. Almost did that one day while talking on a cell phone - talk about one stupid gringo.

But, the point is, I don't trust when Colombians tell me they know what's going on, I don't trust when the government says it, I don't trust when statistics say it. This country is way too complicated to rely on any single source, and even if you gather all the information you can from every source you can find, you still won't know much. I heard a story from a military contractor a few years ago about being in a club in 82 when it got raided by police and special forces. Apparently, a couple of FARC were in the club with pistols and were planning a shooting spree. Huh, didn't read about that in the tourist brochure. And certainly no Colombian has ever, ever, never ever told me, don't go to the BBC because a hand grenade got dropped there. Well - I'd say a hand grenade going off next to a propane heat lamp is pretty goddamn dangerous, so where were all these people with their dire warnings that night?

Now, when I'm walking around alone with my camera and a stranger approaches and tells me it's a really bad idea to be where I am, and if I really want to be there I should only come back with at least 4 or 5 people - that's good specific advice, and I listen. I knew I was pushing my luck, and I knew he was right.

Bu the doorman says I shouldn't go walk around Unicentro or La Carolina at 3AM because it's really dangerous? Um... alright, I'll just take that under advisement, thanks.

But in general... pfff. Whether the FARC blows you up or Al-Qaeda sets off a nuke in New York harbor or a guy blows your head off at an ATM or you suddenly keel over with a aneurysm, you're just as dead.

No doubt, as the election approaches, bad things will happen here. You can stay home and keep the blinds closed tightly and sleep in the bathtub, or you can realize that you might as well try to predict where lightning is going to hit, nobody knows anything, and just get on with your life.

That's what I see the Colombians doing, anyway.

But... let me just say this, that GiB performs a valuable service for this board, by at least forcing people to keep thinking about personal security. Us civilians don't have force protection guidelines or access to spiffy intelligence to keep us on our toes. Love him or hate him, I think it is easy to get complacent here... at least GiB's posts keep that in check and provide some balance. And as far as I'm concerned, anybody who doesn't live here has no business arguing with him.

goosekirk comments on Santa Fe De Antioquia

Hotel and bridge I have some photos from the Hotel Mariscal Robledo and Puente de Occidente on my site... http://www.pbase.com/goosekirk/colombia - Santa Fe de Antioquia is a beautiful place.

goosekirk comments on Should I be afraid of the police?

From my experience The Colombian police and army will go out of their way to not hassle you if you look foreign, like GiB says. Long as you don't do anything blatantly stupid, you don't have anything to worry about with them.

goosekirk comments on FIRST WARNING

POP Personally, I make a habit of POP at the airport. They work for me. Their job is supposedly to make things safer, but they suck at it. I can't fire them and I don't have the authority to fix the system... best I can hope for is if they walk away feeling a little bit more tired, angry, or irritated than me, then I win. And that's not hard to do. I'm actually quite a patient guy, and I like to win.

Did you know the TSA maintains two special passenger lists? There's the no-fly list of people who aren't scary enough to arrest, but too scary to ever, ever let on an airplane. Then there's the special list of people who will probably be allowed on an airplane, but they'll always get the super-special search. Nobody knows the criteria for getting on these lists, who's on them, how you get off, who decides, NOTHING. There's no oversight and if you attend the wrong peace rally and get put on one, there's nothing you can do about it. There's no due process of any sort, just some mysterious person or group or agency who gets to decide who's suspicious and who's not. To me, this is a police-state restriction of travel and should be absolutely illegal. It's insane that the US has sunk to this level and no one cares.

So I did what I think every American should do - I wrote the TSA and volunteered to be on the Super Top-Secret Special Search List. Not that I've ever actually attended peace rallies or anything, but I might, and in this day and age we just can't be too safe. I think everyone except Pat Robertson should be on the list, although I asked for clarification if it'd be my patriotic duty to report my subversive friends and neighbors, or if that'd be un-American. I never heard back from them, so I'm still not clear on the right answer there.

I did get the special search a lot after that, which I especially enjoy because I get to help waste time and money and it affords an opportunity to make a TSA worker's day a little bit worse, up-close and personal. If you think about it, there's lots of creative ways to be irritating, creepy, and infuriating... it's hard to be AS irritating, creepy and infuriating as post-9/11 airport security, but I think it's my duty to try.

One easy example that anyone could do - when I fly, I usually have a large carry-on that's got dozens of pockets and zippers and compartments. It's great. They're supposed to search it thoroughly during the special search, but this bag just has too many pockets, so I like to help them out. I'll keep pointing out pockets they missed or may have missed and I'll continue going over the same ones, wasting as much time as I possibly can, until they get annoyed and make me leave. Sometimes they get pretty pissed off, but I just play dumb and cheerful - hey, I just wanna make sure I'm safe! Who can argue with that?

OK, so I'm a jackass about this stuff. Still, it's depresses the hell out of me that a guy like Dave, above, gets one strip search and then cows to an illegitimate authority. The original poster is supposed to PROVE that he's not going to get off the plane in Houston and go get a job? From CANADA? That is RETARDED. It's stupid. Ridiculous. Absurd. Get the thesaurus and apply all the similar words, they all fit. A complete and total waste of time and money. A very expensive airline ticket apparently got burned for absolutely not a ounce of reason or sanity, other than some tool who barely qualifies for a job washing cars felt like it, and there was nothing the original poster could do about it. It's arbitrary and irrational. It does not one bit of good and a whole lot of bad. And yet Americans just roll over and lap it up. Why? I don't get it. The America I thought I grew up in wouldn't tolerate such incredible BS.

That's partly why I'd rather be in Colombia. The US sure isn't the country of Steve McQueen and James Dean and Humphrey Bogart anymore. That myth is dead, and it's been replaced by something fat, docile, fake, greedy and stupid. It used to be Lauren Bacall and Katherine Hepburn, now it's Anna Nicole and Paris Hilton. Humbug.

goosekirk comments on Cali becomes more and more dangerous

Yup A few months ago, I met a girl getting off the plane from Cali who'd seen a guy get assassinated right in front of her while waiting to board the airplane, and then the cops shot the assassin.

I just spent a fine evening talking with a person who had to flee Cali because of death threats. The way she described it, it sounds like a real Wild West town over there. Her stories were impressive. I don't have much worry in Bogota, but I'd definitely be on my toes in Cali.

goosekirk comments on FIRST WARNING

What? They prevented you from getting on the airplane because you had a nine-hour layover? What, only the terr'rists have nine-hour layovers now? What airline was this, and was it the airline or some kind of government official that did this?

goosekirk comments on Que significan . . .

Colocho? Y por favor, que es un colocho?

goosekirk comments on Sailing from Cartagena to Panama

What about passport stamps If you do this, how do you get your passport stamped? Or does that not really matter?

goosekirk comments on Update On Three American Contractors?

I heard I knew a guy who claimed to arrange payments for hostages. He was a real mountain man and had some pretty impressive business cards in his wallet, so I give him a decent chance of being at least somewhat truthful. He told me he knew a woman who'd seen these guys last year. Even pulled out a map and told me the general area where they'd been spotted, and he figured they'd very likely still be alive.

For whatever that's worth.

goosekirk comments on The Bravest Colombian in my Book

I saw Bravest guy I ever saw was a blind guitar-player playing for change on the buses. I saw him with his cane, wandering the sidewalk, trying to get a bus to stop. Cynical guy I am, I wondered if he was really disabled... but sure enough, you could see that his eyes were messed up, and unless his acting was truly exceptional, he had absolutely zero eyesight.

And then he played and sang BEAUTIFULLY. It was the first time I'd heard a singer on the bus that was really incredible. I gave him all the change I had.

After he got off the bus, I realized I should've gone after him and talked to him. I mean, I feel really proud of myself that I can navigate Bogota's mean streets and buses, and I can freaking SEE. He's out there wandering around, getting on buses by sound and then asking people where he is when he gets off. Talk about huevos. I can't even comprehend how difficult this must be.

After he got off the bus, I was just sitting there thinking about what a remarkable human being I'd just encountered, and I was pretty much awestruck.

Then, a few blocks later, another blind guitar-player got on the bus.

goosekirk comments on wonderful photographic portraits from Bogota

Phenomenal Amazing work. I'd like to do more portraits in the street like that, but I feel like I'd need a Colombian friend with me to watch my back and talk to the people for me. Something about it just feels so awkward to me... the "rich gringo" with a fancy camera wanting to take pictures of street people... it kind of makes me cringe. I wonder if this photographer gives money to the beggars.

goosekirk comments on Going to Colombia

Alright, seriously Iceman: people LIKE Americans here, and they WILL know you're American no matter what color contacts you buy. Well, some might guess you're Italian or French or British if you dress half-decently. But still, just forget right now about blending in, 'cause A, it ain't gonna happen, and B, there's no point.

I wanted to wear Colombian clothes the first time I came here, too. I even packed light, anticipating buying local garb. Here's the catch: you want to dress like a local, just go to the Gap. If you plan on buying clothes here, you're just going to be buying the same crap.

goosekirk comments on Going to Colombia

Good point I've been living for Bogota for a year, and I've picked other Americans out of a crowd just by body language.

Best thing Iceman there could do would be colored contacts, a wig, some kind of tanning pills, a priest's outfit and a wheelchair.