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elmodefoque has written 272 posts
Colombian uncle/tio
Being that I've never followed any Colombian traditions and chit, I have a question for those that do. When are you too old to call your uncle, tio? These last few days I’ve been talking business with my uncle in Barranquilla. It feels very uncomfortable and odd to continue calling this modefoque uncle since I’m an old modefoque too and to top it off, he looks younger than me. What the fok do I do? ...
COLOMBIA, 2 completely different people under one flag
Not to hijack the Bogotá Danger thread, if I may, please let me go into further detail the incredible differences between these two Colombian regions. For those new to this site here we go. Cat this will answer many of your questions. CACHACOS Cachacos are people from the mountainous and jungle area of Colombia. Such cities as Bogota, Cali, Medellin, Tolima, Bucaramanga, Pasto, Pereira, Villaviana, Manisales, Tunja, Popayan, Neiva, San Jose Guavare etc. They are synonymous with words such ...
A Colombiano’s encounter with the Pope
So there I was, an hour ago, driving toward downtown Manhattan, NYC for lunch and drinks at my favorite Mexican restaurant. All of the sudden traffic comes to a complete halt, what the fok is this? I wondered, most of these fokin streets in the downtown area are closed. Why, who the fok is in town? Lord and behold is the pope. I’m not a religious modefoque just a bitter motherless injun heathen from La Guajira so this is not my thing, but apparently is huge deal for Catholics. So after a f ...
Avianca treats barranquilleros like second class citizens
So here I am trying to book a flight on-line back to curramba thinking the avianca modefoque I spoke to earlier this week made a mistake and that in fact they still have direct fights to Barranquilla from JFK. I’m normally a very mellow happy go lucky kind of guy, few things piss me off but this chit me saco el indio. I’m mad as hell and aint gonna take it anymore and I hope avianca officials reads this chit (please don’t delete) Let me give you a little history, first of all it was B ...
Mi gente de Curramba
Missing my people. The warmth, the music, alegria y orgullo del barranquillero. ...
baseball in Barranquilla, NOT like Yankee stadium
gee, where are the guys selling $7 dollar hot dogs and $4 dollar peanuts?
Colombians in south Florida
Just got back from Miami and let me tell ya, the Colombian presence or as some call it INFESTATION is nothing less than SHOCKING and ALARMING. This INFESTATION is so rampant that Junes, Carlos Vives ands Shakira seem to be only musicians heard non-stop all day long coming outta local south Florida spic radio stations. I think I heard that new song from Juanes, the one about Bogotá and Medellin a million fokin times .Not to sound too damn regionalistic or nothing like t ...
that explains it! no wonder i can't get enough of broads
Indian DNA links to 6 'founding mothers' By MALCOLM RITTER, AP Science Writer Nearly all of today's Native Americans in North, Central and South America can trace part of their ancestry to six women whose descendants immigrated around 20,000 years ago, a DNA study suggests. Those women left a particular DNA legacy that persists to today in about about 95 percent of Native Americans, researchers said. The finding does not mean that only these six women gave rise to the migrants who c ...
CLIENT #1
So there I was watching TV eagerly waiting to find out whom Shanikwa’s baby daddy was on the Maury Povich show and suddenly the program was interrupted by a News Alert “Governor of New York caught soliciting prostitutes��? a subject I’m quite familiar with. It’s refreshing to know that most Democrats only get caught cheating on their wives with younger broads unlike most Republican who get caught cheating on their wives with young gay modefoques.. Anyways, I just can’t con ...
And now the end is near And so I face the final curtain.. I did it my wayyyyyyyy
As of Friday I will be one unemployed NYC toilet attendant. My plan is to go back to my country and pursuit my career but if I can’t find work there then I’m just gonna sit around drinking beer and playing dominos outside a tienda on the corner of la calle 66 in Barranquilla. My posting days are number, but I will love to keep in touch and possibly meet you guys visiting or already living in the sunny Caribbean coast of Colombia. My personal e mail is malpariohp at yahoo.com In the near f ...
LIVE FROM BARRANQUILLA
so threre i was having breakfast with miguel at out favorite Hotel in Curramba. Around us are horde of grngos and euors while upstairs in my bed 2 whores awaiting. The euros are easy to spot they all got Marty fokin Feldmann eyes. Thank you and good nite and good luck! ...
Colombianas in NYC, part IV. A Recap. Final installment of a series titled “Colombians in USA
Hey! Where is my recently imported colombiana? In Colombia she told me she would be happy living in Mount Pilot, N.C, as long as we are together. Now I heard they saw her waitressing in Queens.
a 3 days before i land in CURRAMBA JOKE
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a gr ...
GREATEST CARNAVAL BARRANQUILLERO SONGS OF ALL TIME
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GREATEST COSTEÑO SONG OF ALL TIME, LA OPERA DEL MONDONGO
The video has NOTHING to do with the song. This is the greatest song to come outta the Caribbean coast of Colombia. LA OPERA DEL MONDONGO ...
Thanks Chavez!
Can we show a little appreciation and gratitude to Mr. Chavez for facilitating the release of the 2 hostage and hopefully assisting toward the release of other captives. Thanks Chavez, you pinko commie modefoque ...
Colombianas in Connecticut/Part III of the series “Colombianas in USA‿
The colombian population keeps moving north, soon it will reach the Canadian border.
Colombianas in NEW JERSEY/Part II of a series “Colombianas in USA‿
Hey modefoque, what the fok is up with colombiana in USA and where the hell are their beloved gringo sponsors?
Damn if I know?
...
colombianas in queens
hey modefoque, what happens to all them thar colombianas after they get to NYC? here they are, on the shoulders of colombianos celebrating julio 20.
Over a million colombians in queens get together once a year in flushing park queens.
Another half a million get together in New Jersey the same day, and still more keep coming, How?
By telling gringos they hate colombian guys and don't care to come to USA, looky them now
By elmodefoque on 2008-01-08 05:12:53. 100 comments.
What do costeños do in the winter?
They take their ass to El Rodader, Santa Marta, a little over and hour from Barranquilla.
Warning to you romantic gringos
Let me make this very simple. In my case: Any young hot Colombiana (in Colombia) willing to jump in the sack with me, is a pre-pago or INTERESA what ever you wanna call her, she’s only after my money. I repeat, any young hot broad willing to jump in the sack with me does not have honest intentions. Why? Because I’m way passed the CUTE/HANDSOME stage of my life, I should be in a nursing home drooling, playing dominos and not chasing young CHUCHA. Now in most gringos case and I’m ...
What do hard core genuine colombianas REALLY REALLY WANT?
Hey modefoque, since you think you know all about colombianas, what kind of guys do they REALLY REALLY want, soon after making it across the USA border. (see below) Well from what I’ve seen in most parts of curramba, this is the kind of guys’ barranquilleras REALLY REALLY LIKE, A MAMA GALLO, GREAT DANCIGN MOVES and it don't matter if he is MONDAO (NOT MUCH CASH) The same type of guys I see colombianas in queens making goo-goo eyes at, while we (old modefoque and young body builde ...
Que es lo que tiene, el carnaval de curramba
with navidades and ayño nuevo outta the friggin way, empieza el carnaval de barranquilla 2008
Household items to bring to Colombia
So there I was, slowly taking shit down, pictures, articles, etc. off the wall of my tiny dark basement office behind the boiler in anticipation of my return to Barranquilla. Over the years I collected a number of tools both rechargable battery and 120 volt. One item I used often at work but I can’t take with me, it belongs to the company is my beloved Roto Rooter snake. That baby has unclogged the worsts clogged fokin toilet I encounter, it has never let me down I’m not thinking too ...
I aint a sex tourist no more
So there I was thinking how wonderful is gonna be NOT to be label a sex tourist anymore. Now I will become a very proud sex resident in Colombia. Though I’m not officially fired from my job as of yet, I see it coming within the next couple weeks and soon after that living in curramba for good around mid march. For this coming Carnaval I will still fall into the sex tourist category. I'm writing this to let other sex residents presently in Colombia know that I will soon join them and ho ...
Christmas in NYC and Barranquila
So there I was, it was the day before Christmas and I’m sitting in my penthouse looking outside at fokin birds. I‘ve not left the apt. since Wednesday, not even showered so I stink the likes of a Spanish sailor… Needless to say, I’m bored chitless, the last time I got any CHUCHA was a long long long time ago, mid November. I was supposed to go shopping with my ex wify but instead ended up in an hourly motel, the ones on the Jersey side of the George Washington Bridge. Right now ...
Barranquillero under attack, defending my honor.
If you go back and carefully review all my 93 thousand comments and posts you’ll see that most topics have to do with the lack of free Colombian CHUCHA at my disposal, due to my race. Most middle class Colombianas would rather give their CHUCHA to gringos and that’s a fact and the reason why so many travel there. Ok, some claim to only like Latin women, well plenty of Latin women in Puerto Rico and New York City, why not come here? As for me blaming the “evil white man� that could not ...
The making of a Colombian USA raised modefoque
So there I was thinking about my demise and how I might depart with many unanswered questions. How did I end up like this and what and who influenced me the most in my life? My undisputed PRIDE comes from my maternal Wayuu grandfather, he installed in me lots of justifiable hatred in my heart, which gave me the wisdom to avoid and be vigilant and strike back at those that have done my people wrong. During my most impressionable teen age years in USA I met two guys in their late twenties, ...
An encounter with a beautiful Colombian girl
My favorite colombiana of all time. Close your eyes and imagine the ultimate Colombia girl, a native injun girl from La Guajira. She wears a nano miniskirt, all you see is a pair of copper tone healthy athletic legs with high heels. A very short blouse exposing her flat sexy stomach. Her hair is long silky and jet raven black. She looks at you with mysterious dark injun eyes. She says very little and speaks mostly with her eyes and moans. The neck and shoulders are her most erotic spots, yo ...
Queens, New York, cachaco center of the universe
So there I was, it was almost 9 pm on a cold Wednesday evening in NYC. I just left a bar in the village with my 22 year old brother in law. That young guy gets drunk with only 2 fokin beers, I need 2 six pack just to feel a buzz. He wanted to watch a soccer game. Medellin was playing another Colombian team for some Colombian title, not sure what. Told him you aint gonna find this chit here, best bet is to gotto Roosevelt avenue in Queens, millions of paisas live there. Keep in mind this mo ...
TV in luggage to Colombia
Finally, I got a real genuine question. Can I bring a brand new 32 inch LCD TV, 36 pounds well protected in my luggage to Curramba? I was told to remove from box so they know is not for sale. This chit is for me and me only and not to make a few lousy bucks. The question, have any of you guys out there ever traveled with a TV in maleta? ...
looking out my penthouse window in NYC
So there I was, counting the days until my return to curramba. That’s it!
Desperately seeking colombian friends
So there I was, at 2:13AM and I can’t fokin sleep. Soon my life will take a drastic change and many things are racing thru my head. Leaving NYC after nearly 60 years from the age of 10 is not an easy decision. I’m committing self deportation back to Curramba. Right now my biggest obstacle, are friends! I don’t have one single Colombian friend. Outside of family members I don’t know any other Colombians and I can’t count on my gringo buddies to be around all the time. I will h ...
My bar in barranquilla
So there I fokin was in bed and just finished watching “I love New York‿ she’s down to 3 guys. Following my nightly routine I pick up my I pod to listen to my ALL TIME favorite song “Don’t Fear the Reaper‿ by Blue Oyster Cult. Closed my eyes and thought about chit to do once I move back to Barranquilla. I already have a Taxi but also need something I woud really enjoy as a side business venture. Is no secret that I don’t know or care to know Colombians, I prefer hanging out wi ...
wayuu colombia/venezuela
thanks webmanco! ...
A Colombian's view on American and Colombian politics
So there I fokin was, looking out my NYC penthouse window at that nasty snow bored chitless and thinking about what Aztec had suggested, join the Republican party. That got me thinking so I began to weight options, republican or democrat The republicans are a group very wealthy shrewd businessmen backed by the mighty Christian Bible belt moral majority also known as the “attention Wal Mart shoppers‿ same people that elected Bush not once, but twice. The only cool republican support come ...
For Colombians thinking of migrating to Europe
I’m a notorious news junkie and pretty hip to current events. Though I don’t particularly care to discuss political or racial chit I’ve seen a number of Colombians having no way getting into USA, opting to migrate to Europe and just outta concern for them I’m sharing this tid bit information of what to look forward to. For some time now I’ve seen this news item from Europe, is a political add put out by the most powerful party in this country. I don’t know about you, ...
a NYC joke, jijijijij
A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darling," he whispers, "I know dis your first time and you berry frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask ...so...what do you want?" he says, tryi ...
Driving a taxi in curramba
So there I was, talking to my nephew regarding my business venture, in this case my taxi in Barranquilla. So far all is going smooth with occasional bumps here and there. I’m a little concerned over the situation as far as having a driver in case my nephew’s old lady has a little corroncho modefoque during carnaval . Any of you gringo modefouques know how to drive manual transmission. We definitely have a car but we might need a fokin driver. I know my way around but can't drive stick ...
Colombia or USA, where to retire?
Some here are reaching that age when a very important decision has to be made. Where to retire and what do I want most in my retirement. Some seek peace, quite and safety. Best place for that is Boca Raton, Florida. Some seek to spend the last remaining years drunk and with hookers. That be me! And for that, the best place is Colombia. What are the cons living in a third world? For some, safety is an issue. For others like me, safety is no issue, broke ass family is the issue. ...
happy turkey day for you gringos
10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE 1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything. 2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your butt down u ...
back to curramba
...
Apartments in Barranquilla
Please allow me to be serious as a heart attack. Due to unforeseen developments at work, I might be moving to Barranquilla much sooner than anticipated. Before I decide to plug down 60k or 70k USA dolaretes to buy a nice Apt. in Curramba I wanna first live there for 6 months to see how this chit is gonna be like. My biggest concern about living in Barranquilla is my family. Half of my family are low life desperate poor modefoques and I hope they don’t think I’m moving down there ...
Typical Barranquilleros found on every corner in Murillo
You guys wanna see straight up south barranquilleros, how they look and dance? ...
Colombia as seen through Injun eyes
I’ve seen more than enough posts of Colombia as seen through blue eyes and what they see is a paradise of friendly people and especially friendly chicas. I get many PM from non blue eyes folks who see Colombia much different. Yesterday, this person was kind enough to share how he sees Colombia through his black mans eyes. With his permission, here it is: Hi Elmod my name is XXXXXXX and I am a black XXXXXXX(Caribbean Island) living at this time in Medellin. I must be very honest with ...
Sick or not so sick sexual fetish
I described what I thought was a sick fetish, which was to wear my aunts silky, smooth, very thin see thru panties while fully aroused at the tender age of 7. Any other sick modefoques out there or ladies with odd desires. ...
Colombian in-laws in NYC
Tomorrow arrives my wify’s mother, father and two brothers straight from medallo. What to do? What to do? How the fok they got a visa to visit, you’re probably wondering? Simple, they got money. Anyway these are not Jaramillo paisas but Costeَño paisas. All the kids born in medallo and parent from Cartagena and Sagu? Por alla por esa monda en Sincelejo. ...
Who has fewer whites?
Don’t know about you guys but I find this so interesting. While the south American third word fights each other claiming to have most whites, in the first world nobody wants that honor. What the fok is that about?? Argentina proudly claims most whites so does Uruguay. Colombians in Bogotá are running around claiming to be Nazis and all that chit. Meanwhile, New York City, London and Toronto proudly claim they aint got no whites. I’m fokin confuse here. ...
Barranquilla or Medellin?
I don’t like one bit the way USA is heading, everything us bleeding heart liberals worked so hard for in the 60’s is going down the drain. They've found hanging nooses (symbols of hatred) and swastikas in one of the most prestigious university in USA, Columbia University, located 10 blocks from where I reside in the most liberal, diverse city in the world. In other states ( red states) this is no big deal, is the norm BUT NOT in NEW YORK FOKIN CITY I’M OUT!!! Ok, I could leave within ...
Mexico to run most of the cable business in colombia
Superindustria y Cntv dieron vÃa libre a compra de Teledinámica Carlos Slim, principal ‘cablero’ de Colombia Se confirma la noticia publicada por EL HERALDO hace 7 meses: el magnate mejicano, con su empresa Telmex, domina el 54.49% del mercado nacional de TV por cable. Barranquilla, sede de nuevo canal internacional. Telecaribe tendrá dentro de muy poco su nueva sede en la vÃa a Puerto Colombia. Por R. SARMIENTO COLEY La Superintendencia de Industria y Comercio dio vÃa libr ...
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