Crazy4Cali has left 1126 comments

Crazy4Cali comments on Traveling to Cali 7-months pregnant. Is there a reason to be nervous? Cancel?

If you're not planning to deliver and your doctor is confident in your and your baby's health, what's the problem? I would give your doctor's opinion more weight than your sister-in-law's (unless she's some healthcare professional, maybe).

Crazy4Cali comments on How much did it cost and how long did it take?

too much and too long. waiting sucks.

Crazy4Cali comments on Cali - how good?

I don't think Cali, in and of itself, has much to offer. Certainly nothing that you couldn't find anywhere else in Colombia (or the world). It's a large city with something like 2-3 million people so you're sure to find whatever it is that you're looking for, in some form or another.If you know someone or have family, then it's got all you need to get by, so long as you don't mind living in a large, run-down city with lots of un- and under-employment (and all that that brings with it). Cali is Cali. Truer words were never spoken.

Crazy4Cali comments on Fiance Visa process..................

If she is going back in Nov. then read up on what docs you need from her for the fiance visa application and get those before she leaves. Do some reading here on this site and on VisaJourney.com. If you need someone to tell you the step-by-step process, you'll probably have better luck hiring a lawyer. If you're up for doing some research, the details are there to be found and it's not that complicated. Heck, you could probably start the process while she's still here. Once you start the process, however, don't plan on her returning on her tourist visa. There's a better than 50/50 chance she could be denied entry while the visa is pending. On the other hand, the fiance visa is almost a sure thing (compared to the tourist visa). Just remember that she can only have one visa. If she is approved for the fiance visa, that will replace the tourist visa and the next time she goes back to the U.S. the USCIS will expect it to be a permanent visit. Of course after she gets her green card (3-6 months after she gets to the U.S.) then she can travel and return to the U.S. without a problem.

Crazy4Cali comments on Can anyone answer this

They can come back for another 3 months (up to the 180-day limit) on a tourist entry/visa without any problem. As far as dual citizenship, I think both parents have to be Colombian citizens and if he's male, you might want to wait until he doesn't have any military obligation. Just my $.02 from the cheap seats

Crazy4Cali comments on Safe Travel for Females

Well, I don't know your dad or your last name, so it's entirely possible that you could be kidnapped leaving the airport. Like anything, while the random odds of any one person being kidnapped are small, the specific odds of YOU being kidnapped or worse depend on a lot of specific factors that only you (or your Dad) know. It could very well be that your Dad knows something we don't (like maybe he's received threats or information of threats) and he isn't telling you. Or he could just be a big-fat chicken. You know better than we do.

Crazy4Cali comments on Unlocking a blackberry

I have AT&T/Cingular and just called them up for the unlock code. They gave it to me with no problems. I punched it in using the instructions from the web page linked above and all went perfectly. I took it to Colombia and put in a pre-paid Movistar SIM chip and it worked fine. I didn't have access to all the blackberry data features like I do in the U.S. but as a phone it was just fine. I suppose if I had got a different plan I could have used the data features but all I really needed was a phone with a Colombian number.

Crazy4Cali comments on getting visa for boyfriend

Look at the "timelines" on VisaJourney. They have the differnt phases of the process listed by name. Then rummage around the site for others who have recently finished or are in the process of getting a visa for a Colombian citizen. There're you'll get an idea of the different steps and what's involved. For me, it was like doing my taxes: lots of detailed bureaucratic stuff but not particularly complicated. Find a couple of couples on Visa Journey who are in the various phases of a Colombian application and follow their progress. That was a big help for me (and a great way to make new friends).

Crazy4Cali comments on getting visa for boyfriend

Read VisaJourney over and over (and over again). You'll find new little nuggets each time. RE: the application process: 1st: You fill out the I-129F (he has to send you a couple of things by delivery service like DHL of FedEx. DON'T use the Colombian mail.) 2nd: He has to collect a bunch of documents. Look up "Packet 3" for the list of what he'll need to provide. 3rd: You need to collect a bunch of forms and papers to send him for his interview at the embassy. Start looking up what you need and collecting them. Some can take a month or two to obtain. 4th: Get used to not hearing any news or any information about how it's going. 99 times out of 100, things are moving along just fine even if you haven't heard anything, but that doesn't make it any easier. Good luck!

Crazy4Cali comments on Safe Travel for Females

My $.02 is with Robert Jorge. a) Bogota isn't any more dangerous than, maybe L.A. (California). If you know your way around it's OK, if not, well, you pay your money and take your chances. I've been there several times and I'm currently in Cali, and I didn't get kidnapped the minute I got off the plane (neither did my family or anyone else I saw get off the plane). Sure you can get into trouble if you don't know your way around or actually go looking for it, so it's not "perfectly safe" but then I wouldn't say that about NYC or LA, either. b) My guess is that if your Colombiano wanted you to visit him here, he'd be helping you make plans and reservations and helping to get you familiarized with the airport, taxis, etc. before you come here. That he's telling you it's too dangerous is actually telling you volumes about him and his motives (as well as his collection of Colombianas). Read the writing on the wall and don't let him break your heart any more than he has/will. Buen viaje.

Crazy4Cali comments on getting visa for boyfriend

Just one anecdote for the hopper. I filed the first pile of papers (I-129F) in Feb 2005, my wife (then fiance) entered Aug 2005, we were married Oct 2005, she recieved her work permit in Dec 2005, and green card in Mar 2006. We did this all ourselves (i.e. no lawyer) and the cost for all this (not counting trips to/from colombia) was on the order of $1,500 (I don't recall, exactly), but I think they've gone up since then. But my comment from the "cheap seats" is that I'd be careful of advice from friends and relatives or at least double and triple-check their work. The papers you'll be signing to sponsor your boyfriend carry some serious responsibilities and liabilities. If this aunt is the same one who has been giving your boyfriend advice, I'd be extra cautious. Also, be EXTRA careful of any shortcuts that might be promised (e.g. the come on a Tourist visa plan). I don't know about you, but this is your future that you are gambling with. No Thanksgiving dinner party is worth the grief of taking a shortcut that results in deportation and a 10-year (or worse) ban on re-entry. Take your time, do it right. An extra month now seems like forever (many of us have been there), but it's much better than a lifetime of looking over your shoulder wondering which tax return or job application will be the one that raises the red flag. Good luck!

Crazy4Cali comments on Solidarity among English Teachers

Raising the awareness of unfair or deceptive practices is certainly a worthwhile goal. e.g. listing companies or practices to watch out for. But part of the problem might simply be unsophisticated negotiation skills on the part of the teachers. I mean, if the company says "Will you work for $x" (regardless what $x is) and the prospective teacher says "Sure, why not? it's only for a couple of years." What's unfair?

Crazy4Cali comments on Solidarity among English Teachers

As long as there is a surplus of labor (more teachers than posts) and/or the teachers are in a disadvantaged position (e.g. they are working without a visa or contract) then it's only natural they'll be exploited. Teaching english is not the only profession to suffer this so-called injustice. Just or unjust, you can take it or leave it. Most seem to take it (however unfair) so there you go. cderekbower has the right idea, but I think is missing the point. Whatever you do, you need to make management think THEY are winning. I.e. what's in it for them. I'd guess that without superior strength, you need superior strategy. If you can't pitch your changes in such a way that management sees the advantage to change, they won't hear a word you're saying.

Crazy4Cali comments on We got to meet the Colombian Army

RE: Digital cammo. The soldiers at our spot check had the new digital cammo uniforms. Overall, they were pretty well dressed: clean uniforms, good (not polished) boots, unit patches, etc.

Crazy4Cali comments on San Andres Resort Sunrise Hotel/Resort Seems very Nice online...

San Luis? When we were there a couple of years ago, San Luis was where they seemed to stash all the pasty-white, extremely overweight gringos/euro-travelers. We figured they kept them there as a way of trying to hide them because San Luis is a ways out of town. I can't speak to the hotel itself, we were just passing by on a quadrimoto.

Crazy4Cali comments on Cell phones in Colombia question

Tienes razon, pedro. It's a pretty good deal as long as you have a compatible phone. But, even if you have to buy a cell phone for another 60K ($30), it's still not too bad if you're going to be here for a while. We bought our cards on my wife's cedula. I'm pretty sure you can get them with a passport, if you are from another country, but I can't swear to it.

Crazy4Cali comments on Cell phones in Colombia question

We just got into Cali this weekend and the first thing we had to do was get some local cell-phone numbers for our phones. After a little looking around, we found that Movistar had a promotion going where you could get a prepago SIM card for your GSM phone for just $10,000 COP. They also had a promotion going where, if you bought a card for $10,000 COP, they'd credit you with $30,000 COP of time. So, for $40,000COP we got two local numbers and $30,000COP of time. Normally the airtime is $499COP/min but with this plan, you can call 10 numbers at $199COP/min so, unless you have a lot of amigo/as... Anyway, neither of our phones are "blocked" (i.e. locked to a particular cell phone company), so we just put in the chips and we were local! all for just $20 USD.

Crazy4Cali comments on How to comfort girlfriend about going to Colombia by myself...

Why are you going to Colombia for two months? I mean, business, school, pleasure, a LOT of pleasure? Are you going to stay with friends, family, in a local sorority house? There are a lot of variables. Colombia can be a very dangerous place (relationship-wise) if you are the least bit inclined to look in the general direction of a Colombiana. In reality, most of the stories are NOT exagerated (although I don't know what stories she's heard). In all seriousness, if you value your relationship, postpone your trip until you both can go. If not, well, then do whatever you want. Just be prepared to find your stuff in a pile next to the front door when you get back. It might be a good idea to put it in storage while you're gone to save the embarrasment of sifting it out of the dumpster. Que le vaya bien.

Crazy4Cali comments on K1 VISA ENTRY

When my wife applied for the AOS we also applied for the EAD and AP. In 2005/6 that cost about $800. She got the EAD and AP within about two months. I don't recall citing any exceptional reasons for needing the AP, but we might have put that her father's health was iffy and that we planned to return. (Plans can change, of course). We must have hit it at a good time, because she filed all this Oct 2005 and by Mar 2006 she had her greencard so, in retrospect, she really didn't need the EAD or AP. Of course, if she hadn't filed for those, we would have needed them. So it goes. While this experience is now a couple of years old, I do know that making plans in anticipation of what the USCIS may or may not do (or when they might get around to doing it) is still very risky. You can never tell with them.

Crazy4Cali comments on Ladies, Do you want to work as an English Teacher in Cartagena with room and board included?

This is such a shock for my gringo sensibilities I'm not used to seeing a "help wanted" ad for anything but "dancers" (strippers) and "escorts" (hookers) or "models" (hookers) that uses "ladies" as the first word in the ad, let alone the title. Almost any help wanted ad in the U.S. has to say EEO M/F (equal opportunity employer male/female).

Crazy4Cali comments on not paying USA alimony and living in Colombia

You can run... Well, I'm no escape artist, but if you're running from your wife and ultimately the law, you might want to find a country that doesn't have an extradition agreement with the U.S. As others have said, you'll probably also want to abandon the idea of ever returning, as well which presents some logistical problems (e.g. money). And don't forget the implications in your new home of being out-of-visa status.

But, what about your money?

Leave your money in a U.S. Bank? how long before the ex starts to garnish it?

Leave with a duffle bag full of cash? If you can make it to your hotel in Colombia with the duffle bag intact, you'll be fine until you're robbed or you run out of duffle bag, which ever comes first.

Then there's the worst-case scenario, the spiteful ex finds out that in Colombia you can have your dirty deeds done dirt cheap and she makes a couple of phone calls (and the last thing you see is a flash from someone on the back of a moto...)

You might want to think carefully about your plan.

Crazy4Cali comments on Passion alone won't rescue Colombia from its narco-economy stigma

Silly tourists Cartagena is in South America, not Colombia.
Colombia is far too dangerous to take a Cruise Ship to!

(I remember seeing a caribean cruise ship itinerary that listed the countries for all ports except Cartagena.)

Crazy4Cali comments on Immigration help - please! Attorneys welcomed...

RE: timelines... I don't know how things are going now, but when I filed, the fiance route (get married in U.S.) was a bit faster and easier than the spouse route (get married in Colombia).

Realistically, the only way to speed the process is to be prepared and have all your (and her) documents in order in advance. If you need an attorney to help you do that, that's your call, but many (most?) just spend a few hours doing their homework and do it themselves. Visa Journey has a lot of information and recent first-hand accounts of the process. Because the laws and experiences change from month-to-month, more recent experiences are going to be more valuable than stories from a year or two (or more) in the past.

Also, realistically, the fastest fiance visa I heard of was about 3 months (they had everything going in their favor). More normal is 6-8 months with 12-months not unheard of. It all depends on your situation and your preparation. Whether an attorney can add value or just take money depends on your individual circumstance.

Crazy4Cali comments on US / Colombia PreNup

In the U.S., this varies by state I'm no lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that the community property laws (i.e. those that decide what's your's, mine, and ours) vary from state to state. As I understand these, a pre-nup can't sign away anything to which you (or your spouse) would otherwise be legally entitled to so they are, at the very least, an identification of the seperate property (and liabilities) that each person is bringing into the marriage. So that if you should get divorced, all you have to argue about is the community property and alimony/"spousal support."

You can read whatever you want into the implication of having a pre-nup. You can view it as a suspicion (or proof!) that one or the other has no faith in the relationship and they are simply planning for the inevitable divorce or take a more mature view and treat as two people who care about each other simply being honest and open with each other. It's that attitude that will determine the success or failure of the relationship, not the presence or absence of a pre-nup.

Crazy4Cali comments on DRUGS

RE: My friends from Costa Rica tell me... Yeah, the ticos like to blame everyone else for their problems. It's the Colombians! It's the Nicas! It's the Gringos...

Yeah, right. Claro, los Ticos son santos!

Crazy4Cali comments on Safety in Colombia

I dunno... The U.S.A. looks like a pretty dangerous place. I think I'll head down to Colombia where there are fewer incidents.

Of course, Cali is the only place I've been, so far, where I've actually heard a bomb go off. Spooky....

But, hey, just by living, you have a 100% chance of dying, sooner or later, so you might as well make the best of the time you have.

Crazy4Cali comments on

Whoa there big fella... I never said you (Mario) were deficient in any particular moral category. I don't even know you!

I just said, "it would all depend on..."
Which one of those criteria apply to your case (if any) is for you to decide. I really don't care.

And Mr. Hollywood already commented on the interest rate.

Crazy4Cali comments on

I suppose... I suppose it would all depend on:

a) how much you/she owed
b) how much family and property they still had in Colombia
c) if you ever planned to return to Colombia
d) if you had a conscience and/or believed in karma
e) to whom you owed the money

(not necessarily in that order).

Crazy4Cali comments on Mexican tourist visa for Colombians resident in the US

Same goes for Canada if you're heading in the other direction.

Crazy4Cali comments on intimidation at us embassy

RE: intimidation I went with my (then) fiance to the embassy in Bogota for her K1 interview. I think she would have done fine without me there, but I'm glad I went for both her benefit as well as mine.

The embassy people OUTSIDE the gate were rather confused (i.e. stupid) and a bit impatient. This might have intidmidated my (then) fiance, but I just kept ignoring them and going where I thought we should go (which was where we were supposed to go, in spite of all the "help" we got but the staff outside the gate.

The Embassy people INSIDE weren't the friendliest in the world, but they were very polite in that official, "hurry up, there's 400 more behind you in line" sort of way.

At the windows, the woman who reviewed our documents barely looked at us, while the one who did the second interview (the thumbs up or down, one) was very polite.

But that's just our experience, there are lots of people working there so I would imagine that they run the spectrum. I sure wouldn't want their job.

Crazy4Cali comments on Vista release version

Purchasing software I don't think that you should ever buy or install software, especially an OS, until you absolutely need it. When that is varies from person to person. Unless you have some compelling reason to buy it when it first hits the shelf, e.g. to develop new applications for it, or to use a feature that hasn't been available earlier, then you're almost always better off waiting.

Vista comes with a lot of new features and technologies (some better than others) so, it may be just what you need. I will agree that you'd better have a muscular machine. 1GB and 2GHZ is the minimum for any reasonable performance.

Me? I'm waiting. I finally got my 4 and 6-year old computers to work well with XPsp2 so I'm not about to rock the boat with a new OS.

Crazy4Cali comments on

Then again... RE: What ever you do...don't touch her friends.

Sound advice, but consider this... her friends might also make up a story just to liven things up for when she returns. In that case, you might as well have done what you'll be found guilty of. (Who do you think she'll believe, anyway?) While, they are tightly knit group, some are definitely not above, um, creative story telling.

On second thought, maybe you'd better just buy those tickets and join her while there's still time.

Crazy4Cali comments on

That he is even asking... That he is even asking for advice is a sign that not all is as he would like it to be. (IMHO)

Crazy4Cali comments on

6-weeks? ...and you didn't go with?

Hmmmmmm......

I realize this isn't what you want to hear after you just watched her plane leave, but, even though I don't know you or your wife, I'm with the majority on this one: a 6-week "solo" vacation is not a good sign.

You could surprise her and show up at her house, next week. Say that you missed her so much that you just couldn't leave her in Colombia all "alone." Of course, it could be that if you show up unannounced, you might be the one who is in for a surprise.

As to what I would do? I can't say. Neither my wife nor I have considered such a vacation. For us, if we can't all go, then we all stay. I do know that in other relationships when there was a need for "solo" vacations, it was because there were problems in the relationship that were being avoiding and that would ultimately lead to disaster. The solo vacations were just a symptom of a much more serious problem.

Crazy4Cali comments on U.S. college grad looking to move to colombia, how to pay up loans?

But... the more important point that Panaca hasn't mentioned is whether or not he/she wants to go back to the U.S. That might influence the priority of paying off the loan.

Seriously, I think it would be better to just stay in the U.S. another year and clear up the debt before going to Colombia where a foreigner has a very slim chance of just making ends meet, let alone paying off a student loan.

Go down for a month or two (or whatever you can afford) to scope it out, make some contacts, try it on for size, come back, pay your bills and maybe save up some extra money (by living very cheaply...good practice for when you move to Colombia) and then go back when everything is ready.

Crazy4Cali comments on divorce part 2

Lawyers If you have to get divorced it's better if your wife hates your lawyer more than you hate hers.

First decide if you want to do it or don't. Be thoughtful, but then be firm and don't look back. (Angels today, devils tomorrow?!)

I don't know how things work in Colombia, but in the U.S. you're much better off NOT sending a dime to her until the dust settles. Let her and her lawyer quibble over the money (if there is any). Any thing you send now, for whatever good you think you are doing, will just bite you in the ass now and later.

If the court (or YOUR lawyer) doesn't tell you to send anything, DON'T!

Good luck!

Crazy4Cali comments on tripreport

Thanks! That's much easier on the eyes.

And it was an interesting story as I suspected it might be.

Crazy4Cali comments on tripreport

Interesting post... I think. At least it might be if I were able to read it.

Headings or, at least, paragraph breaks would make it easier to digest. For me, the words just seem to run together into a big blob.

Perhaps you could edit it to add some breaks?

Crazy4Cali comments on any relationship advice?

You can't really believe anything that starts with "ALL" All men, Colombian or otherwise, don't do anything (other than be male, perhaps). Some men cheat. Some women cheat.

Some like the hunt, more than the feast. The best you can do (assuming you don't want that lifestyle) is avoid, or at least not get too close to, those kind of people. Unfortunately, it can be quite a rush to hunt and it can be quite flattering to be hunted.

But that's where the heartache comes in. Some women think (i.e. believe with all their heart) that once they are hunted, their superior attractiveness will be enough to change the man's ways. It won't, at least not for any period of time. Look at Hollywood where you have the most attractive of the most attractive. Those relationships don't last a TV season.

So women get into a serious relationship with these hunters, they think they've changed him (heck some even marry them!) and then, suffer the shock and dismay that he's still the same hunter, out looking for another. Wake up and smell the coffee, girls!

On the other hand, if you can give them what they want, which is usually not a whole lot, they'll stick around and give you what you want in the relationship. Men really are like dogs and, like dogs, it doesn't take much to keep one, but it does take the right ingredients and you can't skimp.

What many women don't understand (or like to admit) is that men REALLY are as simple as they look and nowhere near as complicated as women. For many, if they have some food, some time to themselves, some time to be guys (e.g. watch football, make model airplanes, or whatever they do to be a guy), some space to show you they love you (in whatever way they feel comfortable) and most importantly, some reason to feel important and needed (i.e. keep their ego fed). Most will stick around and be happy to be there.

If you take any of those away, then you're looking for trouble but you probably won't ever see it coming and he probably won't know enough to tell you...except to tell you he's leaving.

Crazy4Cali comments on Colombiana psychology - help

RE: Communication.... RE: "6 of 10 marriages here in the USA between two Americans(born here and who speak perfect english) Fail..."

Communication skills require more than language comprehension. Sometimes speaking the same language just makes it more difficult because you think you know what they are saying whan all you understand are the words.

Crazy4Cali comments on HELP...Girlfriend from Colombia does'nt want to go back!

RE: very close.... RE: "We have become very close and there is the possibility of marrage between us."

You have a month to decide if there is more than just a possibility. I don't know how ready (or willing) you are to get married but I do know that if you let this deadline rush you, you'll probably regret it.

If you're "meant to be" then her going back to Colombia will be a short, but comparatively minor, inconvenience that keeps her tourist visa and her future chances to come back permanently clean as a whistle. That way you'll know you two really want to be married and you won't have any legal hurdles to over come to make it happen.

She could overstay her tourist visa for a while while you figure it out and if you decide that you don't want to get married, she's sort of messed up her tourist visa (unless she just stays here to marry someone else or whatever), but you haven't messed up your life.

If you let these "dates" force your decisions, you run the risk of getting stuck in a position you really don't want to be. Only you can determine the risk of that. Worst case scenario you marry her, file for her AOS and then she leaves you for one of her hairdressers.

Good luck!

Crazy4Cali comments on Colombiana psychology - help

Move on. Trust your gut.

Let her want you.
If she doesn't, then you'll know where you stand.

Crazy4Cali comments on To cancel or not to Canel the Fiance Interview?

Ditto. She only has to bring the papers in the "packet-3" checklist to the interview. It's nice to have a backup copy of your papers "just in case" but, as RJ says, the embassy already has all of YOUR papers going into the interview (less the income/liability form).

Worst case scenario, the visa will NOT be denied based on a missing paper or form, it'll just be rescheduled so she can return with what you're missing.

Crazy4Cali comments on I have a question, why do these men have to go to other country for a woman

desperate...but not serious Yet another person who believes that everyone who lives south of the border is "living in desperation."

Crazy4Cali comments on Cartagena Needs Taxi Meters

We were just there last month... We were just there last month and I don't remember any outrageous taxi fares, at least none that weren't quoted in advance (right before we got out of the taxi). juanalejo's prices sound like what we paid.

Crazy4Cali comments on I have a question, why do these men have to go to other country for a woman

Someome is watching me... RE Poco's comment: ie:
U.S.
When will you finish xxxxxxx,, the place is a mess.
COLOMBIA
When you finish the xxxx it will be wonderful,, is there anything I can do to help.

I'd better make sure the webcam isn't on automatic. That sound just like my life (and why I'm more than happy with my Colombiana).

Crazy4Cali comments on I have a question, why do these men have to go to other country for a woman

Well, a study was published that explained one reason Las mujeres latinas son las más fogosas del mundo, según estudio con mayores de 40 años

Apparently, from the article, La fogosidad de las latinas adultas se constata con el hecho de que el 82 por ciento de las venezolanas calificó el sexo de importante en sus vidas, porcentaje que en el caso de las mexicanas llegó a 80 por ciento.

while in Italy and France, La baja apetencia sexual entre las europeas se constató también en el hecho de que, según la encuesta, 21 por ciento de las italianas piensan que el sexo es muy importante, solo el 13 por ciento de las francesas piensa igual...

Meanwhile, on this message board some American women are complaining that their husbands aren't bringing home the bacon as fast as they are. It seems, to them, it's all about money and power. Granted it's hard to say what percentage of American women this particular thread represents, but as an American man, if I ran into one or two of them, especially in a romantic sense, I would be seriously put off by the experience.

Crazy4Cali comments on Change fiance interview date?

I haven't tried, but I don't think that changing the date is a big deal. A fax to the embassy, perhaps, explaining that the beneficiary can't make it. All your paperwork is there at the embassy so you just need to show up and answer the questions.

Also, there's no reason for the sponsor to be there as long as all the paperwork is in order. If not, you might be able to clear something up. If you're missing something, then you're being there won't make a difference (other than to provide a shoulder to cry on).

When I was there with my fiance (last year) one couple was missing something and, while disappointed, they just needed to return the following month with the missing documentation. It didn't seem like a one-shot deal at all.

Crazy4Cali comments on I have a question, why do these men have to go to other country for a woman

Gosh, that'll teach me to show up to the party late... Cam summed it up so well that if anyone still has a question, they clearly weren't paying attention.

At the risk of echoing his post (though in a far less eloquent fashion) I'll only add that my two serious relationships with American women were competitions. We were always on opposite sides, even when we were in agreement (go figure that one out). Each had to constantly "prove" something.

"Marriage is compromise." "Marriage is work." they both liked to say. Not knowing any better, I went along until I couldn't handle it any more. Eventually (and with a lot of help) I figured out that marriage doesn't have to be a compromise and while there's a lot of work involved it doesn't have to feel like work. It turns out when you're both pushing in the same direction: a) you can actually go somewhere and b) it takes a whole lot less effort then when you are always trying to see who can push the hardest.

With a partner, it doesn't matter who makes more money than whom. That only matters when you are competing.

Bottom line, I didn't specifically set out to marry a Colombiana, but I'm glad the one I met and married has shown me how wonderful a marriage can (should) be.

Crazy4Cali comments on and another thing

I agree with JMCana I was one of those 15% who was dead or dying.

Fortunately my colombiana brought me back to life. It was a miracle!