costajunkie has left 85 comments

costajunkie comments on US Airways competing with JetBlue for Colombia routes

On a personal note, I would be turning cartwheels if US Air started flights to Colombia. Living in Phoenix (the hub and corporate offices) and flying so frequently, it would make my life so much easier. I am so tired of having to fly via MIA or JFK or LAX o lo que sea. Still I don't believe it will happen.

costajunkie comments on

If you're looking for peace and quiet and/or scuba diving, then Taganga is the place. There's a place called Hotel Ballena Azul which was pretty decent when I was there. They can also help set you up with diving and excursions. If you're looking for a party, a colorful place where colombianos go to unwind, then go to El Rodeadero. Scores of cheap but decent hotels and condos. My colombiana wife actually prefers this place to Cartagena - Cartagena is big and for foreigners, while El Rodadero is compact and walkable, geared more to colombianos with free time. One of the things I like best is that you can walk up and down the beach, watching and listening to the musicians playing and people dancing until the late hours and early mornings. Except for the cine and Bolivar's place, there is nothing of interest in Santa Marta itself. Also there are some ritzy resorts to the south of El Rodadero, but these places are expensive and isolated.

costajunkie comments on Going to barranquilla

Check that from my post above: The Vallclaire, not the Versailles. I have had friends stay at the Versailles and they said it was fine, but it is a hotel. If you're staying for some time, you might want something more like an apartment.

costajunkie comments on Going to barranquilla

There have been quite a few new hotels opening up around BAQ the past few years. I have an apartment now so I am not really up on the latest changes. I always put people up at the Versailles. This is where I put my family (my mum, sisters, friends) when they come to visit my wife and daughter (not enough room in our one-bedroom apartment). They have rooms with kitchens where you can cook and the staff has always been very helpful and friendly. Rates are about CO$110,000, but with repeat business they will usually lower it if you ask. I would stay away from the Alvaro Jesus as I despise these people. I stayed there many times about 4 years back when I was still courting my wife, but was severely disappointed with the service, attitude, and prices. They tried to double up the advertised rate on me the last time I was there because they said I used too much electricity (the compressor in the A/C was always running because there was barely any freon left in the ancient unit). These people get real upset if you stay in your apartment during the day (again because of the the A/C and the electric). Used to be family-friendly, but now it seems the attitude here is to cater to the mongering crowd.

costajunkie comments on

I have also wondered if it's rigged as my wife is addicted to this show. No matter what's happening, she drops everything and plants herself in front of the TV to watch. In all of the shows I've seen, no one has even come close to winning the 100,000,000. Still I must admit that it can be entertaining at times (certainly better than the constant barage of novelas). I especially loved the one where a woman was strapped in while her fiance and dad were present. She confessed to every kind of sexual indiscretion, one after another to make it to the big money. By her fiance's obviously crushed expression, she might as well have told all and at least gone for the plata. But when the host asked her if she had an affair within the past three months, she screwed the pooch and lied. So instead of winning something, she left with nothing and had a whole lot of explaining to do.

costajunkie comments on US Government is watching you!

I have a wife and kid in BAQ, but I live in the US for the most part. Over the past 6 years I can't even count the number of times I have traveled to Colombia (I am on my third passport). Only once was I passed to secondary inspection, and even here the guy didn't hassle me. He was married to a colombiana, and while my bags were being passed through x-ray, he completely ignored the screen, asking me basic info about the country instead. The real problem I have is when I walk across the border into Mexico and back (I live in Arizona). Here I have been passed to secondary inspection countless times, on two occasions even being physically searched. These customs guys are the real pendejos. Once one of the guys said aloud to his partner when I was crossing that he had never seen so many "flags" (whatever this means exactly) when he inputed my information. I guess it's different for everyone when entering by airplane, but when crossing by foot from Mexico after all of my Colombian travel it's a completely different story.

costajunkie comments on Feb 14 is near

It sucks for me... I have always hated Valentine's Day. And it is correct there is Día del amor y la Amistad in September (the date varies from year to year). Of course I never forget this day, but once I was feeling romantic and indulged her by sending her flowers and taking her out on Valentine's Day too. The next year however I didn't send them (Val's Day), and I was in the dog house for the longest time. Take it from me - celebrate Día del amor y la Amistad, but not Valentine's Day, or you will forever be committed to both!

costajunkie comments on Brief travel guide to Baranquilla

Real estate link Try this link:

http://www.mchaileh.com/?Lenguaje=Espanol

El Heraldo is what my wife and I used to buy our last two apartments, but this site will give you a good idea about homes and prices in BAQ.

costajunkie comments on DRUGS

From drugs to the Iraq War... perhaps meandering away (as is typical on this board) from the original post, but really these two topics have more in common than one would believe.

The Iraq War: a bullsh*t war if there ever was one, with all due respect to our fine soldiers serving in W's mess. I am somewhat of a "hawk" and a former military officer, but there was never a reason to invade this place. From the first days after 9/11, Bush was itching for a pretext to invade. The initial reason being a bogus al-Queda connection with Hussein, the only al-Queda group in Iraq was the Kurdish Ansar al Salam (sp?), of which Hussein had little or no connections or patronage. Later when world attention was fixed on Iraq because of W and his cronies itch to invade, it turned to the subject of WMDs (and we know what came of this). And instead of allowing Hans Blix and the world the time to investigate this possibility, we invaded nevertheless. "Shock and Awe" works fine when you're fighting an army that was a shell of what it once was, but when the battle is won, you need the boots on the ground to maintain order - not to mention completely disassembling the Iraqi army which would have been the key to maintain order after the government fell... and I can go on...

The war on drugs: billions of $$$ and countless manhours are spent in this endeavour... but what has it achieved? Nothing!!! Drugs still make their way here and are plentiful from Bar Harbor to Des Moines to San Francisco. Another bullsh*t war...

When are we going to read the writing on the wall, and begin to take a closer look at other options?

Legalize marijuana! We allow tobacco and alcohol to be sold, but this drug, which is certainly the lesser of these "evils". What hypocracy! Once again, users will use despite the consequences. The harder drugs? Why not take a more progressive approach, for example decriminalizing these drugs, perhaps diverting money from interdiction to counseling... and maybe at the very least registering users and supplying them with what they need to "maintain", at a price equal to what these drugs would really cost (as opposed to the street price). Instead we proscribe everything, throwing people in jail for using and stealing or worse to maintain their habits, spending more and more money, clogging our already overburdened courts and jails.

And last but not least... let's not forget the violence visited upon the people from where these drugs come from. Let's face it: North America's and Europe's drug habits fuel the violence in countries such as Colombia and Mexico as long as the profit motive is there, and it will continue without end until our elected leaders get a clue.

My apologies... I will step down from my soapbox now.

costajunkie comments on HUNTER OR HUNTED ?

But if you're finicky Mounting on the wall works fine for me... for awhile at least. However I invariably change my mind, get bored, and begin to explore options for the best fit: on the washing machine, on the kitchen counter, on the balcony, the bathtub... and even sometimes at my in-law's house. After 6 years, I still haven't found found the ideal place, but I keep trying...

costajunkie comments on Studying medicine in colombia

IMO: Not what it used to be Back in the 70s and 80s, Colombia was a very popular destination for med students from the US. In fact the schools were considered some of the best in the Latin American world that many of these students had few problems spending their last year in the US at an accredited school to finish out there degree, or taking whatever tests necessary in order to transfer and do their internship/residency here.

Unfortunately I just don't hear about this being a viable option. I don't know if it is the growth of D.O. schools here as an alternative path to practicing medicine (as opposed to an MD), the change in the system of American health care, etc, but my gut instinct tells me that this Colombian option is not what it used to be.

costajunkie comments on World's worst drivers

They aren't that bad And certainly they aren't the worst, and I do drive there. Yeah, the pass on the right, run red lights and stop signs, weave in and out of traffic, don't yield for pedestrians, etc, etc... but really how many accidents have you seen? And if you see an accident, have you ever noticed the relative lack of serious injuries/fatalities? The reason for this is that you develop an intuition for it after driving awhile... and if you get into an accident, it is usually at low speeds.

Compare this to the US with all the late model cars and the freeways. I drive the 101 loop in northern Phoenix/Scottsdale everyday, and here you got guys regularly traveling 90-100+/mph. God help you if you get clipped by one of these guys going these speeds... which did happen to me, spinning my late-model Lexus into the wall at 60/mph (a wonderful car, "in pace resquiat", but not before saving my life with a front and side curtain airbag...)

The freaky thing is driving in Colombia for awhile, and then returning to the US. Those who have done so know what I'm talking about.

The worst drivers in the world IMO? Moscow, hands down. Not only do they do all of the above, but they drive fast... and not only do they not yield for pedestrians, they speed up when you step in the street to cross, TRYING to run you over...

costajunkie comments on DRUGS

Many Colombians have no clue... ... about their infamous exports except how trafficking is done. Perhaps it's the company I keep (my wife's family is filled with Colombian police, GAULA agents, and a DAS agent (retired, mi suegro). They know the people and gangs that traffic in it, and for the most part my family has been pretty righteous as far as any temptations toward bribes, etc (except for a boyfriend, a cop, and father to my cunada's son whom my wife and I now take care of... said boyfriend was executed outside a club in Ibague for some reason that had to do with narcotics trafficking).

Even with this family pedigree of law enforcement, I am surprised sometime at their naivete about things that are taken for granted in the US. Once in Cali, staying in a hotel, most of the family came to visit my wife and me. As we left, the corridor was rank with the smell of mota, curling out from under the door of room of some Germans. I jokingly asked if anyone wanted to make a bust. NOT ONE OF THEM KNEW WHAT THE SMELL WAS!!! (They thought it was some strange incense.) Their reasoning: very few colombianos use; they spend their time and energy going after the traffickers.

Even outside my family circle, I have never known anyone who has used, but then maybe this is just my personal experience and the company I keep.

Final thoughts: The US war on drugs is a complete failure. Users will use no matter the consequences. Legalize marijuana, tax it like tobacco, and at the very least decriminalize all other drugs. Register users of "harder" drugs, supply them with what they need, and soon the profit motive for trafficking will disappear. Maybe then Colombia and other countries will see these viscious gangs castrated and fade, and then perhaps colombianos will know some semblance of peace at last.

costajunkie comments on D@M& Long Layovers (Share your horror story)

Both... Going to Guayaquil was on the menu, which already seemed ridiculous... and then with added problems, the whole sitaution took a turn for the surreal, like I was some figure from a Kafka story.

Yeah... you know I am still trying REAL HARD to forget that one...

costajunkie comments on D@M& Long Layovers (Share your horror story)

Hmm, which one??? Too many to mention... this happens when having traveled for a living once, or when one travels back and forth to Colombia 6-8 times per year like I do now.

There was the one time when flying out of Gatwick, I had to stay in Brighton for 4 days, waiting for a Continental flight that never managed to arrive. But since this is the Colombia board...

It would have to be the Christmas flight that I made last month... getting there was fine - it was coming home that practically killed me: Barranquilla, Bogota, Guayaquil, Lima, Panama City, Houston, Phoenix... 2 days, 2 nights (no hotel)... It is diffcult to grasp the absurdity of some itineraries and scheduling, especially when you have to keep flying south to finally go north, or when you pass over the place you just left 24 hours later.

costajunkie comments on * Who is right?

Best intentions versus reality... I can't help but chime in on this debate, with all respect to Kat and Desi...

You can teach, teach, teach... and then teach some more; however, kids will do what kids do. It matters little the background during these years; at this time - nature vs. nurture vs. raging hormones vs. life situations - the one thing you can count on is that they will do something to disappoint you at one time or another, making the choice less-wise. When life "happens," kids flow with it and react in the moment. Perhaps they will rise to the occasion and behave as you had hoped; other times, well... they will just f**k it up, contrary to anything you ever expected, disappointing you. Live and learn - it's part of growing up and (hopefully) becoming a mature and responsible adult. If you're not quite sure what I'm saying, then think back to when you were this age. My parents talked to me, and I would not have believed it strange if my father did the same for me (he actually did do this on several occasions).

Handing out condoms because you believe that you would be encouraging them - this act alone I would agree with you, that for the most part I believe it would be sending the wrong signal. However, talking to your kid, discussing life issues, and THEN breaking out the condoms should the situation arise (no pun intended) - this is simply being a responsible parent. It isn't strange and you aren't encouraging them IF you have been playing the role of a responsible parent all along, communicating with them, letting your kids know that there is nothing that they can't talk to you about.

costajunkie comments on * Who is right?

$20 bucks??? If my 12 year-old could get the kind of attention he received, and in an estrato 5-6 neighborhood no less (forget middle class), then I'll take some of that action too!

I wonder... Does there exist a corelation between "virtue" and the estrato in which one lives? If the attitude of my wife (an estrato 1-2 girl) towards these girls is any indication, then perhaps virtue lies in the lower estratos. She was more indignant and upset about the attention of these girls than I was, and she is his stepmom.

Anyway, my poor kid - those girls scared him to death!

When we were returning to the US, he turned to me and said, "Dad, the girls I met there aren't anything like the ones at my school." (He goes to a private Jewish school if that gives you an idea.)

costajunkie comments on * Who is right?

"In her mind young Colombian women are traditional and virtuous..."

I will stifle the guffaws in order to not offend...

"Hockey-bum," 12 years-old and my oldest son (from my first marriage) went with me last year. He loves to travel and visit his baby (half-)sister, but other than this, his world IS ice hockey, and he becomes aggitated if he is away from the ice rink for a long period of time. To pass the time, he brought his skateboard and immediately went to the skate park near our apartment. I don't know what it was... the blonde hair-blue eyes (he is a good-looking kid), his talent on his skateboard, being a young American who could speak some Spanish... whatever... but after that first day he had mobs of girls AS OLD AS 16 (!!!) following him, calling him, coming to our apartment, etc. He was friendly at first and he is a confident young man, but after sometime he went into hiding. He had his first kiss even, but it seems this particular girl wanted more.

Even now when I return, the girls still come around and ask me if he is there and when he is coming back...

Pack the condoms...

costajunkie comments on

Colombianos are choirboys... comapared to Mexicans. I split time between the B/quilla and Arizona, and I hear more swearing and profanity in one hour in Nogales or in the Latino areas of Phoenix than I would hear during an entire month in Colombia. And I do get around in Colombia...

I just haven't found a superfluous use of profanity to be much of a going concern in Colombia, at least in la costa. Now if you're speaking of slang, and the linguistic differences between regions - well, then this is another matter.

One last thing... My in-laws always get a chuckle out of my occasional use Mexican utterances, for example, "chingado" when I forget the name of something in Spanish. But for them and the many people I know, I just don't hear this kind of talk.

costajunkie comments on Coca Tea and Dried up Coca Leaves

I accidentally brought a baggie of dried coca leaves - in addition to some processed packets of coca for mate - through customs in Houston when returning a few years back from Peru (Puno). The customs beagle even had a good sniff of my backpack where the baggy was stored, and then continued on his way. When running around at 13,000+ feet, I made a point of consuming said leaves, through mate or by simply chewing a wad of leaves on occasion. I never felt any kind of buzz to speak of. By the way, I can testity that I managed quite well, where as my wife from B/quilla who refused to partake ended up in the hospital with altitude sickness. It seems that the Indians do have something here. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I believe that the dogs are trained to pick up the scent of the processed product rather than the leaves themselves.

costajunkie comments on anyone care for some morcilla?

I love it! Not the stuff pre-packaged and sold in the meat section of your Carrefour or Carulla grocery stores (yes, too dry and tasteless), but the home-made variety. This and chicharrones! yum-yum!

costajunkie comments on Translation help!

Seeking an affair? Perhaps... however This was sort of my first thought. However, there is more, so much more to the story. I said that there was ALMOST no contact between us, but it doesn't mean that she contacted me out of the blue. We had exchanged messages in the past on occasion just to be civil, but almost always the correspondence inevitably turned into something grosero y feo, each one of us blaming the other for the final outcome.

In brief, she felt that she knew me well enough in what I considered too short of time to make a commitment to marriage and kids, especially considering the fact that I was newly divorced and had a job that took me around the US and the world with very little time to actually spend at home with my kids from my first marriage - let alone a new wife.

By the way, she had a multiple entry visa so she had no use for me as someone who could facilitate her move to the US (she lives in the US married to gringo).

Seeking an affair? It's possible, though there are other conflicting signals in the letter that cast doubt on this (unless these signals were some kind of "red herring" to make me believe otherwise). If this is case, I'm certain that she wouldn't want just anyone, especially to have sex solely for the physical aspect of it. I would believe unhappy in her marriage to be more likely. Anyway, there's so much more to the story, and I really want to avoid the overwrought personal details of this past relationship if possible.

More than anything, I would like to know in what context one would use "terreno de arenas movedizas"???

costajunkie comments on Help.... I mean it!

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costajunkie comments on Advice to Gringos

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costajunkie comments on The joy of being married to a latina

I can't really say that being married to a Latina - any or the majority of Latinas - is a guaranteed joy. I really dislike stating that being married to a Latina (colombiana) is the surest path to marital bliss... just as I don't buy the argument that American women are bitches as is frequently portrayed. After all, my 4 sisters and my mum are Americans, and they certainly fall far short of being considered this way. When it gets down to it, people are people the world over. I have met wonderful women in the US and Europe, just as I have met the converse abroad - including Latin America.

There are the cultural differences... In short and that which sets her apart from anyone I've known, my wife is willing to sublimate her own desires and wishes in deference to mine, all the while subtely masking them in order to reduce conflicts and keep the peace - at least as she sees it. And since I never made such demands, this in itself can be frustrating, especially having been raised in a home surrounded by only women where the work was divided equally, all aspired to careers as equally as they dreamt of marriage and children, and all spoke their minds. Perhaps I'm in the minority(???) but I really don't like having it all my way while running roughshod over my wife's desires. To drag her actual desires out of her, needs even, is a an incredible effort at times.

I believe my wife's qualities are a mix that is unique to my wife's personality with cultural upbringing thrown in - and certainly not something that is genetically ingrained from birth. In fact the longer we have been together, the more she has learned to give voice to what she wants and to act accordingly: not cooking or cleaning if she's tired (though she still has immense guilt when I choose to do these things, but in truth I'm the better cook with all meals not colombian), not taking my advice in business matters, caring for our daughter and not hiring a niñera when she is not there (Ridiculous! For me old business after 4 kids from my first marriage), etc, etc. For me, I wouldn't consider myself to be a true partner and dad if I did not participate in these things.

Yes, she is the most caring, sweet, understanding, loving, passionate, tender, empathetic, and considerate woman I have ever known. However the way that I look at it, rather than marrying a colombiana who is naturally all of these (there are more than enough stories here to counter this perception), I married a woman with all of these qualities who happens to be a colombiana.

And on top of this, she would much rather prefer to live in Colombia than come to the US.

costajunkie comments on advice on how can I get a ticket less than $900

I just checked Just for yucks, I checked on fares traveling from RDU-BGA during the midweek, beginning of July to the end of August using Mobissimo, and I found fares of $958rt. With all that's happening right now - prices of fuel, summer travel season - I just don't think you will do much better than this. Possible, but not by much. I am already planning my next trip after the one I already have scheduled, and I am finding the same luck, and I do this all the time. It's best to buy early and hope that you won't be sorry later. Anyway, good luck!

costajunkie comments on advice on how can I get a ticket less than $900

A good place to start But perhaps not the most inexpensive - perhaps - would be to check Mobissimo: http://www.mobissimo.com/travel/search_airfare.php

It is a search engine of travel search engines, including well-known budget travel services like CheapTickets and CheapSeats, but it also includes some European and Canadian sites along with Orbitz and Travelocity. I travel roundtrip at least 8 times per year, and I consider it the best place to start.

Forget ABS. I used to use this in the old days (about 4-5 years ago), and in the past it would deliver... but no more. The last few times I checked, ABS was always undercut by fares found on Mobissimo, and usually by a significant difference.

A few other tips... If you don't find a fare that you like, don't despair - just check in later, and keep checking. Prices change constantly, and sometimes you can lock into an incredibly cheap fare if you're lucky and diligent - though with the price of oil lately, the airlines are necessarily having to pass this cost on to the consumer. An example? I bought a PHX-BAQ fare for $478 last spring. I bought it immediately, and when I checked 2 days later just to ease my conscience, the price had increased approximately $100.

Another site similar to Mobissimo is QIXO: http://qixo.com

I haven't used it in a while, but it works on the same principle. The times I have checked, it yielded comparable results, but a higher price in the end because of their processing fee.

costajunkie comments on Inside torre de Cali

... Not everybody here said it was a horrible place. Besides, the "big deal" was not what people here say, but what the colombianos to whom I have talked believe about this place...

costajunkie comments on Inside torre de Cali

I don't understand the big deal I stayed here about 4 years ago with my wife while visiting her sister in Cali. Her sister is an officer with GAULA, and because she had helped one of the owners with some kind of "business", we stayed there for the equivalent of $10 per day for 2 weeks - and a bottle of Johnny Walker. Everyone (colombianos) I talked to were raving about this place, as if it was The Plaza or something.

I can't complain because I stayed here on a "subsidized" rate. However, it was not what I imagined it to be. The furniture was cheap; the carpeting was the type that you would lay down in high-traffic corridors. No falling tile and it was clean, but at best I found it average. Nice view... though I looked out longingly at the Intercontinental not far away, wishing I was staying there.

My wife still remembers this place fondly for some reason, but I have avoided this place since. I would stay here only if you found a good deal, that is if you are picky about hotels.

costajunkie comments on Colombia Excels: Lowest Newborn Mortality Rate

I'm a little skeptical OK, but exactly what body conducted this study? Was the research conducted by an independent and unbiased organization? And just how was the sample population selected? Was it chosen and conducted by an individual team of statistical health professionals going from country to country? Or it was left to local officials to design the study which...

Just funnin' with you platano! Keep on keeping on defending the honor of Colombia!

costajunkie comments on Hotel In San Andreas

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costajunkie comments on Hotel In San Andreas

Discussed many times A request just like this comes up every two or three weeks. I have already stated in the past my preferences as well as did many others. Just plug in "San Andres hotels" where you can search this website, and then you will find more info than you will ever need.

costajunkie comments on Unos novios y unas novias viven juntos en Colombia?

Yeah, that's rough "Creyente"? WTF is that? Is she some new-age deist, or has she become some evangelical christian... or what? I come from Irish-Catholic stock, and have witnessed the severity of this thought into life among the older generations. In spite of the the overwhelming influence of Catholicism over the Latino culture, they still seem to be much more easy-going about it than some of the diehard papists in my family. With them, there are no ways to bend and flex. They are also some of the most unhappy people I have ever known.

What is it? Is it because you're shacking up that they disown her? Is it both, or is it just the mum?

You know, with the exception of the aforementioned father, I have found the dads more accepting and flexible than the mums. Usually if you get in good with dad, then you're in.

We do have problems with the mum, but they are of a different sort. While my father-in-law is mestizo and both he and my wife are morenos, her mum is white - and damn proud of it! She favors the lighter grandkids over the darker ones. She was so happy when she heard that my wife was pregnant with my child (she slobbered over my blond-haired, blue- and green-eyed boys when I brought them to Colombia for a visit). However, when our daughter was born - SURPRISE! - she looks just like mum, and almost as dark. There are some things I will never understand...

Anyway, good luck in BOG! It seems like you and she might need it.

Oh! 13 or 14 years and she's having sex? Yeah, this could happen, I know. I'm more concerned my daughter's judgement, and how she turns down the good boys in favor of the stupid, immature dicks she calls her boyfriends.

costajunkie comments on Unos novios y unas novias viven juntos en Colombia?

With all respect... If you are really serious about the girl, you can't just say "fuck" the parents... These are the people who will put the pressure on and influence her most if they don't like you and believe that you are someone not worthy of respect, OR if they believe that they are not getting what's due to them from you - R-E-S-P-E-C-T! It is THEIR daughter, and being the father of a teenage girl I am beginning to understand many new things that never crossed my mind before.

I am already having to fend off "young" suitors. My oldest daughter from my first marriage, 14 years-old but with the body of a 19 year-old - and gorgeous on top of that - is getting hit on by guys 10 years her senior. I thought the hard days of wiping asses and noses were over; this crap is even more troubling.

Therefore, I put myself in their place, and I followed the rules. And because I did so, I am appreciated even more for this. I am even my father-in-law's favorite. He's a great guy and I like him very much - he's very interesting, a retired DAS officer (another reason not to fuck with him). He has a chair that no one can sit in except for him (and his grandkids). None of his other sons-in-law can even think of sitting in it... but when I come over, he gets out of his chair and makes me sit in it, and then goes to pour the whisky.

Now how many of you guys get this kind of love from the in-laws?

Still, it may be true that that girl's parents are unyielding, spiteful, dysfunctional jerks (I had one girlfriend from Ecuador whose dad would refer to me only as the "gringo" in my presence, and he wasn't just playing with me), and they will not give any respect in return. In this case, yeah, I would say fuck 'em and ignore their rules... however, I might be concerned about the girl and her values who came from such a family.

costajunkie comments on Unos novios y unas novias viven juntos en Colombia?

I don't know about others But that is what I am doing. However, at last we will be getting married officialy in almost a month (June 24th). As I have mentioned in a prior post (I believe it was you, UTC) I call her my "wife", but in reality we are not married. Yes, we have been together for five years; yes, we have a daughter; yes, we have an apartment; yes we have a car and many other material possessions that we share as a couple... everyone already refers to us as husband and wife, including her family.

The stigma? Really the concern was more for family and appearances. For example, when I first began seeing her, I thought it patently ridiculous that she couldn't stay with me overnight, that I would have to take her home at 3:00 A.M... especially considering how we just spent the evening "knocking the wheels off the cart"...

However, with time shared with her family (and this was the important thing that changed minds), they came to believe that we were in love, that I was honest and good and that I truly loved their daughter, and that I was not exploiting her. After some time, she was allowed to stay with me... AND SHE WAS 32 YEARS-OLD ALREADY!

We will get married, but even this is more out of necessity and convenience than committment. We are already committed...

I guess the question would be to ask: Was this done for me and allowances made only becasue I was who I "am"? I still remember her family being unhappy that the their daughter in Cali allowed her boyfriend to move into her apartment, so unhappy that this daughter was ostracized for a time. Part of this was the fact that they did not believe he was good enough for her, but still, she's an adult. Therefore, beyond my own situation, I can't make any further comments or judgements.

costajunkie comments on Why are Colombians so serious

The day that Colombia imports the French for an infusion of shits and giggles will be the day I leave Colombia forever.

Speaking seriously in regards to a post that has me going "Huh???" You can't be serious? It's either that or you're French.

Where have you been hanging out to make such an observation? Are you even sure you're in Colombia? You can forgive them if they don't smile for you on cue, being that they have been embroiled in a war that has been going on since the days of Moses, tens of thousands dead, 3 million currently displaced... stuff like this and all. Still I haven't noticed the smiles and laughs growing dim lately.

The funniest guy I have ever met in Spanish (and maybe in any language) was the taxi driver I met on a side trip I made to Barranquilla about five years. The guy had me laughing so hard the tears were rolling down my cheeks and my gut was hurting. I insisted that he give me his number so that I could use him again. It was after the second day with this guy that he invited me home to for dinner, where I met his family. It is here I met my future wife, and he is now my brother-in-law.

I don't know what to tell you... Lighten up? Smile and the world smiles with you?

And if this fails, you are probably in the wrong part of Colombia. Yes, get on a plane, a bus, or a burra, whatever you have to do, and get your ass to where the costeños live!

costajunkie comments on Mental Health of Colombians

No, I got more... Colombia: HAPPY!
US: NOT!

You're right, and I'm wrong... I imagine you can break out the aguardiente and celebrate now...

I won't even give thought to debating this with you, and not because you have all the facts and nothing I could say has any value... it is simply because to doubt you, to contradict you, would lead to more anti-US blather upon subjects that have nothing to do with this thread. I never said things were better in the US, only that mental illness is probably better understood and acknowledged than it would be in Colombia.

You see the publication of a WHO survey in the Lancet... therefore this must be the gospel truth?

Is this all YOU'VE got???

Yes, the Lancet is a highly-esteemed medical journal, but this was simply a publication of the results from the WHO survey, and nothing more.

Is this all YOU'VE got???

I have trouble giving full faith in and credence to a survey that relied on a designated public health official from each country to conduct the survey using different polling methodolgy.

Yes, I missed the part where you reprinted an abstract of part of the SURVEY (not what I asked for), but this does not address the problems of selecting a proper population to sample.

Upon searching further, I discovered how each country used different methods of selecting this population to be sampled. Problem #1...

Some polls were conducted over a range of years, whereas others took only one poll. Problem #2...

The possibility that mental illness might be less understood and stigmatized in Colombia (and other countries... did you read this part?), therefore no matter what the questions asked, you would find inaccurate and misleading responses. Problem #3...

The possibility that a country's representative might not have another motive, for whatever reason - political, personal, inexperience, whatever - to change, to perhaps manipulate the population being tested. Problem #4...

If WHO surveyed Zimbabwe or Nepal also and found that Zimbabwe or Nepal was the "happiest" country, would you still so readily believe this? It could have happened with a poll like this.

The whole study is interesting but intrinsically flawed. The simple fact is a survey is only as good as the population being tested. And it really means jack-squat not only because investigators are using differing methodology and independence to select the survey population, but also because you are comparing diasporate cultures and unique cultural beliefs.

In closing, get off your high-horse and stop acting so self-righteous and contemptuous in your view of ALL Americans. Not everyone voted for Bush... not everyone agreed with the war in Iraq from the beginning... not all Americans believe that we "live in the best of all possible worlds," right here, right now... and some, just some, are perfectly happy in Colombia and believe it to be a great place, with truly warm, caring and genial people, despite the problems.

costajunkie comments on Mental Health of Colombians

An anecdote and some validity concerns I remember once driving with my wife to Soledad one Saturday morning to see the papas. As I was driving the road leading to the airport, I was trying to turn left onto one of the main drags that lead into Soledad (where the Soledad SAO is located - an infamous intersection even after the addition of the trafffic light). While waiting forever in the left turn lane, a woman without a stitch of clothes walks in front of my car, and then proceeds to cross the lane of the Barranquilla-bound traffic without even looking. Of course this caused a major traffic jam. As I waited and waited, I watched this woman go about her business - please, don't misunderstand me, looking out of concern, because clothes would have been a definite improvement - hoping, waiting for someone to intervene. People looked, people stared, a few concerned people tried to talk to her, but for the most part people ignored her as much as this was possible and let her be. I looked at my wife, and all she could do was shrug and say "It happens". I asked her if there was someone to call, and she responded "Like who?" After 15 minutes waiting (because of this woman and the resulting traffic), I made my turn and left the scene.

Three hours with the family in Soledad, and we get in the car to return to our apartment...

And at the same intersection, the same SAO... again, the same traffic, the same crowds of people... the woman was still here, curled up in a planter trying to sleep while two women talked to her. Someone had given her a sheet, but she wasn't using it for its donator's intended purpose. Instead she had used it to lie in the planter, with no thought given to maybe covering up.

My mind immediately did the Gringo thing it does when I see something strange and inexplicable like this, and I asked myself: "How long would something like this have been permitted to go on in the US?" It isn't that something like this can't happen here, because it does. For example, I rememeber listening to the traffic report on the radio one morning, and the very same thing was happened - a naked guy was walking along the side of the Maricopa Freeway during rush hour, bringing traffic to a standstill. However, by the next report in 10 minutes, the DPS had him in the back of a cruiser and off to wherever they would take someone in his condition.

The difference is that someone would have intervened in the US, and he/she would be evaluated in short time if displaying such obvious behaviors of someone who is mentally ill. In Colombia, in a major city, my wife couldn't even comprehend who should be called. In fact, my wife - a very kind and compassionate person - and her reaction was like those of most - she was totally non-plussed, if not somewhat indifferent to what was happening and what should be done.

I get really suspicious of any studies that make comaparisons and rankings from country to country. Comparisons are forced and calculated, without any real concern for the unique differences of variables from country to country.

For example, the (in-)famous "quality of students" poll, and how well students know mathematics, language, science, etc. The US usually comes up short in these international rankings, worrying many people of a decline and failure in our educational system. However, it is less well-known that while the scores of all our students are used, including those who have no plans of attending university in the future, many other countries use only those scores of students who are university bound for their base data.

Nobody crunches numbers and data like the US... we are an efficient society, and we do so because we have understood efficiency lowers costs. Efficiency is best attained by understanding relevant variables, polling and sampling, and then crunching away. Many other countries are incapable of doing the same, some because they just don't see and understand the importance, or they are prohibited for lack of funds to construct a study, initialize polling and sampling of relevant variables... or for a multitude of reasons ad infinitum.

So, on to the mental health of Colombians...

Do people feel happier in Colombia? I don't know... I feel happier in Colombia!

However, what constituted the base data for comparison of this in Colombia, and other countries for that matter? OK, it was published in the "Lancet" (the GB medical journal), but still I'm skeptical. How was the polling/sampling constructed and conducted? How large was the sample population? Did they round up, say, 100 people at random, yell "If you're happy and you know it - and you're not mentally ill - clap your hands"? Did they do a bed count at the inpatient mental clinics? (Could there be such a thing as outpatient here?)

Another even more important factor is the stigma attached to those people who might have a mental illness... because of the societal stigma attached to mental illness and the pressure to not admit to such problems and the negative implications attached to treatment and taking medication, the data will definitely be skewed, even in the best constructed survey. Americans and many Westerners are less stigmatized by such problems, and thus would be more open to acknowledging them. But in Colombia, how many people do you know who are going through problems would readily acknowledge this and search out help and medication? I don't know... I will admit that my life is not an easy one, and I have taken medications such as Effexor to help me lighten the load from time to time. I remember admitting this to my wife when I first met her, and she had a look of concern and - fear! - that maybe I was not OK. She understands it now for what it is... but recently after giving birth, being a new mom, trying to deal with her business that was becoming more and more successful, thus requiring her to work more hours, she was becoming depressed. She was also dealing with some physical pain and insomnia too. She finally admitted that she was taking a medication to deal with the insomnia and pains, Amitriptyline... for those of you who know, it is a medication that while easing insomnia and chronic pain, is a tricyclic antidepressant prescribed exactly for depression. She will never admit to taking it on account of depression though, no matter how hard you press her on it.

Bueno... I was going to continue with this theme and one of the ways Colombians are probably happier than those in the US - fewer cases of existential crisis/depression - but I'm tired (and depressed)... maybe later.

Until then: Buenas noches y'all...

costajunkie comments on My trip ...opinions?

Can't tell you about the boat But I can tell you that my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed our trip to Leticia. The area has boomed lately, especially with it being in a place where Colombia, Peru, and Brazil meet. The pros are the nature reserves, an area where you can you can take in the flora and fauna of the Amazon. The cons: well, the town is not the prettiest. Many operators offer tours. My wife and I bought a air/hotel/tours package through AeroRepublica.

Cartagena: in short, you go for the history and architecture, but not for the beaches. As far as beaches go they are pretty ugly.

Bufalo's suggestion though is a great one. I actually prefer Santa Marta, el Rodeadero area, for the combination of beaches, hotels and nightlife. Cartagena is huge; el Rodeadero is small and manageable by foot. This is where colombianos come to have fun and vacation. Even at 3:00 A.M., you will see informal/amateur vallenato bands playing on the beach. People will flatten and smooth out a rectangular area in the sand so that they can dance.

My opinion, go to Cartagena if you have never been. However, if beaches and relaxation are the guiding factor, then make it Santa Marta.

costajunkie comments on Trying to Understand

Oh man... I gotta hand it to you Morphus... no matter how much the comments and criticism fly, attacking you and your non-apologetic quest to cut an erotic swath across Colombia, it hasn't made a dent in your ego and self-esteem whatsoever.

So you are all for student-teacher relationships? OK... perhaps this might fly in Colombia to a degree, but in the US you would be the lead feature story in the local section of the newspaper with a value system like this.

I have a daughter in Colombia... if you do decide to teach someday, please be a pal and let me know where you are teaching so I know where not to enroll her for school, OK?

costajunkie comments on Trying to Understand

Late again! Why do I always arrive at these wonderful topics (for me at least) so late? What's to say that hasn't been said? Not much...

After I left my job as a project manager for a software company, I decided to join my novia for an extended time in BAQ. I managed to obtain a position at CUC in Barranquilla, and I did teach English there for a short time, since I was at one time an ESL teacher in the states. It was great fun, one of the best stints of teaching I have ever had. I also took some of the overflow of one of my co-worker's tutoring, some of whom were agency brides and fiancees (now THAT was interesting!)

First of all, I can imagine that there would be a difference between a colombiana going to an American school as opposed to attending one in Colombia. This country (any country really) changes people as it should - even more so if you are young and in a college setting. The same rules just don't apply for the most part.

Second of all, TWO MONTHS! What took him so long to even get to the question of a possibility of getting together? Christ! If this took place in the setting of an American college/university, you could bet that people are entering this woman's life on a daily basis. Even if she did have some kind of feelings of attraction toward your friend in the beginning, you can probably surmise that if she is even somewhat vivacious and/or attractive, somebody else was already making his move while he was still strolling through the park with her. Just how experienced is your friend in dating anyway?

Which brings me to my next subject for observation... In Colombia, I found one woman to whom I was attracted, and it is with her I have remained. However, I have dated women from other countries in Mexico and SA, and there is one thing I have found to be true, for me at least. If the woman is interested in you, she will let you know - not verbally, but through cues of body language. These cues are so much easier to read than those of American women, and it really doesn't take a degree in psychology to understand this if only you are not turned inward and instead paying attention. I'm not talking about "friendliness" - most colombianas are friendly and sociable. If he doesn't know what I'm talking about then your friend just doesn't have a clue, which I imagine to be the case after taking TWO MONTHS to get around to the subject of hooking up.

Your friend took two months to getting around to the subject of getting together, but now that she is not interested in "something more" than friendship, and he doesn't want to be a friend because he feels she mislead him? How childish! He should consider himself lucky that she wishes to be friends. The only misleading going on here is your friend's illusions in fooling himself. He may have had a chance at one time, maybe not... but TWO MONTHS??? What does he expect?

And lastly and most importantly, I have to call into question your friend's professional ethics. I don't know exactly the setting of this institution of learning where your friend teaches, be it a community college or whatever. Nevertheless, it is an unwritten rule as well as a written one at most credible intitutions of learning that teachers do not date their students. I have seen this rule violated more times than I care to recall, and if he has an ounce of dignity and professionalism, he will reevaluate his dedication to the mission of teaching and what it means to be a true educator.

Enough said...

PD. Mario, I believe you're right. I kept having to correct my post from "you" to "your friend"

costajunkie comments on Mexico Poised to Legalize Some Drugs

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costajunkie comments on Muy Importante

Kat... Tu no hiciste nada mal... no lo tomes mal lo que yo dije.

Yo estaba hablando al censor que borro mi post anterior. No estoy seguro por que fue anulado, pero yo no creo que era porque estaba en ingles.

Ten un muy buen dia...

costajunkie comments on Muy Importante

Well, since you're censoring post by post... ... here, let me help you out by taking this one too (re: Y que???)...

I also withdraw my apology (in Spanish) since what I wrote was no more offensive than so many of the posts already here. Also it did not stray from the the theme of this thread i.e. the May 1st march (Again! More truant latino students!) and boycott of American products in support illegal immigrants and the controversy surrounding it. Their posts remain (even those in English), yet mine is deleted.

If you are going to start deleting specific posts, BE CONSISTENT!

costajunkie comments on Muy Importante

Y que??? "..."

costajunkie comments on Direct TV or Dish Network which do Colombianas prefer?

Can't tell you what ALL would prefer I can't speak for ALL colombianas, but I can tell you what my wife prefers, and that is Caracol. Rarely does she have the TV tuned to anything else when she is watching TV. Most of the "better" telenovelas are found here - again, in the opinion of my wife.

Just a personal note: It's a good thing that I will be leaving in 2 days, because if I have to spend one more week of watching an episode of any novela, I'm going to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.

costajunkie comments on Are Colombians Poor, As They Are Projected To Be?

Exactly! "I know middle class Colombians who have never been on an airplane, much less the poor ones."

Yeah, this is right on target. It's amazing how many people I have found who have never traveled by plane.

And hotels! When she was my novia and I was first "permitted" to take her on a trip, we stayed at the Hilton Cartagena. After all, this is the place where the concurso for the reina de belleza is held! Every colombiano knows it at least from watching it on TV. You can't imagine the buzz this caused throughout the family. They all wanted photos, and they were calling her every night in order to live vicariously through her impressions. Before I met my wife, she had never flown, and she had stayed only once in an hotel in Cucuta (and from what she describes it was hell-hole).

Personally, at least what's nice for me, is that now she has seen and experienced a different side of life, she really doesn't care. The experience hasn't changed her a bit. Now she is more concerned about saving money, to the point of staying in some rundown, ratbag hotel if it means saving COP$20,000.

costajunkie comments on Are Colombians Poor, As They Are Projected To Be?

Some observations First of all, colombianos are truly the salt of the earth. As I have said before, I have traveled to many places, and once you have seen the sites you are supposed to see, the places of which you have heard all your life, you then begin to travel to meet people and know cultures (at least in my case). Please understand, I am not trying to over-romanticize the place - it does have its fair share of problems and bad people, but when compared to many of typical American familes, colombians IMHO come out far ahead in things like values, warmth, generosity, care for one another and genuine interest and concern for others... I can go on and on...

Remember, one horror story can never serve as a summation of the people as a whole. The more people you get to know, the more this fact becomes apparent and true.

Let's see, the people loading up with montones of things bought abroad to bring home. Why not? The import taxes for the country make many items unattainable for most families. If you traveled abroad and found items that were of much lower price than what you could find at home, wouldn't you do the same?

Also, you must remember that the people you see traveling are not a typical cross-section of society. These are people who have money, or have a relative living abroad.

Dress well? My wife's family, while not poor, are humble people, and probably representative of what you would consider the norm. Yes, many people have nice outfits and dress well when possible, but if you were to open their closets, you will find very few items. Why? It is becasue they take extra care of their clothes. I once found one of my younger sobrinos wearing something that I had given to an older child who out grew it. You know what? It looked as new as the day I bought it. It's the same with "things"... When I buy a toy for my kids from my first marriage, the thing is either broken, or lost, or pushed aside for something else out of boredom. My sobrinos still play with many of the things I gave to them 4 years ago.

Taking care of themselves... if you are talking about hygeine, they are among the cleanest people I know. Climb aboard the Metro in Paris or in Moscow on a hot summer day, and you will become nauseated from the smell (OK, a generaliazation, but for the sensitive American nose it is evident) and the apparent lack of concern for bathing once a day and the use deodorants. Barranquilla, one of the hottest, most humid places I have been, this has never been an issue (perhaps a taxi driver or two). Showers 3 times a day are common.

Their homes may be as poor and humble as the occupants (I remember finding it strange at first, the geckos climbing all over the walls), but I have never entered a dirty home in any of the places I have been. Actually it makes me crazy sometimes how my wife wants to clean every 3 days... to stop her and get her to relax is useless. It's even more irritating because sometimes I just want to chill and not do anything, but instead I feel guilty just sitting there and watching her, so therefore I have to pitch in. But she doesn't nag me to help her... in fact she thinks it strange that I do help her clean and sometimes insist on cooking. My daughter from my first marriage, my Jewish-American princess (and I say it with all tenderness and love) wouldn't last a day in Colombia.

The part about saving is natural, and I have seen this in other countries too. In the US the mentality seems to be if you have the money, spend it. And if you don't have the cash, then charge it. In Colombia, if you don't have that much money to afford the luxuries, what are you going to do with it? It's simple - save it. This is an incredibly valuble lesson that colombianos could teach Americans.

Again, I know that the country and its people have their faults - just like all countries - but colombianos really seem to get a bad rap.

costajunkie comments on “My First trip to America”

The truth is uncovered... US Customs and Immigration are animales, while the rest of the world's ranks are purely professional and humane (particularly in GB)

(I can't believe I would be defending US Customs and Immigration!)

First of all, people post what brutes man our entry points. Question: Two people are going through immigration and customs in no particular country... who will be scrutinized more? The citizen of that country, or the visitor? For all of you colombians naturalized in other countries, why do you believe that you should be be given the same treatment as an American coming home, especially if your passport indicates that you were naturalized? Think!

How many times have you guys traveled here? Anywhere? Many of you have made only one, two, five trips abroad, and you believe that one negative experience is incontrevertible proof that the whole system is rotten.

I have been traveling all of my life, throughout college studying and traveling for fun, then working for the US government, then running from here to there as a stringer (mostly former socialist E. Europe), then a project manager for a software company (I had to have those stupid pages pasted to my passport because I ran out of space), and now back and forth to BAQ to be with my wife, about 8 to 12 roundtrips/year (and again I am running out of space). You travel enough, it is likely you will have an unpleasant experience with some nation's border officials at sometime.

Echoing Miguel_C... before you post your comments about the US's border thugs, try and recall who exactly gave you a bad time. Kat - you yourself remarked how friendly (and flattering!) the immigration officer was, but then you turn around and trash them for their "rudeness" and "air of superiority". Just exactly who gave you the bad time - the guys in blue, or the idiots in the white uniforms? The guys and gals in white are TSA workers making low wages, most who have nothing more than a high school diploma and would be working as a cashier in Wal-Mart otherwise. Don't confuse the two.

When I travel abroad, I fully expect anymore that there is the likelihood that something unpleasant can happen (including the US), and I am pleased if it doesn't. With the exception of the one gung-ho PN working at BAQ who was dead-sure that I was a "mula", and who was extremely unprofessional and unpleasant, I hold no ill-will toward any of these guys, even the chorizo-fingered, butt-pirate who went where few have dared (OK, where more than I would like to remember - it wasn't the first time this has happened to me crossing a border). In fact, after the entire incident, I fly through BAQ with no problems because most of them remember me, and since I travel often and BAQ is pretty small as an international gateway... well, they remember me, along with my wife's dad, a retired DAS agent and his jefe, who chided them on the loss of professionalism and honor in the service (thank God for them - they saved me from further humiliation, though I did miss my flight).

And speaking of the Brits... Ahh!!! The kind and model-professional UK border agent versus the Neanderthal, knuckle-dragging variants you find ONLY in the US!!! Then riddle me this:

I lived, studied, and worked in the UK (Southfields, Maida Vale and Camberwell, London, among other places), so I know the country and people pretty well... So the time when I was passing through customs with my kids from my first marriage (pre-9/11), and all of the passengers (the white ones that is) walked through unhindered and ignored by the customs gang sitting around (about 12 guys), save the lone woman, an Arab wearing a hijab and scarf, who was immediately descended upon by all 12, her bags torn open and her possesions scattered, all the while peppering her with questions... this was an anomaly?

Or the time I was escorting a classmate, a 17 year-old American university prodigy of Indian decent by request of her parents... We disembarked from the ferry, nearly the last ones off... I didn't see ONE SINGLE PERSON STOPPED AND SEARCHED! However, when she tried to pass through, with her American passport no less, she was questioned rudely and her bags searched thoroughly for over 45 minutes. This was an anomaly too?

Really, if you really think so badly of our customs and immigration and that it can only happen here (there? I'm in Colombia now), then the decision is easy - STAY HOME OR GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! If you're only trying to get to Colombia, then get a direct flight... you'll pay more, but I'm sure it will be worth it.

costajunkie comments on “My First trip to America”

Works the other way too Hey, I have also had my shares of run-ins with customs and immigration. In fact, I have such a "stain" on my name for past transgressions that I'm usually given the once or twice over everytime I cross into the US. Most of the time, though, they are courteous and professional...

But it also works the other way, leaving a country, say... Colombia for example. You know, I can't say that I was treated any better by these guys. Truthfully, from the way you described, it sounds like you had a hell of a better treatment than I had with colombian authorities during my second trip to the place, and I was only trying to LEAVE the country.

It's the life of traveling - if you're going to travel, toughen up and get used to it. Customs in the US is no worse than most other countries, especially considering the security situation.