Your Col. Spouse in the US: Homesick or Happy?

utopiacowboy says on Oct 10, 2005, 14:43:

No, Tinto, it's not just you. I've been having the same troubles. That's why I switched to inflatable dolls.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

rocinante says on Oct 10, 2005, 19:28:

Tinto - as smart as I like to think I am, I really don't understand the joke part of your post. What do you mean by Americanized?

I can appreciate that this topic has come up here many times but I didn't really see it and I've been reading recently that "Colombia has the happiest people"

I'm still very much interested in my original topic of whether or not Colombians relocating here are happy and why do they do it:

"This post is really for more insight into Colombian people and why so many are willing to marry and get out. Are they sacrificing one thing (family) to gain something else (better lifestyle)?"

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

kernow62 says on Oct 10, 2005, 20:21:

Our situation is a bit different. My Colombian wife left to come to the US by herself with just a few hundred dollars and a suitcase with clothes and a few personal items. She had an advantage, she happened to be born in NYC so just by being born in the US was a US citizen.

I met her, courted her and married her here, I am not a US citizen so the green card part of the equation isn't part of it.

She spoke very little English, but she is the sort of person who will make the best of any situation. I am not sure if this is a Colombian trait, but I think it is, and is key to her happiness. She did however miss her family so the minute she got settled in the US she sponsored her parent's and her sister. Her parent's were approved quickly and in no time were living in the US, but her sister was stuck in Colombia fo 8 years I think. I say stuck not in a bad way, but because she was now the one not close to her family! Eventually my father-in-law became a US citizen and then he sponsored my sister-in-law and now she lives here too.

The strange thing is, each time my wife or her parent's return to Colombia for a visit the more changes for the positive they see and the more interested they are in returning to Colombia to live. They love life in the US, more opportunities etc. but there is something lacking that they can't quite explain. They also don't like the fact that it is all about who has the most, the biggest, the newest etc.

My wife and I are not planning to retire in the US, I am not sure Colombia would be in our retirement plans, but I wouldn't rule it out. Our other choices at the moment with varying plusses and minuses are Chile, Argentina, Spain, Ireland or the UK.

thundernco says on Oct 10, 2005, 21:44:

Utterly... homesick! My wife is/was very close to her sibling, parents, grandparents, etc. so she misses them dearly. I come from a very tight knit family also, and they've accepted her and while we all speak spanish fluently, it's not the same. In the past we lived in Colombia and will probably return in the not too distant future. She had a good life before me, had a tourist visa and vacationed in the US, well sort of the US... Miami, often. While she likes the states for vacation, it's not home for her. She just happened to fall in love with me and we married, but the separation from her family has been tough. I can somewhat understand as both my sisters refuse to leave the area because they feel the same way about our parents and tight knit family. -TNC

kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 12, 2005, 10:25:

I left Colombia to the UK because I was in looveeeeeeee, I do miss my family but I knew that I have to come here because it was easier for my husband work. now after 16 years I've got used to, I go to Colombia every christmas so that is ok by me. when I am in Colombia I do miss here too, and now I have to think on my kids they were born here, and they like it in here. maybe in the future I will go back but I don't want to loose ties with UK either.
The best thing you can do to adjust to a country is
Never compare the new country to yours otherwise you are never going to know the beauty of this one
try to integrate to your new community as much as you can, make new friends, jobs etc
good if you got a supporting husband or wife it helps a lot
try to integrate more with people from that country, not to find your own people all the time. They people from your new country dont' have to change you, you can change them jejje. and sometimes they love what new thing you bring to their lives.


And remember you can't do nothing about the weather in the UK, so just get a big puffy jacket and a hat ;-)

kernow62 says on Oct 12, 2005, 12:45:

One thing my wife mentioned just this morning to me that she doesn't like in the US is the fact that medical care is very businesslike and not at all personal. In fact she can't recall any of her doctors with the exception of her dentist calling her by her first name. I guess the bedside manner is lacking in the US.

Both her and her sister go to Colombia when they need any non-urgent surgery, such as cosmetic dental, lasik etc.

CaryGrant says on Oct 12, 2005, 17:33:

My wife is not here yet, but her reasons for leaving were:
1. Me - good guy she happened to love
2. Better life situation
3. X

1. Love: I have heard, and come to believe, that many Latinas believe more in 'growing in love' than 'falling in love.' The second happens to them, but they do not consider it reasonable grounds for marriage. Thus, if a Latina meets a guy she thinks is really wonderful and whom she believes is the kind of man she WILL love, she will marry him.

2. Life: This is not money, not necessarily even just money. Security, and more opportunities for themselves and their children are also very important.

3. X: Some women are adventurous in this way, as are some men. They actually LIKE the idea of foreign culture and men. Although I get frustrated at times at the language barrier (slowly being overcome!), I love that fact that my wife is quite different in some ways.

All of this presumes a woman with good character, of course.

huskie says on May 6, 2008, 06:01:

Crock of BS post
Cheers

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds-"

morphus says on May 6, 2008, 06:08:

Roci fan?

huskie says on May 6, 2008, 06:18:

sure

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds-"

Saltador says on May 6, 2008, 06:34:

Rocinante said: "This post is really for more insight into Colombian people and why so many are willing to marry and get out. Are they sacrificing one thing (family) to gain something else (better lifestyle)?"
I think in some cases they are actually doing it FOR the family. They realize the money is "easier" in the USA, so they will live without close contact with the family for two years in order to benefit the family down the road.