You know you are NOT in Colombia when ........

azunoman says on Mar 16, 2008, 11:55:

you have to sort through junk mail six times a week (US)

Ready, Fire, Aim

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vicshere says on Mar 16, 2008, 12:21:

scrap the ice off the window to get out of the driveway

listo

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azunoman says on Mar 16, 2008, 12:38:

there is no Pilsen to be found

Ready, Fire, Aim

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poco says on Mar 16, 2008, 13:09:

ketchup is in bottles and tuna is in bags.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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Man Tequila says on Mar 16, 2008, 13:23:

A fruit shake costs six bucks and has no taste.

People stay silent or turn away when they pass a stranger in the street. God forbid they make eye contact or smile.

You don't get the little gloves with the fried chicken.

Aunque no me creas/ si me lo propongo/ lograre olvidarte/ porque a fin de cuentas/ no soy tan cobarde./ Y termino todo una de estas tardes/ no sera dificil buscar algún sitio donde refugiarme/ donde nunca mas vuelvas a encontrarme. (Polo Montañez)

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Ryan619 says on Mar 16, 2008, 13:46:

When people use their hands to eat french fries and not a tooth pick.

Moment to moment living.

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CatGirl says on Mar 16, 2008, 13:48:

When people eat french fries with ketchup

Love and Time: the only two things that cannot be bought, but only spent

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Medellin Traveler says on Mar 16, 2008, 13:56:

When your taxi driver doesn't invite you to his home for dinner.

"Huevos Rancheros en Medellin, No Quiero Taco Bell." - www.medellintraveler.com

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Mar 16, 2008, 13:57:

When people use fork and knife to eat french fries with ketchup.

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

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Portena says on Mar 16, 2008, 14:24:

There aren't military check points along your icy interstate route to work manned by (tough looking) baby-faced soldiers armed with M-16s.

I feel better! I can smile at it now, I feel better. Ohhhh, better! Gnarls Barkley

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MitchAlvarez says on Mar 16, 2008, 14:28:

you only find one hot chick per table.

"Ingrid callate la jeta!! Stay in France"

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poco says on Mar 16, 2008, 14:42:

every business has a parking lot

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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Ryan619 says on Mar 16, 2008, 14:42:

When people use over and over EXCUSE ME, THANK YOU, AND SORRY. And it's not necessary.

Moment to moment living.

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JoeG says on Mar 16, 2008, 14:43:

you're making me homesick. there's no popeye's chicken here and kfc isn't as good. there's no drive through tacos at 3 in the morning, and I can't find anyplace that will put the beans on the rice.

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azunoman says on Mar 16, 2008, 14:44:

I can't buy Ron Viejo de Caldias in a economico box

Ready, Fire, Aim

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poco says on Mar 16, 2008, 15:30:

When pepper shakers are on the tables in all the restaurants

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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joshhyman says on Mar 16, 2008, 15:41:

When a lady can go out in jeans and sneakers and not feel ashamed...

When you go to buy something and the store has no salespeople to help you....

When you can go to an ATM in the middle of the city and withdraw money without security....

When your waiter at a fancy restaurant makes more money than you do....

When some kid goes to a school and shoots other innocent kids then kills himself and he comes from a rich home.....

When great music is playing at a house party and nobody dances....(probably nobody CAN dance)

When someone hears that you are from Colombia or have been to Colombia and asks you if Colombia is near Poland....

When people think of Colombians as dirt poor, violent drug users and pushers when they have never heard of Shakira, Botero or Marquez....all #1's in thier crafts, in the world....

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Saltador says on Mar 16, 2008, 16:06:

When you go to a bank to perform a small transaction, and you are in and out in less than two hours.

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Saltador says on Mar 16, 2008, 16:06:

When you're jonesin for some jugo de mango, but there isn't any...

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Saltador says on Mar 16, 2008, 16:53:

When your fast food meal at "Presto" takes 10 minutes to get to you, each and every time...

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azunoman says on Mar 16, 2008, 16:56:

when I have to pay 4 times the regular price for organic vegetables

Ready, Fire, Aim

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poco says on Mar 16, 2008, 17:32:

when a hummer costs more than a days wages

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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eywed says on Mar 16, 2008, 17:41:

Vallenato does not start playing in the neighborhood at 6 a.m. .

Ay Hombe!!!!!

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eywed says on Mar 16, 2008, 17:45:

Meat is delivered in a cold truck not in the back of a pick up truck with blood still hitting the ground.

Ay Hombe!!!!!

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LilaM says on Mar 16, 2008, 18:14:

When you try to cross the street, and the cars stop just for you to pass by...

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

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LilaM says on Mar 16, 2008, 18:15:

When you go to a mall, and get in to the underwear area... and you can see bras that look like hamacs!!! and panties like parachutes!!

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don´t try" B. Sills

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Robert Jorge says on Mar 16, 2008, 21:41:

I think I "get it" Poco. (you're not talking about the truck?)

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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Catfish35 says on Mar 16, 2008, 22:16:

when thier is some freaky assed pedophile waiting to snatch up anything with a heartbeat and a hole around every corner!

"So many guns, and so few brains". sam spade

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MitchAlvarez says on Mar 16, 2008, 23:52:

rubito thats a good one. every freakin cab driver in medellin warns you about slaming the door jajaja

"Ingrid callate la jeta!! Stay in France"

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goin_south says on Mar 17, 2008, 00:17:

... when you can type on the keyboard in your sleep.

I'D RATHER BE.........IN COLOMBIA :-))

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goin_south says on Mar 17, 2008, 00:17:

... when the taxis are bigger than Go_Karts.

I'D RATHER BE.........IN COLOMBIA :-))

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goin_south says on Mar 17, 2008, 00:18:

(You know you're probably not in Bogota..... if the Sun is Shining)

I'D RATHER BE.........IN COLOMBIA :-))

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elmodefoque says on Mar 17, 2008, 05:30:

you know you're NOT in colombia when you find yourself at home all alone chocking the chicken on a friday night with no hopes of ever getting laid.
welcome to reality, welcome to USA!! jijiijij
thank you!!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 17, 2008, 05:36:

you're not in colombia when you walk into a colombian bar in queens nyc and colombianitas don't even give you the fokin time of day, they're are too busy coquetiando colombian guys .
YES!!! the same broads that used to chased your ass around in Medelllin

thank you!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Monpirri says on Mar 17, 2008, 05:45:

Welcom back Elmo.

Annette Taddeo for US Congress 2008

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elmodefoque says on Mar 17, 2008, 05:49:

monpi, thanks!
lately i've been too busy at home getting drunk, watching tv and napping.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Monpirri says on Mar 17, 2008, 05:52:

I hear ya! I have some really cool vallenatos CDs that I would like to share with you. :>)

Annette Taddeo for US Congress 2008

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elmodefoque says on Mar 17, 2008, 05:53:

in my case
I know i'm not in colombia when older broads in their 60 and 70's are coming on to me while the young ones don't even give a fokin glance.
In USA i'm quite an old broad maganet, they think i'm like a Ricardo Moltaban or rudolph fokin valentino

monpi, lets check out los vallenatos


thank you!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Colombiche says on Mar 17, 2008, 07:54:

I know I'm not in Colombia when...

- People actually drive their cars in their lane
- People take 1/2 hour to make a right hand turn eventhough there is no traffic
- Motorcycles also stay on their lane instead of weaving in and out of traffic.
- People freak out about any little thing
- People expect the nanny state to look after them
- People can't find more than one way to skin a cat
- I can't even stop for 2 minutes on the wrong spot because somebody will be taking a pic of my license plate with the cell phone and calling the cops
- Peopel come in and out of the office without greeting each other instead of chatting and drinking tintico together.
- Lunch is a Tim Horton's turkey sandwich and a coffee that I down while I drive.
- I have to pay 4 bucks for a grenadine at Loblaws
- Chicken tastes like it's been frozen for a century and thawed.
- People drive to get to the store two blocks away.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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Robert Jorge says on Mar 17, 2008, 09:08:

I know I'm not in Colombia when:

-The neighborhood association president leaves a note saying I need to mow my lawn.
-I can buy lemons as well as limes.
-My neighbor, the FHP officer, gives me a stern talking to, because my motorcycle is loud.
-Honking could quite possibly cause the other driver to get out of his car and want to fight me.
-Eggs are refrigerated.
-You can't buy a bottle of liquor at the club or bar.
-When a male who gets his nails done is gay.
-When you don't have to clap, beat the table, or whistle to get a waiter to serve you.
-When you have lots of family, but have never seen even 1/10th of them at the same time.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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jonas says on Mar 17, 2008, 09:26:

When every piece of clothing including the biggest names you buy are made in China and not some little backyard factory in Medellin

What I have, I do not want to lose, but Where I am I do not want to stay, but those I love, I do not want to leave, but those I know I no longer want to see, but Where I die, I do not want to go;I want to stay where I have never been

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spigrimace says on Mar 17, 2008, 10:09:

-When people will look at the stickers on a restaurant window or simply ask the greeter what credit cards that a restaurant accepts.
-If you are stopped on the side of the road for whatever reason, you´ll look up into your rear/side mirrors to make sure it´s clear before opening your door and take a look again before driving off.
-when a pair of shoes will last more than a month
-when you have to pay USD$200 to have a 2 yards of trash hauled in a dumpster vs. 20 mil by a horse drawn buggy
-when to get rid of your 30 year old renault master 4 junker you cannot simply find a cliff and push it over.
-people understand what collectables are
-fine china is not made by Corona and is not found in the same asile as commodes by the same maker
-you don´t add water to the paint before painting your walls
-you dont get your oil changed for free with the purchase of 4 quarts of oil.
-Getting a flat plugged is a lot more than $3 mil.
-you can find shoes size 12 or bigger, jeans size 40 or bigger anbd XXL shirts
-a contract doesn´t need to be notarized
-in a life and death situation one doesn´t need to worry if they´ll understand if you´re saying straight vs. right.

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Monpirri says on Mar 17, 2008, 10:17:

You know you are NOT in Colombia when Colombians watch the major Spanish TV stations and they think that's how Colombia is.
You know you are NOT in Colombia when customers in a restaurant can find plenty of napkins on the tables.

Annette Taddeo for US Congress 2008

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morphus says on Mar 17, 2008, 10:27:

You know you are NOT in Colombia when you can't take a whiz for 200 pesos or a dump for 500 pesos in a bano publico.

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Saltador says on Mar 17, 2008, 10:31:

You know you're not in Colombia when you look at the paint job of the room you're in, and the paint is not all over the trim, ceiling, floor, etc.

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Monpirri says on Mar 17, 2008, 10:33:

You know you are NOT in Colombia when you can find more than 10 public restrooms in the cities.

Annette Taddeo for US Congress 2008

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Saltador says on Mar 17, 2008, 10:36:

When you pull up to the paytoll booth on the highway, and aren't set upon by vendedores.

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morphus says on Mar 17, 2008, 11:30:

You know you are NOT in Colombia when you get arrested for picking up a hooker.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Mar 17, 2008, 11:31:

You know you are NOT in Colombia when you are bored to death like I am know :(((

engage brain before opening mouth

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msaucey says on Mar 17, 2008, 11:42:

I know I'm not in Colombia when...

- A family reunion is a total of 3....
- You enter a public facility and there is graffiti on every wall, even etched in elevator panels... "Loser was here"
- they sell elote in a push cart and not mazamorra...
- I've lived in my house for 2 years and only know 1 neighbor...
- children stay inside the house and watch tv, play nintendo (or whatever), and get fat...
- I can see everyone's boxers because guys pants are down to their ankles...
- I look out the window and there are no green hills, mountains... it's all just brown, ready for a brush fire...
- When you see camera lights going off at an intersection because someone ran a red light...

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis

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iggy says on Mar 17, 2008, 13:31:

For the same reason with Kat1.

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rocinante says on Mar 17, 2008, 15:56:

You know when you're not in Colombia. Period

"World economic indicators point to a democrat winning 2008. It will surely be Obama. Peso 1400 by November" Feb 5, 2008

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goin_south says on Mar 17, 2008, 17:14:

lol, and true rocina.

I know I'm in Colombia, when I have to ask what fkn day it is,
And, especially, when I'm asking this question at night.

I'D RATHER BE.........IN COLOMBIA :-))

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goin_south says on Mar 17, 2008, 17:15:

Is it time for a sequel to this post:
......................."How do you know when Some One Else is in Colombia?"

I'D RATHER BE.........IN COLOMBIA :-))

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Monpirri says on Mar 17, 2008, 17:19:

......................."How do you know when Some One Else is in Colombia?" when your pms from phb return back to the source saying member on vacation.

Annette Taddeo for US Congress 2008

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Lisa Zee says on Mar 17, 2008, 18:50:

You know you are not in Colombia, when your garage is full of junk and your car parked in the street.
When you pay a $35.00 parking ticket on the street.
When parties are over by 10:pm
When your neighbors call the cops at 11:pm because you have a party at you house.
when at a party they play the radio.
when at a party, all they do is eat and talk.
When people smoke cigarettes, they take it out their pockets already lighted.
When going to the movies and popcorn costs $15.00
When a babysitter charges $10.00 to $15.00 an hour

When you don`t hear any car horns all day.
When you drive in roads without potholes
When you drive without tolls (California)
When the beaches are not crowded.
When you can go to nude beaches and nobody is gawking.
when you can be at the beach and go to the snow in the same day.
When your maid has a car.

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Lostgringo says on Mar 18, 2008, 01:32:

You know you are not in Colombia when you don't have to get "thumb" printed to rent an apartment.
You know you are not in Colombia when you don't have to get someone to sign for you to rent an apartment who actually owns property.
You know you are not in Colombia when you're slapped for kissing a woman on her cheek.
You know you are not in Colombia when you see everyone dancing with 2 left feet.
You know you are not in Colombia where 1 out of 10 women are beautiful instead of 9 out of 10 in Colombia.
You know you are not in Colombia when your credit card is better than cash.
You know you are not in Colombia when you start daydreaming of a better life.

Your Home Away from Home www.welovebogota.com and www.apartmentinbogota.com "Luxury apartments and rooms Cheap" Only 2 blocks from the American Embassy! 24/7 hour security.

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Juanes says on Mar 18, 2008, 06:24:

when all you hear coming back from the airport to your house in london is zzzz..wchywzfr....mezfryzw.....which is lots of horrible east european communist dialects.

when to travel 4 minutes in your city costs the same as 4 hours bus travel in colombia

when nobody speaks to each other on the way to work on the metro / bus

when you dont hurt your neck muscles continually turning around in the street to look at the girls

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Juanes/

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azunoman says on Mar 18, 2008, 12:13:

you have your home up for sale priced to sell in this shxtty market just so you can call Colombia home

you know how much it is to to move all your worldly possessions to Colombia

you are the one responsible for making dinner every freaking day

your handy man finishes in fifteen minutes but it's only half done

you do not ask your taxi driver if he would like to share a meal\

you see people using a law mower and not a weed eater to mow the grass

you feel like you are just like everybody else

you read PBH food posts to find out what you 'might' not be able to find

you have to try and dis spell erroneous impressions garnered from movies and TV shows about Colombia to all your friends and family

you go to the public library and the only 'Colombian History' to be found is titled "Kill Pablo"

Ready, Fire, Aim

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Strobers says on Mar 18, 2008, 13:15:

You know you are NOT in Colombia when...

Your alarm goes off to go to work and you realize you have another four years until you can retire and then you start crying.

The phone card your wife uses to call home that guarenteed 2 1/2 hours of call time is used up after one 5 minute phone call and then she starts crying.

The dentist bill is ten times you paid the last time you were in Colombia for 1/2 of the same work and you both start crying.

"Life is too serious to be taken seriously"

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Juanes says on Mar 19, 2008, 07:29:

you do not hear that beautiful phrase when you are out walking in your city.....

A LA ORDEN PAPI

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Juanes/

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Colombiche says on Mar 19, 2008, 08:45:

I know I am not in Colombia when I arrive at the airport and I don't have 30 relatives waiting for me.

When you shake people's hands instead of giving them a hug and a kiss.

When I have to carry my office shoes in a bag so I can put them on in the office after trudging through the snow in my boots.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Mar 19, 2008, 10:28:

*Biche, don't you have anywhere to store your shoes at work? I have to change too, but I leave my work shoes at work every day when I go home.

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."-President George W. Bush

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