You don't know Jack Schitt ?

You don't know Jack Schitt?

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!

By BAQ on Sep 19, 2005, 10:54 in Friendly Talkzone.

SweetNess says on Sep 19, 2005, 10:58:

well.... You certainly are full'a Schitt aren't you?

Crazy4Cali says on Sep 19, 2005, 11:03:

There's nothing like a Schitt-load of family history to brighten one's day.

Thanks for taking a dump and sending us all that Schitt, that story really stinks :)

I wonder if they have a family picture online?

elmodefoque says on Sep 19, 2005, 11:03:

this is some realfunny mierda! and thanks, i always wanted to know the history behind jack Schitt

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

caslug says on Sep 19, 2005, 11:42:

does ms wada fuk know mr. jack schitt? i dont think they ever met, because you always here, "wada fuk? you dont know jack schitt?"

BAQ says on Sep 19, 2005, 12:00:

Sweetness, lighten up darlin

Semper Fidelis !

leojc says on Sep 19, 2005, 13:06:

Jajaja BAQ, thats some funnny shit....

farfallah says on Sep 19, 2005, 13:17:

Jack Schitt story is in video form, too
Here's a link to a video presentation (sound card needed for the sound part) of the Jack Schitt story:

http://home.pacbell.net/diana_do/knowjack.htm

I don't suppose the Jack Schitt story would translate well into Spanish.

SweetNess says on Sep 19, 2005, 13:31:

HEY!?! I thought that comment made it obvious that I WAS... oh well... I was just going with the flow k?

SweetNess says on Sep 19, 2005, 13:32:

hmmm I think elmodefoque would be the perfect person to give that translation a try... he's good at that stuff.

BAQ says on Sep 19, 2005, 13:33:

THANKS FARFALLAH Thanks for the info, I didn;t know about that link.

THANKS AGAIN !!!!

Semper Fidelis !

dagui says on Sep 19, 2005, 16:43:

S.H.I.T. is the real meaning Ship High In Transit..which is refering to the transportation of guana...?

cdunn77 says on Sep 20, 2005, 07:32:

Why is it that this post has already got 11 replies, and the post I put wanting factual information about Melgar has only got 3 replies??? By the way, that Jack Schitt has been around in an email for years!

spigrimace says on Sep 20, 2005, 07:47:

Old First time I heard this one, I was on a dinosaur calbagatta!

Crazy4Cali says on Sep 20, 2005, 10:29:

Why, oh why?! cdunn77 asked: "Why is it that this post has already got 11 replies, and the post I put wanting factual information about Melgar has only got 3 replies???"

My guess is the posters just happen to know more about schitt than Melgar. I know, I've been taking schitt for a long time so I should have plenty to give but I just don't gave a schitt.

(Hmmm.. doing the math on that equation would mean I am full o' schitt. That would explain a lot, but it doesn't explain how you are actually leaving something when you take a schitt.

And that's no schitt!

BAQ says on Sep 20, 2005, 11:10:

CDUN77 Humor and a BREAK from some of the SERIOUS stuff on here.

Hay, EVERYONE needs a good laugh once in a while.

I LIVE in Colombia and don;t know anything about MELGAR, if I did, I would certainly have given you info.

Semper Fidelis !

TACTICAL says on Sep 20, 2005, 11:38:

FUNNY BAQ, Thanks for the post, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Gomezman5 says on Sep 20, 2005, 16:21:

BAQ Most creative....and funny. Try not to be so hard on Jack though. After all, when it comes schitt, all of us are full of it at one time or another.

utopiacowboy says on Sep 20, 2005, 16:26:

Why? Because we don't know schitt about Melgar. If you wanna ask about Monteria, Lorica, Cerete, Covenas then I'd respond.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Gomezman5 says on Sep 20, 2005, 16:43:

Melgar?? I know him well ! I even went to his wedding.

I think Jack was his best man.