Who pays for what

Sam Salmon says on Feb 19, 2005, 22:02:

The Groom Pays As always in Colombia the man pays the woman controls and everyone possible is invited so as not to leave any noses 'out of joint'.
A splendid time is had by all and everything starts off on the right foot.


' a la orden!'

' a la orden!'

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Lionheart says on Feb 20, 2005, 00:08:

do a search here There are several threads here on how weddings were arranged and paid for, I recall adjustments are delicately made according to financial abilities. I assume it also depends how open-minded or modern the families are.

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2retirensa says on Feb 20, 2005, 05:14:

I am so happy! As long as he pays and I control, it can´t get any better. Though how much control I can have from the states is yet to be seen. I thought maybe considering our age it would be a little toned down, though I just new that wasn´t going to happen. I can still hope. (Can we elope?) Sam addresses the exact point- noses out of joint.
I think all noses will count except mine- but then I get the groom.
Thanks, Maureen

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jaramillo says on Feb 20, 2005, 05:29:

Where I come from the father of he bride pays.

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dwmte says on Feb 20, 2005, 06:28:

i'm really not sure... how it works...when we we're married 15 + yrs ago, since i was the one, relatively speaking, who had the deep pockets, i just told my wife to do what she wanted to do and it would be taken care of.

as some of you may recall at your own marriages in colombia...there's a whole lot of faces you didn't know then, and, quite possibly, still don't know.

we recently had a visitor from boston, a friend of my wife, who said she was at our wedding and sat for an hour talking to me. duh?

nice lady, but? who the &%#$ is she? i'll probably never know.

good luck. and by the way, i think it is important to keep all noses blown and in place. otherwise.....

i made the mistake of hiring a 'primo' 15 years ago and later having to fire him because he was a lout. should have listened to my father, "...never hire family."

good luck,

dw

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KirkWest53 says on Feb 20, 2005, 06:33:

What I did When we were married, I paid for everything, wedding, reception, flowers ect. I even paid to have the priest, a friend of my wife's family fly to Barranquilla for the ceremony. Given the exchange rate of the US dollar, it was very inexpensive to have a first rate classy wedding. It cost me about $3K total and we had a story book wedding with a great reception, dancing till 3, illegal whiskey, band ect. I am a working class mand in the US, but the dollars go a long ways in Colombia, so it was up to me to pay. My wife planned everything and she did a great job of it.

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Tiger1ne says on Feb 20, 2005, 06:46:

who's in control ? Any married man that tell's you he is the boss at home will lie about something else.Just humor is all.
Question? Could anyone tell me what to expect in questions my fiance will be asked at the Embassy concerning the K-1 visa? My background is in law enforcement and I have learned to always expect the unexpected. Just in General please and the time frame for the visa once the intervies is over?
Thanks

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dwmte says on Feb 20, 2005, 06:47:

kirk west is right... the u.s.$$$ goes a long way...especially since it was 450 P to the $ back in 1989-90.

another point to remember, i never said a word about me having paid for anything, ever... i just told her (and her mom) to do what would please them and it would be taken care of. it avoids foolish, empty arguments in the future that crop up in marriages there that i'm familiar with. kind of like the financial version of 'he said-she said'.

to this day, i let the mrs do what she wants within our means, which are no longer large. the reason is she is extremely frugal and prudent. i could trust her with the 'crown jewels'. i actually wish we had more money for her to spend, she's so responsible and honest.

thank you colombia, you gave me, truly, one of your finest.

dw martin

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ARMacleod says on Feb 20, 2005, 06:52:

Nice one dwmte. "Thank you Colombia, you gave me truly, one of your finest".

'And I got the other one'.

JVH

Being of sound mind and generously disposed. You may hold me personally and legally liable for anything that utopiacowboy, dwmte and everyone else, except Kerry/LM/G/Numbnuts, says. 'Be happy'.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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dwmte says on Feb 20, 2005, 07:11:

appreciate the comment, king james.. sorry for the bretheren who have difficulties saying what they feel in a way that doesn't alienate/separate folks. learning is really slow. oft times tough as well, as our dumb ass personalities get in the way and block progress.

one of my teachers shared an instructive story with me many years ago..."...he who knows not and knows not that he knows not, is a fool, shun him; he who know not and knows that he knows not, is a child, teach him; he who knows and knows that he knows, is wise, follow him.' i think i shared that in another link at some time when it seemed appropriate. i'm just getting so ^$%%$# old--just can't catch up with old gringo--that i can't always remember who it was i said i was, or when...

thanks again,

douglas

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juanalejo says on Feb 20, 2005, 08:20:

Depends If the financial conditions of the family are good enough to match the couples expectations then the brides family pays for anything involving the party and the groom pays for anything involving the church, but normally now everybody chips in including the couple itself.

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ARMacleod says on Feb 20, 2005, 08:28:

You are welcome good Sir. But you left out the g (*)in the expletive(^$%%$#) should read am "too ^$%%$#* old" (And me, dear fellow, and me)

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions."¡El diablo me hizo hacerlo!" But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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sandramoreno80 says on Feb 20, 2005, 09:45:

Hi Maureen,

If you are interested at looking at a Colombian wedding then go over into my personal gallery where I have posted some photos of my cousins wedding in 2003. In no way am I suggesteing that theirs was a typical Colombian wedding, but of the two that I have attended in Armenia, it followed the same pattern.

Church ceremony then reception held at finca, where dancing was offered and a buffet meal.

But I have heard of small dos being done, where it has been a civil wedding at the notary office (do not know how many guests can attend them) followed by a small "copa de champana" served with the cutting of the cake, chit chat, photos and then goodbye. This can take place at a house or a hotel reception room can be reserved.

I also think that notarios can perform the service anywhere really (for a fee I believe), my second cousin had a civil service done for his second wedding at the country club where the the reception was held in Bogota, then they had a coctail party afterwards, with only nibbles and drinks being served.

Also in Colombia they have a type of division with their invitations, where "participan" means you inform them that you are getting married at so and so church/notary but are not really inviting them. Then the "invitan" is where you are inviting them to the church/ notary and/or the reception.

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utopiacowboy says on Feb 20, 2005, 14:10:

The rule is simple. He who has the dinero pays. Hell, if she had any money why would she be marrying a gringo anyway?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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2retirensa says on Feb 20, 2005, 19:49:

Great Input Sandra, your photos are great. I like the "small do's" idea. From all the shareing, I think I see whatever we (I) want will be fine. I know almost no one and he knows almost everyone. It will be definetly to many people for me to remember in the end anyway.
Maureen

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dwmte says on Feb 21, 2005, 05:10:

truth be told, maureen... both of you pay for the rest of your lives. it's my prayer that the payment is now and in the future, with love.

good luck to all of you (that including the families)

dw

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