What's your take on getting involved with a women with children?

aztec says on Jun 7, 2009, 10:30:

In my experience the EX will case you more problems than the children. Whether you are in the States or in Colombia.

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richardshari says on Jun 7, 2009, 10:48:

Very true Aztec! Dad's like that go by the saying, "perro que no come y no deja comer"

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richardshari says on Jun 7, 2009, 10:49:

Sorry to hear about your split, PCL.

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La_Huella says on Jun 7, 2009, 10:55:

Why not move down to Colombia and be with her there?

There is no way around it in any case, unless BOTH parents agree for the kid to leave the country, the kid can't leave.

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honey says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:01:

How terribly sad for all three of you and how incredibly selfish of the dad AND the grandmother. This is a losing situation all around.

Life is what happens when you're busy making plans - John Lennon.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:10:

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:16:

Kind words all around! Pleasantly surprised and grateful! I was expecting the serial obnoxious, sarcastic cynics to be out in full force, Ill give it a little while more jaja. Moving down is not an option right now with my business, but being the business owner did give me the flexibility to go down like 6 times a year. Yes my ex suegra was taking it just as hard as us if not even harder..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:22:

Kat, I have to agree with you. There's a pre-existing bond of parenthood that cannnot be overlooked, even if the father has been contributing little to the upbringing of the child, we know only one side of this story, HER side or YOUR interpretation on what she has told you. There are lots Colombian fathers who contribute little, in some cases because their economic situations don't permit them but who still want to be part of their children's lives. There's the grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins...to let a child that has bonded with both families to be taken to a foreign country by mummy's new BF or gringo hubby is not that easily accepted.

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

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Bill Turley (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:25:

Bill Turley (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:27:

cableboy says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:28:

Raising someone else's spawn is the most foolish thing a man can do.

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La_Huella says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:33:

BT, forget about it, there's no way around that one. The only way would be to put a gun to the guy's head and force him to sign. Colombians are notoriously stubborn when it comes to issues like that though, you'd probably have to do it literally over his dead body. So unless you're willing to commit murder, it's a closed case.

I actually have to agree with Desi on this one too. I would love more than anything to take my kids to Colombia with me to live, but that just ain't happening as long as their mother is around. They belong with her, and there is nothing I can do to change that.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:34:

DESI, I dont know what you mean my interpretation of what she has told me, there is no ambiguity here because I was living it and IN the situation up to my neck. The "father" in the 3 years of being together ALSO fathered ANOTHER child, another boy with another girl as well.. He has time to make other babies but not to contribute hardly with this child? You are becoming one of those things that you most despise here, A "generalizer", Its not like I just popped out of the thin air and I was my ex fiances' NEW GRINGO BOYFRIEND as you like to put it, your simplifying it to the extreme.. we are talking about 3 years of blood, sweat an tears literally full to the brim of all kinds of emotions..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:35:

Nucknfuts says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:40:

Have you tried or thought about bribing him.
Money most always works wonders.

You are never lost, unless you don't want to be where your at.

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RogueOne says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:41:

Sorry for the unexpected hurdle PCL, I can appreciate. It's a thought on the minds of many who date - and it goes both ways. The Colombians worry about the "history" of their new mates as well. The fact that this change was unexpected and unannounced at a bad time only reveals how wrong and dishonest it is. The family members are indeed being selfish and causing harm, in the big picture. I agree with Jeff.

As far as the title question, I'm in favor of dating those with kids, with careful consideration of the children and each person involved. I found the young unattached girls more irresponsible and unpredictable; less grounded, tolerant, and loyal.

I'd advise sticking it out and don't give up. Many hurdles to come, my friend. You're still in love, so God bless you both.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:44:

"No I think is selfish of her in thinking just in herself, has she been thinking about her child feelings? maybe she doesn't want to upset anyone, but I am sure she wants to see her dad nad grandma often. How often P/C/L can bring them to Colombia for them to keep that contact. sI think they all have to agree and think WHAT IS THE BEST FOR THE CHILD EMOTIONALLY""

This is another reason I really wanted to get married and get this over with ASAP, I was going down like 6 times a year and I was blowing through alot of cash and my savings, so putting an end to the "bleeding" was also considered in her coming to the states, so I would spend less and continue saving for our future! I was WILLING to come back 2 times a year, 2 weeks each,, One for Sermana Santa and the other in December for the feria and ano neuvo... But it is over since the beginning of the year and though very devastated I am moving forward with my life quite amicably!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:01:

If this father was such a dead beat and wanted nothing to do with his son why didn't he relinquish his parental rights to the child and you adopt him,or why didn't you try to push for adopting him in the 2.5 years if he was such a bad dead beat father as you claim.

The fact is you did nothing,you just wanted to do the easy thing for you and drag him to the worst country in the world with no paperwork on your end. You even say that he "helping very minimally but still kind of involved" what you think is minimally help maybe a lot of money for him .It sounds like you are the selfish one trying to drag a kid from his father to bring to the USA.

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:03:

Luver, you said things were fine between you and your GF until she told her child's grandma that the child may be taken out of the country; the reaction is totally natural and the father is getting more involved because he doesn't want to lose his child. So it hasn't been 3 years of blood, sweat and tears. I think the best thing for that child is what you are doing now: moving on and letting this child grow up with his own people, own families, own relatives, even if it means less material wealth. Perhaps, if you love this girl and the little guy so much you can continue contributing to the child's education with money from time to time. That'd be the selfless thing to do.

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:09:

Best to marry a widow which is what I did.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:21:

I agree with you Clyde 100% .

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:33:

Stephen_Aubry says:

"If this father was such a dead beat and wanted nothing to do with his son why didn't he relinquish his parental rights to the child and you adopt him,or why didn't you try to push for adopting him in the 2.5 years if he was such a bad dead beat father as you claim."

I dont know why he didn't relinquish his parental rights, but im assuming thats not an option with most Colombian parents, They like to be vain and selfish on purpose. He is a deadbeat, while minimally supporting his child and in that span fathering another child with another woman. Now he has 2 babies to be a deadbeat dad to..

Drag him to the worst country in the world? Im not moving to Canada, what are you talking about? Listen and listen well Stephen, CANADA SUCKS and you will always be a bunch of wannabes. Its funny the only people who like canadians are other Canadians,, Not even Montreal wants to be part of you and is has been wanting to become a separate country. Do us both a favor and make use of the ignore button feature you dumb fool.

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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miamimike says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:39:

Is being a stepdad and option for you? Or maybe you are in this type of relationship already?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would never get into a situation of being a Stepdad. I speak from Experience from having a Step-parent at a point in my life and it wasn't good. There are some good Step-parents out there but most are not good.

This Dead Beat Dad is looking for a Cash Payoff-one tried this con game on a Buddy of mine in Col and he told the guy to take a Hike. That's why (in this case)he(dead beat mala paga Papi) won't sign off on relinquishing his parental rights--until the Gringo Cash Register goes Ka-Ching and greases his palm with Greenbacks. Ben Franklin $100s only, Thank You. Move on and find a Single one without kiddies or as Utopia wrote, find a Widow-- someone with grown and Independent Children out of the house.

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:42:

Desi, It has been 3 years of blood, sweat and tears as a relationship, who are you to judge? lol This is a story of a ex couple one of who had a son with a deadbeat dad who still found time to father ANOTHER child with another woman, and me and my ex girl to get married and move to the states and thats it..It happens all day everyday with 1000's of kids from Colombia and all other parts of the world.. its called migration.. Thats its plain and simple... Whats all of this talk, live and let live and let him live and grow up with his "people", Hi family? That would be his mother and I. I love the little guy still and if anything dire happened would be there to help support him. I DID LOVE THIS GIRL but now am falling out of love with her..


" if you love this girl and the little guy so much you can continue contributing to the child's education with money from time to time. That'd be the selfless thing to do."

I love the little guy still and if anything dire happened would be there to help support him. I DID LOVE THIS GIRL but now am falling out of love with her and I dont think its my responsibility to give support to any decisions including his education in the future... I mean when does it end? There has to be a cut off.. enough is enough.. its all or nothing..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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mcheasley says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:43:

PCL, So he says he wont sign the papers??? I'm sure grandma has alot to do with that... So just for a little satisfaction tell them the 3 of you are moving to another part of Colombia (the farthest distance you can think of) and that you wont be coming back to visit..... Tell them that they have left you no choice, because its for a job offer in Colombia.... Give them a few days to ponder that situation, and then give them the option of signing the papers as you would be visiting regularly from the States.... It cant hurt anymore than what you are going through now, so why not try...... Grandmas have all the power in ColombiaI I have found.... Never see the child, or regular visits...... hmmmmm! Just my thoughts..... Good luck....

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miamimike says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:43:

clyde says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:16 (today): flag

I encourage men to stay away from dating single mothers at all costs. Yes, I know this doesn't seem fair, but consider it from another point of view: relationships are very difficult as it is. Adding kids to the mix raises this difficulty exponentially. Further, the laws in this country can actually make a man liable for 100% of the child's expenses even though he isn't the father! This happens all the time. Unfair? You bet! But that's the way things are in this "feminized world" we live in today. Until we get this changed (unlikely to be soon), this is the #1 reason why men should avoid dating single mothers.

===============================

You nailed it square on the had Clyde! Spot on. You are being realistic in what you write above and that is fair! Bring a Minor Kiddy into the USA and US immigration says you are on the Hook for 10 years(no, not just 5 years as you are with the Kiddie's mami) financially for his/her well being. Caveat Emptor

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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miamimike says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:50:

cableboy says on Jun 7, 2009, 11:28 (today): flag

Raising someone else's spawn is the most foolish thing a man can do.
====================

Bingo. Here in the States if you feel warm & fuzzy & altruistic, help a Kid out by joining Big Brothers & Sisters

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:53:

"Grandmas have all the power in ColombiaI I have found.... "

Amen to that brother!! She had a MAJOR saying and pull in this situation.. IT was her who put up the most protest NOT the father!!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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miamimike says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:54:

PCL--Sounds like you have your answer,,,

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:57:

she could pressure him to pay the support he is suppose to be paying, in my case it was sort the same in the way my wife had 2 kid at first he didnt want the kids to go but when he found out he was going to have to pay an if the kids went he would he changed his mind.to give up on 3 years for that is not good there is other options if you really care for her you can get him to sign with out the gun but you girl must agree to fight just as had as him an to hurt him where it hurts the most his pocket colombia does have laws that require him to pay child support good luck

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RogueOne says on Jun 7, 2009, 12:59:

It is a too-rare man who can be a good father. Always a challenge.

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Robert Jorge says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:00:

miamimike, it is 10 years for mommy also. At least that's what my affidavit of support says.

"You can not take the barrio out of the girl you really can't." Oneforamillion

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miamimike says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:05:

RJ--Immigration at the West Palm Beach Office told my buddy it was 5 for the Mother, 10 for the Kids. Maybe they were in error or my buddy erred in relating the story to me. Wow, 10 years for both--one would have to think VERY hard before committing,,,In this day and age, I for one, would not! Lifes too short

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:13:

I am the dumb fool ,hmmmmm okay.I have never go out with anyone with kids nor would I ever do that, yes I guess in your world I am dumb fool because I am not a sucker for punishment like you.

Everyone knows the USA is the worst country in the world ,people just go there to make money and save so they can get the F*** out ASAP.

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:18:

The separation actually happened at the beginning of the year and I am quite over it now, I have a new lady friend in MDE now.. I just thought I would share my experiences with other members here on PBH and other guys could chime as well with their own experiences OR even If some members are in this situation right now or contemplating that they might be in this situation in the near future.. Its a win win full of info and opinions for all single men here.

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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goin_south says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:24:

some good female (colombian) poster here told me a year ago:
... Colombian/latin mothers will MOVE THE EARTH for their boys.
..........She's right. And, that's okay. But, sometimes they move the earth IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.
_______

And, that left me thinking this: Why don't they have the same tenacity towards their girls?

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:31:

"And, that left me thinking this: Why don't they have the same tenacity towards their girls?"

Maybe because they think and believe the boys will become men and the breadwinners?

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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goin_south says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:34:

okay. So, then the mothers themselves are holding the girls back as for the issues of equality for the sexes.
(another good topic for whole other thread?)

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:40:

"I am the dumb fool ,hmmmmm okay.I have never go out with anyone with kids nor would I ever do that, yes I guess in your world I am dumb fool because I am not a sucker for punishment like you."

I knew she had a child when I got involved with her and until the last 6 months they where some of the best times and memories of my life. I am so happy to have met her little guy and he has meant so much too me and has given me some valuable learning pointers when I have my own kids. You have never gotten involved with a women with kids.. Thats you, good for you? Who gives a shit, Whats your point.. Who's being punished here? Besides some emotional distress in the beginning I am completely over it and completely content.

Your constant USA bashing is as tired as your rhetoric.. I love my country,, have been for 40yrs, Everything I own, Including my business is because of my capitalistic society.. Im not going to let you hijack this thread and turn it into a USA vs Canada thread.. Why dont you start your own thread about that topic p.s Canada still sucks..lol

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:47:

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 13:49:

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:10:

The kid just turned 6, so I first me him at 3yrs old.. As far as the bribing Kat, I know you dont agree on this but WHO would the child know if his Dad was bribed?

Remember people this is PAST TENSE for I am a free man with a New Love in MDE..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Pappassito (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:19:

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:22:

stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:33:

no hijack here you said you wanted to bring him to the USA not me.

People like you are always taking ,you just think you just take some guys kid and trot off the USA.. one word CRAZY,this guy puts you in your place,you don't get your own way you act like a big baby and break up with her.You have this big business what you can't move here,you just expect people to revolve around you.

I have a few friends from the USA great guys but you leave a lot to desired.

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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Mephisto410 says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:38:

To each his own, but personally there is absolutely no chance that I would get with a girl with kids. None, zilch, nada. I am a firm believer in never say never, but this here, I will say never. Yea its hard to say after you spent 3 years with her and grew attached to her and perhaps the kid, but why not make it easier on yourself and just cut it off in the beginning as soon as you learn there is a kid? I don’t care how good she looks, how much money she has, how good the sex is, nothing, she has a kid to me there is no point. If I want kids I will have my own, to love take care and dedicate my life for, not do the same for some other idiots kids. There is just too many girls in this world, especially in Colombia to justify getting involved with one that already has baggage. Im sorry to all that are in this situation, and I am only saying I wouldn’t do it, doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t, you can do what you want, im not judging. As for PCL perhaps it is better that you ended it with her and now have a new romance in Medellin, hope you the best in your new endeavor.

Induite vos arma Dei ut possitis stare adversus insidias diaboli

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:50:

Im talking about hjacking a thread with your political bullshit Canada is the best ranting,,

People like me are thinking I can just waltz away with the kid and thats it? Its that simple to you simpleton? You have no fricken clue... Guy puts me in my place? What did he do? Just decide not to sign and relinquish parental right because of selfishness. Yes I have my own business, where did I say it was big OR small? I dont want to retire yet, Im still doing good business its called the American Dream! I dont want to move to Colombia not now maybe not ever.
I know and work with alot, many many Canadians and I all I can say I have never met who is such an assuming obnoxious ass like yourself.. Didnt I tell you already that you should have taken advantage of the ignore button feature? Canada will ALWAYS be second best, ALWAYS, get over it already.. and second best is being nice..lol foad troll

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 14:56:

"To each his own, but personally there is absolutely no chance that I would get with a girl with kids. None, zilch, nada. I am a firm believer in never say never, but this here, I will say never. "

I bet there are many guys on here who have wives or girlfriends with kids.. but after reading some of the pessimistic nay sayers, I dont think they'll ever chime in for fear of being ridiculed.. ji ji lol

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:06:

Anyone that goes out with a women with kids and has no kids already of their own is a SUCKER.

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:08:

Mephisto410 says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:13:

Im not being pessimistic, just realistic. Its asking for trouble and headaches to get involved in said relationships, I would also say even masochistic because you have a choice, nobody is forcing it down your throat, you chose to take on the relationship from the get go. Also I am looking at this from the point of view of someone in their mid 20s who is looking for a girl to start my own family with and would not get involved with one that already has kids. You mentioned you were in your 40s so perhaps you have kids of your own already or previously married I don’t know, but this certainly changes the dynamics of it. Im from NYC land of the liberals and alternative lifestyles, so no im not putting anybody down nor judging, I am only stating my opinion, and understand that others have their own and are allowed to live their lives accordingly.

Induite vos arma Dei ut possitis stare adversus insidias diaboli

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:18:

my wife had 2 kids when i met her she an those kids are the best thing that happen to me.i wouldnt change anything and now we have 5 children an for those who dont like the usa no problem stay out. my wife loves it here an would prefer to live here the rest her life.

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:25:

"Im not being pessimistic, just realistic. Its asking for trouble and headaches to get involved in said relationships, I would also say even masochistic because you have a choice, nobody is forcing it down your throat, you chose to take on the relationship from the get go. "

Oh I know this very well, I made my be and was sleeping in it happily for the most part. I think some people here have the notion that I am devastated and traumatized, nothing could be further from the truth, I knew exactly what I was getting into but then again nobody but god knew how it was going to turn out, only theories! I am very grateful for the experience and being her and meeting her son and it has taught me much I learned a life experience and am moving on, thats it NO MORE NO LESS and I cherish each and every minute we were together. Maybe somebody else here could read this thread and it cold help somebody along. Who knows?

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:27:

Funny, I had the opposite reaction. The father was more than willing. Sad, but I think he sees his child as a burden to his lifestyle. That's ok, his loss is my gain!

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:28:

absolutly

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:32:

Anyone can have a child, it takes a real man to be a father. In my case, I would be willing to fight the father legally if need be. But, I dont have to. I intend to love this child as if she were my own. I am so sure about the woman that I would even be willing to pay the father if I had to, but I don;t have to. Our situation actually is different, I am moving to Colombia. But if she wanted to come here, the father would have no problem signing, he has already said that. I feel for the original poster, it is a sad situation.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:35:

Nice stories Morgan and Bogotaflying. I was so open to it that if thats what it was going to be for me, than thats what it is... it is what it is and I was willing and ready for that challenge..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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scooby_1781 (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:36:

bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:37:

sex monger

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:39:

In my opinion, if it is true love, it is worth fighting for. I firmly believe that everyone has a near perfect match. When you meet that person, you will know and will be willing to do anything that you have to in order to make it work.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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goin_south says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:40:

" but to tell you the truth is the mother who will know what will be the BEST for her child and what's not, "

Sorry kat1. But, mothers don't always know what is best.
Perhaps you do, because I think you are likely a really great mom.
Not across the board.

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:41:

why?

Here is the results of your girlfriend having sex with another man looking at you everyday.Your paying money out your pocket for your girlfriend having sex with another man.
The father is always around ,baggage from past relationships.Also there will be problems with the kid saying crap like "your not my real dad".Why do this to yourself, it is not worth the headache.No thanks not for me,not my thing call me selfish I don't care.If it works for you okay great but from point of view your a sucker.

Have a good day.

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:46:

"stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:41 (today): flag

why?

Here is the results of your girlfriend having sex with another man looking at you everyday.Your paying money out your pocket for your girlfriend having sex with another man.
The father is always around ,baggage from past relationships.Also there will be problems with the kid saying crap like "your not my real dad".Why do this to yourself, it is not worth the headache.No thanks not for me,not my thing call me selfish I don't care.If it works for you okay great but from point of view your sucker."

WOW!

Thank God that not all men think like this. There would be alot of really great women with children that are alone.
How can you possibly have such a "holier-than-thou" attitude and call people suckers?

It just goes to show you why some great women are so unsure of men when they have kids. They are afraid that men will think this way.

No sir, men that take on the role of a loving husband and father to a woman with children are not suckers; they are good men.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:49:

really stephen that pretty childish to think that way if you are waiting for the one woman who hasnt had sex with some one else you will most likely be waiting along time for mis right my 2 older children know who there father is as well they know who is there real dad any man can be a sperm doner it takes a real man to be a dad.

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:49:

That is assuming the worst.

If you are really afraid of that happening, then it is better that you find a single woman with no kids.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:49:

Robi if you are a desperate sex monger you are in the wrong place, go to your ISG you talk about all the time.. ji ji lol

Where not going to lower this thread by going off topic and start with the sex monger talk are we? ugggg god...

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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goin_south says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:50:

"get a colombianita with a little boy instead BUT THEN ......"
..................but then what if the lil boy hated you all this time for taking him away from his father, family and country and wnt to tthe cops and chared your ass with molestation... Oh! OH!

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:59:

the question is "What's your take on getting involved with a women with children?"

my answer is your a sucker, no holier-than-thou attitude

Have a good day

" Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:59:

Robi who are you talking about? What are you talking about, I have been single since January but I have a few lady friends if thats what you mean.... LADY FRIENDS... and thats it... I have chosen one that I think im getting serious about... I hate that word NOVIA because its sounds presumptuous... are you boracho today on this glorious Sunday or what? lol

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:06:

My friend... these are true stories given to me right out of the girls mouths,.. you read the stories...I have lady friends quite a few but only one im getting serious about and thats the one whose little sister got robbed... poor little thing.. You mean there are people who have nothing else better to do than to waste time writing bullshit stories just to get reactions? Thats pretty pitiful..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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goin_south says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:06:

that's good perspective, Modefoq.
One guys should think about.
Must be the reason, I find an attraction to those who's fathers are no longer alive :-))

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:07:

yeah...what sapo said........burp.....

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:10:

Elmo, violence doesnt solve anything,, ji ji lol

G.S, I guess I should check the obituaries and do some widow door knocking next time, huh? lol

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Mephisto410 says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:10:

but elmo, its much more fun when the machete is dull... nothing that a little elbow grease wont fix.

Induite vos arma Dei ut possitis stare adversus insidias diaboli

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:14:

"elmodefoque says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:04 (today): flag

as a colombian ,i 'll i give the colombian father point of view
if some modefoque came to take my kid AWAY FOR EVER , am coming after that modefqoue with two machetes
the spare machete is when the first one gets dull from ALL the whacking i'm gonna be doing on his ass."

And as a Hispanic man, I'll say it to you like this. If you are not helping support and raise your children, then step back and give way to someone who is willing to do it for you. If you love your child, you should not hinder their life. Step up to the plate, or get the hell out of the way.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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Monita Linda says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:27:

Just accept, as a fact of life, by a certain age women in Colombia (and many other parts of the world) have a kid or kids. I don't see that as a problem, where it not that those kids have fathers..

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Monita Linda says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:28:

And they often car sh*** about their kids, until mom gets a new novio.

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:30:

chicks with kids....no colmbian man wants.

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:37:

sound more like the colombian women are sick at tire of the colombian men treating them like crap so they look for the best way out.

besides most still live with there mommies
and dont have jobs to pay for the kids they father

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Terry2 says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:38:

Geez guys.... this is a child we are talking about. What difference does it make who fathered the child. If you develop a relationship with the mother and child...it should be a no brainer. These are young innocent minds that beg to be molded and wanted... they do give a lot of joy in return.

Hell, who knows, you could have fathered a child and he could turn out to be an American ( back atcha Paisa?Calena/Luver).

And for Stephen.... I see you were born Canadian. I think the doctor slapped the wrong end.

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:40:

absolutly

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:40:

There are good and bad men and women everywhere. Not just in Colombia. Men with that attitude that women with children are the ones who have trouble finding happiness many times. Everyone has freedom of choice in who they are with. I think that many times the men are the ones with the problems more than the women are.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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bogotaflying says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:42:

"Geez guys.... this is a child we are talking about. What difference does it make who fathered the child. If you develop a relationship with the mother and child...it should be a no brainer. These are young innocent minds that beg to be molded and wanted... they do give a lot of joy in return.

Hell, who knows, you could have fathered a child and he could turn out to be an American ( back atcha Paisa?Calena/Luver).

And for Stephen.... I see you were born Canadian. I think the doctor slapped the wrong end."

I agree with you 110%. I feel the same way. Every child deserves to be loved by a mother and father. Being a father is MUCH more than just biology and genetics.

"La Única Razón Para No Triunfar En La Vida Es No Haber Nacido"

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:45:

....burp........ where is the party sunday night.....restraunt row??

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 16:51:

the bottom line is everyone is different everyones situation is different what one person likes the other might not if you fall for a woman (colombian,american, or from anyother country in the world) an she has kids you know up frount what you are getting in to and no one can tell you what to do if there is problem with them relocating then no one can tell you what to do if you want this person you will find a way'

you all have a good night

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allanedwardss says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:02:

My experience though different then yours….

I dated ladies with kids, always could make a good connection. Problem always, the biological father… Solution, I said to “God” Ok if I ever met another lady with a kid the Biological father needs to have died. (Imagine me – setting out the rules to God (foolish))

So wouldn’t you guess the next lady I meet has a kid, and the father is dead. Were now married, no father issues. Some other things but all is well. This is all within the last 2 years.

Hope you can move forward.

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:33:

Elmo's right, I have to laugh listening to idiot gringos think they are God's gift to women and that every Colombiana would be happier with a gringo. Like hell, the vast majority would be happier with a Colombiano, not some idiot gringo.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:35:

....burp.....

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:37:

keep telling yourself that utopiacowboy maybe you will begin to beleive it

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utopiacowboy says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:39:

I can speak Spanish, dude, so I know what they're saying behind your back.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:40:

i speak spanish to dude

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:41:

ok grandpa........

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rmorgan3 says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:42:

thats true i am an proud of it

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:43:

who doesn't speak spanish here?? (i wasn't talking to you Morgan...apology)

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miamimike says on Jun 7, 2009, 17:48:

stephen_aubrey says on Jun 7, 2009, 15:41 (today): flag

.
"The father is always around ,baggage from past relationships.Also there will be problems with the kid saying crap like "your not my real dad".
=======================================================================================

And this will happen; Kid says ""your not my real dad".

No hay Peor Ciego que el que no quiere Ver o Sordo que el que no quiera Oir--Soy Yo, Sarah Palin, Wasilla Alaska.

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Lisa Zee says on Jun 7, 2009, 18:02:

"I have a new lady friend in MDE now.." your name is not "paisa calena lover" for nothing!.
I hope this paisa does not have children.

Suerte

Vive la vida y deja vivir!.

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goin_south says on Jun 7, 2009, 18:04:

The Answer to solving all of these dating & mating problems:

(to be revealed, later tonight.... right now, I'm busy with business)

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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el norteño (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 7, 2009, 19:52:

Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 7, 2009, 20:09:

That what? I had a girlfriend with a kid and it didnt work out? Ahh I dont think thats too revealing or uncommon. Its probably alot more common then people here will care to admit. El Norte, Not everybody here was useless and there where alot of helpful, constructive comments, sure you had your usual serial trolls and antagonizers. The rest know me very well it is my pleasure to take IT as well as I can give IT out! lol Plus I dont know anybody on here in person, not one person, so we all remain anonymous with egos intact, right? Plus my story I dont feel was to revealing, just an instance that could happen to anybody who has had a girlfriend with a kid.. Cheers!

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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bam m says on Jun 7, 2009, 20:37:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJmX1z1NY2c

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jun 10, 2009, 07:18:

I had some time to kill ..here you have your thread back. I've scraped off the worst crap.
That's the beauty of choosing to close a thread when there's good comments there instead of closing it. It can be re-opened.

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

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webmanco says on Jun 10, 2009, 07:20:

All I can say is Desi that you got a happy finger, that needs to be use with MODERATION.

...................................................................
A soft matress for the maid please.

No hay extremo cierto o verdadero, porque los extremos opacan, enruedan, (lavan cerebros) verdades. Yotas

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Jun 10, 2009, 07:29:

Most kind of you! Maybe some other members can add some of their experiences..

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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sanandressi says on Jun 10, 2009, 08:46:

A US citizen I know brought a woman from Ecuador with two kids. They divorced after like 4 yearrs of marriage. She got food stamps and he worried about ICE going after him to pay but they never did. She had worked and paid some taxes. It may be a 10 year rule but the ICE has to enforce it and go after the party. With the way they enforce immigration laws I doubt they enforce it much but somebody here will tell me they have.

BTW Somebody above said there are few men who can be good fathers? THANK YOU, I have got full custody of my daughters and I will raise them properly! I might comment on all of this later...? Maybe not?

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Jun 10, 2009, 08:53:

Webmanco...soft mattresses are bad for your health.

A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

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Darloup (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 10, 2009, 08:59:

Rocco81 says on Jun 10, 2009, 11:15:

GUYS GUYS PLEASE, DON'T FALL FOR THOSE LINES COLOMBIANITAS USE TO GET THE HELL OUTTA BOGOTA, MEDELLIN, CALI ETCC.
famous colombiana lines:
colombian men are mean and treat us like chit , we hate them they suck donkey balls, i love gringo guys long time
now you bump into these colombianas in queens NYC walking hand in hand with a colombian guy, now they don't know you or wanna know you, FORGET YOU!!!

THANK YOU AND HAVE A PEACEFUL EVENING - Elmo


Dude I haved dated many many Latinas here in the US...and guess what they still say the same thing about Latin men. Elmo cannot get over the fact that Latinas might like Gringos.

Sic semper tyrannis

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Rocco81 says on Jun 10, 2009, 11:18:

Too much of this to read through... wow.

Anyhow, I don't think that a woman with kids is my first choice, but I wouldn't rule it out. Love works in weird ways I guess. It is one thing for a woman to have a kid when you meet her and another if she has somebody else's kid while you are with her. The later would make you a complete cuckold chump.

Oh yeah - You have to adopt the child to be 100% liable for it.

Sic semper tyrannis

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Rocco81 says on Jun 10, 2009, 14:05:

Yeah the whole difference thing is true for sure, but even Latin American TV the actors and news anchors look more European and rubio than the average citizens of those countries.

I have said this before and I will still stand by it. Most American and European men tend to represent a little more education and maturity than some of the latino men these women are used to. Now I am not saying this is a fair judgement in any way, but never the less I feel that these women kind of hold that assumption about a lot of gringo's.

Contrary to what Elmo or some of the other guys on here always talk about, the Gringo in a place like Colombia is not viewed only for his cash (Of course if you are talking about pre-pago's it doesn't matter what you look like as long as you have doe you're in.) But they are viewed for other things that might not be true, for instance as I mentioned...an education..class...maturity. These are assumptions that can be completely false but are still very common.

Also, the one thing we get praised for as gringos by my American Latina friends, is that have sometimes grown up seeing their dads have girlfriends, their brothers have more than one girlfriend and when they see that while Gringo's aren't perfect, we are a tab bit less likely to "roam" this is also appealing to a woman who wants a family and what not. To a girl on the prowl looking for cash and fun, then yeah maybe the looks or the doe are more important.

Sic semper tyrannis

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jun 10, 2009, 15:18:

goin_south says on Jun 10, 2009, 18:10:

huh?

nothin I say is to be takn for my words, but rather for the words of Sailor Jerry.

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Papi de Alejo says on Jun 10, 2009, 18:20:

I think that el Sapo is saying that children of men who are not custodial parents can sometimes be seen as taking resources away from the new family.

Live simply... Love generously... Care deeply... Speak kindly...

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