What to do with a depressed Colombian in smallsville, UK?

gringolondinense says on Jul 28, 2006, 04:26:

where are you in the UK? London? or another county? it might help me help you!!

gabo4ever says on Jul 28, 2006, 04:29:

buy him the DVD but expect mixed results... On one hand it so hilarious the way your childhood and whole life is summoned in Andres Lopez's facial movements and actions, but on the other hand it gives you an out of world look at all that you are missing from back home.

It’s an overdose of nostalgia, which I for one cant handle. Its great to joke around with friends and family about the DVD, but another things is to sit down and watch it again...I just cant!

I wouldn’t say I cope, more like I survive, last week as you realised, was another wake up call to how much we miss out on here in the UK. Although there were a few club nights, there wasn’t anything great about being in London. It was just a normal Thursday with no festivals/concerts lined up for the weekend.

Upcoming is the Don Omar concert on the 4th August at Brixton Academy, which should be great, as I’ve heard he gives a good performance and the venue is brilliant.

For the romantics there’s the Jerry Rivera concert at Elephant & Castle Coronet on Sunday 13th August.

So you might want look into getting him a surprise pair of tickets for either one!

But all I can recommend is show him a hell of a lot of Love, and he will snap out of it. I get those moments to, and you learn to ride them out!

Y por si se atreven: Watsamatamaracuya?

elmodefoque says on Jul 28, 2006, 05:43:

I’m sure UK and Europe are great places for Europeans but a guy like me, 10000% Colombian, happy go lucky, devil may care, let’s party, where is the music broads and booze kind of guy, I would just choke myself living there. For an amarillo, azul y rojo colombiano who has to migrate, I could only think of two places to go, Miami, being first and then Queens, NYC. For the love of god, I just can’t picture myself in a London flat, walking out early morning into a quiet, grey , cold rainy day, over and over and over…………… again to get crumpets and tea for breakfast. I swear I would blow my nuts off and watch as I bleed to death. That joyless uniformed, robotic existence is not for me. As a REAL colombino I need that noise, that energy, that desorden that I get in NYC which reminds me of Quilla, especially where I reside.
My two cents, if you don't want that guy to become a miserable, depress old modefoque, get him back to colombia or USA

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

gringolondinense says on Jul 28, 2006, 05:59:

hahhah! the 'foque is right!! :-) Behold the 'foque coz he speaketh the truth!

larumberainglesa says on Jul 28, 2006, 06:19:

You are right foque When I met him he was loud, sang all the time and just did whatever he wanted, when he wanted. He misses just hanging around with the people in bars, fights, talking crap and drinking anytime day or night. Everyone knew him wherever we went and people would call him up because they needed his presence at their parties.
As for crumpets,yeh I do eat them for breakfast (you must try marmite on toast sometime el modefoque and you will see why he hates England so much).I can certify that he has never eaten cereal in his life and he would definitely want someone to shoot him if that happened.Breakfast is only good if it contains fish and rice.
That is it - it's the noise, chaos and disorder he misses so much. Not knowing what will happen to you when you go out the door. What's the point in going out there if you know, right? I know, I lived in Colombia and I miss it too. But for him it's his lifeblood. He goes out trying to find that chaos but always comes home disappointed. He is already miserable and depressed - am I too late? - is he spoiled forever?
Gabsi and gringolondinense we live about 45 mins from London so I try to keep up with whats going on there. Who is Don Omar (a comedian?)and will be going to the canavaldelpueblo if I can get his arse off the sofa for that.
Gabsi you are right - it is just survival for him (like some kind of prison sentence to be got through until he can leave this 'pais de putamierda'). Gotta do something drastic....

elmodefoque says on Jul 28, 2006, 06:21:

the foqueth knowthed it cause i watcheth lots of travel channel and i also talketh to a few modefoqueth that visited there and told me horror stories.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

gabo4ever says on Jul 28, 2006, 06:45:

elmo.. tu si eres embarrada! I tell you what though, London is the pits, but the internet and PBH brighten it up tenfold whilst I await my exit out of work.

Upside is, theres a Bar-B-cue tonite, and maybe some girls from Miami who are over, might come round...so alls not lost in London!

Inglesa...look up Don Omar on google, he does Reggueaton, so not ur thing (i guess) but definetly go to the carnaval!

Y por si se atreven: Watsamatamaracuya?

billyb says on Jul 28, 2006, 06:50:

Larumb, sorry .... about laughing at your poor hubby's misery, but this is a pretty funny thread. Of cousre you and Elmo are correct, what he misses most is the chaos, which is the lifeblood of most Colombians from large cities.

BillyB

elmodefoque says on Jul 28, 2006, 07:02:

If I’m correct, your husband might be a little like me. I need chaos, I don’t care to know what tomorrow brings me, I wanna to be surprise. Most here gotto Colombia and hang out in upscale areas with their very familiar, Domino’s pizza, MacDonald’s, Taco Bell etc. and they need to feel completely safe. That to me is a robotic existence. I take my black ass to places where the real Colombia is, where a drunk may pull a knife or gun on your ass for looking at his toothless ugly woman or having to spit out a piece of rat tail from an empanada you just bought in La Murrillo in south Baranquilla or the ron you bought might make you blind and countless of things that could happen. One day, I will tell you guys, “hey! I'm leaving to Colombia for 3 weeks, see ya!� 6 month later no word from me. What happened? good chance a modefoque shoved a rusty kitchen knife in my throat and I’m dead, but if I make it back is a guarantee I had one hell of a time.
I aint got nothing, I don’t even have a car, but I’m one very content, very happy modefoque with lots of friends and I even get hit on by women old enough to be my mom. That bummed me out, but after much pondering I now feel quite flattered. As a matter of fact I wish I had given her my business card. Old broads need loving too!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

moondance says on Jul 28, 2006, 07:09:

elmo u old so and so......
u make Quilla your home.....mi novia es de Soledad and we have had a few nights where she had to direct me home (her family's house...but they still love me)
I too stay away from tourist and hob-nob places....tell me, as I am a novice (been there only twice).....where to hang
In the eternal words of Neil Young.."See the losers in the best bars....the winners in the dives"

Miguel says on Jul 28, 2006, 07:36:

moondance Check out La Troja Friday through Sunday nights...go with friends...big ones!

Seriously, it is one hell of a party there.

elmodefoque says on Jul 28, 2006, 07:46:

hey moondace, i took miguel to soledad 2000 and came accross the worst traffic jam ever. total chaos, mayhem and anarchy

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

elmodefoque says on Jul 28, 2006, 07:50:

Burros, guys on bicycles, buses, old beat up taxis, pedestrians, decrepit old motorcycles, all going every which way with no cop or traffic enforcement officer around.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

elmodefoque says on Jul 28, 2006, 07:55:

the noise, the dust, the smell of fumes,the hunking and the cursing, man, this was the barranquilla of my youth

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

Peter Miami says on Jul 28, 2006, 08:03:

Colombia, Miami or New York! Like “Elmo� eloquently stated you may have to move if possible. The best places for Colombians to live are Colombia, Miami or New York!

Good luck,

Peter Miami

gringolondinense says on Jul 28, 2006, 08:12:

the noise, the dust, the smell of fumes ...close your eyes and you could be in east london mate! Pie and mash shops, crappy pubs, 50 miles traffic jams etc etc.

Miguel says on Jul 28, 2006, 08:43:

but in East London The total chaos does not have a vallenato soundtrack playing along with it like in south Barranquilla.

The traffic jam elmodofoque refers to took place on the night of Guayacherna, the week before carnaval. The cops just said "f~ck it went to wherever AWOL cops go.

kernow62 says on Jul 28, 2006, 21:13:

You want him to feel at home in the UK, it ain't going to happen. If you want noise, chaos, loud music, rice and fish you need to head north to Bradistan, I mean Bradford. Colombians don't have anything on a Punjabi party. Hell even Elmo could perhaps pass himself off as a Punjabi and meet a few of them gorgeous Indian girls.

mcraig says on Jul 28, 2006, 22:34:

Go to Leeds England Europe an England are like that even if your from Dallas Texas.
Before I was married i met a girl in Cancun had a great time with her. An then flew up to be with her for three weeks in Leeds england the party seen was a blast but its not like being at home. Its too damm cold , british fellows think there better than everyone. But , the women love men that are not brits so its not a bad swap.

Cerealkiller says on Jul 29, 2006, 03:16:

London has a huge colombian community. And there are colombian restaurants pretty much in every zone. Ive been to one in soho, which isnt very good, but im told there is a very nice one in Brixton. I can find the address if you want it...he'll have the chance not only to eat something familiar but also to meet other colombians and that might help...also, even if you live 40 minutes away from london, it is far enough to not enjoy everything there is to do here. In my case, having lived in London and then moving away to uni in Colchester was so miserable (and thats a 45 min train ride) I had to get out of there, so I can only imagine how difficult it is for a costeno...

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

larumberainglesa says on Aug 9, 2006, 09:49:

Colchester? Not far from us cereal killer - been away from PBH - been trying to cheer him up but, nothing. Didn't even want to go to the Latin carnival - things is BAD! Yeh, we go to ~La Mazorca (Brixton) a few times and the one in Elephant and Castle was OK but the chicken got scrawnier and scrawnier almost to British standards (as my husband says about the chicken here - if it ain't got feathers in it it aint British). Honestly he is so down he won't even want to go out to London. The problem is he ways - You know I don't plan anything! and that's how it is. If it is planned he aint interested. But if he waits for that spur of the moment stuff to happen here he will just go on waiting forever.... Yeh elmo, he sounds like you but with an mp3 player and the latest gadget dangling from his pocket (electromnically speaking that is)and no gangster friends to be with.

moondance says on Aug 9, 2006, 10:38:

plain and simple boo..hoo..I do not have my friends here nor my family...things here are not what I thought they would be.....damn, tell him to get either get his ass back to Colombia or grow up
I feel really , really sorry for your man....however, remember one of his jobs in life is to make YOU happy......sorry , but if he has to be a miserable cunt, tell him to carry his ass.....(better to travel hopefully than it is ti arrive)

Cerealkiller says on Aug 9, 2006, 17:55:

I didnt know that was near Essex, but yeah i agree it can be a little depressing, i think the west of london is a little bit more vibrant. JUST A TAD: Can he speak english? Because I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for him having to speak through you whenever he needs anything...but bottomline is marriage entails a lot of sacrifice and if one part is less willing chances are you might have a little bit of a problem.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

. says on Aug 10, 2006, 06:08:

Well! Inglesa, That's life! I am Colombian and have been in UK for 7 long years! 3 in London and the rest in Bristol. I miss so many thinghs from Colombia. I like my english friends, they are really nice, it is just that UK does not have as many things to offer as Colombia (speaking about enjoyable things). I like the way a job is kept in UK, bosses know their jobs and ussually are nice. In Colombia, Bosses do not know anything and they are really bossy,I love driving in England (with my wife beside of me because I have the L), I do not like going in the pubs (they are quite boring) but they have a lovely looking, they are really nice. I love the musseums in London, I love Hydepark, english people is very funny (if you can get the jokes. But, Nothing like Colombia.

Peter Miami says on Aug 10, 2006, 08:16:

I hope thinks get better for you guys.

Good luck,

Peter Miami

elmodefoque says on Aug 10, 2006, 09:09:

brody
mannn, i've not laugh brody
mannn, i've not laugh so hard in a long time. You is one very funny modefoque, but be careful, if kat catches you, your ass is history.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

Peter Miami says on Aug 10, 2006, 09:30:

Very good Brody! lol
Peter Very good Brody! lol

Peter Miami

Peter Miami says on Aug 10, 2006, 09:40:

Cure for PTLD Another good cure for the “Post Traumatic Londoners Disorder� is a good Colombian Aguardiente, like Cristal, Antioqueno, Quindiano, etc. Or what the hell any strong drink.

Peter Miami

elmodefoque says on Aug 10, 2006, 11:23:

brody
I wish I could relate brody
I wish I could relate with ya regarding Cartagena and the damn vendors, but the fact is they never offer me shit; I look as broke as them. I sit there on the beach for hours dying for a drink, a coconut, a foot massage, maybe have my hair braided, anything! but nothing; they just walk by like I was one of them

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

elmodefoque says on Aug 10, 2006, 12:01:

Back in Feb. I was in Boca Grande, Cartagena and my brand new hip was acting up, had hip replacement in December, anyway I wanted a nice massage from one of the ladies but they never stop to offer their services so I follow them around but they would not stop, thought I was gonna rip them off.
Another time I needed a pair of sunglasses to protect my eyes from the harmful rays of the sun, I also had cataract eye surgery in January, but again they thought I wanted to rip them off. Have any of you guys ever experience this?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one.Curramba, el mejor vividero del mundo!

utopiacowboy says on Aug 10, 2006, 13:12:

So. Did you buy anything?
So. Did you buy anything?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

. says on Aug 10, 2006, 13:59:

Brody, Have you... Have you heared about the Italian guy who was killed by the vendor 2 years ago? wht do you think he did (the Italian)?

. says on Aug 11, 2006, 01:02:

Brody Disculpa mi ingles, este nunca sera tan bueno como tu español. que crees que hizo el italiano para meritarse tremenda palisa por parte del vendedor ambulante? me gustaria que tu chistosa respuesta fuera dada en español.

. says on Aug 11, 2006, 05:32:

I am sorry for my english Why do not you ask your mother? she really does it better than my one!, if you do not belive it, just ask to the Soldiers in wantanamo who love your mother's lips! actually you mom is known as the yank hover. ah! you should learn a little bit of spanish before answering in such stupid way. You F...g Y....e.

. says on Aug 11, 2006, 13:04:

Well Brody You are not too bad mate, as well, we can keep on and on for a while, or may be we can set up a new world record of harasments between two lads. it is metter to say, stop the stupidity between us, peace please and you f....k o.....f.

. says on Aug 11, 2006, 15:30:

Great spanish! Hilarious this f…n f…k, I have actually two degrees, one in Banking and Finance in Colombia which I use to count how many pence I have to pay your mummy for fancying every single Colombian guerrillero, one pence for every single man, just imagine that I have spent more than 250,000.00 thousand pounds in less than one year by making the Colombian guerrillas happy with you mother’s lips, she used to do it for free before, but I have been fair to her and I decided to pay the pennies. Then I have got another degree in Mathematics and Statistics in England, which I use to measure how many litres of “semen� you father is able to swallow in one go, actually, he has got restricted entrance to the fertility hospital to avoid he gets indigested. Peace and love F…G P….K, I know you are a great M…R F…..R G…Y. Any way, I am glad to say that your Spanish is getting better, congratulation vendor’s cock sucker. By the way, I have got some sunglasses for sale.

Juanes says on Aug 12, 2006, 08:00:

a veces - la vida en mi cuidad londres es buenos . este mensaje es para los gringos u los extaneros en colombia..( do people from europe and great britain count as gringos in latin america and is it reserved for the mike koplowski's from the US )

1) if the guy wants somewhere exciting, noisy, vibrant and a bit dangerous to remind him of the barrios then why try some of the great council estates tht this great city has to offer eg. white city estate near shepherds bush or the biggeste council estate (strato minus 30) in roehampton (no tubes just a one way bus). im sure a few nites hanging around with the hoodies will be a great invigorating experience.

2) other exciting excursion can be found by venturing out of the worlds fifth most expensive city by going to manchester, birmingham, liverpool, nottingham (murder capital of the uk). go and have ten pints of stella and then be abusive to the people in the town centres and get a donner kebab or curry - the english national cuisine from greece and india.. Que extrano ! you are sure to meet some shaven headed locals who will embrace you with anything apart from a gun really...try looking out for ones wearing burberry or football tops or sports gear..commonly known as chavs...but i think the word chavito in spanish is teenager..

3) try the numerous latin american bars in the elefante y castillo where he can meet his homies around the stockwell area too. im sure he be risueno when he has his fill of empenadas, chorizos, tacos, nachos, tortillas, . there was recently on august 6th the biggest latin american carnival in europe running from london bridge into south london.

4) why not go to see some of the worlds best football teams in either arsenal or chelsea and some of the best players in football (not soccer you north americans) ? if you want to get him a cheap ticket then go to one of the smaller grounds in london like fulham or watford.

5) incidently in july 2006 here for 2-3 weeks it was hotter than rio de janeiro, ibiza in spain , morocco, italy, mexico, sydney in australia, and the greek islands and the middle east...so either these guys are staying in all the time watching english TV or playing Xbox because you only need to take a walk down the river thames or around soho si tu estas un maricon, or convent garden to see loads of big english breasts....so you know guys english women are getting bigger like the american birds compared to their latin ameican compatriots which means big boobs, bis asses in a traditional pear shape figure whereas the latinas eat better, excercise more and take better care of themselves...so i have to admit our girls let themselves go but i feel compensated bu an average cup size of 36D.

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Juanes/

. says on Aug 12, 2006, 13:50:

Depend of! The Gringo is normally any one who is white and from out side of South Amerca, the guy from USA who looks usually as indigenous is usually called chicano or mexicano, but people from USA are usually called Yanks.