What about the single Father with kids, how are we perceived by North American Women as apposed to Colombian Women?

jinksmiester says on Apr 14, 2008, 08:38:

Bieng married in north america is a lot like purchasing a new car....after a few years its got some dings and dents and you can,t seem to find one that will last more than 5 years..
i was a single father and now have a colombian wife and my previous chidren were not a concern to my colombian wife.What was a concern was if i had a good relationship with them.I do believe a lot of north american woman do not want to get involved with a single father and for some i think the money issue comes into play when you are possibly making support payments...but im sure it goes the other way as well with some guys not wanting single mothers..(manny guys are scared) and rightly so that after shacking up for 6 months the lady will split and seek income from the guy they were with to increase there child support and have two guys paying...(.it happens...i have a couple friends making support payments because they moved in with a lady and asumed the father figure role even though they were not the biological fathers.
Im happy with my colombian wife...the ladys i met here would say ...i have this ...and i have that...and ive got a nice car and big fancy house and all i could do was think..(what poor s.o.b. paid for that and do i want to get involved so she can increase her assets at my exspense..

A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams

Mononoke28 says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:15:

Well, I think women are selfish for the most part and it would be hard on them (us) to have to share our "couple" time with the children that will be hanging around all the time.

But in reference to the same situation in Colombia, you have to keep in mind that single men taking care of their children, which are very few, get a lot of help from their mothers and sisters. So in a way, they're not doing this alone and the women in his family will still take care of the child. This will in turn give him more "free" time with the ladies.

Diana

morphus says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:27:

"So why wasnt he good enough for North American Women???"

They have jobs and money. Therefore, they can be more picky. They are looking for men with "goals"....someone that is going to make lots of money and buy them a big house. They want to be equals in the relationship. They are looking for a man that is going to be their best friend and have so much in common. The truth is men and women don't have much in common. All I expect from a wife is to cook, clean and to have sex. An American women is'nt get to wait for me to get home from work and have dinner ready. I just want to eat my dinner, drink my booze, hump on her and go to sleep. Thats what a real wife is for.

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:32:

After 18 years, I cant really say that I will ever get married again. But it is nice to get into an uncomplicated relationship. It is very difficult to understand the perception from within the United States

"There's no time to panic"

nueva york bombero says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:37:

Morph, you are a true romantic!!!!

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:39:

Thats funny morph!

"There's no time to panic"

PALEOLITICO says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:47:

dinero, dinero, dinero... Es USA si las personas no son ricas entonces no tienen valor o qué??

"Amar a las personas y usar las cosas; y no amar a las cosas y usar a las personas"

morphus says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:54:

Money is'nt real. A lot of people don't realize that.

nueva york bombero says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:00:

Yeah, but it would be REAL nice to have some!!!!

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:40:

Paleolitico, I believe that feminism in the United States has gone so far out of control that both men and women have lost their identity. Not all, but most women come at a dollar figure and with a list; "No dishes, no cooking, no cleaning, spend money on whatever i want, you have to tell me what you are doing but i dont have to tell you". It has become The American Way".

"There's no time to panic"

PALEOLITICO says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:47:

doc, es muy triste. Pero hay gringos que aunque encuentran mujeres bien diferentes a esto, tampoco las desean. Conclusión: Nadie está contento con lo que tiene.

"Amar a las personas y usar las cosas; y no amar a las cosas y usar a las personas"

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:49:

Paleolitico.....Nobody?

"There's no time to panic"

Frank Rizzo says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:59:

I agree with Morphus......!!

PALEOLITICO says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:02:

doc, bueno, es la tendencia de los seres humanos....

"Amar a las personas y usar las cosas; y no amar a las cosas y usar a las personas"

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:32:

Are there no Colombian Women out there, with a comment on how they perceive us single gringos with kids? Where are the North American Women?

"There's no time to panic"

ColombianoGringo says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:43:

My kids don't live with me, but I was still concerned about this when I started dating after getting divorced. I found that it was effectively a non-issue with most women in the US. They all seemed a bit put off by it at first, but it never stopped them from dating me and eventually start talking about marriage if I kept them around long enough.

It was actually more of an issue with women in Colombia. They seemed more concerned about it, but most still got over it pretty quickly.

minina says on Apr 14, 2008, 13:32:

I really don't mind. Of course it also depends on each individual woman. Now I like kids, but rather than play the stepmother role, I would prefer to play that of a friend. To me money is not a big issue. Like I said it all depends in each individual woman. However I bet there are lot of Colombianas willing to give it a try, because men in Colombia are scarce nowadays. That's what my cousin, aunts and friends tell me. El que no esta ocupado, esta dañado.

Lowell says on Apr 14, 2008, 14:31:

After 50 years of playing/working way too hard and wearing my body out, I was faced with the challenge of what do I do now. I'd had a blast and have experienced more thrills/sunset/sunrises/waves/mountains...... than most people. A desk job? A public rest home later? I was divorced twice and had no real family anymore. My pension is small and I wouldn't be able to make ends meet if I led a regular life.

The thought of having a family occured. Why not? I was finally mature enough to handle a family. I tried Panama, but, didn't like the womens attitudes, weather, angry agressive people (huego Vivo)..... Tried Colombia and settled on what I thought was a good one. Wrong. That's her loss and a whole different story.

Now I have a wonderful 2 year old little girl. At first I was all macho and was sad that my wife was having a girl. Man, was I wrong. I actually think I'm happier with her than I would be with a boy. Being retired, I can spend a whole ot of time with her and do. We've bonded real well. That beautiful girl has become my everything.

Now we're in the "que es?, por que?", gotta touch everything, time period. She's also likes to call me by my first name, do my hair, like her mother does hers. I put her in her crib at night with very pleasant loving words, make her first bottle in the morning, help bathe her, make her an egg for breakfast, walk for arepas......., play with her toys in the afternoon and discovery kids at night before bed.

Man, would my buds in the States be surprised at what a daddy I've become. It's all seemed like a natural progression. I'm kind of shocked too.

Only a very rich man in the States could pull off what I've done. Even then, the wife would likely be a gold digger, had my kids and dumped me later and I'd have been alone again.

VIVA COLOMBIA!

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

MitchAlvarez says on Apr 14, 2008, 16:10:

paleo la plata no lo es todo.......pero sin ella se lo lleva el putas de guaca a uno.

entonces mejor no nos engañemos y digamos las cosas como son.

Tengale miedo a una huelga de mujeres o a una escasez de aguardiente. :)

ColombianoGringo says on Apr 14, 2008, 16:55:

De acuerdo. No que todas las mujeres sean interesadas, pero una mujer con opciones no va escoger a un pordiosero sin un quinto en el bolsillo.

MitchAlvarez says on Apr 14, 2008, 17:08:

parce si yo fuera mujer yo tampoco lo haria.

ni por el putas pues

Tengale miedo a una huelga de mujeres o a una escasez de aguardiente. :)

adrimm says on Apr 14, 2008, 17:39:

Do you mean North American women who are childless and single, or Divorcee North American women with their own kids, or both?

1) I think alot more people (men and women) in North America, have seen the sometimes awkward and strained reality of "blended families" and step-parents. It can be complicated.

2) In a traditional settting, where women are generally considered to be the nurturing parent, it's a much bigger committment for a traditional woman to take on a husbands kids and the complications, than say it might be for a guy to accept his wife's kids (she after all will still be the primary care-taker). The older the children the more difficult, unless they are adults.

So say that given what they know and have observed (1) , *many* women in North America view marrying a divorcee with kids as (2) a much bigger commitment, & responsibility, a frighteningly huge commitment.... they aren't there to be friends they are there to be "mom".




So how does it shake out? I think that it goes both ways. Some guys don't want kids runnng arounnd the house, neither do some girls.. but there are plenty who don't mind..

Among my group of friends I know more single women who have married divorcees with kids (one girl is a teacher, another a vet, and another a civil servant, so clearly they were't in it for money), than vice versa... so...