Treatment of women in Colombia

scotty says on Jul 26, 2007, 22:55:

you don't do that stuff in the states, the cops see one tiny little mark on the woman and she tells the cop he did it and that guy goes strat to jail, no questions asked.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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Frank Rizzo says on Jul 26, 2007, 23:29:

that's right scotty, but not in colombia. i've seen a guy whack his girl so hard her momma felt it right in the street in front of a bar at 2 am. Chick hit the ground, no-one said or did a thing.

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scotty says on Jul 26, 2007, 23:57:

well i have heard of such stories but never witnessed it myself. I have spoken with colombianas that have told me that their brothers have beat them or abused them. Its a whole different story in the US, you touch a woman here and you spend the night in jail.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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miamimike says on Jul 27, 2007, 00:17:

Miami-Here in Miami This Latin Spouse abuse is rampant! Almost weekly you read of a latina (wife, girlfriend or new boyfriend) who is murdered out of insane jealousy and rage. Spousal Abuse is so widespread in the Latin Barrios(hialeah, kendall, weston, miami beach) in Miami it hardly makes the news. Took a Peruvian lady friend to the Miami Immigrant Advocacy Center(free help for Immigrants in Miami) at 30st&Biscayne Blvd a few months ago and overhearing many conversations in the waiting room, I'll bet half were talking about how they were beat by their Husbands, boyfriends ect. The Lady I took for help was slapped around repeatedly by her Live In Cuban Boyfriend who threatened to report her to immigration. Another lady, a Colombiana, was there because she was hit repeatedly by her New American Husband(latin). All extremely Heart Wretching stories where if only 20% of what she claimed is true, still way too much for any person to tolerate here in the USA.

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 00:37:

When I read this post it made me laugh out loud! I sometimes watch the news on TVE internacional and I have never seen a nation of women beaters as bad as Spain! I am not exaggerating either, and I am not talking about slapping her a bit I am talking about brutal killings and no, not by colombians but by spaniards. Every single day there is a story on a woman being killed and sometimes a son gets in the way to defend his mami they get it too, it's a common story repeated every day on TVE.

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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miamimike says on Jul 27, 2007, 00:46:

LA_mONA--you obviously have never lived in Miami(like 85% latin),,,

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 01:04:

MM - no I haven't, it's just that the poster was saying "here in Spain" that's what made me laugh, that living in Spain he asks about colombians?

In my experience of course there is men who treat women bad in every single country, even in UK the english....but in Spain it is a problem that even the government recognizes, every weekend there are x amount of women dead at the hands of their "husbands".....

And you think that it doesn't happen in EEUU? Or Uk? If a woman here calls the police because her husband hit or threatened her, sure she can count on them to help, the problem is her calling them in the first place, as SOME women (unfortuantely) believe that somehow it is their fault, that they made him do it by making him angry......they do not want him to go to prison because they think that really he is a good person and feels sorry for him...I too have worked as a volunteer with mistreated women and have seen that no matter how hard you try to convinvce them to leave, they won't or they will but won't press charges....

It happens everywhere believe me...the fact that a woman is backed up by the police and has support in EEUU doesn't mean she will take that help, which in turn doesn't mean it isn't happening....

Anyway Ekdog what are you trying to get at? That latin or colombian men all beat their women? I am married to a colombian and never have you seen a more respectable gentleman...

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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scotty says on Jul 27, 2007, 01:06:

The entire latin community if known for abuse of women Colombia, mexico, brazil, wherevere...but nowhere nowhere in the world is the abuse of women as bad as the middle eastern countries. Iraq, Iran countries like that the women have no rights and they will follow what the man says or else!

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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bartolo_colon says on Jul 27, 2007, 01:38:

Not a funny subject at all. But, My ex's mother, a deep country paisa, asked me if i had beat her daughter yet, this in one of our first conversations? I thought this was a weird question, but in retrospect, and after finding out what a hard headed woman my ex is, I guess I kind of get it, every one of her sisters, without exception, got smacked around by there husbands at some point, and the mother, didnt mean any disrespect but was just curious. Her own mother and father had beat her ass growing up, as did her military superiors , and she just wanted to know if I had got in on the action. I never did lay a hand on her, and I never would have, which I think is probably the way most gringos go. But I think out in the campo, its pretty normal to inflict a beating on woman, and not necessarily frowned upon. Ignorant, uneducated camposinos, who immigrate to Spain, must be giving a bad name to the vast majority of Colombian immigrants, who are intelligent folks, and would never dream of beating a woman.

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 01:45:

Pow Pow por favor, this is a subject that is very complex, down to education, family background, culture etc, I hear it all the time "if she stays it's cos she likes it" it's not that easy for a woman to leave her life partner, the father of her children, blah blah blah you know the story, it takes a process of making that person realize that she is not helping herself or him, that she does not deserve it no matter what....

So you agree with me on stereotyping colombian men? Ok thanks. But why are you stereotyping Latin women?
"if latin women are being killed in domestic violence then do they usually initiate the violence now that is a very interesting question" shame on you for that question...Dios Mio que ingnorancia la tuya....do you know that most questions are statements in disguise? What's so interesting about it?

You say you have never met a colombiana that was passive? Hooray!!! I am very happy to hear that...

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 01:49:

You think it's true don't you?

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 01:58:

I find it funny how you describe women as either tough nuts or passive flowers???? You have issues my friend....

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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scotty says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:10:

dont worry La Mona we are going to take up a collection here on PBH and get pow wow some counseling.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:15:

Scotty call me Mona, ok I'll put a tenner in there....I have nothing against Pow Wow I just don't agree with him that's all.....

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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scotty says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:29:

about nothing or just about this subject? I'll call you MONA if you'll call me honey. just kidding!

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:31:

I won't answer that, I don't like fighting unless it's completely necessary!

How about hon? I am always calling my friends hon, babe etc

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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bartolo_colon says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:45:

Mona, I was trying to be delicate with the subject. I would never ever be violent with a woman. The point was that the mother assumed that I allready had, and how was it. There is some bad bad shit that go's down in the campo that does not get talked about.

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:47:

It's a worlwide problem and it's so sad, Pow Wow listen to the words of this song - many women feel like this, it's no joke

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 02:48:

I know Bartolo and I am glad that you would never hit your wife, some people have to learn that there are ways to resolve conflict and issues within a family without violence...

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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bartolo_colon says on Jul 27, 2007, 03:02:

And Pow Wow,, no man I never assumed a thing about this woman "a flower" "Passive" please bro, for she was tough as fuck, But a lot of that was from getting beat by men. And she saw actual combat in the army in, Narino. She had a hard fuckin life, and frankly expected to get beat.... No way me. American, from a decent upbringing, I would never even consider such a thing.

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

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miamimike says on Jul 27, 2007, 03:29:

Herein Miami many times latin women place a Peace Bond on the Jealous Boyfriend or Husband, meaning he cannot come with so many yards of her residence but its never enforced.So much for that law and aside from that, unless the woman packs Heat, there isn't much else she can do.

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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Cerealkiller says on Jul 27, 2007, 03:48:

I dont think domestic volence is a "Colombian Trait", most men are very respectful and gentle to women. The fact that you see it happening in Spain all the time does not mean all Colombians are like that. Spend some time in a trailer park in the US or a Council Estate anywhere in the UK and chances are the levels of domestic violence are not going to be any lower. That said domestic violence is rampant amongst uneducated people from dysfunctional backgrounds, although it is not rare in more affluent classes, they just seem to conceal it better.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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LaMovidCh(u)eca says on Jul 27, 2007, 04:42:

I agree with La Mona (todo bien Mona?), while in Spain there where almost daily reports of women beaten or killed by their partners and ex partners, but it mostly (if not always) it involved Spanish people, not immigrants. Certainly never colombians.

"That said domestic violence is rampant amongst uneducated people from dysfunctional backgrounds, although it is not rare in more affluent classes, they just seem to conceal it better."

I agree completely, I do think our domestic violence statistics must be pretty bad, specially in poor rural areas.

Sometimes rich people don't conceal it that well. There was a famous, or rather infamous, case about a year ago of a high class woman beat by her husband on a club's parking lot in Barranquilla (http://www.elcolombiano.com.co/BancoConocimiento/E/el_silencio_es_comp...)


[La] Policía de El Prado, [...] al ver a Lizzette golpeada se limitaron a decir: "se le fue la mano al marido, vuelva a las nueve que ahora está dormido el encargado".

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LaMovidCh(u)eca says on Jul 27, 2007, 04:44:

A horrible thing. I like to think that us average colombians would never do this.

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 04:50:

LMC - biennnn, y tu q?

oh but wait, according to some there must be a good explanation...she must have done something to deserve it? Maybe he had to put her in her place...

Esa pobre mujer, lo que mas le dolera es su corazon, su tristeza y su humillacion...

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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bickerss says on Jul 27, 2007, 05:02:

Leaving Salto del Angel one night we came upon a crowd watching a man beat a well dressed woman, and then proceed to drag her by her hair. No one was assiting her. we went to go over; he let her go (nothing to do with us) and walked off, she got up and followed him round the corner. the bizzare thing was that not one person went to help - I cant imagine a woman being beaten in the street (esp in a good area) with no one going to assist in the USA , Aust, Uk etc.

Noticed the same thing in Brazil - no one will assist anyone if they are in trouble. For brazil it was explained to me that as they often carry weapons etc in the robbery, they would be at far more risk etc.

Different cultures for sure in this respect.

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timeforachangeofscenery says on Jul 27, 2007, 05:56:

I don't know about the rest of the developed world but here in Australia, it's just not worth getting involved.

Apart from the obvious risk of being physically assaulted or killed by the husband, you also run the risk of an assault charge if you so much as touch his hand. The Good Samaritan law won't protect you from a civil suit should an assault conviction be recorded. There is a thin line between restraining an offender with reasonable force and using excessive force.

Before someone here doess a John Wayne and jump into the fray to protect someone being assaulted, they now have to consider the character of the person they're "protecting", how well they can defend themselves against a criminal assault charge given that there probably won't be any corroborating testimony coming from her, how well protected are their personal assets and how much would they miss out on if they were dead.

Plus there's the niggling thought in the back of your mind that the person being assaulted will be in bed with the guy beating her as soon as the alcohol or drugs wear off.

So ummmmm sorry.....but I wouldn't have gotten involved either. I just have too much to lose now. I think I'd prefer to passively assist by setting a good example and not beating my wife :)

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droble77 says on Jul 27, 2007, 08:02:

As mentioned by other members, it is sadly far too common in Colombia, to the extent that it may not even be considered such a big deal by some.

It's a problem especially in the lower estratas since many poor couples don't know how to have an argument. The woman probably starts by verbally harassing, nagging, berating, and humiliating her man. Of course, the guy with his latino "macho pride" can't handle that so he answers the only way he knows how: physically. The woman gets used to being slapped around, which only makes her even bitchier and more confrontational when she gets angry or frustrated.

Mind you, I'm NOT trying to blame the woman! I'm just explaining the vicious dysfunctional cycle. Also, as pow wow mentions, many of these women have psychological issues regarding the men they associate/mate with, so they keep repeating these self-destructive patterns. . . that they probably learned from their parents as many of these women were also abused/molested when they were children. You try to treat these women nice, and they can't handle it, they end up going back to their old ways. It's tragic, all too common, and very tough to treat. Usually, it takes an experienced therapist with expertise in this area to help give these women a chance to change their behavior.

Although I have little tolerance for a woman's BS, I would never respond physically, just point out where I think she's unreliable or off-base, not that they'll understand! ;) And when I do lay hands on a woman, it's usually because I'm about to give her a full-body sensual massage. :-))

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LA_MONA says on Jul 27, 2007, 08:56:

"Usually, it takes an experienced therapist with expertise in this area to help give these women a chance to change their behavior." True....

Para volar, es preciso tener resistencia. -M.Lin

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