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things Colombia has to teach us

things Colombia has to teach us
John Taylor

1. Chicas Aguila
I don’t know at what point beer companies in Britain decided beer advertising would be more effective if they DIDN’T use models in tiny bikinis frolicking on beaches to promote their products, but they shouldn’t have. To see where Carling, John Smiths etc went wrong visit http://www.aguila.com.co/minisite_chicas_2006/

2. Blocks of washing up “liquid�?
Why do we faff about with quickly-used-up squirtable liquid washing up products? So we’ll have to buy more of them of course! A block weighing in at anything up to a kilo by comparison does just as good a job and lasts for months. These Colombians aren’t mugs.

3. Ciclovia
Bogota is an enormous, congested, dirty, sprawling capital city. The third largest in South America. There’s no such thing as cycle lanes, and even if there were they’d still be full of mad drunken bus drivers. Yet every Sunday and public holiday many of the city’s most important roads are closed for cyclists, joggers, rollerbladers, dog walkers and families out for a stroll. And not a motor in sight. Sheffield take note.

4. Public Holidays
A puente, or a “bridge�? is the name given to a three day weekend, i.e. a bank holiday and Colombia has loads of them. Apparently the UK has the fewest in Europe. Sort it.

5. Rampant religious idolatory
Okay, so it may be a Catholic country, and they might actually be worshipping the entity behind the statue, bracelet, necklace, trinket, cigarette lighter, plate, bowl, spoon, hairband, ring, condom (alright that last one may not actually be on sale) etc. on sale in countless little shops, but still coming from a Britain where supposedly every aspect of life has been made into a commodity, why haven’t the Brits exploited the chance to make a mint flogging Virgin Mary dishcloths and Jesus Christ action figures. They could start a chain of stores for the high street, called “Allah’s Secret�? (specializing in Quranic themed lingerie) or Ann Buddha’s (sex toys that also guarantee enlightenment and even simultaneous enlightenment between partners). The C of E could also introduce a Tesco style store card which accrues points for churchgoers every Sunday that they attend which they could then use to get money off said tat.

6. Meaningful public statements
Again, likely to be of a religious nature but still even the most cold hearted atheist couldn’t deny a little more colour is added to life when one walks down the street one morning and finds every other person with ash on their foreheads (on Ash Wednesday). Similarly,who knows how many suicidal people have been saved when going to add sugar to their coffee they find that the sachet expresses various religious thoughts such as that Jesus loves them. Obviously transplanted into “multicultural�? Britain this would be completely unacceptable, all religions being equal. So it would have to read (in no particular order) Jesus, Buddah, Muhammad, Brahma, Guru Nanak, Zoroastra, Lao Tzu, and the Sony Playstation (surely the God of Scientology?) all love you. Actually with that group coming after you, maybe you would want to top yourself. But people do seem to stand up for their beliefs here. When the tube was bombed in London last year the left-wing papers were full of “we’ve brought it upon ourselves�? type guff. A similar, though less destructive, bomb went off on a bus here the other week. For the next week and a half every bus flew flags and on the route display shouted “No surrender to terrorism�?. Made it bloody hard to see where the bus was going though.

7. Fruit Salads
I often read that the UK possesses Europe largest potential reserves of hydroelectric power. But in comparison with much less well-endowed nations (probably Scandinavian let’s face it), we don’t make use of them. Colombia’s geography and climate means that it produces, all year round, an array of fruits and vegetables staggering in it’s diversity and low cost. But the locals just don’t eat it. A typical meal consists in 3 or 4 kinds of carbohydrate – rice, beans, potato, yucca etc. (on the same plate) and a “salad�? which, if there existed a trade descriptions act here, would have undoubtedly been rebranded (more accurately) as “garnish�? long ago. But every kitchen as a blender. And why? To make fruit juice. All kinds of various juices, drinks, smoothies and milkshakes are made from fruit here. So if it’s been liquidised, down the hatch. The other great use is the fruit salad. Comes in two sizes, large and enormous. Contains more kinds of fruit than you can count and served drenched in grated coconut. And cheese.

A 'busetas'
8. Decorated buses
Public transport in Colombia is a public/private affair. For every public government owned bus there are HUNDREDs of busetas, little private buses. Which drive around all day and will pick you up from and drop you wherever you want. The best thing about them is without doubt the freedom to decorate his bus that each driver enjoys. So whether it’s decking out the ceiling in cushioned lining (meaning that the roof is actually more comfortable than the seats) or decorating the “cockpit�? with pennants of Deportivo Pereira Football Club, shrines to the Virgin Mary, the Union Jack (!), cartoon characters or the names of his wife/girlfriend/daughters engraved into the windows – each trip is slightly different.

9. Forward thinking
Whether it’s selling milk and yogurt in bags (saves space!), the aforementioned sharing of public spaces with people not driving cars, proportional representation in elections (it’s real democracy stupid!), fixed terms for elected politicians (lets see them actually put there ideas into practise and see who works and what doesn’t), a nationwide glass bottle recycling scheme for all beer and soft drinks or maintaining a high profile for beauty queens. Colombia demonstrates it’s streets ahead of the arrogant, set in their ways, Western European nations.

By gringolondinense on Nov 23, 2006, 07:08 in Friendly Talkzone.

kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 23, 2006, 08:48:

HEHE I agree with you GL. UK need to learn a lot from Colombia
you know what did i learn in Colombia that if you mix bleach with washing powder you get an excellent Kitchen and bathroom cleaner, you will avoid spending all that money in Mr Muscle, and expensive cleaning products that don't work very well, just try it ;). there... a tip for everyone...

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Panda says on Nov 23, 2006, 09:01:

Clowns Another great idea would be to have clowns outside the restaurants in London's west end advertising the menu. Also it would be great if Bus drivers let 2 school kids on the bus for half the fare as long as they get on through the rear doors. I wonder how people would react also if someone just starts washing their windscreens when they stop at the trafic lights down kensington high street. And wouldn't be great to be able to haggle in a san andresito in regents street with chavy sale attendants telling you how hot you look in those classy 5 colour nike trainers?

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Panda says on Nov 23, 2006, 09:28:

among other things... if you just go to the palacio shopping center and all others around the area in Medellin you should be able to get all brands of trainers and clothing. and while you are out there check out 3 playstation games in el diamante for 5000 pesos(£1.20)

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gringolondinense says on Nov 23, 2006, 09:45:

hahah! well there used to be many squeegee people in london in the 90s! especially the innercity main roads. Those foquers are a pain in the ass!! dont see any around any more. Maybe they have moved on to the "trap girls in lifts" type jobs lol!!!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 23, 2006, 10:18:

would be nice if we have recicladores instead of calling the council and paying £20 to take away just 6 items. imaging calling one of those zorreros and give them £5 pound to take all that rubish you can't get rid off.

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lozza says on Nov 23, 2006, 10:22:

A couple of things i'd like to import from Colombia to UK:

1. Domicilio from newsagents / off licence's (on that cold, rainy January night why take an annoying trip to the shops when you can pick up the phone and get the beers brought round!!)

2. More and cheaper taxis (it's hell trying to get a cab in london, then you gotta take out a mortgage to pay for it. Though I would like to export the knowledge of London cabbies to the taxi drivers in medellin who never have a clue where they are).

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lozza says on Nov 23, 2006, 10:30:

3. Being able to go to a bar and buy A BOTTLE of liquor at a reasonable price to share between friends.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 23, 2006, 10:34:

another thing you can buy many Drugs without prescription, everything can be delivery to your house including medicines, in Villavo we call the little corner supermarket and they take the shopping and delivery to us. the little carrito selling Pizzas half of the price and bigger than the pizzerias

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utopiacowboy says on Nov 23, 2006, 13:31:

Good post, gringolondinese.
Good post, gringolondinese.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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tomass says on Nov 23, 2006, 14:17:

being able to walk around the supermarket and actually enjoy it - careful trolley drivers, no screaming kids, v few long tired faces, lovely lovelies, ready smiles, family closeness on display and seldom loud.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Nov 23, 2006, 14:24:

Panda, be careful because those PS games for 5000 are not original, you need to chip your PS so you can play them, but still better than to paid 130.00 cop for a game

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sandramoreno80 says on Nov 23, 2006, 16:26:

Things I would like to see here in UK:

1/Cheap taxis and being able to flag them on the streets
2/"Sastres" that will bring hems up, change zippers etc. We just spent £20 to have a broken zipper changed on my sister's coat here.
3/Handmade made to measure picture/certificate frames cost alot here, always get them done in Armenia
4/Pay as you go gyms- Pay by month used, not getting tied to a 12 month contract like you have to with LA Fitness, Fitness First or Holmes Place

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morphus says on Nov 23, 2006, 17:12:

Colombia needs to be taught some things too. Heres a couple off the top of my head: I would start with teaching them how to drive and respecting pedestrians. Pedestrians have the same status as a rodent in Colombia.
Sidewalks are bad too. They are not always level and some houses mix slippery slate in with the cement. When it rains you have to be careful walking over driveways.

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Robert Jorge says on Nov 23, 2006, 21:21:

I know what you mean Morphus. So many homes in Colombia have custom tile between the front of the house and the street ... the sidewalk. But the freaking tile is as slick as cat shit on linoleum when it rains. It looks nice, and it is nice that people take pride in their homes, but I have slipped more than once on that slick tile when walking down the sidewalk.
I think North Americans could learn from Colombians how to control road rage. You honk at somebody in Miami, you literally are putting your well-being at risk. In Colombia, hardly anything upsets people when driving. Honking, getting cut off, even bumped ... no problem in Colombia. It is just business as usual.

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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famsearch says on Nov 24, 2006, 00:05:

being a former cat owner... ...and having experienced said wet tiles first hand, that the above description is not completely accurate... lol
dan

dan

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morphus says on Nov 24, 2006, 12:10:

No road rage in Colombia? Nobody cares about the beeping but taxi drivers will shoot you if you crash into their car.

Rubito, its not really the speed thats the problem. Lights and stop signs are totally ignored. All I know is if I ever get hit by a car in Colombia, they better hit me good because theres going to be a beat down.

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poco says on Nov 24, 2006, 18:46:

Colombia sets the fashion tone In Cellphone Holders

Plus you can live like a KING on $1000.00 USD per month !!!!

WoW,, my newly acquired stove cost a KINGS RANSOM !!!!

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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gringoincolombia says on Nov 24, 2006, 19:27:

Cicloruta A reply to the original post. No bike lanes? Bogota has the best bike lanes I've ever used! I think you can add the cicloruta to your list of things that can be learned from Bogota. I ride my bike to work twice a week (90 minutes) and I use the cicloruta the whole way.

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goin_south says on Nov 24, 2006, 22:23:

Pedestrians' right-of-way? "I would start with teaching them....respecting pedestrians. Pedestrians have the same status as a rodent in Colombia."

I grew up mostly in California, where PEDESTRIANS DEFINITELY have the right-of-way. It is a courteous way of living, but when you think about it, that is a little like telling a guy with a gun that he can't use it when you don't have one. I mean, basicly in life, you do have to be defensive minded, with certain survival concepts. Just like 'defensive driving'.

If you got a car and I am on foot,...? If you got a gun, and I've got karate,...? (I think I'm yielding, dude.)

It seems to be the attitude that Colombians must have, in regards to so many issues in life and their survival. I don't think they would run over their own brother, but a stranger...? Guess you'd better yield, dude.

Ciao! Gustav. Bienvenitos, Ike.

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poco says on Nov 25, 2006, 18:39:

Colombians know woodworking I saw these cars for sale at a local fabrication shop. Gave me the idea for one of my projects.

One of the cars had a working trunk

I purchased one and it sits on a small ivory inlaid table next to my kings throne. Usually I keep my scepter where the car sits but most of my subjects are well behaved and I don’t use it much anymore.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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gringoincolombia says on Dec 8, 2006, 19:15:

I ride to work... I ride from my apt. in Rosales to work, which is a school on Cll 202 near the autopista. At the end of the route is a little mountain that I like to ride up just for exercise--and to prevent myself from falling into the kind of shape that would justify the fat gringo stereotype. But, man, there are crazy people biking up that mountain. Once, a guy in stretchy bike clothes (not my taste) rode by me and said, "Amigo, hagame un favor. Su silla esta muy alta. Bajala un poquito." And another guy rode by me and told me that I should not be moving anything but my legs. And there is a woman who rides up and down that mountian over and over again and yells at everybody going the other way, telling them they're not far enough to the right. But my favorite thing about that biker-crowded mountain, and the most typically Colombian, is the road sign that says no bikes are allowed.

Of course, I guess you probably don't want to ride to my school or up our puny little mountain. You probably want something more scenic. You do have to be careful--you don't want to ride just anywhere alone.

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poco says on Dec 8, 2006, 19:23:

The Colombians sure know how to work the wood Can you believe it ???

One of my projects has VARNISH on it,, WoW,, and not just ANY varnish,, a special secret kind of stuff that only Colombians know how to apply and the very rich can afford to purchase. I got my stuff from some old Pablo Escobar throw aways,,,

Damn that purple wood is nice,, BTW: that is NOT stained,, that is the color,, I think I'll take a piece back to the U.S. and have it framed for my wall.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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famsearch says on Dec 8, 2006, 20:31:

poco that wood is called purpleheart, and can be bought at just about any good woodworking store, such as rockler's, here in the states. it has a unique property, in that where other woods fade in direct sunlight, purpleheart only gets darker.
dan

dan

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poco says on Dec 9, 2006, 19:39:

I wondered if someone would know the name In Colombia they call the wood Nazareno. It is native to South America. Notice to ALL TREE HUGGERS,, they are wiping out the species,, yep,, people like me are ruining the entire country. 20 years from now all that will remain will be some purple tooth picks and the thing I'm having made.

Noticed it seemed to change color. The raw wood had a brownish tint when purchased. It seems to have become a more vibrant purple.

I purchased the raw material in Tulua. This vendor is recommended he has the drying facility and experience required to produce a quality product.

This vendor also produces natural hardwood floors,, remember the 1950's / 60's hardwood floors ??? tounge and goove ?

Imagine a PURPLE hardwood floor,, I think it would cost about 150,000 pesos per square metro. Not really practical in Colombia,, the roof leaks would need to be fixed and I HAVE YET to see a roof that does NOT LEAK.

I bet PERGO can produce a FAKE purple wood floor for less money.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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