The great absentees

kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 7, 2005, 14:35:

Excuse me Desi I married a British.;)

Mrs Elmo, now that would be very interesting

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 7, 2005, 14:42:

In my case, she's an inflatable doll. What's that, mi vida? "Squeak, squeak!"

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 7, 2005, 14:44:

yes kat, I thought about you too...and believe me, you're just about the only one in that category here. When I think "gringo" I mean mainly USA or Canada gringo; besides you theres also one Colombian woman married to a Dane that contributes.

Just think, kat, what kind of stories would Mrs. Elmo and Mrs Cowboy, even the "Commandante" (sp) come up with...

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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utopiacowboy says on Oct 7, 2005, 14:49:

I'll try to get her to post something on the Spanish section.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 7, 2005, 14:52:

that'd be great cowboy. She can post here too, there's plenty of posts in Spanish even here.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 7, 2005, 14:54:

and where is Mrs Kernow, she must be lovely

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 7, 2005, 15:04:

yes, I'm sure she'd have a lot to say...from all we've heard from kernow she could be a great asset to this forum.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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kernow62 says on Oct 7, 2005, 16:19:

Like Mrs. UTC she finds the whole Internet forum business a waste of time. Right now she is painting the living room wall whilst I am wasting time on the forum. ja ja

She is a very busy woman. So many shops so little time for the Internet.

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kernow62 says on Oct 7, 2005, 16:35:

A Colombiana that wouldn't talk back, now that is novel, and highly un-natural.

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Miguel says on Oct 7, 2005, 17:38:

Let me tell you IF "Mrs. Elmo" ever came to this joint and read his posts, her first post would most likely something along the lines of "elmodofoque se fue, vestió en una corbata colombiano"

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Rubiazo says on Oct 7, 2005, 17:45:

My gf is on the same tip as UC's wife. She thinks the site is totally useless. Maybe I should tell her to sign up and start posting because it would help her English!

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caslug says on Oct 7, 2005, 18:38:

How many of us are on a site about.. USA, Sweden, UK, etc.,(our home country), not many, because since we grew up in our home country we really dont post anything about it in a forum dedicated to our home country. Well that's what PBH(a site about COL) is for COL(especially one that dont speak english). Why would they spend their time talking to strangers about COL, when they lived there and know pretty much all the issue we talk about. I'm sure they talk about those issue with their friends/family/spouse, but why talk about it(any get into debate) to strangers?

Most of us on this site(especially non-col) find this site useful because a) we learn a bit on COL culture, b) we get a chance to express our POV as a NON-COL visiting or living in COL, or C) those of us who are in relationship w/ COL sometimes ask strangers on the internet about their situation.

But it would interesting to say the least if spouse of poster also post. It would even be FUNNIER if the spouse didnt know each other's log-in name, never know they might get into a heat discussion on topics without knowing who they were arguing with! LOL! Beside, I dont think the male COL married or in relationship w/ female posters on the board is going to tell it like it is. Especially topics like sex, dating, & prostitution(social economic), ELMO is probably the ONLY COL poster that ADMITS to going to hookers or that he played around(with donkey no less).

Do you think the spouse will protect each other in some of these heated discussion? Dont call my wife so-and-so, dont call my husband so-and-so, etc., it would be funny to watch when the stuff start flying! LOL!

So Desi, when will your husband start posting?

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Gator says on Oct 7, 2005, 19:07:

Ali's Queston... ¿Porque? Al principio el no me gustaba, pero al parecer, tiene dinero.

"Credidi pretio parvo emere et magno vendere tibi in animo fuisse!" .

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kernow62 says on Oct 7, 2005, 20:59:

caslug that reminds me of the guy on the eBay ad that buys a lamp because they only have the one and he needed a match. Trouble was he bought his own lamp from his wife who was glad to sell it because they only had the one, not a pair. ja ja

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2005, 02:09:

How can somebody think that Internet is useless, maybe they don't know it very well. God is so much information you can get on this, i just can't imaging live without Internet, i can know what happen in my country in seconds,find Colombian shops on line, talk to my friend and family in msn and see them on web cam wow!!. now about posting being useless depending what you going to talk about, and how you are going to take the board. I find PBH very useful, as i said before I know information about Colombia I didn't know before, places. Shops, I was looking at Littos picture of the sierra Nevada and show to my son and he said that next year he wants to go there!! It's nice to see picture from people that you can ask question and are tourist if you know what I mean. Other thing it's a great tool for learning you English writing you try to make the effort to check more your spelling ok sometimes I get it wrong :( and to keep practicing your English I think those girls that can't talk very well or understand should come and have a try.

My husband had seen Pbh twice, sometimes I comment on something somebody said , something funny and he just laugh, I never comment on relationships or all those silly post about Colombian men and women, I showed him some Pict of Colombia and kernow's radio station post and he think it's great, He doesn't post because he is an extremely busy man and he is never in the office,always away, and he said many people here know more about Colombia than him, he doesn't like to give advice in relationships or similar he is not very good at that, He doesn't know much about what is going in Colombia really, only what I tell him. One day I show him an “argument” of kernow and G5, some things were really funny and he though was great, he thinks Elmo is funny too. I try not to show him too much of PBH, I supposed to be working not chatting and when he is in the office I pretend to work jeje, advantage of your husband being your boss. But he doesn't mind me going on line at home and meet friends or just lurking around the internet He think is great I can talk to people just like that in MSN.

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calipro says on Oct 8, 2005, 03:04:

I agree !!!!! "The great absentees in these discussions have been the Colombian women who married a gringo."

I would be great if the colombianas involved with american guys would speak up more but I haven't found to many that are into debating. But it might be an improvement if a couple just came on and gave their opinion from time to time just to give us more material to fight over. hehehe !!!

I tell you what Desi. If you can get your colombian husband to post here once in a while I'll get a couple of young caleñas that like to date older americans to post on the spanish board.

We got a deal???

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2005, 04:33:

gee, kat you must really really really think so:)

I agree with you about the usefulness of the PBH. I've learned a thousand things about Colombia here and keep on learning every day. I think it does have an entertainment value too because I enjoy talking to "strangers" and think these forums often make me realize that I've been wrong or only partially right about some issues.

Sorry, calipro, no deal.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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duncanmack says on Oct 8, 2005, 06:05:

ill marry a colombian! I have to laugh,you think im worrying about marrying a colombian lady?After 9 years with a canadian #itch!,i dont think so!Im going and ill get one,damn the torpedoes.Colombia has some of the nicest,sweetest most loyal women in the world.Id rather go back to Colombia and doge bullets than marry a nroth american woman again.

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duncanmack says on Oct 8, 2005, 06:06:

forgive the spelling guys! Opps bad spelling,oh well.

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quindioman says on Oct 8, 2005, 06:23:

gomezman there's a pretender to your throne

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calipro says on Oct 8, 2005, 06:37:

duncanmack That kind of talk just makes the femme-nazis hunker down and chases the nice women away.

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kernow62 says on Oct 8, 2005, 06:39:

duncanmack get two, oh and get a nanny as well. If one doesn't work out you can part exchange on the other model.

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kernow62 says on Oct 8, 2005, 06:41:

Kat1 she only thinks these forums are a waste of time. She goes online very occasionally to read El Tiempo or Revista Axxis, she E-mails family all the time and we listen to Internet radio all the time it seems.

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Rubiazo says on Oct 8, 2005, 07:36:

And don't forget once she turns 40 in Colombia you can legally trade her in for 2 20 year olds. Not that I would ever do such a thing........ :P

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CaryGrant says on Oct 8, 2005, 09:16:

I think calug got it: why would a gringo's wife post here? What's in it for her? And if she's read a few threads, she'll quickly realise that she'll be accused of being a green card whore if she's brave and foolish enough to post.

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platano says on Oct 8, 2005, 09:26:

A message from Mrs. Platano... ¿"Estas hablando con los colombianos otra vez?"

plátano

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2005, 09:35:

calipro, I started this thread with hopes to get the great absentees (the foreign spouses of the people who post) into these discussions to broaden the spectre with opinions and experiences. Kat1 certainly qualifies and has not been chased away by anybody here. I didn't intend this thread to become a battlefield and a place for namecalling and derisive remarks.

Caslug and CaryGrant: both of you are being a bit judgemental. Why would a Colombian spouse want to participate in these discussions? I can think of many reasons, like willingness to contribute with her/his experiences in the new country of her residence; discuss the problems or get advice from others in the same situation; get information/insight how we who are not Colombian think about her/his country, cities, culture, food, music; travel tips; this list can be made very long.

It's true that many Colombianas prefer other means of communicating like telephone and personal visits and get all the information directly from their families and friends in Colombia. I also read ElPais on-line and El Tiempo on-line every day; also the comments and discussions from people from abroad and mail and call with family friends in Colombia. However, the forums offer a unique interactive communication pattern when the topics you're interested in can be discussed at length, tips for research come in and best of all, they're free.

So, if I were married to a gringo and living in the States I'd just love to be part of a discussion group consisting people who live, visit or have a special interest in my country.

Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2005, 09:36:

hey platano, tell her to sit down and write a message:)
cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2005, 09:47:

Desi what I really thought? I forgot what I wrote jejej.
I have to tell my husband to write something, maybe a post about internet broadband jejej

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Oct 8, 2005, 09:59:

GaryGrant said:"I think calug got it: why would a gringo's wife post here? What's in it for her? And if she's read a few threads, she'll quickly realise that she'll be accused of being a green card whore if she's brave and foolish enough to post". well I am Colombian married to a British. maybe I haven't been accused of Greencard chasher directly maybe European community passport chaser this is good as the American jeje, you need Thick skin Dear, stupids words go from ear to another. like we said in Colombia A palabras necias oidos sordos. Maybe I am brave ;-)

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Rubiazo says on Oct 8, 2005, 16:53:

My gf has a low opinion of internet forums in general.
I however live by them. You just have to take everything with a grain of salt :)
Nonetheless, I'm going to see if i can get her posting on here, even if it is just to improve her English! With that in mind, please try and clean up your English so that I don't have to keep explaining to her that everybody in the US and Canada goes to school on the short bus and doesn't have decent grammar and spelling!!! Keep cursing and insulting each other if you want, but ixnay on the misplaced modifiers and wrong verb tenses, por favor! This has been a public cervix announcement!!

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cam0940 says on Nov 8, 2005, 17:13:

hola desi,yo soy la mujer cam,y soy 100%colombiana nacida en cartagena de indias,entonces dime que es lo que quieres saber de las relaciones entre colombianas y gringos.per mira por favor escribeme en espanol porque apenas estoy aprendiendo hablar ingles.

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calipro says on Nov 8, 2005, 22:19:

Well....Desi..... Don't keep the young lady waiting.

What would you like to know?

Don't worry. Write in spanish and I'll translate it for those that don't understand. hehehe!

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cam0940 says on Nov 8, 2005, 23:12:

Desi, this is Cam writing again. I had her online for you. Guess you took the night off or perhaps lost interest in the original question. I built you up as a great person to chat with, very deep, very intellectual, well-rounded, SOLD her on the idea of getting online, and unfortunately the timing just didn't work out. I'm just hoping she'll try it again another time.

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calipro says on Nov 9, 2005, 01:06:

The question.... Cam0940, you must be an incredibly genuine person to fall for Desi’s ploy. I do not believe Desi is really interested in relationships between gringos and colombianas.

Desi did pose a question once on another board with regard to gringo and colombiana relationships.

She asked “Why would a young girl (colombiana) marry a guy she hardly knows who doesn’t share her language or culture and then move away from her family, friends and everything she knows?”.

I understand that saying that she hardly knows the guy might be a point of contention for some. But I think we can all safely say that it would be next to impossible for her to know the guy as well as someone from her own country which is the point that I think Desi was trying to make.

This is a tuff question that I’m not so sure the average colombiana could answer to the satisfaction of this tuff audience because it would require a high degree of self analysis that most colombianas are not prone to. She would most likely answer by talking about her feelings and we’re not interested in that kind of stuff. We want the bare bone logic that justifies this kind of life changing decision. But anybody that really knows colombianas will tell you that there is no logical process …well…..at least not the way an American might go about it. So I’m going to pose a question that is much simpler.

What would your Colombian girlfriend say about a girl that is interested in finding a husband but would never consider marrying a guy more than ten years older than her. It doesn’t matter how good looking the guy is, how much money he makes or even how much she enjoyed his company. She just would never seriously consider marrying anyone that was ten or more years older than she was.

Would she view this as logical or illogical?

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calipro says on Nov 9, 2005, 01:07:

Ooops double post.... ...sorry!

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adrimm says on Nov 9, 2005, 01:16:

Cam & Calipro If both of you are in the Americas then you do realise that Desi is in a totally different time zone from you. She was probably asleep when Cam's novia wrote her response and is likely at work right now.

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calipro says on Nov 9, 2005, 03:07:

It's 4am here in Phoenix. What time is it in Sweden or Finland or where ever that frozen hell is that Desi lives? hehehe!!!

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Nov 9, 2005, 07:33:

lo siento, cam por la diferencia de horas no he podido contestar el mensaje hasta ahora. Adrimm tiene toda la razón; a la hora que llegó el mensaje ya me había ido al trabajo de nuevo. Tengo una reunión de personal esta noche pero voy a tratar de enviar un mensaje tan pronto llegue a casa de nuevo.

Sorry for the delay in answering cam and his wife's message. I had already gone to work again when the message arrived and now I'll have to rush back because I have a meeting tonight, but I'll post an answer as soon as I get home again.

Por supuesto que me interesa discutir el tema; fuí yo quien inició este hilo porque son pocas de las esposas de los gringos que participan en las charlas (kat y silviat son excepciones). Me interesa sobre todo el aspecto de la adaptación al nuevo país y tambien la parte emocional de estar lejos de sus familias: por supuesto que entiendo que recien casadas su esposo y la vida que han comenzado juntos debe ser de importancia primordial, pero la importancia que para una mujer tiene su familia, su mamá, sus hermanos y hermanas y su ausencia repentina de la vida cotidiana debe tambien dejar su huella.

Saludos,
Desi

En este momento son las 4:45 p.m. en Suecia donde vivo.



Embrace your uniqueness. Time is much too short to be living someone
else's life.

-Kobi Yamada

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Nov 9, 2005, 12:16:

Para la esposa de cam: Te agradezco mucho por el mensaje y de veras no fue por falta de interés por no haberlo contestado ayer mismo, como ya te lo expliqué.

Entiendo que la mujer (tambien el hombre) colombiana está muy apegada a su madre y la separción puede ser causa de muchas nostalgias, especialmente cuando se muda a vivir lejos de su pais y de los suyos. Mi propia experiencia tambien cuenta: viví en Colombia por muchos años teniendo a mis padres y demas familiares en el otro lado del globo. Los añoré mucho; mi primera navidad lejos de mi tierra lo pasé en un mar de lagrimas apesar de tener a mi novio y todo el apoyo que me brindaba su familia. Un recordatorio de esos primeros tiempos mios en Colombia lo encontré en la casa de mi mamá, hace poco: una carta que les había mandado a poco tiempo despues de haberme llegado a Colombia en la cual aseguraba que estaría en casa de nuevo antes de la navidad. No fue así, sin embargo: pasaron 17 anos antes que volviera a pasar las navidades en la casa de mis padres.

Me interesa escuchar (leer) comentarios de las colombianas que se fueron de su tierra (la perspectiva femenina) siguiendo a su marido extranjero para establecer su hogar en un ambiente totalmente desconocido. Cual fue su mayor obstaculo para la adaptación? Fue facil, dificil, penosa, emocionante?

Saludos,
Desi


Embrace your uniqueness. Time is much too short to be living someone
else's life.

-Kobi Yamada

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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elmodefoque says on Nov 9, 2005, 12:34:

I wanted to go to that frozen hell (Sweden) as calipro described it, to chase them Swedish girls, but thanks to Desi I had second thoughts. She learned me as to what I would face as a black modefoque trying to go in clubs over there and I immediately scratched that idea. An image of guys in clear square glasses and swastikas chasing my black ass around in the snow popped into my head, and I got spooked. I don’t run too good on ice.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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Rubiazo says on Nov 9, 2005, 12:56:

That can happen all over Europe My black musician friend was on tour in Zurich and had a few hours free so he went to the Red Light District there. They had a big neon sign advertising "OPEN 24 HRS" and music pumping inside the club but they told him they were "CLOSED". :(

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cam0940 says on Nov 10, 2005, 16:12:

hola desi,soy la mujer de cam,mira desila verad es que yo tengo un mes y unos pocos dias de estar aqui en los EEUU y todavia no me acostumbro,poeque tu sabes que aca todo es totalmente diferente:el sabor de la comida;la cultura,hasta el aire que respiro es diferente,porque en colombia la gente es alegre,extrovertida,sobre todo en cartagena,pero realmente a todas estas cosa termina uno acostumbrandose.loque en realidad esdificil es vivir sin la familia,porque tu sabes que nosotros los colombianos somos muy apegados a nuestras familias,y a mi me hacen mucha falta,yo al principio lloraba todos los dias y ahorita lloro de vez en cuando,es triste y bien duro estar lejos de la familia,pero cundo tienes a tu lado un hombre que te ama, te respeta y valora todo ese esfuerzo que nosotras hacemos para estar con ellos y viajar a un pais diferente alejandose de todo lo que queremos,se hace mas facil el cambio.bueno despues te seguire escribiendo,cuidate mucho, cualquier duda o pregunta que tengas puedes hacerla chao.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on Nov 11, 2005, 09:26:

estas muy nuevecita todavía; con el tiempo las cosas tienden a mejorarse. Entiendo perfectamente la tristeza que debes tener por estar separada de tu familia. Tienes la ventaja de no vivir tan lejos y poder viajar a saludar a tu familia con cierta frecuencia, espero.

Estas estudiando Inglés? Me parece que eso debería ser tu primera preocupación allá en Gringolandia. Con la comunidad latina siendo tan grande es facil dejarse a llevar por el consuelo que le da a uno encontrarse con tantos amigos hispanoparlantes pero te recomiendo muchisimo que te pongas a estudiar Inglés si no lo estas haciendo todavía. Tambien te recomiendo revalidar tus estudios en Colombia y los niveles alcanzados cuanto antes.

Saludos,
Desi

Embrace your uniqueness. Time is much too short to be living someone
else's life.

-Kobi Yamada

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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