The colombian way to keep in shape

ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:10:

unas sugerencias ...
Well, there is the perrito diet. Elmo comes over to "counsel" you, it involves four of something (I forget exactly what ...) and then there is a small something, chiqiquiquitito something...and you sweat a bit, and you can really burn some calories. I think it is called enamoradodelaburra or something like that, anyway - it is all on Elmo's new website:

wwww.amordeburroguajiro.org

.org = they accept "donations"

besitos sra. G - and what happened to your BIG BUTTS post anyway??

Seriously, for suggestions - here is what I do to keep J. Lo on HER diet cos she don't want too much competition and we are like half a centimeter apart on the Big Butt Tiny Waist list that Elmo is in charge of keeping updated for All Men of The World:

1. I NEVER buy for my house any soda, cookies, cakes, anything with sugar. Closest thing is maybe dates and figs. Eat it in a restaurant if you want it, but do not bring while items to your house - you will eat it all!

2. Make sure you have always fresh fruit and vegetables in your house. Eat one green salad every day.

3. Buy a case of bottled water every week. Keep one in your car, one at your desk. Drink all the time.

4. BUNS OF STEEL video workout by Tammy Lee = that gringa got a Colombiana's bubble butt on her and at 40+ she still looks good.

5. 30 minutes of cardio EVERY day. Okay. I cheat because I got good genes and I can. But I shoot (ha ha ha ) for 30 minutes a day - I like the PreCor eliptical trainers, less shock on your joints.

6. Read the Perricone Prescription books about diet and aging/skin. he recommends lot of fish oils as in eat a lot of salmon, but natural from Alaska, not Atlantic and NOT farm raised. Also lots of olive oil.

7. Flax seed oil is good for all women, for anti-aging and for toning.

8. For your jewelery box, drink red raspberry tea (herbal/no caffeine).

9. I avoid all dairy products as they make me bloat, break out my face, give me gas, and make me tired. Only a little bit of cheese here and there..

10. Pilates is fantastic; you must have an instructor tho to start. You MUST have the proper form. After 12 lessons you will know how to do it and you will see the difference in how your clothes fit - very good for us.

11. I also do some yoga and stretching.

12. when you club, drink one bottle of water for every copa -a dehydrated woman can not lose weight.

13. NFAS = No Food After Six O'Clock
This works like a charm. Eat WHATEVER you want before six p.m. and nothing after.


Good luck! - la reina de las BBTW!

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Miguel says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:11:

Que tal, Señora G? Before this thread goes WAY downhill, like when Elmo offers to put you on his "special protein diet" (protein provided by him!), and whatever incredible posts will follow, let me offer a few tips. By no means lose your latina curves. Definitely continue with the 3 veces cada dia con el sexo (quizas mas), perhaps increase the clubbing to 2 times a week, drink a lot of water, eat yogurt daily (it speeds up metabolism for many), eat breakfast daily, and don't eat two hours before going to bed...unless you are really hammered after dancing salsa/vallenato and pounding cuba libres; then I suggest you eat fried yucca till you pass out. Whoops. The thread YA is downhill.

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:12:

PROTEIN! Oh yes, I forgot - drink it all, every time for a week.

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Albatross says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:14:

Become a heroin addict...

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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Lauthra says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:16:

WOW! You sure know how to keep in shape Reina! I try the 'not having sweets in the house', but having a store just across I nip there whenever I get my sugar needs... which is everyday...I HAVE to have something sweet after every big meal... I get away with it cos I'm still relatively young...
I'm also convincing Barry to buy me a treadmill, we just can't be arsed to go to the gym, tried to but failed abysmally!

Nato ;)

Nato (='.'=)

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cremaster says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:20:

Reina, a comment and a question Reina, I have a comment and a question for you.

RE: #6 Grass-fed beef has the same amounts of omega3 (the ´good´ oil) as fish does. I believe most of the beef in Latin America is grass-fed.

RE: #8 Even though I don´t have a ´jewelry box´ (at least I think I don´t), I´m curious about the red raspberry tea. What´s the benefit?

Thanks in advance,
Patrick

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nanis says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:22:

hey guys my auntie just told me about the perucho diet (coma nada y piche mucho!) anyway i don't eat much but i do eat a bit of everything i like my colombian meals and as for the protein diet i'm all for that too! my husband makes sure that i get at least 1 shot of protein everyday and it has helped me with my skin it's so radiant and it has a beautiful glow to it.. i wonder why? might be because it has wanderful nutrients and plenty of collagen

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:27:

Cremaster Hola!

#6 very interesting and shocking since I do a lot of reading on nutrition - I will have to check. it does stand to reason as wheat grass juice is a cure all tonic and so eating good healthy grass..hmn, i will check it out. I do love a good 8 oz. filet with green peppercorn sauce. I only eat good steak though.

8. I think you too can drink it. It usuallt tones the uterus and shrinks it after childbirth and it can loosen it enough before so that all is well. It keeps the tiny muscles supporting the uterus, keeps em toned and the vaginal walls and so on. also keeps irritations away. men can drink it too.

besitos!

p.s. NATO - Thanks. I never lifted a finger before I turned 35, probably much like yourself. But things change and with a little wisdom, discipline and dedication I am hotter now than I was at 30. If only I had started THEN. oh well, AND exercise makes you HORNY!!!

More for Mrs. G - Can you get the following at a health food store: spirulina smoothie w/o sugar added, fresh squeezed ORGANIC carrot juice, wheat grass juice? All this helps keep you young and fit.

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tzion says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:29:

Forget the exercise--most people don't have time for that. I know I don't and I
only work part-time! :D What you should do instead is walk whenever you can.
When I was at University a few years ago I'd walk from Bankside to Aldwych and
back once or more every single day. And I don't mean that sissy kind of stroll
where you gawp at shop windows; I mean real, good, brisk walk. It'll work like
a charm.

Oh, and Tammy Lee is SO hot. *drool*

Michael

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:36:

walking oh yeah, I forgot to say: I walk from home, to the cathedral for mass, then home, then home to the titty bar where I work, then home, then over to Elmo's house for some conversation and getting drunk. Then I walk to the mass, repeat.

Seriously, walking is BIG. I park far from all shops in the parking lots, ty to walk whenever possible, take the stairs as far up as possible before hopping on the elevator ... good advices!

Also, I have heard ... that you can burn a lot of calories and super dooper tone your legs if you are on top and you do all the work, no cheating as in back and forth smooth sailing stuff, you have to pretend to be a pile driver, squat and lift yourself up and down. I am sure you know what I mean. Then turn around the other way. Give as many as he can take. Sometimes you have to give them a break or they can totally lose it. Explain it is for your cardiovascular health. Tell that to his wife. See, it was like, I was giving him CPR....see....

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tzion says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:47:

Oops, that wasn't Tammy Lee I was thinking of. It was Kiana Tam... - or
something like that. :D

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Albatross says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:51:

But Seriously... I too used to have an embarrasing weight problem. For years, I was ashamed of my body. Going out with friends to dinner was a nightmare. But eventually, through sheer dedication and willpower, I was able to stop the vicious cycle. So good luck girl...

P.S. I'm so proud of my new look that I just posted a picture for inspiration.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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YEP says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:55:

Stop ..... I just fell down my chair laughing :D
TIME OUT (T)

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Just another scandinavian getting ready to explore South America

------------------------------------------------------------------- Just another scandinavian getting ready to explore South America

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Atogob says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:58:

Mrs. Gomez...

Protein is good but...I mean animal meat, not the fluidic kind... like turkey breast, chicken breast, beans. Also brown rice veggies are ok. No salsa...
Do not fry or stew anything. Grill it. Complex Carbs only (no empanadas...) Drink LOTS OF water, 6 glasses or more...or mix with Crystal light. Diet soda if you must, but it's loaded with sodium and a bad idea.

And CARDIO, CARDIO, CARDIO.....I'm going on 2 hours a day on elip. trainer or stairmaster. 30-45 minutes a day at least. Sleep 7 hours or more to rebuild muscles. By the WAy... You burn all the fat in the last 5 minutes of cardio so it's critical that you get to the sustaiened 45 minute mark. I have seen folks loose pound after pound at from the change in diet alone I lost quite a bit over a 4-6 month period. This is the same technique body builders use to get into shape. I didn't belive it till I saw it... Amazing stuff.

As for not having the time.... make it. Your husband will thank you for it. Now close your eyes and imagine your amazing figure at the weight you want...with all the unique curves your heritage gives you....

exactly... perfection!

Good luck!

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tzion says on Jan 13, 2005, 10:59:

Albatross: wow, you look so svelte. :))))))) Kol hakavod, dude!

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nanis says on Jan 13, 2005, 11:19:

thank you guys the only thing is that i don't want to loose weight, i have a small waist as it is and if it goes smaller my ass will look a lot bigger and out of proportion i'll look like the freaking girl in the condorito comics (yayita) i haven't look this for a long time i think that i even look better than i was before i got pregnant with my daughter. all i want now is to stay fit but i need exercise for that and going to the gym is sooo boring! i prefer staying at home and having sex with my husband that burns more calories than anything else! i also love dancing i'm into anything these days i love salsa but the reggaetton movements make my ass a lot harder so i better go clubbing more often... tho my husband prefers my ass to have some movement when i walk you know a little wobbly and i think that a hard ass only looks good on men so i better keep on eating empanadas and getting my SEXercises everyday!.

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Atogob says on Jan 13, 2005, 12:54:

Um...

Ok I just saw your pics... I think your exercise plan is a recepie for success...No need for 2 hours cardio a day... Your plan of salsa and sex sounds better somehow...and keep eating the empanads, by all means...LOL!
Gob Bless!

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Outtahere says on Jan 13, 2005, 13:08:

Walk baby...walk I have been in Bogota for a little over two months now. I walk everyday for at least an hour or two (sometimes more). I still eat like a horse....good and bad food. But with the walking...since I have been here, I have lost 4 inches in my waist. I went from a 38 when I got here...to now just a 34! I am sure sex helps with that too! Just keep moving..eat healthy and stay horny! You will lose what you need to!

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cremaster says on Jan 13, 2005, 16:11:

Reina,
it´s called ¨Froggy-style¨!!!

And, it´s just like doing squats at the gym. Practice, practice, practice.

Patrick

PS: And you´re right about taking a break. The position tenses ALL the muscles down there.

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caslug says on Jan 13, 2005, 16:25:

Mrsgomez.. Dont worry about losing weight when you work out, exercise/workout burns the excess fats, and you strenghten/build muscles which has more mass, meaning heavier than fat. So you lose the flab and become toner. Everytime i have a occasion that requires me to get back into a suit, i just normally get on the stationary bike at go for 20-30 mins a day for 4-6 weeks, usually lose abou 1-1 1/2 in from waist. I wish i was displine enough to go 45 mins, i really would be in shape. Cardio is the easiest way to lose that stomach. You're not going to get flat or six pack stomach, but you'll amaze how fast you lose the stomach.

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elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2005, 10:33:

Mrs. G. mi linda mamasita, a waist could never be too small. You want a waist like Isaac? it keeps shaking long after he sits down. From what I see from your pic you don’t need to lose a single gramito, everything is perfect, you’re good to go. What you need is to get the hell outta depressing London and come down to good ol Florida the freaking sunshine state, and especially Miami, just don’t mind all those cubichi habla mierda. The minute you arrive, give me a call. You’re definitely Fountain Blue Hilton resort material, penthouse. So I have to save for a month to pay for that room, but with you it will be all worth it, I’ll even throw in a convertible, and on our way to the Keys, let’s pick up esa caliente Reina para tener un sabroso threesome. Que cres?

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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oldbongo says on Jan 14, 2005, 10:42:

the queenie said.. that she wanted us to come to spain for the party,
but the problem is getting the visa for the burro.
and i already booked the yacht bachanalia in cartagena.
now what are we gonna do?

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elmodefoque says on Jan 14, 2005, 10:47:

how the hell we're gonna have party with out my burro. we'll do spain some other time. en colombia las cosas para arrebatarse son mucho mejor y mucho mas cheap.

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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nanis says on Jan 14, 2005, 10:52:

hey guys ummm it's a bit suspicious i thought it was the burra that costeños liked! now tell me what is it you do with the burros huh? elmo mi costeñito rico read my thread about colombian culture that i posted a few mins ago talks about some of your ancestors!

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oldbongo says on Jan 14, 2005, 11:12:

mrz bunuelo..you're right.. wait a minute, the oldgringo does't mind hanging out with
donkey-schtuppers,..its queer donkey-schtuppers he draws the line at.
outta the closet elmo, or i'm thinking about changing your name to
ELburrochingo...

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isaactraveler says on Jan 14, 2005, 11:33:

they all drink heavily Ms Gomez I have spoken to my future wife and although I never mentioned you at all or the idea about personal training, I am fairly certain that she will let me help you with this issue.

Consider it personal training.

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nanis says on Jan 14, 2005, 11:40:

isaactraveler i have found that my SEXercise plan works the best! i don't need to spend hours in the gym all i do is have at least 3 orgasms a day, go clubbing at least twice a week, dance a lot of salsa and yeah the odd puff of basuco from time to time! nah just kidding! the white stuff works best.. gives me more energy for when practising my SEXercises! man i'm thinking of releasing my own work out video what do you think guys?? this way you lot can try it at home with your ladies!

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oldbongo says on Jan 14, 2005, 11:54:

now ladies.... would mrs.gomez and the queen please communicate all
of your expertise to la commandante?

she seems to feel that the best way to keep
the oldgringo fat and happy,
is to keep him on a strict diet of young chocolate,ariquipe,
and fresa,...

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nanis says on Jan 14, 2005, 11:59:

OG you should tell la commandante that she must give you a good dose of sexercises a day tell her that she needs her daily dose of good protein intake

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ARMacleod says on Jan 14, 2005, 12:01:

Mrs Gomez You need to lose weight like elmo needs a puncture repair outfit.

I love you and I want to have your baby

When I look at you I think that I married a man. (Previous wife)

If reincarnation is a reality, I want to come back as your bra.

I am going to tell my wife that you followed me home and "can I keep her please"?

I will let you know her answer when I have recovered.

Being of unsound mind and dubious disposition, I cannot be held legally liable for any indiscretions. ¡El diablo me hizo lo hago! But don't worry, be happy.

The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum.

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oldbongo says on Jan 14, 2005, 12:09:

ms.bunuelo.. yo cres su chocolate,areqipe,y fresa, tambien
estan sobrossisisisisma.
we're planning the party,..are you coming to
premier your video, or to shoot a new one?

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Saltador says on Jan 14, 2005, 12:46:

Ms Gomez I saw your pictures and must agree that whatever you're doing, it's working like a charm :-)
Please post instructions for receiving your much anticipated workout tape.
P.S. If your husband ever fails to provide the necessary ingredients for your workout plan, I happily volunteer...

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 14, 2005, 14:21:

oka ok calm down hombres! Here is the plan: rehearsal dinner in Spain at the yacht club on the yacht s/s Satyr Dyonisus, shower of blessings on the way to Key West, and the cruise in Colombia on the Bachanalia (nice touch OG!).

Mrs. G. - According to what I have seen on the TV show "Desperate Housewives", the best diet is to do your teen gardner. Also, all the anxiety over maybe getting caught seems to keep you firm as well. I dunno. I try to be no more than 15 years younger than my friends, so 18 years old is a stretch.

Elmo - okay we can all go to key west together, but I'm not sure how I will get along with Mrs. G - chica loca is WILD. I am more like the girl you bring home to mom, the ,mild mannered librarian, the girl in the long sundress, with not too much hint of anything else. Until ... and then it is all over. no advertising. Also I prefer my girls blond, like you. I guess I can suffer through the BBTW comeptition of Mrs. G tho.

Senora G -You know I am just kidding cos it makes the men salivate and when they lose 5 pounds of saliva in one reading that's keeping them in their WeightWatchers program. Beats remote control biceps press.

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Jan 14, 2005, 14:23:

p.s. Mrs. G ---- lay off the weed
and the basuco
they will age you beyond your years
and they will age your trasero as well
from what I can see
I never did either
BE CAREFUL! Like a gigolo, they make you feel good now, but boy do you pay later.

besitos!

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oldbongo says on Jan 14, 2005, 14:33:

no,no no,... never stop celebrating your blessings
with the sacremental herb, it enhances your
ability to reveal yourself...
however, basuco,the killer,...renunciate..
leg-opener,...from time to time...

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