Soiled pants in Barranquilla

Rubiazo says on Mar 13, 2006, 11:40:

Just wondering have you drawn the inevitable conclusion between the chicharrones and the soiled pants yet?

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mrgizmo says on Mar 13, 2006, 11:44:

I HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE. except that it happened on the flight from Los Angeles to Bogota via Avianca. The flight was packed as always around Christmas time. Either due to the excitement of going to Colombia, or the long and tedious ordeal of going thru the security checks in L.A. or the late dinner we had before we left for the airport, caused my stomack to build up on gas and I figured, no problem I'll just let one loose and no one will notice the noise with all th commotion going on. Wrong, there was no sound, just the oozing of...you guessed it, Diar...... I jumped out of my seat and quickly went to the luckily empty toilet and I had SHI...... all over my shorts. I had to seat in the toilet, take my shoes off first to be able to pull my pants out, washed the shorts in the sink and threw them in the trash and with toilet paper and water washed the stain off my pants and put them on followed by my shoes. By this time people were banging on my door, and my wife and kid were wondering what the hell had happened to me. So I arrived in bogota with no underwear and some stains on my pants. Lucky you, you got to walk a couple of blocks to the hotel and took a shower. I had to wait like 6 hours sitting in a packed-like-sardines airplane, then go thru inmigration in bogota, get my luggage and hope the green light would go on instead of the red at the Aduana, greet my relatives and the car ride home while I smelled like SH......that was a true story. No wonder Avianca stoppped flying from L.A. to Bogota.

Behind every successful man, there's a nagging woman

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elmodefoque says on Mar 13, 2006, 11:44:

the chicharrones were after the fact, my weak bowl control was from excessive drinking, mostly beer and ron caldas.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Mar 13, 2006, 11:47:

gizmo, damn, i feel bad for you, my sh-t was nothing compared to what you went thru. LOL

I'll get there, when I get there!

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IMorcombe says on Mar 13, 2006, 11:51:

That reminds of... A boy says to his father "Dad "los pedos pesan?", the father says "no, why", the boy replies "ah..entonces me cague"..

Maria Ines

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mrgizmo says on Mar 13, 2006, 12:01:

I LAUGH NOW, but it wasn't funny back then.

Behind every successful man, there's a nagging woman

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elmodefoque says on Mar 13, 2006, 12:25:

Gizmo, exactly! is funny now but it was not so funny then. My entire vacation in Colombia I spent it in fear of having to let out gas in public, it was no longer enjoyable and everytime I did it was released with extreme caution. I always thought that the only good thing about getting old is that I no longer had to give a rat’s ass about how I look or things I do, like farting and picking my nose. I fart with gusto and many times in front of complete stranger, but this is acceptable coming from an AARP member. My next trip I’m bringing a box of depends (adult diapers)

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Lowell says on Mar 13, 2006, 12:26:

Definition of "Surprise" Fart with a lump!

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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Lowell says on Mar 13, 2006, 12:32:

6 month of experience I've now lived here for 6 months. My wife's mothers food has made it very important that my butt's more aware of what may be liquid or what may be gas. I fart so much that I've been thinking of hooking my butt up to the gas pipe for the stove. The first one in the morning is enough to rock the bed. My 43 day old baby even jumps. LOL

Alfred E. Newman. "What. Me Worry?"

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Colombiano_divino says on Mar 13, 2006, 12:51:

i know what yall are talking about ive learned from my previous trips that you always must carry some change and a roll or two of toilet paper.....you never know when your gonna have the rotten urge of a sudden UH OH....then a little hershey squirt spews out....i recall the younger childhood days as kids, if i had the shits that week i stayed in the vecinity of a toilet....hell i even used to go in el monte and wiped my culo with some leaves....but now things have changed ....i almost had a horrible expierence last summer arriving to quilla from a long trip from the guajira....as soon as we pulled into quilla my stomach started to bubble and i knew i was in alot of trouble cuz we still had to go to baranoa ....i felt like a kid who couldnt control my bowels..i was cussing and balling my fists...if it wasnt for my wonderful cousin who has family and friends everywhere i would have shit my pants that night....i told my cousin my problem and we scooted off the bus , he had a sister in law around the area...talk about feeling funny stopping by and bringing a gringo to your doorstep to take a shit...i almost shit myself walking to this place.....i would ask him how much longer how much longer....i had to sit on the ground one time to help it stay in.....but what a bunch of lovely people...we chatted for an hour afterwards with some aguilas and they didnt want me to leave cuz of our exchange of stories ......but yeah if you have the runs in colombia....and your like me and still are gonna have some medellin and aguilas ...STAY CLOSE TO A BAthroom and always pack a couple of rolls of toilet paper and fresh clothes...ha ha

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Rubiazo says on Mar 13, 2006, 14:03:

Charmin makes travel-size rolls of the nice soft comfortable stuff. I almost never leave home without em :) Riding a bicycle really has a way of helping inch things along the old intestines :/

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lostinparadise says on Mar 14, 2006, 04:45:

3 large Beers before flight with no restroom on plane 1 Hour flight from Tampa to Miami with a bladder full. Took the vomit bag and let it gush out wih jacket over my lap. The lady next to me was gazing out the window as i fill up vomit bag.

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elmodefoque says on Mar 14, 2006, 07:35:

hey morphus, my wife told me she used to see your gringo ass working out near parque lleras all the time. You were quite a hit with the cachacas, you lucky modefoque!

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Aji1 says on Mar 14, 2006, 08:10:

Not just a Colombian thing I recently traveled to India on business. Same type of experience except I brought it back home with me to boot. I was burning up with fever along with it and tried to ease one out while lying and suffering in bed, that was a mistake. Thankfully my cachaca wife was very understanding and helped me out. My 4 year old son was terrified and thought daddy must be dying or something, he started crying. The fart with care rule applies anywhere you might eat and end up with some strange funk in your gut. I became the funky chuncky sharting monkey. It sucked.

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elmodefoque says on Mar 15, 2006, 05:46:

I’m gonna share this with you guys, but please don’t spread it around, don’t want the whole world to know this about me. After my unfortunate accident coming outta Olimpica in Barranquilla, I now shove rolled up damped paper towel up my butt, very similar to what women do when they have their menstrual cycle.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Miguel says on Mar 15, 2006, 06:11:

Elmodofoque getting the sh~ts from Olimpica's cafeteria and all of us getting ill at that fine Mon Mondongo restaurant only convinces me to stick with the arepa llena from our favorite 5-star street vendor and lunch at Punto Gordo.

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Christian88 says on Mar 16, 2006, 19:03:

When you get the bubbleguts, you know you're in trouble.

You're in even more trouble once you're "touching cloth" with no bathroom in sight.

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elmodefoque says on Mar 17, 2006, 04:54:

That’s what I don’t understand, I was born in Colombia so why is my stomach such a whimp. I can’t believe that I spent so much time going to the bathroom just to see if that wonderful fart came with a surprise. When I was a kid, I ate sand and walked around with hundreds of 10 inch long parasite (bellie worms) in my stomach. I was a filthy, smelly, disgusting disease ritten little modefoque, is a miracle I did not drop dead like many kids in my village.
Maybe someone up there wanted me to live and grow up in NYC so I could experience two blondes at the same time, my reward for putting me thru that hell.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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