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Social Life in Bogota

I am a Colmbian American 23 year old who is staying in Bogota for 3 months to learn Spanish. I was born here and grew up in the U.S. I have been here for 2 weeks now and every single person I meet asks me the same thing: "do you have a boyfriend" and then when I reply no they ask, "would you like a Colombian boyfriend?" Whats up with this? I mean I LOVE Colombia, but is this all people are interested in? Is it possible to be here and NOT be romantically involved with someone? And its more complicated than that. I am bisexual. I have a girlfriend in the U.S. who Im very happy with and have been with for 8 months, but no one here knows that. I have no intention of being with anyone else, but Im feeling pressure from all sides. I want to be happy while Im here and not have to alter my identity. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

By jmb1 on Sep 22, 2005, 15:07 in Friendly Talkzone.

Hunter says on Sep 22, 2005, 15:33:

JulieM Just tell them you have a partner at home.

Hunter

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adrimm (☼Travelguide writer) says on Sep 22, 2005, 15:42:

Nosy people I agree with Hunter, when they ask just tell them you have someone special back home... oh and let me guess it is aunts, cousins (3rd cousin twice removed), who are all doing the asking? The 20 question -game gets really old, really fast.

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tomtom33 (☼Travelguide writer) says on Sep 22, 2005, 15:59:

Stay in the closet. Bisexual chicas are in high demand. I rather enjoy hunting for a third with a favorita.

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Rubiazo says on Sep 22, 2005, 16:52:

Tell them that you find Rolos ugly and that you prefer the chocoanos. It definitely wont shut them up but they may leave you alone!!!

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jmb1 says on Sep 22, 2005, 17:00:

rubiazo what are rolos and chocoanos? Sorry Im new here.

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utopiacowboy says on Sep 22, 2005, 17:05:

Tell them El Beso Negro and giving up your El Chiquito are among your favorite activities. You'll make a lot of new friends.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Gomezman5 says on Sep 22, 2005, 18:19:

Welcome to Colombia Jmb1

I don't really know what to tell ya. I mean, I guess I don't know where you are or in what context this question is arrising. It's not as though they stop you on the street corner. There has to be something that you are saying that leads people to ask you that question. There are cultural differnces, so you are obviously saying or doing something that causes that question to arrise.

Another thing......like someone said above, stay in the "closet". Yes Colombia has a Gay and Lesbian community, but it's not nearly as public as it is in the states. Plus, you might end up turning some people off and depending on what setting you are in, you never know what could happen. Since you are not "looking" for anyone, when an inquiry comes your way, just tell them your "partner" is back in the states. Although, when most girls say partner, it's just like saying you are lesbian. I don't know any women who are straight that refer to their boyfriends or husbands as "their partners".

Look, you are there to study Spanish, take in the culture, and have a good time. Avoid controversial things of this nature during your stay and I am sure all will go well.

Good Luck

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SirTropical says on Sep 23, 2005, 10:06:

the looks .. maybe the looks I guess JMB1 has to play low profile on this.. wisely.. colombians we are quite inquisitive and find our ways around just to get you where we want to.. lol, maybe you don't have to say that, maybe your looks tell everybody what and how !!

If you're bisexual that's not a new thing, paisa girls are pretty much in that (bi-curious) fashion, so you may be able to find some nice friends to hang around and cover up like "girls night out " !

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jmb1 says on Sep 23, 2005, 11:53:

As far as the reason Ive been getting these questions, Ive literally done nothing to initiate it. Perhaps because Im attractive, perhaps because I look really straight, I dont know. I dont say much, and my appearance doesnt either, so Im not sure why people are so interested in who Im dating, but thanks for the replies!

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