single mothers in COL..

caslug says on Dec 12, 2005, 08:41:

just got confirmation on the 1 millionese for a kid.. i was talking with the security guard at that works for the internet cafe i´m in. I was asking him if it´s true, that security guard gets paid more when they have one kid. He said, yes, it´s a million more a month. NO WONDER there´s so many single moms in COL, because there TONS of security guards knocking these chica up! ja.. ja..

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Colombiche says on Dec 12, 2005, 08:41:

What's the point of this thread? I'm lost.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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Colombiche says on Dec 12, 2005, 08:47:

Caslug, if you are really so concerned about these single mothers, go out and distribute some condoms, go talk to the people responsible for these policies, protest against the measures, set up some seminars (since you seem to be so concerned about Colombia's problems that you keep posting about them night and day).


What is having a laugh about this situation with other gringos on a public forum going to solve? Is it going to change the lives of these girls?

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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caslug says on Dec 12, 2005, 08:48:

colb..the point is.. that COL women are AT THE MERCY of COL MEN when it comes to getting child support for men here. If the the guys are NOT responsible or honest, they DONT pay child support. If the companies PAY the MOTHER DIRECTLY, it would DRASTICALLY improve the lives of the MOTHER AND CHILD! By the giving the money directly to the guy as a increase in his pay, HE can blow it on partying or meeting other women! On average mothers are MORE financially responsible then fathers. Most kids in COL LIVE with their mothers after their parents divorce or breakup. Unfortunately, many men with children are NOT responsibles fathers... The business rules here does NOT help the mother. What´s the point of paying a father more money for a child, when the money DOES NOT GO TO THE CHILD???

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caslug says on Dec 12, 2005, 08:52:

also..i encourage ALL MY AMIGAS.. to practice safe sex AND DONT TRUST guys when they tried to sweet talk my friends into having unprotected sex.. ie, don´t worry babe, if you get pregnant, i´ll be there to help, etc., etc.,

PLUS i DO HELP with gifts, money, and time with gift WITH MY AMIGAS that have kids.. BECAUSE i know they have A VERY DIFFICULT LIFE..

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ds says on Dec 12, 2005, 09:30:

Lots of nonsense in this thread! First of all: Its the men that use condoms, not the women. Anywhere in the world, not only in Colombia.

The cibercafes watchman won't get an extra milion a month for his kids. His salary will be far below this. If he has kids he has to pay up to 60% of his wage to the mother(s) of the kids. This is law, depending on the mother energy in legal attacks it will be enforced.

Without doubt there are lots of single mothers: For them in many cases a kid -especially with a wealthy foreigner- is a good business. The better "business" is having various kids with several fathers. They love kids, and they receive a regular and remarcable income to grow them up. A beautiful way to go. Colombian law takes care of the mothers!

For a foreigner in Colombia its very easy to find a women, but its very hard to get rid of her. If kids are involved its nearly imposible.

Nobody is going to pay you for beeing father! Maintaining kids in Colombia is not very expensive. Maintaining their mothers is. Be warned! Use condoms, Its a good business for YOU.

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Albatross says on Dec 12, 2005, 09:53:

Well put... I wouldn't mind so much if men had more of a say in their chidren's future. But the fact is that the law allows women to do whatever they want and guys have to pay for it.

Until fathers have an equal right to custody of their children, they should not be forced to pay.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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ElPadrino1 says on Dec 12, 2005, 10:03:

In visits over 15 years to Colombia.. I have never heard of ANY woman collecting any type of maintenece, child support ect from the father. I am well aware it(law) exists but in real life it is not enforced to any degree.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 12, 2005, 10:12:

those mothers should do exactly what my mother did, leave the damn kids (me and siblings) and take off with a bus driver.it was the best thing that happend to us cuz my father had to make quick mucho money but we then had to get the hell outta colombia. Now my father re-married and i'm able to help my poor ass mother, everbody is happy! happy ending.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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cali373 says on Dec 12, 2005, 10:21:

The single mother phenomenon is more prevalent among the lower-end of the socio-economic scale, IN any country (Even the U.S.). Among my aquaintances, I know more single or divorced moms than I do married ones. The way I see it the irresponsible party is both men and woman. I do not understand the hard part, if you are not planning in having children, then use protection. All fathers should take care of their part, but woman should also keep in mind that if they are not protecting themselves, they are partly responsible in the unwanted pregnancy.

The Colombian law may protect mothers if this LAW is really in the books, it is definately under-enforced. But in any case using any effective birth control is good business for men and woman.

Smile if you are a thinker!

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ds says on Dec 12, 2005, 10:25:

I might present you some, ... especially the mother of my son.

I don't sell condoms and and I don't hate women. Neither I believe in colombian law. I don't mind to support the mother of my son as there is no way to get custody. But: Right know I am organizing my receipts of this years aliments: Food, school, rent, clothes and lots of cash. Much more than a watchmans salary! You won't believe who is asking for this: The DAS. The Lady reported me as nopay, offering me to pay a second time full years amount, mentioning that she needs to buy a house. Blackmailing is popular sports in Colombia and they can present an excelent ladies team. I can't leave the country, before I proove the payment. I am not talking of "Sombody told me", I just interrupted the paperwork on my desk to comment this thread!

Whenever you lay a single mother she won't be so stupid to tell you that the dad pays the school and apartment. She will ask you for help in a desperate situation, $$$. As money is a better glew than love and love makes blind : This works.

Use condoms or stay at home.

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calipro says on Dec 12, 2005, 10:47:

News to me... I have never heard of guys getting a million more a month in salary because they have a child and I sure never heard of a single mother collecting court ordered child support.

I have to say that I have been surprised at the number of times that I had to take the initiative when it came to birth control. It does seem like colombianas are much less concerned with getting pregnant than the average americana. This might help explain the why Colombia is listed as having one of the highest fertility rates in world.

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cali373 says on Dec 12, 2005, 11:07:

Only education will curb this issue in Colombia or anywhere. For example in the U.S. teenage pregnancy increased up until the 90's. If you lived the the U.S. you would have noticed that education about safe sex increased in mainstream america during the early 90's (maybe even late 80's). I don't think it's a factor but I like to remind people that so-called conservatives were in power during most of the 70's and 80's. We would not have safe sex education if the so-called conservatives and religious fundamentalists had there way. I think abstinence should be taught in safe sex (and it is) but should not be the only option because the majority of the world does not practise it, not even conservatives. It seems that in Catholic dominated countries (like Colombia), abstinence is the only sex educuation that is prevalent. Just another example that Religion and Government should be separate.

Smile if you are a thinker!

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Lucia Rojas says on Dec 12, 2005, 11:19:

1 out of every 5 teenagers get pregnant in Colombia now adays. It is a Public health problem. Our very catholic president, whern told by the ministro de salud about the data, only said: " Que se abstengan" the jerk!

It is the moment, for education campaigns with parents and teeenagers, and condoms and anticonceptivos. Aids and STD's are also increasing. Men in Colombia dont like to wear a condom. I have some very " intelligent educated" friends who say they'd rather not, or that its too tight, or too uncomfortable... They hate wearing condoms and they never take the initiative to put it on. They have to be reminded.

Now this is a very catholic, double faced culture, so sex and condoms and anything related to sex is taboo in many parts of the country and in many families. The lower the eductaion level, the less it is talked about and the more it is done. Another thing is Men culturally don't think they are committing acrime if they are sleeping with a minor. In the countryside you find mothers and wives who are 15, 16 etc.

Our dear president wont invest on sex education and culturally we are still doing things like 100 years ago. So what can you expect??

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 12, 2005, 12:58:

Security guards Your average portero or "security guard" in Colombia makes about $500,000 per month, so NO WAY is the guy getting an extra million per month just for having a kid.

However, I'll pay any security guard a cool million if he can tell me where to get that male birth control shot.

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esmeralda says on Dec 12, 2005, 14:07:

Almost too personal.... I was just visiting my family in Colombia, we went to my sister fifteen's party, and two months later we found out that she was pregnant....that was it! all the years of education, all the taking care of her was gone. She knew about all that stuff of taking care of herself and having a safe sex life, but again....she as many other women did the same mistake, now her life has change and is more complicated. I don't think is education, I think is everyone choice,it is also the enviroment and the life style of many teenagers, and how the comunication media does influence on having sex, it is everywhere: in the music, the way they wear their clothes, and their freedom for everything!

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 12, 2005, 14:15:

Having sex? I think any strategy that hinges on convincing people to not have sex is pretty much doomed. For literally millions of years, people have been starting to have sex soon after puberty. Telling someone to wait 4, 6, even 8 years after becoming sexually mature to become sexually active just seems naive.

I know a number of young latinas in the US who got pregnant while young and single. In all their cases the pregnancy was hardly accidental. They knew how you get pregnant, how to prevent it, and they didn't follow those precautions. In a culture that prizes motherhood so much and doesn't give young women a huge amount of support or other options, it's not surprising to me that a lot of young women want to become moms. After all, most of their mothers did, and grandmothers...

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caslug says on Dec 12, 2005, 15:22:

security guard pay.. SOME security companies do pay extra, i´m not saying ALL of them do. BUT some business here DO pay extra when you have a child, just like in Japan(but in japan you have to be married). The amount can be debated, the guard i talked to he works for a company called andino or something here in MED. These guys where bullet proof vest and everything, he said his company pays 1 million extra. He also said, his base pay is 800k(w/o kids). But these guys are not the typical security guard riding his bike and only has a pistol or baton.

The point is of this thread is that the WOMEN generally DO NOT SEE THE MONEY. Which is where it was intended too. Maybe some places pay up to 1 mil, other pays a lot less. There IS a law on the books to ENFORCE the pay, HOWEVER it is rarely enforced. The easiest thing would pay the women directly, whenever the men applies for the extra money. And i dont think a guy can just collect money kid after kid.

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calipro says on Dec 12, 2005, 15:32:

caslug I have seen the andino security guards here in Cali also. They wear a tan jump suit with a blue bullet proof vest and carry either a shot gun or machine gun.

I think Hollwood was refering to the guy who stays up all night watching a place armed with a night stick. I have seen this type of guard also and he probably only gets 500,000 pesos a month.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 12, 2005, 16:26:

Perhaps? Perhaps, what your security guard friend meant was $1 million one-time bonus. No friggin way is ANY company in Colombia more than doubling a guy's salary just because he had a kid.

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caslug says on Dec 12, 2005, 19:38:

i think you´re right.. my spanish is not good enough to understand details sometimes. I asked another friend that this evening, and she said they get 1 million, BUT she said, it´s not much when you consider caring for a kid is very expensive. I guessing she means that it´s a one time bonus and continue care cost much more.

Either way, many mothers unfortunately doesn´t see the extra money. Too bad they dont give it to the mother instead of the ¨father¨.

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morphus says on Dec 12, 2005, 22:08:

an extra million pesos? thats not happening. if the government was helping, a million pesos a month would be overkill for just one little baby. whole families of 5 or 6 people are living on less than that. the government in Colombia is more generous than i thought though. a girl i know in Medellin has a few teenage cousins in the North. the mother died of cancer and the father abandoned them. the government gave them around $5000 dollars to buy a house. the 2 older cousins have jobs now and are helping the younger ones. that little boost helped them a lot. i'm sure a lot of people never get any help though. it could be rough. i saw a lady with 3 kids begging for money in Poblado in front of a pharmacy late at night. another lady told her to take her kids home before they get sick. she said she has to come up with 5000 pesos a day to pay for the room they are staying. why anybody would bring children into the world under those conditions is beyond me. the men that are getting these women pregnant and running off are scum of the earth. some of them even get 2 different girls pregnant at the same time. the girls are stupid too. they don't take birth control and are scared of getting an abortion for religion purposes. a lot of the time the girl has to work as a prostitute after the guy dumps her.

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morphus says on Dec 13, 2005, 02:35:

American welfare is rediculous. people leach off the system. they order pizza and drink beer all day with the money. those people deserve to freeze and starve. they should give them six months to get a job. if not, then pick the coldest day of the year and throw them in the street.

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calipro says on Dec 13, 2005, 03:15:

morphus Over 50 percent of all welfare reciepants are children. You wouldn't be advocating throwing those little ones out in the cold would you. hehehe !! Now that is cold blooded.

I have an idea how about we sent one adult welfare reciepant to Mexico for every dirty little wet back that makes it across that desert and finds himself a job. LOL!! Now that ought to boost american productivity. Forget the guest worker program. Just make them a citizen.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 13, 2005, 05:21:

I know many little Mexican modefoques that got to the NYC bus station at 3 am and at 5 am already had a job and this is after first crossing and nearly dying in the desert then dodging bullets from redneck minutemen. Feeling unwelcomed in the south west, they continued their journey by crawling under a Greyhound bus and riding 5 days hanging from the tail pipe all the way to NYC to be only welcome, but not hated, with a nice frigid 7 degree wind. He then walks across the street, the corner of 41st and 8th avenue to ask the Korean who don’t be talking no Spanish or English, for a job. The Mexican of course don’t be talking no English or Korean either, but a few hours after arriving, he’s already stockpiling the place with fruits and vegetables from 5am to 10pm. . Korean and Mexican communicate by using sign language, meanwhile many American born well paid and in many cases over paid and underworked fat Budweiser drinking, gather in the backyard of their nice white picket fence home eating their hot dogs and hamburgers discussing their favorite topic, how to wipe out them there Mexicans.
I will not deny, I might be a bit underworked and reasonably paid, but I hate nobody and especially little ugly injun modefoques that only want a chance to work their ass off for less than minimum wage. If I was my boss I would fire my Colombia ass and hire me a Mexican, anyone with half a brain could do what I do.
Listen you Home Sweet Home Alabama and country music listening gringos, Colombians are the ones to worry about, they don’t wanna come to USA to wash your meat loaf and mashed potato stained dishes, those pretentious modefoque wanna come here and be your freaking boss, do you know how many gringos I supervise?

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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elmodefoque says on Dec 13, 2005, 05:43:

Mario, just between you and me, I LOVE that freaking song, “where the skies are so blue” but, I could never understand is how a hippie modefoque like me living an apartment in the village, NYC late 60’s early 70’s with 20 other drug abusing and lazy modefouqes could love that song never being anywhere near Alabama.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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caslug says on Dec 13, 2005, 06:56:

gringodel..i´ve talked with MANY amigas and a few security guar Here in COL about this topic once i heard about it. Is it academcially accurrate? no, but i´m not writing a college thesis either. However I did ask my friend if the 1 milliones for her sister ex-novio is one time or monthly, she said MONTHLY. NOW, i´m NOT saying ALL companies or jobs have this, BUT SOME.

Also, Mothers(female) in third world countries ARE generally CONSIDER more responsible than FATHERS. That´s why in many third world countries it´s the MOTHER that cares for the kid, while the FATHER(ex boyfriend, ex husbands) are NOT around or are dead. In India, the leading banker who funds micro lending, said in article that his banks give micro loans to the MOTHER(NOT father) because they think MORE long term, they´ll use the loan MORE wisely to try to improve the lives of family.

If you talk with LOTS of single mothers as I have, you´ll find a common theme that the MANY of the men, to off and not helping or very little financially or with time. Once they find another girlfriend or wive and start another family with the new gal, the old gal AND his old kid is generally left behind. To see a informal survey goto the children play area on a weekend, you can see TONS of mothers taking kids to play, but you dont see many SINGLE fathers taking kids, AND the majority of the women are there alone. Of course you´ll see many couples, but the majority are not couples, but women and her kid.

NOT ALL COL guys are like this, MANY are responsible fathers. BUT there´s NO DENYING that MANY are irresponsible, AND the system doesn´t help MAKE the irresponsible father take responsiblity.

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 13, 2005, 07:57:

With 1.5 million illegal Mexicans in Texas alone, I am not sure that they are finding the Southwest to be an unfriendly location. Hell, our local school superintendent will not let La Migra enter the schools even when they know that there are illegals there. My neighbors and I see illegals all the time and I probably know at least 20 I can name but we are minding our own business.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 13, 2005, 08:39:

Consider the source Caslug, it only just occurred to me that your source on this is the sister of the jilted single mom. Consider the source. I'm sure when you lived in CA you heard this same shit all the time, too, such as "My sister's ex-husband makes a million dollars a year and that prick will only pay for little Johnny to go to UCLA but not for Harvard... and have you seen that young SLUT that he's shacked up with now..."

My money says this story is 85% cattiness, 10% urban legend and 5% wishful thinking.

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caslug says on Dec 13, 2005, 08:45:

i agree mr h. if it was only my friend who told me this i would suspect it too. But i asked the security guy and several other amigas. They all said that in some places men(or maybe even women) get more money when they have a child. In japan, the employers DO pay more when a worker has a child. So if can happen in Japan on a national scale, it doesn´t suprise me it can happen in COL. I know coming from the US, it seem odd and strange. What different in COL is that they DONT require the couple to be married, unlike japan which does.

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 13, 2005, 09:24:

Tonight I am going to make a point of asking my resident sabelotodo about this.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 13, 2005, 09:42:

UC I await her wisdom.

Caslug, just to be clear, I don't doubt that an employer, even in Colombia, might give some kind of pay bump to a guy who just had a kid. I just don't accept the figures. Not even in Japan would they give a guy a 120% raise because he had a kid.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 13, 2005, 09:57:

Hey UC, I got a “sabelotodo” at home too!
The cool thing about south west states is that you actually have legal Mexicans, you guys got Mexican that were there when all that shit was still Mexico, but our Mexicans here in NYC are ALL illegal modefoques. We gotta have close to a million already.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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morphus says on Dec 13, 2005, 14:36:

single mothers its just too easy for a guy to get laid in Colombia. thats the problem. i know a guy in Medellin. he's 45, fat and wears thick glasses. he lives in the North, drives an old car and works in a bakery. yet, he has a pretty blonde 19 year old girlfriend. i guess if you have wheels and a job in Colombia, you get girls. it can be ANY job and ANY type of wheels. a motorcycle is like having a Rolls Royce in Colombia. i know guys here in the U.S. that make $80,000 a year and have nice cars and still can't get a date.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 13, 2005, 16:32:

Hey morphus, if you don’t mind I like to show your above post to a friend of mine. That sorry modefoque has been lonely for nearly 20 years, he’s now 53 and makes about 60 g’s a year working for the Post Office. He has a boat and of course a nice car, but still can’t get laid here in nyc. I gotta be hones that modefoque is a little crazy, was Airborne in last days of Vietnam, and has a terrible temper plus is an old fashioned modefoque, still listens to doo wop music. His passion is fishing and horse back riding and is in pretty good shape, a little bald but hides it under his dyed pony tail. Please let me know what his chances are? I really feel sorry for that unlucky in love bastard. I think the last time he was inside a women was when he visited the statue of liberty.

PROUD ENEMY OF THE RIGHT WING!!!!!! THANK YOU!

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morphus says on Dec 13, 2005, 17:19:

go ahead but some guys just can't be helped.

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 13, 2005, 18:47:

Here is her take on it.

She says that for people who work but only make the minimum wage, there will be a subsidy for a worker's child for recreation like for Confama. She also said that for many union members, they will get a one time payment for having a child but she thought it was only 70,000 or 80,000 pesos. When I told her about the security guy in Caslug's post who received a million pesos, she scoffed. She said if that were true everybody in Colombia would want to have the guy's job.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 13, 2005, 19:23:

Geez, Elmo, you can't get the guy some play for pay? Send him down here. I'll take him over the border and he can get his brains screwed out for a few bucks.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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