PBH / colombia (active forums more▼ | travelguide | pictures) / post

Secretaria de salud almost hosed me bad - but there was a silver lining!

All last week we were buying triple everything for mother´s day which is the best non-sporting event sales day of the year. We were stocked to the max with all meats, fish, burgers etc. when the gestapo, oops I mean, Alcaldia de Medellin´s Secretaria de Salud came and shut me down for minor violations. I never understand how people have licenses to cook empanadas and things on these roach carts or in dirty frying pans on bricks over dirt in the street without running water, soap or lights but since I have a grease spot on the exhaust fan and no running water behind the bar (which is funny because we simply bring the dirty glasses to the sink in the kitchen anyway), I get shut down for 2 days and bust our arses 24 hours to clean every nook and cranny of the place for the re-inspection which I begged for as Mother´s day is such a good sales day. I mean we took out toothbrushes to clean electrical switches, light covers, tv´s, etc. Anyway, they let me open after being shut 2 days except now I cannot use the actual physical bar. I can use the area around the bar for seating and the tv´s and such, I just cannot serve any glassware or beer from on or under the bar, i have to serve it from the kitchen which is how we always served from the kitchen anyway, all until I put a sink in it which wouldnt be so bad except now I have to break up the floor to put drainpipe in for a sink I´ll never use.

But the silver lining came in while I was up for about 30 hours cleaning every little thing when my luck went worse and DIAN came stormtrooping in. I wanted to cry. They came in with strong attitude and asked for the camera commercio, the authorization for facturizacion numbers, RUT, the last daily "cierre" and last month´s rent receipt. I gave them everything and they just looked me up and down like they just wanted to screw me so bad, they know you cover up sales tax and that I´d be bent over within minutes. But we were closed to the public at that point. He asked, well when would we not be "sellado". I said without trying to be too much of a jerk because he knows it´s not my call that "I dont know, it could be a day, or it could be 3 months." Then he asked am I sure there is no servicio al publico and i said, I´m sure and go look at the plancha and deep fryer. Theyre cold. So I guess they wanted to see a transaction to see the ordering & billing system we use. He then blurted "I am going to show you what is WRONG with this daily report of sales". My heart jumped as I thought, what now can go wrong. He shouts "There´s no initial and final receipt numbers!". Again not trying to make him look like a dumb-arse and I´m sure without a shower in about 33 hours and sweating my butt off from the hard labor, It must have been a pleasure to smell me, I said, "Umm, Isn´t that it there where it says inicial & final?" beforehand, He had asked for our last receipt of the last sale before we were shut down in his hand that he checked it against the sales report and it checked out. Then he went thru a checklist of a dozen other things that needed to be on the receipt and the daily closing report and we passed 100%. I always love how everything is like the first time in Colombia and this was no different. They didn´t know what to do because I was closed by the health inspector and there wouldn´t be any live transactions while they were here. So he wanted a copy of the sticker noting "sellado" for the file and he started to pull it off the wall and I interjected that I wasn´t comfortable with him doing that as that wasn´t under his authority and I didn´t want any more problems nor didn´t want to show contempt for the health dept. So he wrote down all the info from the sticker, put it on his report, gave me a copy and said "ok, we´ll see you the next time we´re in the area" and left. Woo-Hoo!!!! So maybe by being closed, we maybe evaded a major audit where they may have looked over every single item in our books along with fines and payments. Again as they left they were sarcastic just like a cop who pulls you over when you were 18 in your Camaro the last day of the month making you test your directionals, hazards, lights, hi-beams, windhsield wipers, etc. looking for anything to ticket you to make his quota and then leaving disgusted beacuase he couldn´t find anything. Anyway, DIAN now tipped their hand to me on what I need so Ill be even more ready the next time they come. Now come on over to the cleanest restaurant in town.

By spigrimace on May 14, 2007, 12:39 in Friendly Talkzone.

tomtom33 says on May 14, 2007, 13:03:

You're more of a man than I. It's tough enough just trying to exist here without trying to earn a living, too.

My novia is currently visiting two banks concerning my apartment purchase in Jan. That was 4 months ago, and they still have questions?

After 3 tries, I finally got my gas hooked up today. Let's see, we requested that in Jan.

I may or may not have my resident VISA before I leave for the States next week. My money is on "may not."

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Brians says on May 14, 2007, 13:12:

Sprig this is why I would never want to do what you do in Medellin. Far too difficult. Is it all worth it? I mean I am sure you could find easier ways to make a living down there no?

0 funny, 0 helpful.

DonCuloBlanco says on May 14, 2007, 13:17:

spig I got a question for you and don't need any input from the peanut gallery. First yep you got giant balls for doing what you are doing. Are you American by chance? If so do you think maybe this whole thing going on in congress is responsible for this rash of taxcollectors to your business. I am asking because I have noticed a difference in attitude among some since recent political events from our new congress.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

miamimike says on May 14, 2007, 13:53:

Don Gringo, Welcome Back,,, Like the Rozerem Sleeping Ad with Abe Lincoln and his Beaver Buddy "We missed you, says Honest Abe" Welcome back DG

http://www.rozerem.com/home_c2.aspx

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

billyb says on May 14, 2007, 14:29:

The peanut gallery is here to provide free input... whether you need it or not.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

DonCuloBlanco says on May 14, 2007, 15:38:

oh gee you got me it is Don gringo...oh no it actually is UC...naa I have to be honest it is Gib, no wait to tell the truth it is Arthur...Ok boys and girls it is DonCuloBlanco and I resemble that name so start using it.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on May 14, 2007, 16:35:

do you think they might just be giving you a hard time so that you'll offer to pay them off?

I have no idea if it works that way, but that would be my suspicion.

I hear that police often come around at christmas looking for a little bonus, and you don't have to give one, but they won't be hanging around your block if you don't.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Miguel_Clavo says on May 14, 2007, 23:50:

whatz up with those Sabers???????????????? Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo =)..aka, DragonSlayer..2-0..Colombia es pasión!

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

vicshere says on May 15, 2007, 07:49:

my thoughts hey spig ... I think someone ratted you out...either an employee or the competition......2 visits in such a short period of time...yea right....someone has it out for you and they have notified the authorities....like you said these people have bigger fish to fry but they picked on you.....you been ratted out plain and simple....if I was you I would watch your back as these assholes will be back

listo

listo

0 funny, 0 helpful.

JMCana says on May 15, 2007, 08:05:

Competition spigrimace - I have only been in Colombia a short time and have yet to learn the underhanded business ways, but judging from experiences in other countries, I would say in this specific instance that it was a competitor who set you up. And not an intelligent competitor at that. So, now smile and tell everyone how the visits were a blessing in disguise and how you now have the best and cleanest store in town.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

DonCuloBlanco says on May 15, 2007, 08:06:

yep but I wonder if it is all tied up in this political talk I am hearing here that is very anti-US relations? No doubt they had it in for him. Once one agency shows up and sees a problem or maybe just sees a gringo they let the other agencies know all about you and a wave of a holes show up. Just curios as to the why? beyond someone ratting him out which sure is a possibility

0 funny, 0 helpful.

spigrimace says on May 15, 2007, 08:10:

Could be someone ratted me out or because I´m american but I went to the neighboring restaurants and the health inspector went to each and every one (verified by the health dpt. sticker with the may 10 2007 date on it). They dont have the means to do random inspections. Also, I saw the van of about 12 DIAN inspectors pull up and they did go to the neighboring restaurants too which is what they said they were going to do.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

JMCana says on May 15, 2007, 08:13:

Yes, that is possible too Possibly it could be an anti-american thing.

Where I am at though, I am seeing the opposite. The Colombians around me are glad that the FTA is not going trough stating that it only makes the rich richer and does little for them. These are working class Colombians.

But as you point out, it is a government agency and the Colombian government has been attacking American companies like Chiquita Banana and Drummond Coal. Not to mention Santos spouting off.

0 funny, 0 helpful.