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Safety precautions in Barranquilla

So there I was behind a counter in a bank on 72 st Barranquilla, changing 15 thousand USA dollars in cash into 30 millones de pesos. The lady began counting my 100 dollar bills and a couple were handed back cus they started with serial letter not accepted by this particular bank. The nerve of those modefoques!
After filling out a long ass bank questionnaire and signing all over the fokin place plus getting finger printed I finally start getting my pesos. It took a few minutes, but it felt like hours, for my nephew to count all that money in full view of all in the bank, mostly in 50 mil peso bills
Needles to say I was sweating profoundly and shittin bricks. I walked out first with a bag full of money as my big ass young nephew followed 10 feet behind. As we approached his then old taxi, he rushes pass me and opens the passenger doors for me to jump in.
He speeds off while looking at the rear view mirrors, on the look out for any motorcycles or cars following too closely behind.
We get to the hotel and immediately ask for the hotel safe box. There!! NOTHING HAPPENED!!
Sometimes I too get caught up watching too many negative news stories about Colombia. Yes, shit does happen but if you’re vigilant and walk around with a big modefoque like my nephew and you look like a PARACO leader like me then everything will be ok.
If you need to feel safe in curramba , e-mail me at "malpariohp at yahoo.com" and I’ll put you in touch with my nephew/driver/bodyguard (below) he’s now driving my brand new 2008 taxi.

By elmodefoque on Jun 13, 2007, 07:01 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


elmodefoque says on Jun 13, 2007, 07:02:

.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Jun 13, 2007, 07:06:

we look very much alike, many think he's my much younger brother

I'll get there, when I get there!

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tompower says on Jun 13, 2007, 07:20:

I'll use him elmodefoque Hey for sure I'll use him when I'm there. Does he hand out the same kernels of wisdom that you do? I've enjoyed your posts.
Remember, we're all in this together.
Tom Power

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lochdhu says on Jun 13, 2007, 07:20:

Ooooh photoshop fodder.



www.SantaMarta.com

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Robert Jorge says on Jun 13, 2007, 08:21:

I see the taxi, but where is your brother? Oh, nevermind. jajaja. But seriously, do you have any pics of the taxi? Also, how did you get the cash into Colombia? Did they allow you to declare and bring that much in? Or did you just put it in your carry-on and hope for the best? They (DAS) seemed pretty strict on money coming in, in the form of cash at the airport. Explain the process if you don't mind.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 13, 2007, 08:55:

Hey RJ, no big deal, was wearing army cargo pants with pockets all over the place. Placed my money in one of the pockets, boarded the plane to Barranquilla and off I went.
I did bring papers proobing the legality of my cash, just in case.
5 hours later in curramba, DAS checked my mid size single luggage and out the door I went. I bring no fokin gifts, just the chit I'm gonna need to wear.
Had to wait 45 minutes outside the airport (cash in my pocket) cus my nephew’s taxi broke down, but no sweat, I look like a modefoque you don’t wanna mess with.
After my nephew finally arrived with a bottle of aguadiente I took a shot and we went to eat chicharron in Murrillo. We sat there eating and downing coteñitas. We then went to my mom’s place just a couple minutes away and sat outside the place drinking more aguardiente.
Late afternoon I finally made it to my hotel. Placed the money in my pillow case, called a hooker and got busy. That hot broad had no idea she was laying on 15 thousand dollars in cash. A few hours later I give her 100 mil pesos and then throw her ass out and I went to sleep.
There, my first day in Curramba. Two days later I was peeing outta my ass hole.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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taladro says on Jun 13, 2007, 09:05:

one scary lookin dude
one scary lookin dude

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elmodefoque says on Jun 13, 2007, 09:07:

thanks!! he takes after me.
thanks!! he takes after me.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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bhill says on Jun 13, 2007, 10:44:

Cash? Why didn't you wire the money?

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bhill says on Jun 13, 2007, 10:47:

Re: no offense...BUT You do understand that el modefoque is Colombian, right?

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cayita says on Jun 13, 2007, 10:50:

this is funny! "And just because the bank needs to be careful about changing certain bills because people counterfeit YOUR country's money is no reason to swear at the bank." sweet

Yea you dumbass Americans quit making that dollar so we won't be able to counterfit it!

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cayita says on Jun 13, 2007, 10:52:

emodef way to help out your family by keeping it in the family. You seem like a good guy to me.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 13, 2007, 10:54:

Wire money to where?
This is Wire money to where?
This is the easiest way to do it. As long as the money is legit and you can prove it, bring your cash and then take your ass to the nearest bank or better yet an exchange joint, they took all my unwanted 100 dollar bills with absolutely no hassle.

I got even with that broad in the bank, I handed back some of the 50 mil peso bills that were too crumbled-up for my liking.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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Robert Jorge says on Jun 13, 2007, 20:49:

Thanks for the info Elmo. One more question: What did you get for 100.000 mil? How long? And, I still would like to see a picture of your brother's (your) new taxi. What kind (make/model) is it? My buddy's cousin also drives a cab in Villavo. It is a Hyundai. It is pretty much on the road 24/7, time split between the cousin and another relative. LONG hours.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

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seabass says on Jun 14, 2007, 06:16:

I'm surprised that hooker didn't sniff out the cash, Elmo. They're like a bloodhound when it comes to money.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 14, 2007, 06:41:

RJ, the taxi a 2008 SYMBOL by Renault and I added another $3,000. USA to convert to GAS.
I was thinking of doing two shifts but that will destroy the car a lot quicker. I could deal with the monthly payments generated from one shift.
I’m not really out to make a profit, just to pay this shit and have a taxi when I ever I visit curramba. I was not too crazy about my nephew having to work an old taxi for some low life, while he could work for this low life, me! in a new taxi.

Guys, for 100 mil you get them to stay over night, you just have to be careful and sleep with one eye open.
Like seabass says, they could sniff out cash, the simple green dollars or those colofull pesos.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kalder says on Jun 14, 2007, 06:54:

I am shocked that none of you have called Elmo on his gross objectification of women.

He should have loaned that girl the 100,000 mil as seed money for a non-exploitative business venture and had a wank instead.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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pedro says on Jun 14, 2007, 16:01:

Taxi Elmo, what about the sound system?

What I liked best about Jhon's old taxi was cranking up the music while cruising around the city.

que nota!

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podborski says on Jun 14, 2007, 18:53:

I never know what to believe in elmo's stories but who cares, they're always entertaining and I'm sure there's at least some truth in there.

One little note of caution to you youngsters out there though, I would be very careful about carrying more than $10,000 cash through cutoms.

I'm not sure about Colombia but in the airport in Argentina the signs very clearly state that any amount above that can be confiscated, no matter how legitimate the source.

They even include traveller's cheques in that too, so don't be trying to get smart.

I suspect Colombia's laws are the same and they probably look a hell of a lot more carefully for it there than they do here.

(Although it occurs to me if they took your checks you could claim them as stolen?)

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Robert Jorge says on Jun 14, 2007, 20:02:

Pod, that is why I asked Elmo how he got the cash in. I thought the limit was $10 grand. And, I also heard they can confiscate anything more than that and anything else that isn't declared. I would be shaking like a dog shitting razor blades if I had 15 grand on my person in El Dorado. (or any other Colombian airport) I understand the reasoning behind the law, but they really should make it easier for travelers to bring in more money. They could record the person's info, get a signed affidavit, whatever. Eventually, I'll be buying a place in Villavo, and I am not looking forward to getting the money from here to there. What a nightmare.

He who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

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podborski says on Jun 14, 2007, 20:45:

I understand too why they want to track where the funds came from, but like you say, as long as you can show it's from a legitimate source they shouldn't make it so hard to use a bank transfer.

(Maybe it isn't that hard in Col? I know there have been many discussions on this, I didn't read them)

Do you know if they have the equivalent of 'financieros' in colombia? Middlemen that you give funds to outside the country and they give it to you inside so nothing goes across the border?

They are very common here, but I would be very cautious about using them in Colombia, if they even legitimately exist.

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elmodefoque says on Jun 15, 2007, 09:04:

Taxi"Elmo, what about the Taxi
"Elmo, what about the sound system?

What I liked best about Jhon's old taxi was cranking up the music while cruising around the city."
pedro

Hey Pedro, I’m bringing a kick ass Alpine system with DVD player and monitor. Get ready, we’re gonna have porno (for porno aficionados) and loud music playing all over curramba.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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expatriate says on Jun 15, 2007, 16:11:

Taking cash out of a bank needs planning What Elmo did was change dollars for Pesos, then took a taxi directly to a guarded hotel, which is OK. The problem is when you withdraw a large amount of Pesos from your own bank account at the teller, then go straight home.

The teller has access to your address, and can call his/her buddies and tell them to be waiting for you at your home, to be robbed at gunpoint. That has happened several times that I know of to friends and relatives, plus it happened to a professor who was killed. That made the newspapers a year or two ago.

If you are young, skilled, and intelligent, you might want to seriously consider leaving the US now, while you still can.

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Lucho562 says on Jun 15, 2007, 17:42:

Simoncho Great post elmodefoque!!!!!!!

Thats the right way to take large amounts of money out of a bank in Quilla.

Similar thing happened to me. I went to calle 72 con 54 to take money out of the bank, approx. 11 millones. I went with my cousins friend who has his own taxi and with my 2 cousins. I walked in with 1 of my cousins, the other cousin stood outside at the entrance and the taxi guy in the car with the engine running. I withdrew the liga and we bolted out of there!! Taxi guy was already pulling out in reverse when he saw me hit the door. We had to take the $ alll the way to Simoncho...fuck like a 30 minute suicide drive. Nonetheless GREAT post...ay Quilla como te extraño.

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elreydelostrolls says on Jun 15, 2007, 18:10:

I keep telling you guys you need to be in tight with people who are used to handling large amounts of cash. You wouldn't have these problems if you made the right connections in ParaColombia.

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