Received CR1 packet for interview...

PaisaAmericano says on Feb 15, 2007, 19:23:

Tough to be in your shoes Man, I hate to even get into this. Either she is gonna bolt! like its happened to some cats from the states I know or she is legit and has legitamate reasons to just wrap things up in her country. Listen, many people before they realize that "this is it" and are changing their lives and lifestyle....have second thoughts and are scared or anxious. Give her the time to tie up those loose ends my friend. You both had the interview, it went well and she got it!!! awesome! but her life has always been in Colombia thats all she knows. Give her a break, let her say goodbye to all her family and friends, her food, her music, her culture. Its scary man for anyone moving to a different country, be a little sensitive about that aspect.

Now if she has given you some signs of infidelity and in your heart feel that she is gonna bolt, then you need to tighten the reigns. Why dont you stay with her in Colombia? And go through the "Good-Bye process" with her? You´re married now and you should not give her that altimatum of staying alone and you leaving. Hold her hand through this tough and emotional time. If you decide to be by her side....and she is shady about it, then you now know what you are dealing with brother. Good luck to you and I hope you keep us posted on what happens.

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seammckenna126 says on Feb 15, 2007, 19:37:

Well, I can understand her wanting to go back home for a bit. She is going to another country to stay and will only be making a visit once a year or so.
I'd say let her go, but if your unsure then I'd tell her your coming with her...just to see what she says and how she acts. If she's adamant about going by herself, without you, I'd consider that very weird. I mean...your her husband, what problem could she possibly have with you being with her unless she's up to something?

At this point in the game...you, as a husband and someone who loves her, absolutely need to trust her. If you don't, then you indeed have a big problem in your marriage. If after 2 years of marriage you still don't trust her...wow! Either your head has been in the sand or your over reacting. Really, only you can determine that.

I think I would find it extremely odd if she don't want you going with her to say her good-byes. Why weeks? She knew she was leaving and now she knows when (if she's approved)...That strikes me as odd also, unless she needs to sell a house or something major like that. She should already have everything lined out and just take a few days to see her friends and family before the big journey. True, some women chicken out at the last moment and that's all it is. While sad and disappointing as that is...just consider that a good thing in a way...meaning, your not wasting anymore time on someone who doesn't really love you as much as they thought they did.

Bottom line really, is this...if you don't trust your wife (there or where ever) then you don't need to be married to her. Geography doesn't change who someone is inside.
Hope this helps a little.

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utopiacowboy says on Feb 15, 2007, 21:50:

Two years was way too long to let this slide. You have to be the boss and if you're not feeling right about it, kick her to the curb hard.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Looking4Wife says on Feb 15, 2007, 22:07:

You stated "She made many different excuses to go back alone." This is out of character for a wife, a loving wife, and especially a loving Latina wife. Its one thing to want to go thru a last minute round of goodbyes when uprooting from your culture, its another thing to want to do it without your spouse.

I would consider the following in your situation:

1. As "seammckenna126" suggested, tell her you understand she wants to go back home first. You just want the two of you to be together, so you'll be glad to go with her... and see what she says.

2. Tell her you think her actions, i.e. not wanting you to accompany her, etc., are signs she may be unsure. Tell her maybe she needs time to think about if she's really ready to uproot her life (or both of you need time to think if this marriage is for the best)... and that maybe its better to delay the Visa interview... and see what she says.

3. Worst case scenario, if you think she's really trying to scam you, you could contact the Embassy, or USCIS, or NVC, and/or an immigration attorney to find out what you need to do to delay the interview on your own (without her consent). That might give you some time to see what's going on in her head... or time to figure out how to dissolve the potentially fraudulent marriage.

Buena Suerte y Dios te Bendiga

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laloca says on Mar 27, 2007, 09:34:

WOW!!!! it has taken you 2 years to get your wife here, oh my goodness. I don't know where your relationship stands at this point I hope everything is better now. I'm waiting for mine to get through, hiopefully my husband can make it here, I'm 9 months into the process and all I have received is the NOA1 and that is all. so I have 1 year and 3 months to go before he gets here. Oh gosh, any tips?
good luck with your situation.

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