Re: RELATIONSHIPS

Crazy4Cali says on Apr 18, 2006, 17:42:

Nahhh..... Gringos just like to brag (or complain, as the case may be) more.

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pia says on Apr 18, 2006, 17:54:

we are a very quiet and secretive people We are out there, somewhere. Actually, in another thread started by Tiffany, a few of us are commenting on our American woman/Colombian man relationships. I am American and with my husband (3 years now) who is from Medellin. We live in the US and recently visited Colombia. I love his personality, but it was culturally really hard to get used to and very frustrating at first. I honestly almost gave up, but it all worked out in the end.
I had to learn a lot of new things, however minor: how to dance, be around lots of people, receive a lot of affection from his enormous loud and crazy family and their cantaleta, how to stay up late at night, learn that when we make plans for dinner, people will just start showing up...everthing is more social, etc.

I personally am close friends now with 3 married couples in which a Colombian man is married to an American woman. Happily.

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alejis says on Apr 18, 2006, 18:23:

Re:
Thanks for your insights.

I also see that most Northamerican women (depending on the state or province as it is in the case of Canada) don't feel comfortable about Latin men at first due to their natural displays of passion and affection. Men's passion is often misunderstood among Northamerican women. This passion may make many women feel uncomfortable or vulnerable in certain situations, which is so part of our culture. By this I mean wanting to be naturally close, "huggy", touchy, etc, which is just not the way things are in USA or Canada.

This initial and quite open display of emotions and feelings, however, is generally more accepted by men, who in our society may feel less vulnerable and less threatened by this. As a result, I think many more men feel more interested in digging in and getting to know Latin women. Just some thoughts.

Ask me about COlombia!

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platano says on Apr 18, 2006, 18:56:

Perhaps the gringas are not aware of the better traits of the... Colombian male, such as their faithfulness in marriage. Could be that gringas have been contaminated by negative and false stereotypes, like the one that tries to say Colombian men are womanizers or "perros"?plátano

plátano

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pia says on Apr 18, 2006, 19:13:

truthfully, yes Yes, platano that was an issue early on, but not so much now.

I remember reading a long time ago some awful article in an online magazine saying 8 out of 10 colombian guys cheat on their wives. Total lies, but it was right after I started dating my husband, so there really are some bad stereotypes out there. Hopefully people are smart enough to think for themselves and draw their own conclusions.

Also, I heard many comments on appearance of Colombian women (hottest in the world, etc.) from some Colombian (and American) guys however very few comments on other good qualities of Colombianas (which are many, as with my Colombiana friends), which made me wonder...are the guys really totally focused on appearances. And, if so, do I want to have to deal with that on top of other cultural differences.

As it turned out, I think it was just that the guy talk was more vocal than I was used to, since after I got to know the people doing the talking, the actions didn't match the words. They were good guys. But, at the time, it didn't help. Again, it takes a little bit of independent thought to see the big picture.

Some of that stuff was a setback but not a total roadblock.

All of the extra affection now I have learned to like. The guy talk I ignore. And, I enjoy being part of my new enormous family. I really love the life I have with my Colombiano.

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pia says on Apr 18, 2006, 19:27:

yep We are all stereotyping, and all sifting through the pile looking for the rare good ones, or at least the good match to ourselves. Sometimes I think it is more effective to stereotype by profession/career than by country. Just a fun thought on another way to wrongly overgeneralize unique people...

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AqGringo says on Apr 18, 2006, 19:52:

Maybe supply and demand? If the ladies in Colombia are the gems that many here say they are, then I suppose that Colombian men would just have more opportunities/temptation to cheat than perhaps men from other countries do. I dont know if this is the case or not, but if the phenomenon does exist, this could be a possible explanation for it.

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poco says on Apr 18, 2006, 20:14:

Looking in all the wrong places
I'm curious why you hear about so many stories of gringos hooking up with Latin women but so few of Colombian men hooking up with American women. I guess Latin women have it easier to sell their personality to Americans than Latin men to American women?

You have made an understandably incorrect "guess" concerning your observation.

This perception is the result of economic circumstances limiting the ability to travel and not personalities.

Colombians of both sexes have alluring cultural traits and attributes not found in their suitors home country.

Observation has shown that "foreign" women traveling to Colombia are more educated, with better jobs. These women soon come to appreciate the "Hidden" beauty of Colombian men to the extent they marry and both normally return to the womans country. I have reason to believe this happens in the majority of cases.

I've talked with Colombian men married to women from North America and have come to this conclusion,, as represented by this raw "art form" being prepared for painting by a Colombian artesian.



Click the photo: More information about Colombian mens "Hidden" attributes.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 18, 2006, 20:20:

Why do you think they say "Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."? Colombianos are not stupid.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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pia says on Apr 18, 2006, 20:26:

and back to real life I guess heaven for us is the real happiness we have. And TWO American salaries. And a lot of mutual respect.

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SingSling says on Apr 18, 2006, 20:48:

Same Everywhere Sorry to say it has little to do with the attributes or otherwise of Colombian men/women but everything to do with economics.

Go to the Phillipines, Indonesia, Malaysia, Eastern Europe, Russia and you will find the same phenomenom, men are shallow creatures who trawl the world for superficially attractive women and many many women will take the chance and try to improve their circumstances. This isn't to condone the behaviour just to point out that what is driving this has very little to do with 'personality'.

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Miguel_Clavo says on Apr 19, 2006, 08:30:

I beg to differ, SingSling.. but in my humble opinion, ***DELETED***.....I would prefer a Jaguar rather than a Yugo any day of the week...And i have been to all those places with the exception of Malaysia. Not politically correct? the truth rarely is.....

" men are shallow creatures who trawl the world for superficially attractive women".....do i denote a man-hating tone with a dash of jeolousy there?...if we are such trawling fisherman, we have to distinguish which fish are good for bait, and those which are good for consumption, right? (using your terminology)

Just my opinion...

Miguel_Clavo...faltan 72 días.....

"Ignorance is a Weapon of Mass Destruction..."

"I would rather die living life, than to live a dying life."........ Oh, and my PM is always ON. Great Bumper Sticker: "Home of the Free, Because of the Brave"

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caslug says on Apr 19, 2006, 14:30:

fr what i see in US.. and COL.. Society, culture, and economy in COL allows for men to have more opp't to cheat(esp men with decent money-middle class or higher) MUCH more than US.. some reasons..

1) Sexist society
2) lack of equal rights enforcement in workforce or society
3) lots of poverty(60% of population living in poverty)
4) legalize prostitution & cheap

So put ANY guy(col or foreign) with some money and decent job IN COL, and he'll have LOTS more opp't to cheat with little consequences. Example, in COL govt doesnt go after deadbeat father as hard(govt has other pressing things to worry about like security issues). So a guy can knock up a girl and NOT pay the consequence(ie child support). In the US, most guys i know who are divorce or have kids out of wedlock, pay some child support because the legal system is more efficient(tack on wages)

Put a COL guy in the US and he'll have to stop cheating if he wants to settle down. Because here in the US, guys can't knock girls up with paying child support, or CANT go to the "casa" for afternoon quicky(it's illegal AND LOTS more expensive), or women in the US rarely will accept a guy who's a cheated on his last GF, and of course since many women make as much money as men in the US. Plus In COL, new GF are thinking, he cheated on her(old GF), BUT he wont cheat on me(new GF).

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alejis says on Apr 19, 2006, 20:15:

Re: VERY INTERESTING I thought I would give it a couple of days to see the type of feedback that I would get and I'm surprised about all the attention that my comment drew. I'm from Bogota and I have learned something new from everyone and I have been reminded of some important facts by some of you. I have lots and lots more to say...I have drawn several conclusions from all this but I don't want to bore you. And thanks as well to Pia for sharing an American woman's point of view on the comment; a fair point of view. I hope you all keep writing lots. God bless.

Ask me about COlombia!

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gracez45 says on Apr 20, 2006, 06:37:

everyone is different i am not married to a colombian but i have been dating one for over a year and a half, and he is almost the opposite of all the stereotypes i have heard. i was "waiting" for a long time for his "true colours" to come out as i heard from other people, you know, the cheating, not calling, saying, doing what he said he would, me man, you woman, do as i say bit, but it hasn't happened. have to admit, he does try to get me to do all the cooking. anyway, my point is that everyone is different, or maybe people change as they mature. he has had gringa girlfriends who did everything for him and he didn't equally reciprocate. they treated him like he was some superstar to "keep" him or god only knows why. he knows that he couldn't pull that shit with me. so maybe he is "good" b/c i won't put up with it, or maybe he is "good" b/c he is now a grown-up, and wants to be with someone who he thinks is his equal, i haven't got a clue. We have similar personalities & interest, different culture, language and religion, so it is not easy, but we both try and we are hopeful that it will all be worth it.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 06:47:

i'm a colombian who grew up dating mostly white girls and to me they are by far the most beautiful women in the planet, but besides that you gotta love their attitute. They could be rough and tumble one minute and classy the next. I just got back from miami and got to see many tourist from the mid west, man oh man, those girls took my breath away. Many were very tall, 100 watts blue eyed, blinding bright blonde hair, thick powerful muscular legs, nice firm shapely ass, and a 6 pack stomach and the girl were even more beautiful!

I'll get there, when I get there!

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IMorcombe says on Apr 20, 2006, 06:54:

Elmito A dial tone takes your breath away !!!

Maria Ines

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 06:59:

right now, i get a hard on just when the wind blows

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 07:50:

love them white girls i'm a colombian who grew up dating mostly white girls and to me they are by far the most beautiful women in the planet, but besides that you gotta love their attitute. They could be rough and tumble one minute and classy the next. I just got back from miami and got to see many tourist from the mid west, man oh man, those girls took my breath away. Many were very tall, 100 watts blue eyed, blinding bright blonde hair, thick powerful muscular legs, nice firm shapely ass, and a 6 pack stomach and the girl were even more beautiful!

I'll get there, when I get there!

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 20, 2006, 08:29:

Remember Elmo Opposites Atract. although I like morenitos rather than whity. I like all those gorgeous Mexican Actors ;)

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 20, 2006, 08:39:

Where is my Fernando Colunga blow-up doll?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 08:43:

kat, my entire life i only dated one colombiana and i married her, now she has dumped my old, dried up ass. I think my destiny is to be alone playing with the fishes.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 08:44:

i plan to live under a bridge in miami and never shower again

I'll get there, when I get there!

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sweetcalena says on Apr 20, 2006, 08:52:

Elmo Just because a woman dumped you doesn't mean all are gonna do the same. I'm sure there is someone for you, be patient.
:-)

“Sit down to write what you have thought, and not to think about what you shall write.”William Cobbett

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 20, 2006, 08:53:

"i plan to live under a bridge in miami and never shower again"

Or you can go back to Barranquilla ;) and party all night

maybe someday i will pay you a visit under the bridge Elmo. ;)

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 09:31:

I already know exactly where I‘ll be living in the near future. There’s a bridge that goes across to Key Biscayne, is called the Rickenbacker crossway. I’ll be under that bridge, Miami side, with a bunch of homeless crazy Cubans. A good friend of mine from NYC went to live there about 5 years ago and is quite happy. Ok, I’ll probably smell like crap but as long as I don’t have to gotto work and instead fish all day and night, I’m content.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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elmodefoque says on Apr 20, 2006, 09:47:

Sweetcaleña, the first woman to dump my black ass was my own mother, abandoned us and took off with a corroncho bus driver when I was just 4 years old, after that I’ve been dumped so many times I could not even begin to count. Getting dump is no big deal, I’m quite use to it.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 20, 2006, 20:39:

So, Kat, if I hear a woman squealing like a pig under a bridge, can I assume that you've finally paid Elmo the visit he was waiting for?

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 21, 2006, 08:59:

I have no doubt of that, Senor. I just hope they let me video the whole thing and sell it on the internet.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 21, 2006, 09:24:

the one squealing is going to be Elmo, after I'll give him a good bath. jejeje :)

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 21, 2006, 09:32:

Estoy muy sucio, mi querida. Por favor lavame, Senora.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 21, 2006, 09:39:

I bet you got a very dirty mind UC ;)

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oldbongo says on Apr 21, 2006, 10:47:

takes one,...to know one.... man, this is a nice day,,,
all the people are out, playing, on the board.

so, as,the oldgringo is a marital counselor,
he assures you, you are all in good health, and temper.

cowboy very funny boy.

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 21, 2006, 13:20:

No sé porqué me dices eso. Es llenado de pensamientos de ti, mi amor.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 21, 2006, 13:22:

"cowboy very funny boy."

very dirty boy huh! I need to soak his mouth in Ariel

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 21, 2006, 13:29:

Como siempre. Promesas. Promesas.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 21, 2006, 14:08:

ok UC time and location :p

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utopiacowboy says on Apr 21, 2006, 18:43:

Is that a double dog dare? Are you going to give me an ass-whupping I'll never forget? Damm, I can hardly wait. Open up that can of whup-ass, mi querida.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Christian88 says on Apr 22, 2006, 01:03:

Sheesh. Get a room. ;-)

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Apr 22, 2006, 08:21:

you know christian88, Some people are only alive because it's against the law to kill them ;)

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krissie says on May 22, 2006, 16:50:

I'm a gringa with a Colombian novio and I think gringa's don't know what they're missing! I can only speak for myself, but maybe most white girls don't know how to accept all the Colombian man's affection and chivalry. I only dated (and married one) American men and maybe I'm lucky, but my Colombian novio is the best. It was so hard for me to get accustomed to having doors opened, being helped with my coat, him paying for EVERYTHING and being waited on all the time. It's not just my novio, every man in his family treats their wives/girlfriends the same way. Maybe alot of American women take the outward affection the wrong way and think they're dogs because they're touchy-feely. I have to admit, I was a little taken aback by the affection at first but once I let my guard down I could appreciate him and his culture. It was hard for him too, since I'm the first American woman he's dated, we're both learning as we go.

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me gusta bailar says on May 25, 2006, 20:31:

I'm Gringa who loves Latinos I have dated many but most have been born in the US, not foreign born. I am imagine this makes a big difference culturally. Anyway, los colombianos are among my favorites. Mine have been faithful, attentive, affectionate, sexy...they treat me like a princesa. What more could a woman want?!

Gringita con el corazon de Colombianita

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