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Queueing up in South America

It can be a struggle, but it's all worth it!

Written by Chris Goodliffe, chris at torontomail.com, August 1999.

Chris is back, with some do’s and dont's of queuing up in South America, which will prove to be essential if you actually want to get anywhere:

- Use what you have to get ahead. If you’re tall and large (which most North Americans are compared with sudamericanos), just move your way to the front ignoring any toes you may step on, or people you have to shove out of the way.

If you’re short, it’s best to maneuver your way in and out of the people, finding all the cracks and crevices you can to get ahead. If you get any comments or looks from people, just feign not being able to speak a word of Spanish.

- The secret is to PUSH! Don’t just rely on ‘con su permisso’ (literally, ‘with your permission’) to get you to the front. Just push your way as though they’re giving away $1 million to the first 10 people at the front of the line. Babies, old people, small children - don’t worry about ‘em - just shove! The word ‘queue’ probably doesn’t have a translation in Spanish, unlike in countries like England where everybody queues up in nice, straight, orderly lines for almost everything.

- As if in heavy automobile traffic, don’t let the person in front of you ever get more than an inch from you. If possible keep the tip of your nose on his / her back to keep you ‘right there’ at all times. It’ll drive you crazy, but the person behind you will always be RIGHT behind you smelling your back until they reach the front of the lineup. - Ensure you’re in the right line-up before getting into the line-up. You can spend anywhere from an hour to a day in a line-up that doesn’t do what you want it to do. After getting advice from one person (employee or not), it’s best to get a second, third and even fourth opinion. Never be under the false impression that employees know anything, even ones that have been working there for most of their life. A passer-by on the street could be (and probably is) more helpful in finding the correct line to be in.

- Unlike North America, the average South American grows up believing that the rich and powerful are simply lucky, and should have much better service than Everyday José. While in a line-up (esp. banks), don’t be surprised if every few minutes glitzy-looking people walk right by an obvious 2hr+ line-up, and simply take the next available counter, without even noticing the others waiting. If you’re sure enough of your Spanish, and are not in Colombia (chances are they’re packing heat), say something loudly. Try making them look like the snobbish bastards they are. Speak your mind! It will probably serve to do you nothing more than build your self-confidence (or it may get you killed), but give 'er a try anyway!

- In bank line-up's, you'll find that when you actually get to see the teller, there will be two characters standing as close as two coats of paint on either side of you, watching your every banking transaction. It does get a little daunting and you could always throw them some glare or yell at them, but that will undoubtedly do you more harm than good. My best move at this point is to quickly throw my arms around constantly 'accidentally' smacking them each time. They sometimes take a step back.

Useful?

By Peter (Moderator) (Trustee board) (Dev team) on Aug 11, 1999, 09:18 in Friendly Talkzone.

Peter (Moderator) (Trustee board) (Dev team) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Nov 11, 2003, 09:20:

By Mauricio, so2canchew at hotmail.com 2002-10-04
Yes Chris...you pulled a blooper this time! Ok so, were not AS organized as the UK or maybe Canada, but unless your in some dubious location people will line up (to some extent). As far as your "shove your way to the front" advice goes...Ill refer you to your "Heat" comment. If you think you'll get popped for running your mouth, doesnt it stand to reason that you'll get the "gat" from TWICE as many people if your SHOVING?? (snicker, snicker!). And um...have you ever been to Germany or France?..try "standing in line" there...they dont even waste time with "Con su permiso"!! Not to mention that many dont often take the time for a daily chat with Mr.Soap UGH!... at least Colombians do.

Poor but snappy

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Peter (Moderator) (Trustee board) (Dev team) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Jan 2, 2004, 14:04:

typical self gratifying american cracker Oh i wish i was ther for you to push me around, you wouldn't of been able to write that insane comment. What an ignorant cracker. That's the problem with the world today, them, think they run the world. All you white people please take his advice and throw your arms around everywhere and push everyone around, that way they'll be less of you in this world.

Poor but snappy

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terco panzone says on Apr 6, 2005, 19:11:

queing He's absolutely right about what it's like to stand in line in colombia, if not in the correct response. People really act like they don't know what a line is for!! The trick is to realize they are "acting"! If you don't say anything to them, and most don't, they will step right in front of you like you aren't even there. However, this rude behavior really bugs me and I always bring it to their attention that I AM ahead of them, and they always step back. Usually just to cut in front of the person behind me, but then I guess that's the other persons problem! I wish you could visit america, maybe in Texas or New York, and try to cut in line there!!!

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aceventura says on Jan 10, 2006, 16:21:

I found a very useful.... phrase when I first got here and spoke no word of spanish except for HOLA..."espere su turno." works like a dream esp if you shout, and do always make sure they know you are talking to them...SENORA or SENOR, will get their attention. ....and if this all fails, trust me the whole world knows what Fuckwit means.

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wOw says on Aug 2, 2006, 09:31:

[img]http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c85/JPMiami/neonsignzs7.png[/img]

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