perception of single mothers

christobeldawg says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:29:

I kept hearing, while in Colombia, that the Colombian guys don't want to marry a woman with a child. I believe these single moms have a harder time there than women in similar situations in the US.

traveling hopefully is always better than arriving

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webmanco says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:50:

Maybe not a new man but it will be harder to find the right man.

No hay extremo cierto o verdadero, porque los extremos opacan, enruedan, (lavan cerebros) verdades. Yotas

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guacharaca says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:57:

When dating in Colombia, it is difficult to ignore the following mathematical formula in reference to young single mothers.

Single mother (plus) no obvious employment (plus) not living in parent's home = hooker.

Colombianos: Las armas os han dado independencia, las leyes os daran libertad. (Santander)

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Catfish35 says on Apr 13, 2008, 20:51:

One point to look at also. A single mom in Colombia has a very large deck stacked against her going in. She knows this already if she is not brain dead. It is truly a shame that there are so many single moms that would make a great wife and so many single men that have appearance or other issues that would make great husbands/dads.
If the man could acknowledge that he has a ready to go family and accept that, and the woman can realize she is not going to land Brad Pitt or me, you may see geeky guys...well...like RAYYY walking down the street with a knock out woman on his arm and people saying man how did he get that and make such beautiful babies to boot!
And the woman just so happy to have a man to love her and accept the kids she washes his feet everyday when he comes home from emptying all those tiny little orange trash cans hanging every 10 or 15 feet on trees, poles, walls...etc.
BTW, I have yet to catch the gnomes that really do go around at night and empty all those damn things.

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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Lisa Zee says on Apr 13, 2008, 21:23:

It does`t seam a problem for PBHs.

La vida sera' contigo tan justa como lo eres con los dema's.

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eywed says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:06:

It really depends on the women as well. You see a very pretty women in Colombia with a child and she will have any more options than say an ugly women with a child.

Ay Hombe!!!!!

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miamimike says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:19:

As many Colombianos say on that point( a women over 30 with kiddies) "Estan Listo Para La Iglesia" LOL

Amazing even here Miami at the Church I attend I (usually attend the Spanish Services for the Spanish ) and I observe many Latinas at Mass with their Kids but only maybe 20% are with a Man. Big problem here also, lots of single moms.

Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte después Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte de

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miamimike says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:50:

Rubito--I avoid the ones with young Kiddies! LOL Mama didn't raise NO fool!

Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte después Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte de

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ietk says on Apr 14, 2008, 04:49:

It is kind of difficult to explain, but sometimes when you fall in love it really does not matter if the woman has kids or not, I remember I felt in love with a girl that got pregnant by her boyfriend only to see Him getting married when She was six months into the pregnancy, I ask Her to begin a relationship but She said no, I am still trying to figure that one out, that was a long time ago anyway, but the whole point of this is that sometimes love makes you do strange things.

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cja says on Apr 14, 2008, 04:54:

Best answer: gringoloid says "Send a picture of the woman and I'll let you know her chances."

Natalie Paris is a single mom and I would be okay with raise her child as minor issue in my marriage with her.

Also, if you look at all the colombian online marriage agencies and dating sites that gringos connect to (colombiancupid.com), you will find lots of single moms looking "a good man"

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MaFe says on Apr 14, 2008, 05:27:

I think gringloid is right! Je je!

My friend is a single mom here in the states...once a guy knows she has a kid..good bye!
I think in Colombia many men don't mind...just from what I saw....

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

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slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 06:25:

damn. I must have missed that class..

marriied twice. 1st wife already had 2 kids, 2nd had one. I have two of my own, for a total of 5 - and feel truly blessed.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 06:49:

but I gotta admit...more than one child, but never married, is the kiss of death for me.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 14, 2008, 07:48:

MaFe says on Apr 14, 2008, 08:45:

Well put Kat!

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. "-Aristotle

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jinksmiester says on Apr 14, 2008, 08:53:

I have heard of forien men wedding a colomian lady with childern and a dead beat dad who provides no support...but then comes into the picture when it comes to getting permission to bring the wife and child or childern to north america.That can be a concern when you must seek the fathers permission...ive been told of instances where permission will be granted by the father (after a bieng paid a huge sum of money)
complicates the issue...thats for sure

A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams

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Mononoke28 says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:18:

In most situations you will find that the single mom is financially rasing her kid alone. The guy probably freaked out and jetter out of the picture instead of taking responsibility. So of course the new guys KNOWS that if he gets involved with a single mom, he's the one who will have to pull out the cash not only for her but for the kid as well. And most man don't want to do that.

Diana

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slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:59:

"So of course the new guys KNOWS that if he gets involved with a single mom, he's the one who will have to pull out the cash not only for her but for the kid as well. And most man don't want to do that."

I'll never "get" being SO damned worried about the economic costs. Why else have $, if not to care for the people we love?

sometimes my fellow men embarrass me.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:38:

SiV says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:38:

Should call papa gringo sucker!

Stultórum númere infinitum est.

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:41:

SiV says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:47:

I agree with your second statement, Kat, but come on! Marry a hooker!! with a kid!! and you're not a sucker!??

Stultórum númere infinitum est.

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caligula says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:50:

lol siv...

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:52:

mranderson says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:54:

slyguy are you kidding? For those that don't have a money tree growing in the back yard it's pretty easy to be worried about the economic cost.

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slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:54:

how is "sucker"' defined, exactly? by being secure enough emotionally to seize joy when it's availlable, no matter the opinions of others?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:00:

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:03:

morph makes a helluva point! jajaajaaja

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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mranderson says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:16:

Kat1 I think you have me confused with someone else.

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slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:41:

"Certainly, there are some nice women with kids....it's just that ......why??"

maybe the better question is....why not?

unless it's just a money thing. if the financial responsibility is such a big deal, marriage is prolly a bad idea, period.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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Mononoke28 says on Apr 14, 2008, 12:39:

In Colombia is hard to meet a woman whose paycheck covers all her expenses and the kid's as well. With that said, it is obvious that whoever ends up dating her will have to be financially responsible for everybody. Most men don't want to do that.

I also don't think that the ones who do are "suckers", it's their choice and maybe they wanted to have an instant family all along, 2 for the price of 1. But many men don't want to take over the reponsibility and that's ok too. To each his own.

Diana

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miamimike says on Apr 14, 2008, 15:31:

Any guy (foreign) considering such a Move should have the Colombian mother(provided the colombian father isn't paying child support--and most of them are NOT) go to a Col Attorney and get the Colombian father to sign off ANY parental rights to the Child so he can never pop back into the Child's life making monetary demands of the Gringo New Husband and father. You want a clean slate and if you cannot get the Deadbeat dad to sign his rights away, forget it ; even if you as the prospective new Father have to flip him a Grand $$ or so to get his signature, its worth it knowing he is out of the child's life forever and can never come and hit you for Money and make life miserable. This happened to more then a few people I know and they regret not having such a Pre-Marital agreement. They are both divorced now from their Col Wives, the Problem was that grave,,,

Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte después Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte de

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jinksmiester says on Apr 14, 2008, 17:40:

Good advice mike ..

A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams

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deathnova says on Apr 14, 2008, 18:37:

slguy,

Weren't you the one trash talking me for spending on my Colombiana about 8 mo. ago?

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mranderson says on Apr 14, 2008, 19:40:

"mranderson so you call all those men who support their families, suckers?"

Kat1 can you please explain how you came to this conclusion?

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Azul says on Apr 15, 2008, 06:33:

Excellent point Mike! But what happens when the father is out of the picture completely like so many fathers are? I know one guy who split to another city when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. If she ever wanted to apply for a visa for herself and her baby, she could probably track down the father but would she really need to? Obviously there must be legal roadblocks in place to stop mothers from taking kids out of Colombia without the fathers permission....right?
....and morphus, Colombianos prefer virgins huh?...I should have know you'd say that! jajajaja

las cosas caen por su propio peso

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slguy says on Apr 15, 2008, 07:06:

slguy,

Weren't you the one trash talking me for spending on my Colombiana about 8 mo. ago?

I don't recall the thread....but if I was being doubtful, it was prolly circumstantial, not general. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I've been cynical about a relationship that didn't have a red flag or two waving...

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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miamimike says on Apr 15, 2008, 09:30:

Azul-You would need to talk with a good Col Attorney, maybe it could be published and if the Father doesn't show up it would be automatic like divorces are, that is something for an Attorney but is is an issue that should be resolved before because these Deadbeat Dads crawl out of the woodwork when they smell a Gringo's money...all of a sudden they become "Concerned Fathers",,,LOL

Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte después Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte de

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kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Apr 15, 2008, 13:01:

miamimike says on Apr 15, 2008, 16:50:

Ryan, reread my post-it has all to do with the Situation BEFORE as far as resolving any issues with the child's Father, so your post is confusing as it pertains to after,,,

Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte después Bésame, bésame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La última vez Bésame, bésame mucho Que tengo miedo a perderte Perderte de

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