perception of single mothers

gringoloid says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:04:

Send a picture of the woman and I'll let you know her chances.

Rubito says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:07:

It's even harder in Colombia to get a new situation going as a girl with a kid. No man wants to raise someone else's kid. Well, a few do :P

---Violence is the price of freedom.---

christobeldawg says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:29:

I kept hearing, while in Colombia, that the Colombian guys don't want to marry a woman with a child. I believe these single moms have a harder time there than women in similar situations in the US.

admittedly, arriving can feel great too

Frank Rizzo says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:47:

Much harder.....as that there are tons of younger ones w/o kids and most guys really don't look at mommies as a first choice....they are way down the food chain, no matter how good looking.

webmanco says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:50:

Maybe not a new man but it will be harder to find the right man.

But, I'm going to start making some assumptions here.... Which means I might actually end up making an ass out of myself ..........Thu 04 17, 2008 11:34 am

guacharaca says on Apr 13, 2008, 19:57:

When dating in Colombia, it is difficult to ignore the following mathematical formula in reference to young single mothers.

Single mother (plus) no obvious employment (plus) not living in parent's home = hooker.

Catfish35 says on Apr 13, 2008, 20:51:

One point to look at also. A single mom in Colombia has a very large deck stacked against her going in. She knows this already if she is not brain dead. It is truly a shame that there are so many single moms that would make a great wife and so many single men that have appearance or other issues that would make great husbands/dads.
If the man could acknowledge that he has a ready to go family and accept that, and the woman can realize she is not going to land Brad Pitt or me, you may see geeky guys...well...like RAYYY walking down the street with a knock out woman on his arm and people saying man how did he get that and make such beautiful babies to boot!
And the woman just so happy to have a man to love her and accept the kids she washes his feet everyday when he comes home from emptying all those tiny little orange trash cans hanging every 10 or 15 feet on trees, poles, walls...etc.
BTW, I have yet to catch the gnomes that really do go around at night and empty all those damn things.

"I refuse to have a battle of intelligence with an unarmed person, therefore I will just speak as the simpleton you have come to love"

Lisa Zee says on Apr 13, 2008, 21:23:

It does`t seam a problem for PBHs.

eywed says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:06:

It really depends on the women as well. You see a very pretty women in Colombia with a child and she will have any more options than say an ugly women with a child.

Ay Hombe!!!!!

miamimike says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:19:

As many Colombianos say on that point( a women over 30 with kiddies) "Estan Listo Para La Iglesia" LOL

Amazing even here Miami at the Church I attend I (usually attend the Spanish Services for the Spanish ) and I observe many Latinas at Mass with their Kids but only maybe 20% are with a Man. Big problem here also, lots of single moms.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." GW Bush

Rubito says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:34:

Sometimes daddy just refuses to get his ass up on Sunday, or is evangelical, so be careful :P

---Violence is the price of freedom.---

miamimike says on Apr 13, 2008, 22:50:

Rubito--I avoid the ones with young Kiddies! LOL Mama didn't raise NO fool!

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." GW Bush

ietk says on Apr 14, 2008, 04:49:

It is kind of difficult to explain, but sometimes when you fall in love it really does not matter if the woman has kids or not, I remember I felt in love with a girl that got pregnant by her boyfriend only to see Him getting married when She was six months into the pregnancy, I ask Her to begin a relationship but She said no, I am still trying to figure that one out, that was a long time ago anyway, but the whole point of this is that sometimes love makes you do strange things.

cja says on Apr 14, 2008, 04:54:

Best answer: gringoloid says "Send a picture of the woman and I'll let you know her chances."

Natalie Paris is a single mom and I would be okay with raise her child as minor issue in my marriage with her.

Also, if you look at all the colombian online marriage agencies and dating sites that gringos connect to (colombiancupid.com), you will find lots of single moms looking "a good man"

Ryan619 says on Apr 14, 2008, 05:21:

Looks like I'll have to find myself a younger woman w/o a kid. :((

Dreaming of better days

MaFe says on Apr 14, 2008, 05:27:

I think gringloid is right! Je je!

My friend is a single mom here in the states...once a guy knows she has a kid..good bye!
I think in Colombia many men don't mind...just from what I saw....

"No comment" is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again." -Winston Churchill

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 06:25:

damn. I must have missed that class..

marriied twice. 1st wife already had 2 kids, 2nd had one. I have two of my own, for a total of 5 - and feel truly blessed.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 06:39:

God bless you slguy........that brings up another point though and I believe a very good Topic; what about the single fathers with children? All this trash talk about Men comming to Colombia to find women.....It is very difficult for a single dad, with kids to find a good woman "in the states".

"There's no time to panic"

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 06:49:

but I gotta admit...more than one child, but never married, is the kiss of death for me.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

gringoloid says on Apr 14, 2008, 07:20:

I was just kidding around...........................if a young woman has a couple of kids and wants to get married she should look for an older man that would be open to that.

lots of older men would love to have the young lady, kids included.

look at our own resident pbh senior citizen, goin_south...............i've met his future hot babe of of a wife and she has two level headed boys that would not interfere in the marriage.

it all depends on each individual case........

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 07:29:

I just addend a new topic for us single dads

"There's no time to panic"

kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 14, 2008, 07:48:

It is more likely that a gringo or foreigner married a Colombian woman with kids that a Colombian

A young Colombian woman and I mean a 20 something with a kid is more likely to find a Colombian guy but a guy to provided for her and her kids very difficult, you see a wealthy Colombian guy won't go near a professional middle class some will but very rare they rather will look for the single without kids, so we have the working class but he will rather go for the young , that's why you see on internet sites lots of women over the age of 30 and with kids looking for a foreigner because for them it is very difficult to find a partner here in Colombia if you have kids

while Foreigners Specially Gringos, British, Germans etc don't really care about it and this ladies know that apart from companionship they are being offered a better future and security for her and her kids.


There are some exceptions of course, if you look like a model and are very independent,professional , you won't be short of Colombian men, why? because they will know you can support your kids without his help, Many Colombian men don't like the idea of supporting some else kids. while for some foreigners this is not a problem.

MaFe says on Apr 14, 2008, 08:45:

Well put Kat!

"No comment" is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again." -Winston Churchill

jinksmiester says on Apr 14, 2008, 08:53:

I have heard of forien men wedding a colomian lady with childern and a dead beat dad who provides no support...but then comes into the picture when it comes to getting permission to bring the wife and child or childern to north america.That can be a concern when you must seek the fathers permission...ive been told of instances where permission will be granted by the father (after a bieng paid a huge sum of money)
complicates the issue...thats for sure

A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams

Frank Rizzo says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:00:

Kat's exactly right on this one.....!! Certain gringos are just dumb suckers.

morphus says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:09:

Colombian men prefer virgins. I myself would'nt marry a woman unless she is a virgin...forget about with kids! If I go with a single mother, she has to look really good and be low maintenance...usually go right to the house.

Mononoke28 says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:18:

In most situations you will find that the single mom is financially rasing her kid alone. The guy probably freaked out and jetter out of the picture instead of taking responsibility. So of course the new guys KNOWS that if he gets involved with a single mom, he's the one who will have to pull out the cash not only for her but for the kid as well. And most man don't want to do that.

Diana

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 09:59:

"So of course the new guys KNOWS that if he gets involved with a single mom, he's the one who will have to pull out the cash not only for her but for the kid as well. And most man don't want to do that."

I'll never "get" being SO damned worried about the economic costs. Why else have $, if not to care for the people we love?

sometimes my fellow men embarrass me.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

morphus says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:02:

My friend married a prepago with a kid. He does'nt mind spending. The kid call calls him "papa gringo".

kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:38:

O h how sweet slguy :))) and if true if you find the right woman the one that is going to make you happy why do you have to worry about THE ECONOMIC COST .. i think is when you get the wrong woman and for what i read sometimes on this forum many are not being lucky in that departmen

SiV says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:38:

Should call papa gringo sucker!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Mahatma Gandhi

kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:41:

why suckers? because he wants to provide a safe environment for his wife and kid, that's his choice and that is what makes him happy.


Sucker is all those losers that go to Colombia and sleep with prepagos and thinking they are god gift to women there, not knowing that really is not you who are a god gift is your wallet.

SiV says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:47:

I agree with your second statement, Kat, but come on! Marry a hooker!! with a kid!! and you're not a sucker!??

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Mahatma Gandhi

morphus says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:49:

Papa Gringo may be a sucker but he is getting some good lovin at night. The wife is a professional at pleasing men. Gringos used to pay her top dollar when she was in Cartagena.

caligula says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:50:

lol siv...

kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:52:

oh well Siv if Richard Gere did it in Pretty woman jejjeje

docwilliam says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:53:

Morphus, you just reminded me of my bestfriends brother, back in the States. When we were teenagers we used to watch him rolling in with different women all the time "a real papasita". Anyways, as we became adults we watched him marry three different strippers and was married to one when he died (cycle accident). He always would laugh and tell us "the sex is good and the money even better". hahaha

"There's no time to panic"

mranderson says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:54:

slyguy are you kidding? For those that don't have a money tree growing in the back yard it's pretty easy to be worried about the economic cost.

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:54:

how is "sucker"' defined, exactly? by being secure enough emotionally to seize joy when it's availlable, no matter the opinions of others?

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

morphus says on Apr 14, 2008, 10:56:

If you marry a hooker just think of all the dirty, kinky things you can do with her without feeling guilty.

kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:00:

mranderson so you call all those men who support their families, suckers?

Ok sometimes their wife help but i have seen many families here were the woman stay at home with the kids specially when they are young, and actually this help him economically because if she goes back to work she has to be part time and maybe spend the money in childminders.

there is tons of families in this words who one of the parents stay at home..... are they suckers?

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:03:

morph makes a helluva point! jajaajaaja

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Frank Rizzo says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:10:

Certainly, there are some nice women with kids....it's just that ......why??

mranderson says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:16:

Kat1 I think you have me confused with someone else.

slguy says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:41:

"Certainly, there are some nice women with kids....it's just that ......why??"

maybe the better question is....why not?

unless it's just a money thing. if the financial responsibility is such a big deal, marriage is prolly a bad idea, period.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Frank Rizzo says on Apr 14, 2008, 11:47:

I hear ya SL.....it's not a money thing....just a personal choice........i'm not into taking on another guys kids........

Mononoke28 says on Apr 14, 2008, 12:39:

In Colombia is hard to meet a woman whose paycheck covers all her expenses and the kid's as well. With that said, it is obvious that whoever ends up dating her will have to be financially responsible for everybody. Most men don't want to do that.

I also don't think that the ones who do are "suckers", it's their choice and maybe they wanted to have an instant family all along, 2 for the price of 1. But many men don't want to take over the reponsibility and that's ok too. To each his own.

Diana

miamimike says on Apr 14, 2008, 15:31:

Any guy (foreign) considering such a Move should have the Colombian mother(provided the colombian father isn't paying child support--and most of them are NOT) go to a Col Attorney and get the Colombian father to sign off ANY parental rights to the Child so he can never pop back into the Child's life making monetary demands of the Gringo New Husband and father. You want a clean slate and if you cannot get the Deadbeat dad to sign his rights away, forget it ; even if you as the prospective new Father have to flip him a Grand $$ or so to get his signature, its worth it knowing he is out of the child's life forever and can never come and hit you for Money and make life miserable. This happened to more then a few people I know and they regret not having such a Pre-Marital agreement. They are both divorced now from their Col Wives, the Problem was that grave,,,

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." GW Bush

jinksmiester says on Apr 14, 2008, 17:40:

Good advice mike ..

A man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams

deathnova says on Apr 14, 2008, 18:37:

slguy,

Weren't you the one trash talking me for spending on my Colombiana about 8 mo. ago?

mranderson says on Apr 14, 2008, 19:40:

"mranderson so you call all those men who support their families, suckers?"

Kat1 can you please explain how you came to this conclusion?

Azul says on Apr 15, 2008, 06:33:

Excellent point Mike! But what happens when the father is out of the picture completely like so many fathers are? I know one guy who split to another city when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. If she ever wanted to apply for a visa for herself and her baby, she could probably track down the father but would she really need to? Obviously there must be legal roadblocks in place to stop mothers from taking kids out of Colombia without the fathers permission....right?
....and morphus, Colombianos prefer virgins huh?...I should have know you'd say that! jajajaja

gringoloid says on Apr 15, 2008, 06:55:

To each his own, but I don't see what the attraction is to married life for a man.

I just spent 10 months living with the most wonderful colombiana there is and it was the most boring time of my life.

Boy am I glad i was never married.

Could you guys tell me what is so great about marriage?

slguy says on Apr 15, 2008, 07:06:

slguy,

Weren't you the one trash talking me for spending on my Colombiana about 8 mo. ago?

I don't recall the thread....but if I was being doubtful, it was prolly circumstantial, not general. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I've been cynical about a relationship that didn't have a red flag or two waving...

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

Frank Rizzo says on Apr 15, 2008, 08:44:

I think you have to be very careful what you spend on anyone in Colombia... doesn't matter how much money you have....

miamimike says on Apr 15, 2008, 09:30:

Azul-You would need to talk with a good Col Attorney, maybe it could be published and if the Father doesn't show up it would be automatic like divorces are, that is something for an Attorney but is is an issue that should be resolved before because these Deadbeat Dads crawl out of the woodwork when they smell a Gringo's money...all of a sudden they become "Concerned Fathers",,,LOL

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." GW Bush

morphus says on Apr 15, 2008, 09:50:

If you are spending more than 50,000 COP a day in Colombia, you are a drunken, drug crazed whore monger.

kat1 (Moderator) says on Apr 15, 2008, 13:01:

common morphus 50,000 is nothing, a hamburger in el corral with milkshake and chips is just maybe 30.000 so you are left with 20.000 I can spend 20.000 in a second jejjeje
t

Ryan619 says on Apr 15, 2008, 15:46:

Hey Mike, Are you able to tailor your marital agreement so that if your wife stops doing what she used to do, gains 50lbs, or looses a leg (Ja) you can get the marrage annulled (In CO)? And what if she moves to the states (for example), is there some type of thing that would make it so that she doesn't get her citizenship after 2 years if you get an annulment. Lets say somehow this girl just pulls some BS saying "Papi te quiero". I met this one guy in Colombia that had that happen to him from this Brazilian girl. He took her back to the states and the sex was great for 2 years. I guess after that she showed her true colors and they got divorced. He was a rich white guy that apparently still pays this girl alimony (Now thats a sucker). :((

Dreaming of better days

miamimike says on Apr 15, 2008, 16:50:

Ryan, reread my post-it has all to do with the Situation BEFORE as far as resolving any issues with the child's Father, so your post is confusing as it pertains to after,,,

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." GW Bush