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Pasty Gringo or Tanned Gringo?

OK guys! what do colombians prefer? pasty or tanned gringo? Should I bother sunbathing before I head out there or just go as I am..pasty and 'orrible?

By gringolondinense on May 3, 2007, 03:31 in Friendly Talkzone.

morphus says on May 3, 2007, 03:33:

Ha ha, just paste a 50 mil note on your forehead.

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gringolondinense says on May 3, 2007, 03:40:

i could get a special t-shirt printed up with a the words "IM BIG AND CIRCUMCISED" on the front :-)

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lasvegasguy says on May 3, 2007, 04:19:

hey man WHITE GUYS have bigger dicks than the average latino.

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scotty says on May 3, 2007, 04:30:

it doesnt really matter i have seen latinas who prefer whiter guys and yet others prefer a tanned guy, and yet others could care less.
but you said you were not only pasty but horrible. im not sure what that means horrible?

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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gringolondinense says on May 3, 2007, 04:37:

horrible means ugly ahha! well some days i feel like im ok looking. Other days like today i feel like a piece of crap ahh!!

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JMCana says on May 3, 2007, 04:40:

Feel comfortable with yourself What do you want to be?

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Cerealkiller says on May 3, 2007, 04:45:

GringoLondinense, if you are the kind of person whose tan is not really a tan but more of a lobster-ish red complexion (like me) then stay pasty. If on the other hand, you can actually get tanned tanned then go for it. Nothing sexier than a healthy looking tan.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives -John Stuart Mill

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elmodefoque says on May 3, 2007, 05:14:

PASTY ALL THE WAY!!!!!!
Take PASTY ALL THE WAY!!!!!!
Take it from me I know. YOu have no idea how many times i'm told to stay away from the sun, my golden copper tan is not attractive in colombia.
Ask the colombianas here and they'll tell you

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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Man Tequila says on May 3, 2007, 08:10:

A gringo is a lot like a Pop Tart. They might not have these "toaster pastries" in England -- a pasty rectangle of pale dough filled with jam and covered with icing and sprinkles on one side. After putting it in the toaster, a Pop Tart becomes marginally less pasty looking. The analogy works well for the Gringo In Colombia, since:

- Many gringos in Colombia are full of jam
- Colombians view the gringo as pasty, despite a half-assed tan
- Pop Tarts are horrible
- Not all Pop Tarts are the same, some are cherry or chocolate chip
- Colombianas only see the side with the icing

Aunque no me creas/ si me lo propongo/ lograre olvidarte/ porque a fin de cuentas/ no soy tan cobarde./ Y termino todo una de estas tardes/ no sera dificil buscar algún sitio donde refugiarme/ donde nunca mas vuelvas a encontrarme. (Polo Montañez)

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Desideria (Moderator) says on May 3, 2007, 08:17:

Some Colombianas I know actually prefer the pink, piggy gringo. They say that it's like showing your true colors...

Cheers,
Desi

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe
they are free." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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gringolondinense says on May 3, 2007, 08:20:

Tequila we do have pop tarts here in england. The're called the Spice Girls ;-)

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elmodefoque says on May 3, 2007, 08:27:

"colombianas and there pink, piggy gringo" that reminds me, where the hell is Kat?

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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webmanco says on May 3, 2007, 08:32:

And Monpirry Both got lost at the same time. El que menos corre vuela!!! :-)

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Lisa Zee says on May 3, 2007, 08:34:

I like my man TANED No pink skin for me, I like white boys, but NOT so white that they turn pink in the sun. Nothing more striking that light hair, blue eyes and a golden tan.
Tan is very sexy, specially when it is all over.... (no tan lines please!), go to a nude beach!
Do they have nude beaches in Colombia? (I can`t ask my family that!)
Well I am done with breakfast. Later.

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Desideria (Moderator) says on May 3, 2007, 08:55:

Just think tinto all those gorgeous colombianas with a natural tan, black hair down their waist, sparkling blue or misty green eyes and LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGG legs, descendants of the Viking dads and guajiro mums....

You know that I had to google ole and lena to find out what you meant by those jokes? We tell norwegian jokes.

(I'm one of them pinkos too...)

Cheers,
Desi

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe
they are free." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Man Tequila says on May 3, 2007, 09:26:

And to think Rubito wanted a sunburn contest, jajaja. I am not the toastiest of Pop Tarts, but I could take Rubito like Elmo's barranquilla bodyguard. The yellow was probably just your liver telling you to back off. ;)

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webmanco says on May 3, 2007, 09:28:

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Robert Jorge says on May 3, 2007, 10:07:

Is that Bill Clinton webmanco? Those are some white legs. My wife told her mom a month ago, "Here in Destin, when it is cool, there are whites, but when it is warm, everybody is red."

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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webmanco says on May 3, 2007, 10:18:

Good eye, I will have to tell Bill to change his disguise when in Rodadero.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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webmanco says on May 3, 2007, 10:37:

As I tell people when critizicing everything, Pobre Humanidad

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Robert Jorge says on May 3, 2007, 11:19:

That really might be Clinton. It looks like him, and that chick looks like his kind of woman. Ol' Billy has been known to travel for a little action.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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Robert Jorge says on May 3, 2007, 11:21:

The only way to know for sure if that is Clinton, is to find out if there is a McDonalds close to that area. No McDonalds, it's a Clinton impostor.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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miamimike says on May 3, 2007, 11:35:

That Guy With the White Legs More Easily could pass for Karl Rove or Ex-speaker Dennis Hastert,,,LOL

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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scotty says on May 3, 2007, 13:20:

Clinton yea that guy looks very much like Clinton and the girl could pass for Monica.

poor Clinton his legacy is one of lies. everytime i think Clinton i think of.
1.Monica
2.cigar
3.looking into camera wagging finger saying "i did not have sex with that woman"
4.McDonalds

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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andrew24 says on May 3, 2007, 14:20:

eh? I get everything else but what does Clinton have to do with McDonalds?

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. Mark Twain

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miamimike says on May 3, 2007, 19:29:

Take Fatty 4 eyes Hastert or His Counterpart Karl Rove and flip them on that Beach for a few hours and you could confuse either with a 1)Beached Whales or 2) Giant Red Boiled Lobsters,,,LOL

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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tannedincali says on May 3, 2007, 19:43:

I born tanned :P I think my novia likes that

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Robert Jorge says on May 3, 2007, 21:10:

Hey Andrew. Clinton was notorious for consuming vast quantities of McDonalds food. In Clinton's early years as President, there were actually Saturday Night Live skits based on Clinton's eating habits at McDonalds. He was known to go for a jog so the press could record his healthy habits, and then sneak into a Washington DC McDonalds with the Secret Service in tow and get a fix of Big Macs - while on his healthy jog. He got "outed" once finally by the press, and that is why it is / was a big joke.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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miamimike says on May 4, 2007, 01:41:

The Ladies In Colombia Are Still talking about Guapo Bill Clinton. Seem he made quite the impression on them,,,I doubt they will ever forget his Presidental Visit! Bill has it going on,,,LOL

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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elmodefoque says on May 4, 2007, 04:52:

Let me narrow it down.
Medellin, Cali, Pereira, Bogota, Villavain etc. PASTY is the color of choice.
North Barranquilla, semi Pasty is OK
South Barranquilla, New York City, you better get yourself a deep, deep, very very dark tan and some rhythm and soul or your ass is gonna be in a hotel all alone choking the chicken

hey!!!! what's with this picking on cliton, the best president you guys ever had???

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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gringolondinense says on May 4, 2007, 05:53:

McDonalds and Guapo Bill??? whats the link there? I must have missed that scandal.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on May 4, 2007, 08:43:

I don't like piggy gringos, lobters or leathery looking tan, i prefer that you all keep it real. white and simple :))

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Man Tequila says on May 4, 2007, 10:09:

How come eating at McDonald's qualifies as a scandal, but having your buddies make hundreds of millions of dollars through war profiteering is not? Most white guys don't have a problem keeping it simple. ;)

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mecca says on May 4, 2007, 10:25:

Interesting "Most white guys don't have a problem keeping it simple. ;)" Quote by Man Tequila.....ummmmm

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elmodefoque says on May 4, 2007, 10:50:

Yesterday after work I found myself observing something quite interesting. I was standing outside a smoke shop having just ordered a salami and cheese hero from the Arab guys.
As I waited outside with my daughter and her little bitch (Sasha) I just call her doggie, all kinds of people were walking up and down Broadway, and I mean all kinds of people from every corner of the fokin planet. Standing about 5 feet from us were 3 young Albanians, Rumanians, or Kosovo, not sure what rock they crawled from under but they had that very eastern European look, tight jeans, tight shirt with collar flipped like Elvis, hairy chest adorned with a gold chain.
Ever modefoque out there was salivating over my daughter including those Romanian guys. These guys are the type colombianas would go nuts for and in no time would have their panties half way down their legs. They did everything possible to try and get my daughter’s attention; I was watching the whole thing. I’m sure they thought one look at them and she was all theirs.
Well le me tell ya, my daughter looked at them like they were pieces of discarded MacDonald's hamburger wrappers. Finally those guys walked away disappointed, after ten minutes of trying to get her attention.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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scotty says on May 4, 2007, 14:27:

MM I was in Colombia at the same time Clinton was there. He was to chicken to travel to Bogota so he hungout in Caregena for a few hours then flew out. While he was there i was walking down the street in Cali and the streets were full of people demonstrating against Clinton, those people didnt seem to be to happy with him. It was an interesting demonstration until the tear gas started then everyone ran like hell for cover.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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scotty says on May 4, 2007, 14:29:

MT stop talking about Hillery that way, she earned all that money fair and square.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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scotty says on May 4, 2007, 14:32:

elmo were those guys three "WILD AND CRAZY GUYS"? remember Saturday night skit? thats what that remeinds me of.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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Robert Jorge says on May 4, 2007, 19:52:

Man Tequila, I wasn't trying to start something political - and certainly never referred to Clinton's love of McDonalds as a "scandal". It was funny, and people gave him a ribbing for it. As much as I loath Clinton and her husband, I have to hand it to him that he had a sense of humor and probably got a laugh out of those old McDonald's skits on SNL. Ahh, I just read Gringolondon used the word "scandal". Sorry Man T, I thought you had directed that at me.

BEWARE of gold diggers.

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Man Tequila says on May 4, 2007, 23:00:

I'm no fan of either Clinton or the Bushes. I'd like to see an American politician who is not beholden to special interests on the left or the right -- ain't gonna happen. From a Canadian perspective, much is made of the differences between the Dems and Reps, but the differences are relatively small compared to the spectrum of parties in many other countries. Neither Clinton or the Bushes seem to have a lot of moral integrity.

I just don't like to see threads hijacked with this partisan stuff.

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elreydelostrolls says on May 4, 2007, 23:03:

How can you tell when a politician is lying? His/her lips are moving. Canadian politicians are like politicians everywhere. Liars.

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Man Tequila says on May 4, 2007, 23:10:

Don't like the Canadian politicians either. Corrupt bastards. But everything in Canada is on a smaller scale than the States.

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scotty says on May 5, 2007, 04:26:

well lets face it polititions in general all over the world are corrupt, liars, and owned by the lobbiest. It doesnt matter if they are republican, democrat, communist, dictator, doesnt matter what country they are from, they cant be trusted to really do whats best for the people.

Get Rhythm, when you got the blues. Johnny Cash

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morphus says on May 5, 2007, 06:10:

Pasty Gringos We still manage to get some color. Even the guy with the red hair :)

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kernow62 says on May 5, 2007, 11:12:

Who are the gay boys?
Who are the gay boys?

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morphus says on May 5, 2007, 11:19:

Why, are looking to get your stool pushed in? ha ha!

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Man Tequila says on May 5, 2007, 11:44:

(This joke is not PC. Skip it if so inclined. It's a joke, not a very funny one at that.)

A gay guy goes to his doctor. "I'm really depressed. What can I do?" The doctor tells him "What you need to do is to go to Colombia. Really live it up! Party all the time, eat lots of their great raw fruits and vegetables, drink lots of aguardiente and biche, try some of the tasty street food like butifarra." Gay guy goes "Do you think that's going to make me feel better?" Doctor goes "Probably. And it might also teach you what your asshole is for."

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kalder says on May 5, 2007, 11:53:

I told that joke to an Italian girlfriend once. My delivery was a little weak: I had to relate it slowly so she'd understand me. When I finished, she looked at me blankly. Then, as her brain finished translating it into Italian...she started to laugh. And laugh hard. Almost to the point of having to change her underwear.

It's cruel but muy chistoso.

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

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morphus says on May 5, 2007, 12:00:

From a biological point of view it is unhealthy to stick anything in your anus. Thats what my biology teacher said...lol

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kernow62 says on May 5, 2007, 12:12:

Good one Morphus, old but good.

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Man Tequila says on May 5, 2007, 13:13:

I'm going to have to learn to tell that joke in Spanish. Hmm. Anyone want to correct my medicore spanish? (Apart from flipped ?!s)

Un marica va al médico. "Estoy deprimido. Qué puedo hacer?" El médico le dice "Vaya a Colombia! Vaya rumbear! Coma las verduras y las frutas crudas. Qué buenas son las frutas en Colombia! Beba aguardiente y biche. Probe las comidas de la calle -- butifarras y aborrajados." El mariposo dice "Y me sentaré mejor?". El médico dice, "Quizás. Y quizás aprenderá para qué serve su pendejo."

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webmanco says on May 5, 2007, 13:34:

What is the meaning of biche here?? y me sentiré mejor? instead of Y me sentaré mejor?"

Y quizás aprenderá para que le sirve el trasero, instead of YY quizás aprenderá para qué serve su pendejo."

pruebe la comida de la calle, instead of Probe las comidas de la calle

What is the meaning of biche here??

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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Desideria (Moderator) says on May 5, 2007, 13:51:

birra? (just a wild guess)
Cheers,
Desi

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe
they are free." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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Buongone says on May 5, 2007, 13:59:

Yo Morph In that last picure. That guy on the far right. What'd he do? Piss his pants, or is that pre-crema?

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morphus says on May 5, 2007, 14:57:

Vagina juice...he just had sex with a Colombiana. Who do you think took the picture?

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Man Tequila says on May 5, 2007, 18:50:

You never tried biche? It's an alcoholic drink made by the afro-colombians out of unripe sugar cane. Gave me the trots.

Thanks for the corrections, webmanco. I'm usually a bit better with the zapatos.

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Man Tequila says on May 5, 2007, 18:51:

What, he doesn't take his shorts off? Tell the truth. It's pow wow and the Colombiana made him sleep on the wet spot. ;)

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mecca says on May 5, 2007, 19:50:

That's why he's never tried it MT..

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Man Tequila says on May 5, 2007, 20:39:

Hahahahaha. High five.
Hahahahaha. High five.

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miamimike says on May 5, 2007, 21:21:

Scotty-Here's A red State Republican Update for Ya! LOL With Jacky Broyles and Dunlap! LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnPotftGmGA/a

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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