ok...let's hear from the ladies now.......

caslug says on Dec 6, 2004, 17:48:

GO FOR IT!!!... if CP can date young hottie why can't a older COL gal date some young (hottie) foreigner? SO go for it, and report back to the board how the locals view it. I don't think the local guys will care, now the young local girls might be pissed that some old gal is grabbing a hot commodity off the market. Unless of course you happen to "date" both young & old. :-)

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mad_lion says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:08:

I can tell you........ the reaction from her family was NOT GOOD!

She talked about me soo much, and how happy she was to have met me. When she finally mentioned that I was 18 years her junior...they hit the ceiling with anger!

Here are some facts:

She has a daughter who is only 4 years younger than I.
She never married her daughter's father...
She has never dated anyone my age before.

her daugther was ver happy for her mom however. She (her daughter)was even proud of the fact that her mom is dating someone very energetic and young.

Her parents, brothers and sisters were furious, and she ended up in a family argument about me already. Her friends just plain give her negative advice on how "It will never work".

I know that many men here in their 50's date young girls in tehir 20's - but why is that more accepted than a woman dating a young guy?

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caslug says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:16:

don't let the family stop you.. from dating her and if something develops more seriously than fine. Maybe the family thinks that you'll "dumped" for someone younger when YOU get older. Sounds like they're judging you by what THEY (brother, father) would do.

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Save the Wildcats says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:22:

..... nt

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:24:

GO FOR IT! Mad Lion: Hola y besitos a ti mi amor!

I say "GO FOR IT!"

I can't give much advice here as I am not Colombian, but I am chuckling, because ... (the truth comes out ...) I was dating a 26 year old Colombian guy for a while. (I am almost 40!).

Anyway ... I think that perhaps people are telling her what they told me, not so encouraging things such as, "He is just curious." or "He just wants to hit it and go..." blahblah, you know the drill.

And we older women have that reputation for being so at home inour bodies: we've done it all, like most of it and aren't shy about it - so of course many young guys, like yourself, get drawn to older women. Some out of love, some out of sexual curiosity, and some out of both.

Perhaps they are simply trying to protect her from what thye think it s "reto"... I don't know.

But, if you are sincere about her, hang in there and be sure to let her know that you are sincere.

Older women do not tend to want to give the benefit of the doubt to youngsters ... the woman tends to dump him before he can dump her.

Just my humble opinion.

ENJOY! GOOD LUCK! I WISH YOU ALLLLLLLLLL THE BEST!

(and I thought that you didn't write back BECAUSE I told you that I was 40! Maybe I am too young and I should have written "50" - JA JA JA!)

Still a fan!!
-- La Reina

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mad_lion says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:24:

ok.... ................

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:29:

Why they don't say that ...
Ok, in a nutshell - older men with the cash are happy to pay for love. The women need their sugar daddies, and get addicted to the luxuries.

Older women date younger men for a variety of reasons, but the men tend to dump the women some times because the women is too old to have children, for example. Also, she could be seen as "wasting" her last fertile years with someone who may leave her once the "passing fancy" fades.

I don't agree with this, but it seems to be true at least half of the time. I would say.

Maybe you need to send them an article about Demi Moore and Ashton whatever his name is.


GOOD LUCK MIJO! xxx La Reina

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Lauthra says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:32:

I think I have never seen a couple with an older woman and a younger guy,
and I think they aren't as common as young girl/old bloke, simply becasue men hardly ever seek someone older, it's not a common taste so to speak. I did see a documentary about it, and there was this guy who had been with his wife for about 25 years, and she was already late 70's and he was late 50's, apparently he was still very much in love, even though she looked like her senile mum.

Of course cases are very rare, and who can really say what will happen in 15 years time when she's 60 and you're 42... the difference will be more obvious.

Nato
www.theburrow.co.uk

Nato (='.'=)

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caslug says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:34:

remember the old saying... love is blind.. love doesn't care how you look(young, old, ugly, hot, etc.,)

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Dec 6, 2004, 18:34:

www.agelesslove.com is a good message board for related issues; maybe someone there has lived through it and can give you the advice that you need. Good luck again!

-- la reina

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gringa-colombiana says on Dec 7, 2004, 09:55:

In my opinion, Colombia is a chauvinistic society in which males are seen as superior. This creates the idea that women are damsels in distress in need of a man to provided security. Therefore, it is acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman because he is providing the security she is incapable of having alone.

If the man is younger than the women, he no longer will provide the safe haven, because the older women is just as stronger and knowledgeable as that man which is why it is unacceptable in Colombian society.

My brother's wife is 14 years older than him. My parents didn't oppose the dating situation because they thought he would eventually move on, but then he proposed and the entire family tried to explain to him how he was making a mistake. Well, now that we all look back what we thought was a mistake is probably the best thing that could have happened to him.

Everyone is different so what work for one may not work for another. Societies view for me is perfect because I like to be the damsel in distress to an extent. I find security in my fiancee since he is a foot taller and smarter I feel safe.

Anywayz...relationships in which the man is younger are very possible although society will impose the idea that they are not.

M_L, post the pic. :)

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ReinaDeLa Baile says on Dec 7, 2004, 11:11:

thak you for telling your brother's story ... now I do not feel SO bad as a cradle robber. Besos amiga! cuidate mucho, la Reina

p.s. ML - Hopefully, your novia's family will eventually feel like Gringa-colombiana's -- that you were the best thing that happened to her!

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mad_lion says on Dec 7, 2004, 11:14:

well...maybe The whole thing is stressing me out a bit...not to mention that I find myself in the receiving end of latina jealousy often by her.

I will take things one step at a time. It certainly is not a relationship that has evolved into wedding bells for us in the near future, but I am taking it sloooowly and day-by-day. I'm still young ;-)

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Dec 7, 2004, 13:03:

damsel in distress I'll have to think that one over....sound cozy:)
It's ok for older women to marry younger men, as long as the age difference is tolerable (5-10 years, in most cases would seem tolerable to me), especially for a second marriage when the woman does not need to produce more babies.
A friend married to a younger guy says her man bores her to death with his lack of conversation. Another one also married to a younger man has started to behave like a fluffy teenager again...and finally, one more friend, married to a younger man (only about 5 years younger) seems to be quite happy with her man.
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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gringa-colombiana says on Dec 7, 2004, 13:14:

Just wondering.... Desi, you made the comment, "I'll have to think that one over...sounds cozy. :)" in regards to is the comment? Just wondering. Thanks

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Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Dec 7, 2004, 13:19:

your comment, of course gringa meaning it sounds nice and comfortable to be a damsel in distress. To have a man to protect you, pamper you, see to your necessities, make the decisions for you too...I see a definite advantage in it, now that I think about it. It's a pity my upbringing has been too focused on equality: old ideas die hard.
Cheers,
Desi

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

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gringa-colombiana says on Dec 7, 2004, 13:25:

M_L, try not to stress, people will always find a flaw in something. If you were her age or older, then her family would probably find something else to talk about. No one is perfect and you can't please the world, so don't let the bad comments bother you.

"Nadie es perfecto hasta que te enamoras de ella." -I don't know where I have here this quote, but I think it's very true.

Reina, rock away! lol :)

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Lionheart says on Dec 7, 2004, 13:35:

desi, gringa Almost all women I have talked to in Colombia want that kind of man. The old-fashioned king of the jungle, to protect, to provide, to pamper, to spoil, to take care of worldly matters, to make the decisions ... that is what they desire.

I have a friend in the US who has found all that in a younger man, around 10 years younger I believe, and he is a very succesful lawyer/politician. He treats her as his queen. I think if the younger man has a very dominant personality his relationship would be more accepted in Colombia than one being a submissive puppy dog.

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gringa-colombiana says on Dec 7, 2004, 13:41:

Desi, I know what you mean about old idea die fast. I am all for equality etc. etc. , but I know my limitations. As a chick getting her B.S. in engineering I have dealt with many discriminating comments. Instead of fighting I simple show them I am just as capable.

Damsel in distress is a really cozy idea as long as it doesn't go overboard. I have my own mind and love to use, but there are somethings that although I could do I rather not. I am equal to my fiancee, but different. So I can cook and clean, but he needs to clean the yard...etc...etc Lol

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gringa-colombiana says on Dec 7, 2004, 15:06:

Lionheart, yes in Colombia you will find many women that like to be the damsel in distress. I have a very difficult time getting along with Colombian females because I feel they over do it. Some act as if they don't have a mind and they must depend on their family or a man. As a chick I feel I am more emotional than a man, but not a cry baby. Most chicks in Colombia whine and cry about everything and anything, frankly it gets boring. I am the damsel in distress with my fiancee, but other than that there is no need for it.

I agree with the comment that if a younger man had a more dominating personality it would be more acceptable in Colombia. The deal is that not all women like to be the damsel in distress so depending on the circumstances that man may not be able to be perceived as the sweet puppy dog. Basically, there has to be a place where to draw the line like in any relationship and forget about what everyone else thinks.

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Lionheart says on Dec 7, 2004, 15:36:

cry-baby - just the word I needed gringa, I know exactly what you mean, I have encountered these women. After getting to know each other a moment happens, they literally fall on their knees and beg for me to come to them immediately and take care of them. Once thay happens the communication get awkward, in every conversation they keep on whining to me ... why don't you come now? do you love me? I need you here with me? and so on ... it comes to a point where I just have nothing more to say.

Most of these women have been in longer relationships, married, separated, divorced ... I thought to myself, no wonder the men ran away, I would go nuts dealing with a whining cry-baby day and night in person.

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