OH DEAR !!!!!!!!

manINred says on Mar 8, 2007, 10:35:

Oh man I empathize The fact that he emphasizes 'free' sex means he probably pays, trust me.

Colombian women are NOT attracted to ugly, overweight, disgusting, arrogant and obnoxious Americans like the one you described. Poor hooker who has to deal with him, perhaps she'll suffocate and he'll get charged with murder jeje.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

webmanco says on Mar 8, 2007, 10:55:

I could be the guy who posts from Cali. What is his login name? Just joking.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 8, 2007, 11:05:

i wonder if he is from PBH uhm....

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 8, 2007, 12:32:

kat, todavia te caigo bien gordo??

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

Desideria (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 8, 2007, 13:04:

I can think of a few PBH people who'd probably fit the description...haha

Cheers,
Desi


"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe
they are free." —Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

"When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"(First Witch in Macbeth)

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 8, 2007, 13:15:

Two things, I think his wife married him for the green card, and she accept his behaviour cuz she wants him as far as possible from her, so she can avoid sex with him.

And I think is appalling he said that about cali women, knowing his wife is from there, you can see the lack of respect in the relationship from both parts.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 8, 2007, 13:34:

What was this abnoxious american wearing? Let me guess.. uuhhhmmm, thinking, thinking, got it: cheap white trainers (sneakers), blue 'walmart' jeans, a white t-shirt or woolie top, carrying a camara? I think I have seen him lots of times in Central London, not looking for women cos they sure aint f**cking free here... I think he was looking for Leicester Sq... I sent him to Grovernor Square instead (where the American embassy is) and where he belongs,

"never take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway"

0 funny, 0 helpful.

CaptainHowdy says on Mar 8, 2007, 17:28:

More on obnoxious dude He sounds like he'd be wearing several gold chains and have his shirt at least halfway unbuttoned. And let's not forget the golf shoes, either!!! LOL

Teaching preteens the things they need to know!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

adrimm (☼Travelguide writer) says on Mar 8, 2007, 19:42:

gringolondinense says on Mar 9, 2007, 06:01:

i was in a similar situation once.... i was sitting on the bus, about halfway along. Suddenly, the bus sways to one side. Then I hear an american accent. A "man" in a Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, white socks and trainers, sweating profusely and talking really loudly is trying to get up the 3 stairs of the bus. Hes grabbing the rails and huffing and puffing. He can barely get on the bus. Once he's finally on, he has to squeeze sideways and wedge himself into a seat, just behind me. He starts saying things like "oh mannn the women here are sluts. You can do whatever you like here...even roll around in the street if you want..." blah blah. So I get up and move to the front of the bus.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 06:12:

If some women there were not selling their soul for a few bucks they wouldn't have this reputation


donde hay oferta, hay demanda

It takes two to tango

0 funny, 0 helpful.

utopiacowboy says on Mar 9, 2007, 06:27:

This reminds me of the classic gringo I met at the US embassy trying to get his very young "fiancee" a visa. He was paunchy, pasty and balding. He had to be in his late 50s or early 60s while she was in her young 20s. He kept talking to me in English and I would reply in Spanish. They had to come back to the embassy four times to get the visa but if it were me, I would never have given it to him if he had come back 500 times.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 06:39:

If I was employed at the embassy I made him to come 500 times but every appointment within a year interval, this way, his fiancee would be old enough and mature for him, if he is still around :)))

0 funny, 0 helpful.

gringolondinense says on Mar 9, 2007, 07:09:

i feel sorry for the decent American guys around, having to take crap on behalf of these retards lol

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:21:

I'm guessing you guys don't want to hear about the many extremely loud brits who sit in cafes here in BsAs, drowning everyone out in their loud nasal voices talking about their plans for the day, week, rest of their lives.

"oh, that's nothing Henry, WE saw the most divine theyatricaal presentation last night, you simply must go...blah blah blah"

I prefer the yanks myself.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

cali373 says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:26:

could be the guy who posts from Cali. Well it wasn't me, even though I wish I was in Cali. You think maybe his assigned seat was the one he chose to sit in? I mean most westerners do not like sitting near people so I harldy think that person purposely did that to bother you.

Smile if you are a thinker!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

cali373 says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:28:

"in a similar situation, I'm going to tell the guy I'm a Mormon or Mennonite missionary. That ought shut up chatty neighbors on the airplane."

Well maybe, but do you think it will shut up a Colombian? The can talk for hours.

Smile if you are a thinker!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

cali373 says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:31:

"AT THIS POINT IM THINKING, IS THIS THE ELMO CHARACTER FROM POOR BUT HAPPY." LOL!!!

I though elmo had a dark complexion?

Smile if you are a thinker!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:43:

I too was beginning to sense a bit of hostility from brits toward their gringo masters. Hey, I’m not claiming to be gringo, I’m just one of many, many millions of miserable spic immigrants to their land and very grateful to be given the chance to clean their fokin toilets.
We all know these crazy loud modefoques (gringos) rule the world which may cause a bit of jealousy. Hey, I’m envious of their incredible wealth and power too and don’t enjoy seeing Uribe jump hoops to entertain Bush. I m sure watching Bush drag around Blair like a well trained puppy is not too pleasant either
. Lets face it, right now we can’t’ do anything about it, the ball is in their court, they own the ball, the court, and every fokin thing around it including the fans,

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:52:

If there ever was a modefoque that looks Paraco or Guerrillero is me. I don’t look anything like a gringo. I’m as dark as Wesley Snipes which is the main reason why I can’t get free colombiana love juice. I have to pay 100 mil pesos and 35 mil to the house.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 10:55:

Spending all that money on hookers is still a LOT cheaper than having a colombian girlfriend.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

cali373 says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:01:

So it's confirmed. It was not elmo. LOL!!!

I have to tell my friends about you elmo.

Smile if you are a thinker!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:09:

you must be really feel bad now elmo, on PBH now it's open season on yanks and, as always, all things colombian.

I'll send you a canadian flag to sew on your backpack and a pin to wear and all your problems will be solved.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:12:

while we are all ranting what's with this complaining when someone puts their seat back? They are made to recline you know? The people in the seats just use them as intended, they didn't design the plane or decide how many seats to stuff in it.

If you feel that strongly about it you should maybe try to earn a few more pennies so you can stop flying in the cheap seats of cheap airlines.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:16:

I’m usually in places in Barranquilla where few gringos visit except for Miguel, Tone and Pedro, them is some crazy fearless gringo modefoques.
You will find me in these locations”
Plaza de Cerveza, in Murillo
Maria Mulata, in Murillo
La Troja
eating chicharron in Murillo con la 19
Juernes and other whore places. Sometimes we cruise around this small park in le barrio Boston looking for street hookers.
When not in any of those places then drinking beer in El Santuario, a low life barrio way, way down south.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

cali373 says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:25:

Coach flight: $534.00
First Coach flight: $534.00

First class: $1,646.20

Difference of $1112.20 or 111,220 pennies. THAT'S ALOT OF PENNIES!!!

Smile if you are a thinker!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:27:

Elmo Is it time for your medication.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:30:

pondboirski, since when do you know of any europeans flying first class. Grngos take up all those seats.
After months of cleaning the gringos crap I sometimes like to indulge so I stay in the best hotels of Cartagena and Barranquilla.
Though I see plenty of Europeans around in Cartagena I never see them in the hotels I stay such as the Hilton, Santa Clara, Almirante, Capilla etc. Most of the other guests are loud, torn jeans and dirty sneaker wearing gringos. Where the hell are the Europeans? I later found out they stay 5 to a room in El Pidiatro hotel and other hotels behind the main street (via San Martin) for 50 mil, meanwhile we’re paying 400 mil fokin barras a night.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:46:

pondboirski? that's the worst mispelling yet! Or is that a slag that I don't get? jaja. I suggest 'podblowhardski' instead.

I'm way too cheap to fly first class myself, but I sure don't complain about the guy in front of me for the cramped seats.

I actually quite enjoy when I have one of those jerks behind me who tries to stop me from reclining my seat by propping his knees up against it. Plane rides are boring so it's fun to listen to their exasperated grunts and sighs as I lean all my weight on the seat, and then I go out of my way to suddenly raise and lower it as fast as possible at meal time.

I'm pretty sure all these types are british. They are even more anal than us canadians, who of course are practically all close relatives.

So you don't want the canadian flag pin? I think it could spruce up your uniform, no? You just have to learn to say 'eh'.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:52:

I went to Montreal 30 years ago in the middle of April. It was nice spring weather in NYC so all I wore was a fokin little leather jacket, the same one Tony wore in Saturday Nighr Fever and platform shoes.
We got there and there was 6 fokin feet of snow, needles to say I froze my fokin chacaras (balls) NEVER WENT BACK, Nice metro.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 11:57:

kat, is time que me des un besito

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

manINred says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:02:

"I too was beginning to sense a bit of hostility from brits toward their gringo masters"

It's called phantom hostility.

Or perhaps the same hostility that exists from Colombians to their Ecuadorian masters, hehe!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:07:

Hey kat, let's meet in abbey road, there's gotta be a nice flat near there in one of those cold, dark, drafty hotels. All I need is 5 hours with you and a six pack of warm arab or indian beer.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:09:

hey rubio' we're having a few drinks after work on 38th and 8th

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:25:

manINred it's call envy :P

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:28:

kat, i also wanna say hi to elonar macrigby

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:32:

good night kat mi amor, te adoro, te quiero. sueño con ese momento cuando me digas que estas PREÑAA con mi bebe.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:32:

Elmo you start to sound like Elmo you are starting to sound like an old record *YAWN* Elmo, the girls that you date, don't they fall sleep as soon as you open your mouth? I would. :S


ya cambie el repertorio, que ese no esta funcionando mijo...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

elmodefoque says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:36:

Kat,i don't date, i pay hookers 100 mil and we never talk.

I'll get there, when I get there!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 12:40:

I bet they sleep while you doing all the action..... jejeje

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 13:20:

"Or perhaps the same hostility that exists from Colombians to their Ecuadorian masters, hehe!" you guys are jokers... Ecuadorian and Masters, surely that is a contradiction in terms. Have I meantioned my ugly girlfriend? the one I took to Ecuador and she was STILL ugly???

Anyway, as for the loud Brits in Buenos Aires - they must have been the chavs... they're loud, you sure they were talking about theatre? may be it was nightclub called the theatre...

Still waiting for the muffin-top season to begin, getting there - was really sunny yesterday but kinda windy today. Almost took a trip to Lakeside Shopping Centre (where a lot of muffin-tops hang out) to see if I could get a snap of a muffin-top to post it here... unfortunately, didn't have the time,

"despite the cost of living, it is still popular..."

0 funny, 0 helpful.

sandramoreno80 says on Mar 9, 2007, 13:33:

A bit of sun and some people here in the UK go crazy, it was only about 13/14 degrees yesterday in the London area but saw loads of people walking around in t-shirts, vest type tops with bare arms during my lunch break.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 13:35:

where about in London were where abouts in London were you Sandra?

I was in the City and pretty busy so I missed out on all the action...je je je

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 13:43:

...Americans being masters my ass...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

manINred says on Mar 9, 2007, 13:50:

hahah exactly, that's why i made the idiotic joking comment about ecuadorians being colombians' masters, since one poster decided to make a jibe at the brits.

by the way, canadians are still way more anal than the brits, I say this as both a canadian and a brit. canada has an anally retentive gov.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

sandramoreno80 says on Mar 9, 2007, 13:57:

I live in Surrey, work in Kingston-Upon-Thames, saw too much bare flesh yesterday I don't know I think I'm just too "friolenta". But yeah hope we have another great summer, though last year was pretty extreme.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 14:06:

I knew what you meant once I took the time to read the thread properly manINred... my apologies, it was a funny comment and I see the humour in it, at least it was not as ridiculous and as incredible as the 'american being masters', that was so ridiculous, it almost wasn't funny.

Whoever made that comment should read-up their history on the British empire... there wouldn't no america if it wasn't for Britain... (manINred, do you think I should include that last comment - bet that will really stir a few up!) nah, will leave it in cos this is a colombian webside - not many americans in 'ere, if they get touchy about it it will mean they are colombian sell-outs... I have been called that before in here you know,

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 14:11:

yes, last summer was pretty good. The year before I think was even more extreme, bit too much but good to see everyone showing a bit (or a lot) of flesh,

Surrey is lovely - have never been to Kingston but I have heard good things about it,

0 funny, 0 helpful.

manINred says on Mar 9, 2007, 14:13:

Keep the last comment! Hahaha pay no attention to people who put down your opinion.
I agree with you on most things anyway. I read something ridiculous today about Uribe being worse than Hitler that no one put down, so honestly, your comments shouldn't be put down either! If they are, who cares? It's all in good fun (for the most part) anyway.

And the loudest most obnoxious foreigners I've heard/seen certainly haven't been brits, I'll say that much, but I'm biased...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kalder says on Mar 9, 2007, 14:15:

Well guys, I'm going to stay well clear of all this nationalistic sniping.

I just can't help thinking that 'The Man On The Plane' could be me one day. Or you.

More probably me.

Oh Lor'!

"kalder- have you ever had a woman?"--Sam Salmon

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:12:

Thanks for the encouragement manINred. I also read that comment on Uribe/Hitler today somewhere... I thought it best not to even bother,

Yeah - can't think of a Dutch babe, there has got to be one surely?

Well, put it this way: americans should count their lucky stars that the 'dominent influence' was neither spanish nor mexican. Why? well, just take a look at the mess the spanish left in the rest of the American continent, what savages. As for the mexican, well the good old US of A would still be a third-world country if they had anything to do with it... there would be no american dollar, no economy today and no f**ker would want a green card.

The french and the dutch were not strong enough to leave their mark anywhere really so hard to make a judgement. The Brits however left well-established and organised communities: Australia, New Zeland etc...

I agree with you manINred, I do not think the Brits are loud tourists. the spanish, americans, even colombians are louder - I think.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:20:

last summer was nice? both days?

sorry, my last smart aleck remark before calling it a night. Have to get to bed early so I can be at the airport at 6 am (!) to collect a long awaited ´package´ from Colombia.

Enough of these stuck up argies for me!

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:21:

brits are more anal a canadian expat I know who lived in London a while said the neighbours got pissed when he washed his car, because it was a sunday.

Now that's anal.

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:30:

the neighbour got pissed maybe about something else, cuz everybody in the UK wash their car, lawn the grass do DIY on sundays.

I love living in the UK and I love living in Europe, I love being able to jump in an airplane and just one hour away i am in a different country, different language, customs, food, and history.
although Europe it's an small continent it has so much variety.

And I love the pound being so strong!
and i love that £1 is nearly $2dollars jijij

0 funny, 0 helpful.

eastended says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:36:

Long live the GBP! don't want no euros here...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

kat1 (Moderator) (Trustee board) says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:40:

I agree eastended no way, no euros here....

0 funny, 0 helpful.

podborski says on Mar 9, 2007, 15:47:

well if I can't blame my own anal retentiveness on my british heritage, who can I blame?

BTW, I quite like Britain and most brits. I even ate frog in the hole once. Plus, I still have relatives in Bradford. But they aren't the hoity toity types I see(and hear) around here (BsAS, not PBH) all the time.

The most embarassing tourists I ever saw were a bunch of french canadians on a cheap package tour to the caribbean. At least the yanks wear good quality loud plaid jackets, but not these guys. One guy was videotaping the sad lunch buffet and yelling out all the items to his wife and kids, like he had never seen shrimp before.

I pity the poor saps back home who had to sit through that home movie...

0 funny, 0 helpful.

utopiacowboy says on Mar 9, 2007, 22:11:

Five hours with her? I'd be happy with five high quality minutes. OK, two minutes since I'd probably be very excited already and not need the extra three minutes of foreplay.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

0 funny, 0 helpful.