|
PBH / colombia (travelguide, pictures) / post |
So there I was enjoying the Semana Santa procession here in Pereira, minding my own business when my phone goes, it`s some Colombian guy called Jhon, don`t know him. He keeps asking my name and questions I tell him its a wrong number and hang up. He calls back I don`t answer. Two mins later I`ve got a text message and it`s not from a friend. I`ll try to translate it:
"these messages will taste like shit, in less than 72 hours we`ll find you with your phone turned on or off, then we will see face to face who is stronger."
in spanish it was:
"estos mensajes te van a saber a mierda, en menos de 72 horas te ubico con equipo prendido o apagado, ya nos veremos las caras a ver quien aguanta mas".
Then as I was leaving the procession to walk to my house the phone went again, it was him, I didn`t answer. Another message, this one made my neck hairs stand up:
"how come I just saw you in Bolivar Plaza, cool?"
"como viste el plaza Bolivar, chevere?"
Shit, the guy knows my face and is following me. It`s a strange feeling to be amongst 100`s of people in a parade knowing someone is following you but you haven`t a clue what they look like. I hung around for awhile trying to think of the best option, in the end I decided not to go home, I walked till I found a policeman, explained to him the situation, he took me to a taxi and I went to my friends place. He was waiting with machete and gun when I arrived, such is the way in Colombia. No more text messages that nite, I slept OK considering what happened.
Till 9:30 this morning when my phone went off again, another message:
"hi, I recommend you to count the hours, we are quite close, R.I.P"
"hola, te recomiendo que cuentes bien las horas, estamos bastante cerca: R.I.P"
This wasn`t a good start to my day, so I went to the cops, first I went to the DAS, not interested, they sent me to another place, didn`t even get in the front door, no don`t worry this happens all the time I was told. I said it doesn`t happen to me all the time, so we got the cop to call the number. The guy answers, won`t give his name, when he hears its the cops he hangs up. Haven`t had anymore messages since then but that was only 4 hours ago.
So my friend tells me, fuck the police man, we will sort this out our way, I hope it doesn`t come to that. Be careful folks, I dunno what I have done or who I have pissed off, but I`m sure looking over my shoulder a lot at the moment, and am thinking about getting the fuck outta Colombia for awhile.
By kiwi on Mar 26, 2005, 12:51 in Friendly Talkzone.
|
utopiacowboy says on Mar 26, 2005, 12:56: Oh come on, you expect us to believe this. Nothing like that ever happens in Colombia. Everyone is so nice and friendly! In fact it's even safer than _____(fill in blank here)______! Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
British Paisa says on Mar 26, 2005, 13:48: YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH SOMEONES [deleted]....
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 26, 2005, 13:49: Any idea Jeez, that's horrible? Any idea how this character got your number?
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Mr. Hollywood says on Mar 26, 2005, 13:51: Another possibility I'm sure you've thought of this but if not, remember he could have ID'd where you were by the sounds of the procession and just made a lucky guess.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
poco says on Mar 26, 2005, 14:18: For General Information Only Please instruct a friend to post the article link and a brief description of when and how you were murdered. "When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
vladimiro says on Mar 26, 2005, 14:53: security "Oh come on, you expect us to believe this. Nothing like that ever happens in Colombia. Everyone is so nice and friendly! In fact it's even safer than _____(fill in blank here)______!"
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Sonny says on Mar 26, 2005, 15:25: Kiwi I'll give you a dollar three eighty for the rights to your story right now. Hurry, I do not know how much time you have left. Friends???? How do you place a value on that?? They are like memories, without them you have nothing 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
miamimike says on Mar 26, 2005, 15:56: Have you been Dancing with someon'e wife? Sounds like you are involved with someone's wife,novia or armante. The only time I ever recieved a call like that was here in Miami for exactly the above mentioned reasons. Find a new lady friend-its not worth it- "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
ARMacleod says on Mar 27, 2005, 06:43: False alarm folks. I suspect that he has somehow got the phone that belonged to my ex wife. The brain is like a parachute, it only functions correctly when it is open. Pax vobiscum. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
utopiacowboy says on Mar 27, 2005, 08:00: Well, Vladimiro, if I cannot rely on the instructions given to me by my wife's family, who am I going to rely on? I don't have my own independent basis of knowledge to differ with them and I am certainly not going to rely on anonymous posts on some looney web site. Sometimes I object and ask if such and such a precaution is really necessary but they always say, Better safe than sorry. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Jon says on Mar 27, 2005, 08:57: Jhon here! Actually, no relation to the ominous caller. We met in Plaza Bolivar earlier this week. I would have got in touch with you but I lost your number.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
dwmte says on Mar 27, 2005, 11:58: not having a cell phone, i'm not sure.... how it works...if you 'text message' someone, will you get headers and footers on your messages? help.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
|
kiwi says on Mar 28, 2005, 09:20: no more messages but i think this was all about a girl, someone who told me they don`t have a bf but obviously does. he read the texts and followed her and saw me with her is my guess. and no i haven`t slept with her nor even kissed her, but i won`t contact her anymore and it should cool down. my colombian friends say if i was gonna get taken out they don`t bother sending messages, just bullets, so it was more to scare than anything.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Albatross says on Mar 28, 2005, 10:50: Huh ? All that and you didn't even kiss her ?... man, you must feel pretty stupid right about now. “Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Antonio_4 says on Mar 28, 2005, 14:11: haha he's not really the sharpest tool in the box by threatning people on his own mobile.
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
Elbigie says on Mar 29, 2005, 02:31: mmm Kiwi....far from NZ, feeling homesick ...Have you been mucking around with someone's sheep in Col.?
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
utopiacowboy says on Mar 29, 2005, 06:43: As they say in Wyoming, he was just helping that sheep over the fence. Baaaa! Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
kiwi says on Mar 30, 2005, 11:30: sheep are safer... and they don`t know how to text, with those hooves and all that!
0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
utopiacowboy says on Mar 30, 2005, 12:22: It depends. For the right guy, they are single. Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
poco says on Mar 30, 2005, 15:37: Ridin in my car, smoking my cigar Those dudes cruising all day sucking up $2.50 US a gallon gas, equipped with ground effect lighting, tinted windows, mag wheels and playing US Rap music ALL have wives or girl friends. How do you think they afford the car and time to cruise? This is one of the primary reasons Gringos survive their stay. Colombians are smart enough to know not to bite the hand that feeds them. "When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
|
utopiacowboy says on Mar 30, 2005, 16:06: I have to laugh when I think of all the Colombians, male and female, supported by ignorant gringos. Of course I am one of them. They should call us vacas instead of gringos! Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult. 0 funny, 0 helpful. |
More posts by the same author:
carry your passport or at least a copy! 4
Kiwi hits low point and bounces back 8
Pereira 21
f***** mobile phones in Colombia 3
Títulos de canciones de Maná 3
Mas o menos, cuanto vale vivir en Colombia al mes...? 35
Americas: |
Africa: |
Asia:
|
Travel: Also: |
If you're not a part of this travelicious experiment just yet, just sign up here. It's free & easy.
About poorbuthappy | About the travel guides | Travel guide editing | Community rules
© 1998 - 2008 Peter Van Dijck, all rights reserved.