PBH / colombia (travelguide, pictures) / post

Need Advise. Big Problem Brewing

A good friend of mine has a friend whose fiancee recently arrived here. A few months back he came over to our house with my buddy to ask for advice regarding his relationship. Being that I had already gone thru the process, I helped him the best I could. However, there were several big red flags that were waving that gave me pause for concern.

For one, he's Mormon and she's not. He has never had a girlfriend or had sex (at that time) and he's 30. He lives with his family and his mom controls his life. He's not done with school. The girl has a kid. He's naive, clueless and kind of schitzoid. Not a real good combination to have when starting a marriage.

Fast forward to yesterday, my wife and I had them over with our friends. The entire time we hung out this guy didn't even try holding his fiancees hand. He barely looked at her. He was acting like she was kryptinite and he was Superman. Just completely disengaged. The woman is very bright, poised and confident and physically a knock out. I knew just ten minutes into a conversation with them that there was nothing there; just this big vacume where feelings are supposed to be.

When her fiance went to Colombia to help her out she finally got him to be physical with her. He was adament about them not having sex until they were married but finally broke down. I guess it was a really bad experience and since that time he hasn't touched her. Since she flew in a few weeks ago he's been treating her with distain and indifference. It seems he has some personal identify issues besides everything else that is going on in his life. It's sad.

She's here on a Fiancee Visa and she told my wife that she knows she made a mistake in coming over here. She had doubts before but thought it was just nerves. Now she wishes she would have listend to her gut feelings. The problem is that she sold everything she had in Colombia, has no job and according to her no support system in place. She wants to stay here and try to make a go of it. My and my buddy have been helping his friend for a few months now and our wives have been helping as well. All four of us feel badly about how things are turning out. I personally don't understand how someone can go through all the trouble of bringng someone over, especially someone of the caliber of this woman, and treat her like a used piece of tissue. I was actually kind of shocked with his attitude.

Anyway, all four of us want to offer her help, but don't want to get over involved. We already are kind of a safety net and want to help her get on her feet. She has ambition and is motivated to work. In fact she already has a job. She looks so stressed out and in the situation she's found herself in, which is basically in a limbo land between two different worlds, is a real tough one to be in. We all feel that this is someone deserving of help and support, but don't know to the extent that this help and support should be provided. We also don't want to alienate the guy in this warped relationship, (actually I don't care because he's not a friend of mine) but all four of us feel that because of his current living status and personal issues,that he had no business seeking a relationship in the first place and created this problem by his lack of maturity and foresite.

Your thoughts on this are appreciated.

By (Deleted user) on Aug 7, 2006, 11:14 in Friendly Talkzone. AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Miguel says on Aug 7, 2006, 11:33:

strobers From what I can glean from your previous posts here, you have command of English as well as Spanish. What about the couple you are talking about?

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elmodefoque says on Aug 7, 2006, 11:38:

i don't get this chit, i'm a freakin colombian, yet i don't have poised,confident, hot, knock out colombianas after me demanding sex. WTF am i doing WRONG????????????????????
COLOMBIANAS detest my black ass. WHY?????????
WHY?????? WHY???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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elmodefoque says on Aug 7, 2006, 11:40:

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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utopiacowboy says on Aug 7, 2006, 13:25:

I'm with Tinto on this one. But what are the chances? She'll end up another illegal Colombian who overstayed their visa. Then they wonder why US visas are hard to get in Bogota.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Aug 7, 2006, 13:45:

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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moondance says on Aug 7, 2006, 13:59:

she's a knockout you say if she already has a U.S. visa and she knows marriage won't work....then send her over here.....have few friends that are definite marriage material.............something to consider

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famsearch says on Aug 7, 2006, 14:25:

if you have to ask why, you already know the answer elmo... lol
dan

dan

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divina22 says on Aug 7, 2006, 14:35:

LOL you guys crack me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel sooo bad for her.. but what made her go for a guy like that in the first place... HELLO!!!!!!??????? How the hell did they meet anyway?????? I'm sorry but it's a recipe for disaster!! I know she wants to try and stay and work it out, but taking tha crap for much longer will drive her to AA meetings.......... and ditto on trying to stay here illegaly....... man tough place to be in........ Can you try and talk to your mormon friend? Knock some sense into him??? Is she staying with him and his mom??? OH MY GOD, say it ain't so!!!!!

Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don't like to do.......

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tomtom33 says on Aug 7, 2006, 14:51:

Tinto What a great answer to Elmo's query.

Elmo, your soon-to-be-ex ain't bad. She has a great pair of large eyes.

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miamimike says on Aug 7, 2006, 15:12:

She knew the Law in advance of coming here; seems she was hoping for something that wasn't. She really has NO other options then to get on the plane and return home unless she further wants to complicate her life. I'll bet there is more to the story she may not be telling you Strobers, sounds like she may have been using the Guy to get her green card. By the way, they have the Mormons(mormonas) in Colombia, she must have known that her Husband- to- be would not be OK with Smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages. This(no alcohol ever) would be a no-go in 99.9% of colombian families. Then the "Tithing" where Mormons contribute 10% of their Salaries to their Church. Nothing wrong with any of this, what the Mormons practice, only to say, why consider marrying a person like this if these practices will cause a lot of stress in your marriage, In all probability, the Mormon isn't going to change but she had to be aware of this at her age, I can't see a Typical Colombian woman(as most love to dance and have shot of arguadiente) with a pulse above freezing temperature wanting to tie herself into this type of relationship,,,

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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MacGringo says on Aug 7, 2006, 15:24:

She doesn't need a job, just sell this script to Adam Sandler for his next movie....hehehe

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famsearch says on Aug 7, 2006, 15:41:

sounds like she needs to cut her losses, fly back to colombia, and pick up where she left off as best she can. i was surprised, since mormons have an overwhelming tendency to marry other mormons, unless she was willing to convert.
dan

dan

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moondance says on Aug 7, 2006, 17:32:

solution if she is the knockout u say she is....., she not need teturn to Colombia, have her take the next plane to Miami, where she can get a visa to the Bahamas in 1 day, and "boom", 30 minutes later she'd be here. No problem getting her a permanent status here.....the world is full of possiblities

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robertdeason says on Aug 7, 2006, 18:58:

She's a Colombian! This woman has all you guys jumping all ways, reasons, excuses, trauma, and more.

She's a Colombian woman! She knows exactly what she wants, a free ticket to the US, and you can see what she will do to get it. A Colombian woman her age with one child has a snowball's chance in hell to ever be anything in Colombia. Wake up guys . . . she's looking into a dark tunnel where she knows the back streets of Bogota, or any Colombian city, guarantees her nothing but a life of prostitution and poverty.

When I was in Colombia, I had women all over me. It is the dream of every Colombian family to have their daughter marry a gringo, get out of the corrupt, dirty, dangerous, extremily expensive, socially-stratified, patriarcic, poverty ridden Colombia and go to the United States to live happily ever after. I'll bet she never sold a thing back home.

Don't feel sorry for her. For God's sake, tell her boyfriend not to ger her pregnant, and she's going to try.

More of you need to live in Colombia, not pass through on a bus.

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bufalo says on Aug 7, 2006, 19:34:

Like Miamimike said, there are mormons in colombia, PLENTY of them. The guy is 30, no sex and lives with his mom? NO, he's not a nerd in any part of the world, she didn't know what she was getting into????!!!¿¿¿¿¿¡¡¡¡¡

"If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor

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webmanco says on Aug 7, 2006, 20:04:

Robertdeason You don't really know Colombia. I wonder what places did you visit while in Colombia, but your thoughts about single mothers don't hit reality. I know many single mothers who do just fine without crossing in her minds the though of marrying a foreigner or a local for that matter, just for a better life. They do have to work hard an count sometimes on their family's help, maybe you did have a bad experience and are comenting from a bad experience.

Maybe you forgot the world family in your vocabulary, or believe
foreign people are savors of humanity. (lol)

I don't feel sorry for her, but for the kid.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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famsearch says on Aug 7, 2006, 20:17:

robertdeason, you're basically full of something warm, moist, and brown. i may not have spent as much time in colombia as others here, but i can tell you that you are not only way off the mark about colombia, but you're also the kind that not only gives colombia a bad name, by your obviously uninformed, and more than slightly biased opinion. you're also the kind that the rest of us humble gringos a bad name, and are the personification of the ugly american. now my wife is a colombian woman, and normally, i would tend to take your opion of her as a colombian woman a bit personally, but you're not worth the time and effort.
dan

dan

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Mr. Hollywood says on Aug 7, 2006, 20:38:

Help her out Strobers, I appreciate your compassion for this woman. I'd suggest that you and your friends make a little "vaca" for her and help her find the last plane home before her fiancee visa expires. She doesn't want the stress and headache of life here without documents and maybe you should spell some of that out, ie. never being able to travel internationally again, looking over your shoulder, working shit jobs, etc.

The guy sounds like a real closet case. If a hot, sexy Colombiana can't get a dude to like girl-boy sex, it just ain't going to happen.

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miamimike says on Aug 8, 2006, 01:55:

Strobers Educate your Friend's Friend on a Couple Things 1)Make sure your friend has no arguement, shouting ect with this woman. Nothing to give her a reason to call the police or any Social group. Some Women(those with alterior motives--not all) coming here on fiancee Visas have been known to do this as to hedge their remaining in the country(my buddy's fiancee did this---called the Police unknown to him and when he looked out the window of his house he saw all the cops surrounding his wife by that time---after talking to the police, seems his ex-wife called the Cops because she was nervous he asked her, not under duress btw, to sign a pre-Nuptial agreement. The police, upon learning this, dismissed her charge as they explained to Her this was commonplace here in the USA. 2) I hope he knows that he is responsable for her financially if they seperate and she has a problem, say a illness where she is hospitalized, say she has an accident; He pays the Bill!! A good idea is to take a low cost life or temporary life or health insurance on her 90 days here. This same friend of mine mentioned above did that when he brought his fiancee from BQA just to cover all bases should she be involved in a accident. He is a life long banker and knows all the angles when it comes to protecting himself. Caveat Emptor,,,

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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Rubiazo says on Aug 8, 2006, 02:01:

I have another theory She probably THOUGHT she wanted to come to the USA and thought that the grass was greener and that she was willing to put up with this guy's weirdness for that, and then she got here and saw what a fucking dump it was and realized she was probably better off in Colombia. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Robertdeason!

Of course, it's just another theory and a 'fucking dump' is really a matter of perspective. One man's dump is another man's palace and all that. But many people from other countries come here and get their faulty perceptions about how good life is here busted into about a thousand pieces on their first day here.

We really have no idea what was or is going through this particular Colombiana's mind. I do agree that it's really not worth it to be an illegal here anymore. 20 years ago I woulda said hell yeah just overstay your visa and Bob's your uncle. Different world now.

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divina22 says on Aug 8, 2006, 05:21:

Oh my gosh she has a child too? AI DIOS MIO!!!! I think rather than ruining her chances of ever coming, she needs to go home and try again..... any one have any friends? I woudl hook her up with my brother but he stll ives at home with my parents! LOL At least he's not an anti-social, non-drinking mormom...... but seriously, has anyone heard of someone coming over on a K-1 and staying beyond and getting married to someone else??? Is that even possible??? I guess anythign is possible!!! Anyone?

Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don't like to do.......

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aztec says on Aug 8, 2006, 05:33:

Return to Colombia... ...and maintain her legal status. Then she will have little difficulty returning to the USA on other occasions.

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elmodefoque says on Aug 8, 2006, 05:39:

"When I was in Colombia, I had women all over me. It is the dream of every Colombian family to have their daughter marry a gringo," robertdeason

I know this is not politically correct but as a 100% Colombian native, dark injun looking modefoque with that obvious third world look written all over my face, the complete opposite of the Uribe type, I gotta agree with Robertdeason's statement.
Since I’m the recipient of colombianas wrath against people like me, due to family pressure, I think I know what the hell I’m talking about. You gringo guys have no idea how much pride, prestige and great jubilation you bestow on a Colombian family when you date or marry one of them. In many cases during your absence, festivals are thrown in your honor and the entire town is invited with fireworks, dancing and lots of drinking, hosted by the girl’s family paid with the money you send. But if it was me dating that girl, HOLY SHIT!! It will bring great shame and in most cases the girls would be this disowned and that almost happened in my case. Funny thing about getting divorce, everything comes out, stuff I already suspected. Under all that polite, cordial, friendly relationship with my wife’s family, their true feelings were finally revealed. Truth of the matter, they were horrified, disappointed and ashamed of their daughter marrying a modefoque like me. Every self respecting middle class family dreams of their daughter marrying a gringo, a pasty white modefoque and not some old broke ass Colombian corroncho black Injun who likes to hang out with the extreme poor of Barranquilla. WHY? Cus, compared to them “I’m rich biotch!� Dave Chappelle.
No more colombianas for me!!!!

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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webmanco says on Aug 8, 2006, 05:45:

Elmo As a cousin´s daugther tells me, get over with it, or SUPERALO

Sigues respirando por la herida,
Tu lema seria
Que viva las colombianas, pero que vivan bien lejos!.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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elmodefoque says on Aug 8, 2006, 05:52:

pero que vivan bien lejos! jijijjijjjji

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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Rubiazo says on Aug 8, 2006, 08:48:

at Gringodiego Since 1996, NO MORE grandfathering in. And in this girl's case she can't get another visa in ANY way shape or form without returning to Colombia first.

Elmo I got a great story for you. Some of my gf's work colleagues are a little bit on the gold-digging side and met a couple Israeli gringos on the net. Two of them went to the airport to meet the two that were coming in, and they were all kissy kissy and touchy touchy in the cab on the way to the place the guys would be staying. It turns out these Isrealis were broke as all fucking SHIT and were staying in South Bogota in the most run-down DUMP you could imagine. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH those girls cursed them out and left! They said they felt so dirty being used like that by a couple of poor-ass MF's!
8)

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elmodefoque says on Aug 8, 2006, 08:58:

good for their gold digging ass!! congrats to the poor ass gafilta fish eating israelies. jijijijiji
hey rubi, today 5 pm

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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Mr. Hollywood says on Aug 8, 2006, 09:02:

Israeli Gringos? That's a new one.

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robertdeason says on Aug 8, 2006, 09:08:

FROM Robert Deason Let me write this to address any comments left for my reading.

Firstly, thank you for you interest.

I didn't visit Colombia. I lived there. I was in the Peace Corps. I've seen the ugly American in the Tundama and Hilton hotels, on their air-conditioned tour busses. They aren't ugly . . . they're disgusting.

I'm not off the mark about Colombia. You need to see the poor gamines cuddled together, surviving the night lying on the park grass with a newspaper blanket. You need to walk the alleyways of Barranquia. You need to walk Bogota and be hustled for everything from women to coke to horse. You need to see the (heart-breaking) mosquito-infested slums outside Cartegena and walk through its streets at night to see a city transformed into an illicit marketplace. You need to see a dead horse rotting in the river near Villavicencio, Impoverished children with distended bellies and teeth rotted from sugar and neglect, maternity wards for the poor that are unsanitary beyond belief. Hear the haunting, pleading voice of an 80-year-old-woman walking by your window begging, "Botellas . . . papel," trash that she can trade at days end for a pittance of food that no governmental programs will offer, nor filthy-rich church support. Risk showing your "humble gringo" face in Medellin, have your pocket picked or be short changed anytime, anywhere . . . even Bogotanos say, "Don't stick your tongue out in Bogota, you may not get it back."

That's what poverty does to a country, and much of it is caused by our "ugly American" culture. My spending a year there teaching in at the Servicio National de Aprentesaje, wanting to contribute to another country's wellbeing places me far from your naive impression. Colombia gives Colombia a bad name, but only to those who have lived there with their eyes and ears and hearts open, especially if we are from our culture.

It would be folly of me to imply that Colombia and Colombians are all bad. I'm not saying these things because I had a bad experience in Colombia, I had a Colombian experience in Colombia. I lived in a different culture, and it was an eye-opener. Parts of Colombia are beautiful. Nor is it just for me to imply that Colombian women are all the same; I met many who couldn't stand their culture (especially Colombian men) and they, of good sense would give anything to live in a society where women had a place of esteem.

But, when the bets are placed, the money goes on my side.

You said I'm biased . . . you bet I am.

famsearch: I said nothing about your wife, I'm sure she's a wonderful woman. But, ask her if she wants to live in Colombia.

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webmanco says on Aug 8, 2006, 09:22:

That is true, and is what Politics and corruption does to a country, the poor gets poorer and the rich richer. Don't need to hide the sunshine with a finger, but somehow your post was againts colombian women.

Those are reasons why Colombia could not be one of the happiest countries.

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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elmodefoque says on Aug 8, 2006, 09:32:

As a kid I was one of those I was one of those kids that walked the alleys (callejon) of Barranquilla poorest neighborhoods and my bellied looked like I accidentally swallowed a basketball, but my hair was a nice shade of blonde. Lack of vitamins. I wanna tell you more but sometimes it bums me out and I also get a bit upset.

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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elmodefoque says on Aug 8, 2006, 09:35:

I bet you're probably wondering, how the hell does someone accidentally swallow a basketball?

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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elmodefoque says on Aug 8, 2006, 09:44:

24 damnnn, hey! give her my number but don't tell what i look like. tell her i'm english even rumanian anything but wayuu.

any colombianita willing to date me, IS UP TO NO GOOD

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famsearch says on Aug 8, 2006, 12:28:

peace corps, i thought i had recognized the holier than thou attitude, but had forgotten that it still existed. in the short time i've been in colombia, i've seen and been around the poverty. i've asked my sister in law, because she's a colombiana, to give someone money for me, because i thought it wouldn't seem right coming from a gringo. preserving the pride of the recipient, and on occasion, i will send money to my brother in law there, to give to this person. we've all seen both the good and the bad there, and some here have had to live it, and turned out ok. but i have seen not a one of them here, adopt such an arrogant, holier than thou attitude about colombia, or colombians in general as you. granted, the peace corps started out as a good idea, but thanks to liberalism, it has become more symbolic than practical. why join the peace corps? why didn't you go there on your own? when you came back, did you feel better about yourself for helping, or worse for not being able to follow up?

when you make such broad reaching statements, such as:"She's a Colombian woman! She knows exactly what she wants, a free ticket to the US, and you can see what she will do to get it.", that since my wife is a colombian woman, you are including her by default in that catagorization. my wife and i did talk about her leaving colombia, and how she felt about it. leaving everything she knew, all her friends and family. she told me that she had never had any thought about leaving colombia, period, and the only reason she is leaving colombia, is because she wants to be with her husband, who happens to live here. i have never, ever, ran into a colombian that didn't love thier country, that's both colombians here and in colombia. in talking with family there, i have found that there are 2 things that will really get a colombian truly angry, one is what escobar did to thier people and country, and the other is the truly half-assed way colombia is portrayed by the media here. i have one brother in law, who came to this country, wanting to make a better life for himself and his family, but after a while, was so disgusted with the materialistic, impersonal, self-centered life here, he went back to the colombia he loved, and now he is truly happy again. so you cannot say that every colombian and thier brother is trying to get into this country.

when you say, "would give anything to live in a society where women had a place of esteem.", you obviously have not seen any of the latest gangsta/thug rap videos. in today's hiphop culture, women are no more than disposable objects, to be used and thrown away. in my short time in colombia, i have seen more respect paid to women, young and old, than i have seen in my entire life here in the states. a good way to get roughed up by a colombian, say something about his sister, you want worse, say something about his mother. i have seen one of my nephews, come home from school, kiss first his mother, then his grandmother, before going in to fix himself a snack. how many 19 year olds do that here in the states? if that isn't someone being held in esteem, i don't know what is.

i'll finish with this bob, my wife is happy no matter where we would wind up living, colombia or the states, because she would be with the man she loves.

dan

dan

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tomtom33 says on Aug 8, 2006, 17:10:

Bob "...much of it is caused by our "ugly American" culture."

You put your right hand on your right shoulder, your left hand on your left shoulder, and pull.

I have lived here for 3 years and have helped many unfortunate young ladies. I'm not in the Peace Corps.

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poco says on Aug 8, 2006, 17:36:

I'm helping I have lived here for 3 years and have helped many unfortunate young ladies.

Ahh,, you must have organized your own private piece corp.

That's why I'm in Colombia, to help an unfortunate young lady.

I like to think I've entered the charitable stage of my life.

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy." Quote - General Tommy Franks

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Rubiazo says on Aug 8, 2006, 17:44:

Deason you are not BIASED you are PREJUDICED. Bias implies justification. Your attitude is not justifiable.

Why don't you get out of your air conditioned bus and look at YOUR OWN COUNTRY. There's not a single place on Earth I'm aware of that doesn't have horrible conditions SOMEWHERE within its borders.

I was born and raised in Canada and we have areas there that are worse than ANYWHERE you could show me in Colombia. They just don't happen to receive any media attention.

To be fair there are a lot more people in Colombia who are poor than there are in Canada but that doesn't mean one country is superior to another.

For the record, I am almost certain I will be going down there next year to live full time. And my gf who was born and raised in Bogota is willing to visit me here in NYC but she NEVER wants to live anywhere in the USA. You have a very narrow and misguided view of the planet.

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utopiacowboy says on Aug 8, 2006, 18:42:

I bet you give them something to help relieve their stress, Poco.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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redway says on Aug 8, 2006, 21:18:

LOL- UTC- Really relieved the stress of this weird thread. Rubiazo was very controlled in his response to this robertdeason. Wow. The guy this woman is around,the Mormon, sounds like a loser. She isn't. Strobers should help HER. I really hope she stays here.

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redway says on Aug 8, 2006, 23:07:

Oooops. FINE... I attack the idiocy. I don't want to be rude.

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redway says on Aug 8, 2006, 23:07:

Why doesn't someone take her to see an immigration attorney? Then she can live here-U.S.- if she wants. I hope Strobers sees this.

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Rubiazo says on Aug 8, 2006, 23:33:

Won't do any good when you enter on a fiancee visa there is no other legitimate path to staying here but to return to your country and re-apply on other grounds.

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redway says on Aug 8, 2006, 23:40:

Then she needs to return and re-apply. Someone-hopefully, strobers, will tell her this-I bet he already has. The very fact of her returning should really work in her favor. She is employed here, etc.. I really hope she stays single.

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pedro says on Aug 9, 2006, 03:31:

? All of the handful of ladies I have known in Colombia command and garner enviable respect from their children.

How many ladies to a handful? :op

que nota!

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JR says on Aug 10, 2006, 08:51:

Observations.. As an RPCV Togo West Africa 95-97(Returned Peace Corps Volunteer), I couldn't resist adding to this thread. I can unequivocally say though that all Togolese I met would leave to their country without hesitation to live in the USA if given the opportunity. Colombia does have its poverty but not on the same scale as Togo. Here are some figures to illustrate why:

The GNI (or gross national income per capita) according to the World Bank for Colombia in 2005 was $2,000. The GNI for Togo in 2005 was $380.

Consequently, my experience in Colombia (Medellin and Cali), has been quite different. The majority of women I’ve met (with and without kids) would choose to stay in Colombia if their situation were improved. Essentially, women have stated it is a great difficulty for them to find a decent husband who doesn’t cheat and has a stable income. And that fact has nothing to do with our American culture.

I am curious Robert; have you returned to Colombia since your service ended? I say this because Peace Corps left Colombia in 1981. If you haven't been back recently, I urge you to visit again and see how the country has changed…

Strobers: How long did your friend know his fiancée before she arrived here in the USA? Something doesn’t add up there.

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famsearch says on Aug 10, 2006, 13:05:

one thing you forgot to mention jr, is the exchange rate for togo. at 220780 francs(cfa franc (xof)), and what the prices are in togo, that could be a pretty good salary. the current exchange rate is roughly 581 francs to the dollar. similar situation in colombia, where the current exchange rate is 2480 to the dollar, and by your figuring, that's a salary of 4.96 million pesos.

i did some checking of your figures, the actual per capita for togo is $380, using atlas methodology(us dollars) and $1550 purchasing power pairty(international dollars), and for colombia, it's $2290 and $7420 respectively. for a little over 5.6 million pesos, with a ppp of 18.4 million pesos. from what i've seen, you can live pretty much ok on 5.6 million pesos. not lifestyles of the rich and famous, but comfortable. the info i've used is directly from the world bank, for 2005.
dan

dan

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bufalo says on Aug 10, 2006, 19:25:

famsearch - " i have found that there are 2 things that will really get a colombian truly angry, one is what escobar did to thier people and country, and the other is the truly half-assed way colombia is portrayed by the media here."

I've been living in colombia on and off for 15 years, when not here, I was usually living with the colombians in queens. Most of the ones I have talked to, especially before present, really liked escobar and looked up to him. when they talk of guns and shootings, their eyes light up. When talking to people about the media, a lot do not like the portrayal, but have told me that it is somewhat deserved.
Just what I have seen, oh and for anyone else: screw the peace corp. I had a teacher way back from bogota that said they were thrown out of colombia for spying. I'm going to guess it was like the '60s or so.

"If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor

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JR says on Aug 11, 2006, 07:05:

Not Exactly Buffalo Check my post above. Peace Corps left in 1981 and it wasn't due to spying. A volunteer was kidnapped so for the safety of all volunteers, they left Colombia.

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utopiacowboy says on Aug 11, 2006, 09:47:

Not every Colombian thinks Escobar was a hero. He was responsible for the death of my wife's father. A family of 7 children without a father. Personally I think he deserves a spot in the deepest pit of hell. If I had him I would have disembowelled him and let the dogs eat his intestines while he watched. I would have cut off his eyelids after that. I would have removed each of his fingernails with a pair of pliers. The Comanches had numerous ways of torture and I would have tried them all out on him.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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bufalo says on Aug 11, 2006, 10:13:

UTC I feel the same way. Last night it was too late to repost, so I'll say it now. In the last 2 years or so I have come across less of what I had said in my post with regards to Escobar. Funny, where I saw a lot of people liking him, I was in SM and other parts of the coast. Now inn the interior (Quindío) I hear people, not saying he is responsible for the problems today, but against what he was.
JR, just what one of my professors had told me of what happened when she was in th euniversity, like I said I'd put her there in the 60's or so. I went once to the offices in Ny, the old trade center, to ask about service. The very first page in the packet had huge bold letters saying that if the volunteer or any of their family or friends were in the CIA, then the person was disqualified. Too weird, and oh sure, a CIA op would blow his cover by telling the truth. That sheet of paper was ridiculous.

"If you don't like it - lump it, take it down the road and dump it." - Archie Bunker played by Carroll O'Connor

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billyb says on Aug 11, 2006, 13:49:

I don't know about the CIA, but... a year or so back there was movie playing in Colombia (can't remember name, senilty i guess) about the drug business and it alluded to Peace Corps Volunteers in Colombia being some of the pioneers in smuggling drugs from there into the US.

BillyB

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David in Idaho says on Aug 11, 2006, 16:54:

then it must be true After all, it was in the movies!

I suppose that you could both be right: Maybe it was a drug smuggling Peace Corps volunteer that was kidnapped while spying for the CIA?

That would make a good movie plot.

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miamimike says on Aug 11, 2006, 17:06:

So some US Army Guys Honed The Drug Smuggling To a High State of the Art. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4420329.stm

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." -- Feb. 28, 2008 --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.

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elchantajista says on Aug 12, 2006, 14:40:

tell her tell her to e mail me at el_chantajista at yahoo.com in spanish, live in louisiana work in the oilfield no hang ups here i promise, blond hair hazel eyes

"Vicente"

anda de parranda en Bogota "Vicente"

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Strobers says on Dec 11, 2007, 19:52:

I forgot about this thread. The girl from Colombia wound up leaving this guy before her three month fiancee visa was up and hooked up with the Colombia guy I had mentioned before. I knew that was going to happen. Just watching them together at our place when she first got here confirmed what wound up happening.

"Life is too serious to be taken seriously"

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john_stark says on Dec 11, 2007, 21:35:

Geez, Strobers, are you resurrecting every old thread that you started? So is she still here? If she is she's gotta be illegal. If you don't marry the guy you came in here on a K-1 for, you have to go back. No switcheroo.

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goin_south says on Dec 11, 2007, 22:22:

Stobers: The Komeback Kid.
J_S... more creativity, por favor. There's got to be some recourse.... with a million illegales mejicanos... SHE'S SAFE! Strobers... you don't have her in hiding, eh? You're not safe!

Ciao! Gustav. Bienvenitos, Ike.

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