My Wife Says Goodbye

michaelz says on Dec 28, 2005, 04:43:

spanish You don't mention her english proficiency. The better she speaks it and the sooner she learns it, the happier she will be. Suggestions:

1. Sign her up for English Classes. Many schools and churches offer english as a second language classes. She will also meet other Latins who are relatively new to the country and this will help.

2. Sign up for latin cable. Both dish network and direct tv offer packages with a number of latin channels (english ones too). With the right package, you will even get colombian channels. (Careful though, this can slow her progress in learning english.)

3. If possible, get her a gym membership close to home, and make arrangements for her to visit without the children. This will be a good break for her and exercise will help her work off any anxiety.

4. Find the spanish language newspaper in your area and look for events, restaurants and other ways to keep a latin connection.

5. Find a good, spanish speaking church and take her there.

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boomer says on Dec 28, 2005, 06:36:

I would think twice....................... about bringing her here and promptly leaving her alone in a new environment with no family or friends (children or no) for several months. Doesn't sound like a good start to me?? Better to leave her in Colombia untill you can spend this several months "with" her while she adapts.

orgullo_de_colombia

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utopiacowboy says on Dec 28, 2005, 08:33:

That is exactly what happened to my wife. It was sink or swim. When getting in this kind of relationship it's best to marry a swimmer.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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silviat says on Dec 28, 2005, 10:12:

english As someone mentioned already... if her english isnt very good the first step is to work on it. Specially if there aren't many latins around, without english skills she will be pretty isolated.

Driving - If she doesnt drive then she should put her efforts on learning. If she already does know how to do it already, then she should start studying for the theory test so she can get her driver's license soon. In many places of this country without a car you are pretty much limited to be in your house at least that someone take you out (thats the way I feel right now while visitting our family in OH).

Library - The library's system in this country is really good so if she is a reader thats something that can keep her busy. Libraries (in portland at least) also often have activities like language conversations, book clubs, etc. so that would give her an option to do something and meet people.

Sports - If she is into sports it would be good if you can arrange someway so she can go to the gym, or the pool, or whatever place where she can do the activities she is interested at. If she doesn't feel like leaving the home with the baby being so young, she can also get dvd's of the activities she likes and do that while the baby is taking a nap (that's what my sister in law does).

Food - Wheter it sounds silly or not, having the food you are used to eat really helps so you don't feel so homesick. Tell her to bring in her luggage the kinds of food she likes. Locate the latin store in your area, and if there isn't one then there's websites where you can get the stuff (hatogrande.com, 1vende.com, amigosfood.com).

New hobbies - She can try to learn something new, knitting, some ethnic food, painting, etc.

Friends - Ask one of your girlfriends or friends wifes or someone you know that is nice and trustful to try to put time on her, stop by your house once in a while and stuff like that. Really what was harder for me the most at the beginning was lacking of a network.

Thought I think with a 4 months old baby she will have plenty to do :)

It's really hard to avoid gettin sad... you are leaving what is familiar to you... and you don't feel you belong to the place, you don't understand the culture, etc... So one advice for you is to be really (very, extremely) understanding and patient.

There were days when I just wanted to cry all day and was extremely sensitive, and probably annoying too, but realizing how Seth was so supportive and understanding really made a difference and made me realize that even when yes 1000 things dont make sense, my place in the world is with him.

If your wife ever wants to email with me or ask me something about my experience tell her to write me (if you pm I send you my address). I will be more than happy to help with whatever I can.

I wish you luck!

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bbattiste says on Dec 28, 2005, 11:09:

Thanks Silviat I think she will be fine and your advice gives me a lot of comfort. I think she will be interested in emailing you, so shortly after we will get in touch with you. Thanks again

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bbattiste says on Dec 28, 2005, 11:09:

Thanks Silviat I think she will be fine and your advice gives me a lot of comfort. I think she will be interested in emailing you, so shortly after we will get in touch with you. Thanks again

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DoninLasVegas says on Dec 29, 2005, 20:39:

My comprometida s/b in Las Vegas in about 3 months This is not of immediate help, but my fiancee should arrive in Las Vegas in 3 or 4 month if our visa process continues as "normal."

When she arrives, she too, will be looking for new friends & contacts in Las Vegas. Maybe your wife & my fiancee could become good friends. Send me a note with your email &/or phone number and I'll get in contact with you.

Don

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