My unbiased opinion of cities I’ve visited in Colombia.

elmodefoque says on Jan 17, 2007, 07:01:

perdon, Cartagena and Santa Marta same as Barranquilla.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 17, 2007, 07:26:

I haven't been to Barranquilla but my favorite Colombian city is Monteria. You'll never see it on any postcard because it's a dump. At all hours it's choked with traffic and people walking or on bicycles or motos. It's noisy, dusty and hot as hell. You sweat like an animal even when you're just sitting down. Nobody's got AC, just big fans blowing everywhere. You never see a gringo but the chicks are hot, literally and figuratively. It's a corroncho paradise.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Jan 17, 2007, 07:29:

uc, this monteria, sounds like south curramba to me!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 17, 2007, 07:45:

hey blondie!!!! where the hell are you? i'm ready to show you my pic.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 17, 2007, 08:45:

YEO, Monteria is like 30 YEp, Monteria is like 30 minutes from Planeta rica mi tierra, I used to go to Monteria a lot and I didn't like it I haven't been there for ages now, but my untie have, she said is all different now and it's looking good.

engage brain before opening mouth

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cali373 says on Jan 17, 2007, 08:51:

Isn't Monteria the capital of Castano's (now Mancuso) little feifdom? Due the unrestraint Paramilitaries in that dept. of Cordoba is it safe to go there by bus?

Smile if you are a thinker!

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arthur brode says on Jan 17, 2007, 10:12:

same here in Cali.Hips,T&A all over the place. i will post pics.later

http://www.calirentals.net/

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elmodefoque says on Jan 17, 2007, 10:21:

ok guys, lets see them.
ok guys, lets see them.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 17, 2007, 10:32:

i give credit when is due and this cachaca from medellin has true barranquillera style hips. Man she could have my entire pay check for just one evening with her.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Mr. Hollywood says on Jan 17, 2007, 10:49:

she has a good She has a good waxer, too, as we can see.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 17, 2007, 11:11:

she is ok although she looks quite tight in her dance, she needs to relax more maybe she needs to drink a couple of aguilas ;)

engage brain before opening mouth

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robi666 says on Jan 17, 2007, 11:39:

Cali373, you lost something on the way... the "capital" of Mancuso's reign is now Itagui. Salvatore is often talking (and crying) on TV, expecially on closed circuit in Medellin... About Monteria and Cordoba, maybe it USED to be safer to go there, thanks to AUC. At least if you are not an ELN supporter...

Well, Sinceleyo is worse than Monteria, which is far from being nice. I wouldn't choose to live there, like I wouldn't live in Savana Larga, Baranoa, Malambo, Soledad or Estadio, La Gaviota or La Mora. You need to be smart gringos or capos as Elmo and UC to like it there :-)

esanch36, you need to travel ;-) big hips in Bogotà? Cachacas cannot even be compared to Barranquilleras!

Elmo... "this cachaca from Medellin"... uh?

what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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robi666 says on Jan 17, 2007, 12:41:

Why stupid? It's far from being stupid, infact... like saying that cachacas are lighter skinned than costenas. You just talk about average, of course. Hips are definitely located in Curramba! Go there to believe...

what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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elmodefoque says on Jan 17, 2007, 14:11:

according to youtube, the above clip was shot in a club in Medellin. that incredible girl has more of that barranquillera face and hips and she's modelling for a brranquilla beer. she could easily be barranquillera.
in my humble opinion she is the most beautiful, hottest, sexy girl i've ever seen in all colombia.
if i was 40 years younger i think i would have a chance with that. the colombianas i most problems with are the darker, mestisa ones but a blanquita like that, you never know?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Lisa Zee says on Jan 17, 2007, 15:06:

Sincelejo Is that in Monteria? I was there many years ago, it was the ugliest place on earth!!!!

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robi666 says on Jan 17, 2007, 15:38:

Sucre. On the way to Monteria.

what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present."

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morphus says on Jan 17, 2007, 16:57:

I posted that vid in the video section a while back and it got zapped. That girl is ass lickin hot.

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poco says on Jan 17, 2007, 18:23:

Now Barranquilla - IS HOT,, but Humid Or so I'm told, the girl I'm with isn't really excited about going there,, but that's what they said about Florida,, kind of hot and humid,, swampy,, there is no accounting for taste.

Where I'm located it is nice and cool in the morning, you need two sheets some mornings. Almost zero Humidity and the womens asses ??? Well, I had to look at my collection of cellphone holder photos and SURE ENOUGH the asses are U.S. Grade "A",, extra fine,, who would have guessed ??


I'm on a slow line so I can't comment on the video.

OH, I was in Armenia last week and saw, or at least noticed a Cell phone protruding from a womans cleavage,, gosh,, a bosom holder, seems handy and pretty safe. Doubt there are many in Pereira,, bad enough getting your ass grabbed when they steal a cell phone.

PS: The news showed a picture of 50 MILLION dollars IN CASH. It was under a floor in a house. Yep, they had poured concrete over the stash and laid some nice ceramic tile. You can NOT BELIVE how big the stack was, at least 7 feet high and 3 feet wide. In plastic bags,, guess they had some left over from the fruit stand they owned ?

They are looking for the owner or owners as the case maybe. I'm sure it's not drug money.

right now

Good news !!!! Someone noticed a LOT of folks were being KILLED by electricity in BOGOTA (Imagine that !). There will be FAST action on this item because IT IS THE OWNERS RESPONSIBILITY to fix the problem,, RIGHT NOW ... NO WAY the electric company is going to pay. Right now,, let's see,, that means tomorrow and tomorrow never comes,, hey, if people keep on getting killed, the relatives can hire an attorney and get RICH ! I can't wait until someone in Colombia receives 8 MILLION PESOS for having coffee spilled in their lap,, Ha, there won't be a dry lap in that part of the world.

Who was it that said Bogota was a better place to live than,,, where ? Oklahoma or was it Texas.

Oh,, don't ask about the sewer discharge in Bogota.

"Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent" - Isaac Asimov

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jamescoscia says on Jan 17, 2007, 18:28:

monteria funny you mention monteria. i was just there last week, but just for a few hours. driving from cartagena we stopped for a bite and some rest. you hit it right on the head with your description

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Blondie says on Jan 17, 2007, 18:42:

I am here Elmo.... and ready for that picture... i am anxiously waiting for it! i cant wait to stick my finger in your ass (i mean burrita)

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BxUnika says on Jan 17, 2007, 20:51:

Ummm... You call those good bodies and asses? I have to laugh. I am 100% White and my ass and hips are better than that. These girls look like in about ten years they'll be perfect Diabetes and high cholestral candidates. I mean, I have no problem giving credit where it it is due, but these girls look borderline dumpy.

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Sam Salmon says on Jan 17, 2007, 22:52:

Quite True! "These girls look like in about ten years they'll be perfect Diabetes and high cholestral candidates. I mean, I have no problem giving credit where it it is due, but these girls look borderline dumpy. "

Also-the woman in that video can't even dance?

WTF?










' a la orden!'

' a la orden!'

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goin_south says on Jan 17, 2007, 23:12:

monteria??? Monteria. You'll never see it on any postcard because it's a dump. At all hours it's choked with traffic and people walking or on bicycles or motos. It's noisy, dusty and hot as hell. You sweat like an animal even when you're just sitting down. Nobody's got AC, just big fans blowing everywhere. You never see a gringo but the chicks are hot, literally and figuratively. It's a corroncho paradise.


Maybe I should tell mi fiance to go ahead and sign a 2-year contract with otro empresa de lingerie por dos anos; si? por Monteria!!!

Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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goin_south says on Jan 17, 2007, 23:13:

It's a corroncho paradise. Would that then, make me corroncho?? WTF is corroncho? Is it something I would want to be?

Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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goin_south says on Jan 17, 2007, 23:20:

Blondie.... WTF? are you thinking? quit playing with those gringos. Elmo has it bad for you. You want uno colombiano? Elmo..? I donno. but,...maybe he will/can cure your.......

Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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goin_south says on Jan 17, 2007, 23:25:

poco, thanks. you and arthur should team up, and publish the book of Colombian Cell Phone Holders!

Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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Robert Jorge says on Jan 18, 2007, 02:16:

Elmo Man, you have to go inland. You are talking like that broad is hot? Man, in Villavo, that is below average - ask Katt1. She will back me up. There is nothing wrong with the chic in the film, but that is a dime a dozen in Villavicencio and Acacias. If things don't work out with me and my Rola, I am vacationing in the llano until I die. F*** the coast. (I am sure I would love the costenas too ... never seen it, don't miss it)

--"I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex." - Jack Handy

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gringolondinense says on Jan 18, 2007, 03:02:

hey elmo you missed a bit of info out!

Are barranquilleras gringo-crazed also? :-)

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gringolondinense says on Jan 18, 2007, 03:06:

BxUnika please post your pics...youre obviously worthy of being called a cellphone holder :-). Ask poco for some advice.

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elchantajista says on Jan 18, 2007, 03:39:

Que es un corroncho Un corroncho is any requete flojo( really slow )prieto cara de monda hijueputa (dark skinned dick face SOB) that lives near the sea,requete corroncho( Really!! or super corroncho) man from santa martha, guajira and barranquilla, probabaly a fisherman, picks fruit and sell at the market clueless only thing he worry about getting the woman to have more children so they could help him find food lol or a vagabondo on the beach chasing gringas not worried about nothing blissful happy and ignorant lol
funny mierda elmo!!!! en spanish only
anda de parranda en Bogota
"Vicente"

anda de parranda en Bogota "Vicente"

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blogota.com says on Jan 18, 2007, 04:38:

OMG, what an awesome thread... Peter, can we have a section of PBH just for middle-aged ass-chasing gringos?

Seriously, it seems that lots of threads turn into these frat parties. Ahh... PBH, the best Colombia site FOR ASS-CHASING PARANOID GRINGOS since 1998!

blogota.com

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 06:26:

Robert, if girls in the "inland" look as good or better than the girl on that video then I’m taking my black old ass over there with a fist full of dollars. The Inland of Colombia (cachaco territory) always frightens me with all them guerrillas and snakes and chit.
I grew up in the sunny coast where the worst that could happen is a fokin coconut falling on your head and knocking your ass right out.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 06:50:

There’s one thing I must caution you when getting accidentally knocked-out by a falling coconut. As soon as the natives see your ass sprawled flat out unconscious next to a coconut tree, before they call the ambulance (a guy and burro), they’re gonna take everything in your fokin pockets.
How do I know? I used to do that with my buddies. We sit around and watch cachacos walk or sit under coconut trees, all day long.
you ever see a native sit under a coconut tree? hell NOOOO!!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 07:06:

Blondie Hey blondie, I'm ready to show you my pic, where the "F" are you!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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Colombiche says on Jan 18, 2007, 07:38:

Bogota isn´t always so cold, it can get quite warm during the day, especially at noon when it is sunny and it goes up to like 22 or 23 degrees celcius. Rolos, however, still walk around all covered up even when it is hot, I have even spotted a few people walking around with umbrellas to avoid the sun, who in their right mind would want to avoid the sunshine.... plus, what´s up with all the dark drab colours!

Personally, I love wearing sandals and tanktops. People in Bogota stared down at my dressy sandals like I am a weirdo and God forbid a girl walk around in a tank top, men ogle at you as if you were in the nude, I end up putting a sweater on even if I have beads of sweat dripping down my arms and neck. Maybe my sense of what´s cold has been skewed by the years I have spent braving the canadian winter.

People really judge you by the way you dress here , if you look young, casual and unpretentious and have a colombian face like I do, people automatically guess you don´t have much money in your pocket.

Bogota is probably one of my favourite places in the world to be, but it would be even better if the weather was like Medellin.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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gringolondinense says on Jan 18, 2007, 07:41:

blondie's with me elmo... unfortunately she got her curvy figure stuck in the bath during one of our sessions. I need to borrow 4 of your burritas and a horse harness to haul her out.

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 07:55:

i'll ship them (burritas) overnight to merry ol england. I want blondies ass back to the states ASAP, i'm gettin desperate. as of today, it will be 4 days with out sex.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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gringolondinense says on Jan 18, 2007, 08:11:

OK Elmo! Unfortunately I cant afford the air freight fee due to excess size and weight charges. I'll pack her in a container and send her by boat her over ok?

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BxUnika says on Jan 18, 2007, 09:35:

My God... "These girls look like in about ten years they'll be perfect Diabetes and high cholestral candidates. I mean, I have no problem giving credit where it it is due, but these girls look borderline dumpy. "

"Also-the woman in that video can't even dance? "

What the hell are wrong wth people on here?

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gringolondinense says on Jan 18, 2007, 09:41:

YER.... that Chica Aguila is not dancing flat out. She looks a bit self-conscious. No wonder, seeing as shes dancing on her own during daylight hours in a cheesy bar with men letching at her.

I wonder if a Chica Aguila would go for a guy like me? (I mean if I didnt have the gorgeous blondie of course).

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Blondie says on Jan 18, 2007, 10:55:

Im here Im here... the Burra's got me out... needed to use lots of vaseline and crisco...to grease me out...and then i fell into a big pile of burra turds.... but that sure made for some fun afterwards with GringoLondinese... whoo hoo!!!

But im back in the states now... ready to see that picture!!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 11:42:

Esanch, I started posting Esanch, I already started posting there but I’m too embarrassed to reveal my handle.
The guys and gals at this site are friggin writing geniuses, true Gabos of poop.

The Pain In My Butt
Posted 11.21.2006 by healthy 1 (1230)
It all started one November morning in 2005. I was upstairs in my bedroom getting ready for work when the urge to poop suddenly hit. And this wasn't any urge to take lightly. I knew that I was about to produce a monster.
I went in and proceeded to give birth to this thing. As it came out of me I could feel my anus stretching to its limits; but nothing that a grown man couldn't take. Wiping, I noticed a little blood on the toilet paper. I got up to see what I had birthed: a log a good fifteen inches long and two inches thick.

There was no way that my dying toilet was going to be able to handle this. I broke out the turd chopper, chopped it in half, and then flushed. The giant beast swirled away to the murky depths below.

The next day, I was at work and I needed to poo. I proceeded into the men's room to do my thang. But this one would just poke its head out and go back in. So, not wanting to be in the bathroom until the second coming, I gave a girthy push. The log came out -- but I felt something go "pop" in my rectum. Wiping, there was a fair amount of blood, and now a dull ache.

As the next couple of weeks passed, things initially got worse, but began to get better. And then, on December 3, 2005, I was at Borders reading and catching up on some assignments when I began to feel gurgling and rumbles in my gut. I knew what was awaiting me when the cramps set in, so I proceeded to the men's room. A terrible flood of butt mud and liquishit came blasting out of me. After thirty minutes of violent shitting, the ass-ault on my ass was finally over, but the pain and bleeding had returned.

Getting very concerned, I conceded and saw a doctor. The doctor told me that I had a case of hemorrhoids right at the rectum, just barely outside. They would inside when the urge to poop hit -- but they would come back out while pooping. I was given a prescription for Analpram ointment, a topical anesthetic. The cream did little to ease my suffering -- now every time I would poop, stripes of blood would decorate my logs. And every time I had to poop, I would pray that it wasn't going to be a super-sized turd, as it usually was. I had to go back to the doctor for a prescription of Lidocaine to ease the burning. Now when the doctor would stick his finger up my starfish, the pain was enough to launch me over the moon.

On January 4, 2006, my hemorrhoids reached their climax. After excessive hell-raising and a few too many to drink, my ass was giving me something to remember. This time, when urge to poop hit, it felt like baby Jaws was nibbling at my starfish. I headed off to the toilet armed with a pan of warm water, my Lidocaine jelly, some Epsom salts, and other necessities. But now my hemorrhoids were at the top of the Fartjita scale: Category Five.

As the turd began to come out of my anus, I began to feel the winds of pain starting to blow. I knew the pain was going to be intense, yet I had to poo too bad to hold it.

The giant turd got halfway out, and stopped cold.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled as a stabbing pain struck my rectum. This was my payback for my dirty deeds on New Year's night. Karma can be cruel; but I had to take my medicine like a man, and suffer the consequences of my hell-raising. Finally, the turd broke off.

But more was to come. The pain was so intense that it made me queasy. Sometimes it would shoot down my legs like a lightning bolt. As the rest of this monster log made its journey out of my bruised and battered tooter, the pain just got too intense -- I had to stop and take a sitz bath.

After ten minutes passed, my anus had calmed down enough so I felt that I could finish business. As soon as I resumed, though, the pain returned -- my little reprieve was just the eye of the storm. Now the worst of the storm was about to rumble through.

"Oww!" I shrieked. "Just get it over with and come out!"

Ten more minutes passed. Now a storm surge of blood was making its presence known: the monster log had burst my hemorrhoids. "Suffering son of a bitch!" I exclaimed as I grew increasingly irritated with my shituation.

"I have no choice," I thought to myself. "I am going to have to dig this thing out." So I slathered my storm-damaged rectum in Lidocaine jelly, waited another five minutes, and then put on a glove and dug what I could out, one piece at a time.

"This is nasty," I thought to myself as I was disimpacting.

Though I got some of it out, my anus was throbbing and burning as if I was shitting out broken bottles. After forty-five minutes, I gave up. I had gotten about half of the turd out.

I looked into the bowl. My creation was fully covered in fire engine-red blood. The toilet looked like someone had gutted out a pig. I flushed and called in sick for the day.

Three hours later, I administered an enema, and the remnants of the turd to come out, with marginal pain. The storm was down graded to Category Three.

A week later, my case of hemorrhoids mysteriously disappeared.

But I know that if I am not careful, the hemorrhoids could reappear. With my history of hemorrhoids, my anus is like a farmhouse in the middle of Tornado Alley, just waiting in dread of the next storm.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:24:

mira blondie, not to scare or shock you, i'm gonna reveal myself in stages.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:26:

Thank God you don't work for Lonely Planet Elmo.

and about your childhood story, you are starting to sound like my dad!!!!

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:28:

in my early 20's NYC.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:30:

here we go again, next one the one of you smoking weed and the next one you sha** The donkey :P
DG favourite one :)

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:31:

and now!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:33:

i've not aged very well and is all my fault, Too much booze and drugs and sex.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 12:39:

mira blondie, i gotta go home now, my ex is pickin me up, but tomorrow i wanna talk to you in private. send me your phone number at this e mail malpariohp at yahoo.com
I got a real nice surprise for you, you gonna love it trust me, I had dozens of blonde grilfriends and i know what you like.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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morphus says on Jan 18, 2007, 16:15:

Who cares if she can't dance? She has a certain slutty quality that men like.

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coffee beaner says on Jan 18, 2007, 16:20:

hell yea you gotta love that slutty look

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 17:11:

guys, you gotta check out this song

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elchantajista says on Jan 18, 2007, 17:45:

i hope when i die thats what heaven is like
anda de parranda en Bogota
"Vicente"

anda de parranda en Bogota "Vicente"

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Swinn88 says on Jan 18, 2007, 17:58:

WOW
WOW

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morphus says on Jan 18, 2007, 18:23:

Ass lickin hot!
Ass lickin hot!

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Colombiano_81 says on Jan 18, 2007, 18:28:

jesus christ elmo....
Thats jesus christ elmo....

Thats definetly my heaven too!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 18, 2007, 19:16:

i totally agree guys, definetly heaven, is gotta be another one of bob marley's masterpiece.
now i gotta go and get my beauty sleep.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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goin_south says on Jan 18, 2007, 22:18:

good work, and I think there needs to be more studies done ""survey where they measured the hips from women all over colombia"""
I think a research assistant might be needed. Any applications?
And, maybe a body guard, as well (protection from mi fiance! jaja)

Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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goin_south says on Jan 18, 2007, 22:30:

How many times did it happen to ya? Too many to remember? ""I grew up in the sunny coast where the worst that could happen is a fokin coconut falling on your head and knocking your ass right out.""
lol.... Gimme medellin.
Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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goin_south says on Jan 18, 2007, 23:10:

I'm going to use that as an excuse for everything, from now on "Pretty sure...can't remember, but think I went to Colombia, and was sitting under Coconut Tree; Tengo mucho problemas por siempre despues."

Es el año, 2007: "El Año de Los Santos!"

Colombia es

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elmodefoque says on Jan 19, 2007, 05:05:

Them there girls (above) are your barranquillera hotties, but I still prefer the other Aguila girl dancing by herself on the previous page. The more I look at her, the more I like and I’m willing to go up to 2 K (USA) for just a weekend with her. She ‘s got the sexiest putona face but also shy at the same time. That smile those green eyes and the way she moves that incredible flat well tone stomach and how it goes from a tiny waist and spreads out to the most amazing curbs and hips.
To say I’m infatuated with that stunning broad is an understatement. I’ll give up my messed up nut, have it sliced off with a dulled knife and still give her 2 thousand USA, all she has to do is dance Vallenatos with me naked, both vertically and then horizontally

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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gringolondinense says on Jan 19, 2007, 06:59:

elmo! what happened to your teeth?

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gringolondinense says on Jan 19, 2007, 07:51:

hey Don what are the chances of a gringo like me scoring one of these Chicas Aguila? I can feel an emigration coming on ;-). Im 30 and have all my own teeth. What more could a Chica ask for?????

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elmodefoque says on Jan 19, 2007, 07:52:

Hey Colombiche, there’s nothing I like more than a green eyed Colombiana. I need to talk to you in private, please drop me a line at this e-mail address malpariohp at yahoo.com

Hey GB, about 5 years ago in curramaba, I got kicked in the teeth by a jealous burrita.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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gringolondinense says on Jan 19, 2007, 07:56:

Sorry elmo...but burritas are cool!! do people still ride around on those things? I havent seen poco posting any burrita pix, only of horses and little ponies.

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elmodefoque says on Jan 19, 2007, 11:39:

DG, this might be difficult to believe, but just like people, burritas get very possessive and jealous too.
It was a hot muggy Feb. 16, 2002 near Puerto Colombia, Barranquilla, when Maria Elena Jaramillo (my burrita) spotted me riding on the back of another burrita. I think she thought the event looked suspicius at first glance, although it was quite innocent and Maria Elena had come to the same conclusion, or so I thought.
That same evening I noticed that Maria Elena was a bit withdrawn and
kept her ears down and was not giving me the usual heavy eye contact.
I didn't think much of it and went indoors and got drunk.
It was close to midnight and under the rays of a bright full moon I saw she was still out tied down to the matarraton tree holding her head down.
After my second bottle of guaro I was in a romantic mood and walked over to seek the company of my dear Maria Elena.
As soon as I touched her side she began kicking and huffing like a raging bull. I tried everything possible to quiet her down and stop her from kicking. This went on for 15 minutes; waking up half of the village.
At one point during my drunken stupor, while trying to keep her from kicking I fell and landed behind her and that's when she got me smack in the mouth and most of my teeth went flying off into the dark.
There, that's how I lost most of my teeth.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 19, 2007, 12:21:

Mario, holy chit, WOW!! her hips, her waist , her ass, make for one of the most perfect bodies i've seen.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 19, 2007, 21:28:

Don Gringo, pimping it for the gringo sex tourists might not be a bad business proposition. Thanks to an improved safety situation, Colombia is becoming a more popular sex tourist destination. I think you'll see a lot more places like the Medellin Mansion and sex tours to Colombia.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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gringolondinense says on Jan 22, 2007, 02:58:

oh ok thanks Don! I think my references to my teeth and age were excess to requirements. I could have said "Im 98, lobster red with a huge beer belly and I look like that nutcase in the Goonies".

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big kugz says on Jan 22, 2007, 05:51:

The Curramberos that I've met for some reason seem to be WAY cooler than most other people from Colombia, or any other part of the world. There definitely IS something special about the costa caribe&a de Colombia. More easy going, more realistic yet magical at the same time. Many of the cachacas and paisas that I've met were too upity or greedy (not trying to generalize, just my experience). Maybe it's just the lasting effect of having watched Sin Tetas no Hay Paraiso too many times, but I believe that Quilleras are less likely to be obsessed with monetary prospects and more conserned with the increasing popularity of the wack ass wanna-be vallenato that they listen to in the interior and try to shove down the throats of coste&os via the cachaco owned stations than they are with finding a rich idiot to marry. Ivan Villazon said it best himself de parranda con el coronel Franco Arguelles... "tienen buen oferta, saben cocinar, no quieren montar a uno ahi... y esas son... las chicas de barranquilla!" Or maybe he was talkin about Valledupar, or la Guajira... or all of the above I can't recall. Whatever the case, viva la costa Colombiana, and remember, "Con coste&a vives mas"!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 22, 2007, 06:02:

well said big kugs que vivan las costeñas!! :P

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Jan 22, 2007, 06:04:

Anyday now my black, old, wrinkled ass will be on its way to Curramba/Barranquilla.
Reminder, if you wanna party like a true barranquillero, a few of us guys will be in “La Troja� Feb. 17 and 18 evening. All broads get free booze.
A especial invitation to BxUnika, Hey, you look just like my beautiful niece. Listen, If you like uptown Manhattan and boogie down Bronx then Barranquilla is the place for you. Just about every poor barranquillero looks and acts ( ugly, loud and obnoxious) like foking Dominicans from "La Capital" and the ones with a few bucks look just like fokin Puerto Ricans.
Bogotá is too Andean Injun for me, it’s got that that Quito, Cochabamba, Yurimagua, Sucre, ambiance, solemn, defeated, sad, joyless injuns abound

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jan 22, 2007, 08:49:

you right Rubito casablanca you're right Rubito casablanca in kennedy is full of Costeñitos :)

engage brain before opening mouth

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elmodefoque says on Jan 22, 2007, 08:50:

I don’t know Rubio, the idea of going to a “Latin� country and have to wear a fokin sweater and jacket gives me the creeps. The purpose is to get away from this freakin cold north east USA weather. Now if I lived in Miami, maybe Bogota might be my city of choice. Is like a guy from Seattle Washington going to London for a fokin vacation.
To me “Latin country ’ means, sweaty balls, bright sun beaming and beating your ass down, and lots of coconut trees.
My Bogotá relatives live up there in some fokin hill with the well off folks. Next town over, higher up the hill, is like estrado 9, where the gringos and crooked politicians live.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 22, 2007, 11:22:

rubio, my family in Bogota lives en la 145N Cedritos. do you guys know where that is?

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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goin_south says on Jan 22, 2007, 13:13:

Caramba! I know what I'm doing tonight Watchin the rest of that video. It's not For Elmo Only!
Muerte; Los santos son no más.

Colombia es

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Colombiano_81 says on Jan 22, 2007, 13:14:

i used to live in la 145N cedritos with carrera 16....i know the hill you're talking about Elmo..it's full of beautiful expensive apartments...i dont know whats behind that though...and i agree with you that Bogota is kinda lame for sabor latino...i would prefer barranquilla without having ever been there. I wish i had stayed in South Bogota Im sure that wouldve been much funner. Im sure the owmen wouldnt ahve benn as stuck up either.

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Colombiano_81 says on Jan 22, 2007, 13:27:

joder! que cosa mas rica......now thats what all models should look like....i hate them anorexic skinny assed ones you always see on tv....those europen ones..thsese colombianas are much better. I wish I was in Colombia..

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gringolondinense says on Jan 23, 2007, 03:57:

oh gawd esanch! That is right up my street. Toned but with proper legs and ass!!! Do those babes work out? they have great abs!!! yummy!

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utopiacowboy says on Jan 23, 2007, 06:24:

How do they say T&A in Colombia? T&C? T&T? Whatever it is that was some nice T&A in that video - plenty of cushion for the pushin'. My only beef with it is, what is with all the blondes? There were only a couple of brunettes and none with that long straight jet black hair that I'm nuts about. There was one with black hair at the end but she had it curled somehow. Not too shabby.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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elmodefoque says on Jan 23, 2007, 09:15:

Hey rubio. I was up there in el Cedrito and my female cousins wanted to take my black ass out to la Zona Rosa to show me off. As I stepped outta their building “holy crap, is fokin cold out here, take my black ass to the airport I’m taking the next flight to Barranquilla� I said. They convinced me to stay. The following morning I was on the first flight to quilla, the corroncho capital of the world, no sooner I reached the airport exit door my balls were already soaking wet in sweat. Now I’m in fokin Colombia!!!!

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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elmodefoque says on Jan 23, 2007, 12:32:

them there are some fine looking women, but i could never finish watching the entire thing, after the second girl i have to run to the mens room to release the pressure.

over 5 million colombianos in USA and only 27 barranquilleros, i'm one. CURRAMBA, EL MEJOR VIVIDERO DEL MUNDO!

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goin_south says on Jan 23, 2007, 23:48:

Looks like "T-N-T" to me, UTC... I don know about your meatball sandwich, but any two of those ladies could BOIL YOUR HAMBONE!
AY-YaY-Yikes!

Colombia es

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