My Friend's Colombian Wife Beat The Shit Out Of Him

Sylvie says on Jul 26, 2005, 11:14:

yikes!!! Some chicks just have nasty short tempers and they should be avoided regardless of their nationality.

ALthough it shocks me that guys don't see this in their women before they marry them! I'm still waiting for my sister in law to pull a Carla Harris and run over my borther with her mercedes. She has a MAJOR short temper and has punched him in the face for the dumbest reasons.

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Sylvie says on Jul 26, 2005, 11:21:

Well if a woman is touched purposely without giving permission then its kind of a reflex.

I was in Italy and the first time I got my butt pinched I turned around smile and kneed the guy straight in the balls.... I think he learned his lesson.

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Sylvie says on Jul 26, 2005, 11:50:

I just hope, for his sake, that she doesn't carry rocks or heavy jewellry in her purse.

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elmodefoque says on Jul 26, 2005, 12:01:

hey pollo man, that's some funny shit. anytime a broad beats a guy, i'm sorry but that's funny, now if they cut your thing off or run you over with a car, then is not too funny.

I'll get there, when I get there!

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bkelly says on Jul 27, 2005, 14:41:

She was probably Santandereana Those lovely women from Santander...they rival the paisas and calenas, but my god are they BRAVA.

--bkelly

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BAQ says on Jul 27, 2005, 15:26:

Sweet My COLOMBIAN wife is just as sweet as she can be UNTIL I cross that "thin blue line", then its "STAND BY FOR NEWS, FILM AT 11". Only took ONE time for me to figure out WHERE that line is, and I have to admit, you have to go PRETTY FAR to reach it. My COLOMBIAN wife is FAR MORE TOLERANT than ANY GRINGA I have ever met. Wouldn;t trade her for the world !!!!!!!!!!!

Semper Fidelis !

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BAQ says on Jul 27, 2005, 15:28:

FOR SALE New on the market, "KEVLAR JOHNSON PROTECTOR", Guaranteed to keep your package intact while you sleep. Extended protection available in Briefs. DAMN, WHAT A MARKETING IDEA!!!!

I'll make MILLIONS !!!!!!!!!!!

Semper Fidelis !

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Crazy4Cali says on Jul 27, 2005, 17:43:

Mi novia me dijo... tu no quieres conocerme enojada

and I agree completely!

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Colombiche says on Jul 27, 2005, 17:46:

Good for the Wife (the one that beat up your weenie friend).

You know you don't mess with a Colombiana. My boyfriend knows that. When I am pissed he just drives up in front of my apartment, throws 12 red roses on my balcony from the outside (I live on a 2nd floor) and drives away like Montoya. Pobrecito hombre.

NOw, the one that cut off her husband's Tomin, that is a completely different ball game (pardon the pun).

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 27, 2005, 19:17:

In two years my wife has never gotten upset with me even once. It depends on the Latina. As Socrates once advised, "By all means marry. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy. If you find a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Colombiche says on Jul 27, 2005, 19:20:

I always thought Socrates was gay... and he had a court of young boys at his service. Plus all the Greek Philosophers were big time mysoginists. Part of the reason they got intimate with boys was because they thought women were foul and inferior.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 27, 2005, 19:30:

Sure, Socrates was married. In fact, in one of Plato's Dialogues, she comes in and starts harassing him about being out all night and not helping around the house. The Greeks had some strange ideas about women but you gotta hand it to them, they discovered "El Chiquito"!

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Colombiche says on Jul 27, 2005, 19:33:

I think they discovered el chiquito Sleeping with chiquitos.

No me den trago extranjero, que es caro y no sabe a bueno.... (Rafael Godoy)

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 27, 2005, 19:38:

Yeah, ok, they were Greeks. They didn't get it all right but what do expect - they were ancients. We perfected "El Chiquito" here in the modern era.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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kat1 (Moderator) says on Jul 28, 2005, 04:39:

I am glad that i am a passive Colombiana. all those tempers days are gone. now I just relax and enjoy ;-). I hardly get in a bad mood now,i say what I have to say and that's it, trouble gone and forgoten. maybe I have my lovely mum's temper.

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lpdiver says on Jul 28, 2005, 11:03:

My Paisa loves... My "pene" and would never do anything to harm it.What are these guys doing to these women to piss them off so royally?

T

"cook some rice!"

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Crazy4Cali says on Jul 28, 2005, 13:13:

duhhhhh they were probably taking their "pene" out when they shouldn't....

Their girlfriends/wives probably think they are doing the other women a favor...

as in, "Hey if they want it so bad, let me just cut it off and send it to them."

Ohhhh.. that hurts just to think of it.

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 28, 2005, 15:05:

Dogs crack me up. I used to castrate male calves and the dogs used to love eating their balls fresh and hot.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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Sonny says on Jul 29, 2005, 06:19:

Getting beat up to This is a great thread. It has gone from getting beat up in the car to eating cow balls. Only here could that happen. It is to funny and has made the day of my interview start of with a good laugh. The thought of getting a foot cut off of me is scary. Of course it would be easier to carry around I guess :-)Thanks

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lpdiver says on Jul 29, 2005, 07:56:

Ummmm Sonny... Do COWS have balls?

Tony

"cook some rice!"

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cali373 says on Jul 29, 2005, 08:23:

"KEVLAR JOHNSON PROTECTOR" That shit was FUNNNNNY. LOL!!! My Co-workers thought I went crazy when I started rolling with laughter from my office.

Smile if you are a thinker!

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Sylvie says on Jul 29, 2005, 11:27:

lpdiver Cows don't have balls because cows are female. Bulls have balls. But UC said calves which can be a baby cow, bull, whale, or elephant.

UC I'm curious, why would one castrate a calf? Wouldn't that make them totally unvaluable?

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BAQ says on Jul 29, 2005, 12:58:

Super Glue Had a friend who's wife got pissed, she SUPER GLUED his Johnson to his stomach while he was sleeping. ANOTHER reason the purchase the new KEVLAR JOHNSON PROTECTOR !!!

Semper Fidelis !

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utopiacowboy says on Jul 29, 2005, 20:42:

Well said, Tinto. You really only need one bull for a herd of cows unless you've got a big herd in which case you might need several. If you've got a bunch of bulls running around, they'll just cause trouble fighting with each other or jumping the fences looking for cows that need some male attention. Steers, on the other hand, don't have any interests in life other than eating and sleeping.

Disclaimer: any comment I make is inane and is not to be taken seriously, and is so patently ridiculous that no one should take it seriously, even as an insult.

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lpdiver says on Jul 30, 2005, 05:09:

Sylvie I know that cows don't have balls and what UC actually said was male calves. It was a faceitous question, something that often gets lost in the unidimension quality of the internet. Maybe I should have put a winkie after it to add a little depth to the jab.

Tony

"cook some rice!"

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tomtom33 says on Jul 30, 2005, 05:50:

UC I hear they have nervous sheep in Montana.

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lpdiver says on Jul 30, 2005, 10:40:

I see what... you mean. Especially followed by the words... a little DEPTH to the JAB. Oh well, I'm the the gringo...gotta love me!!!


Tony

"cook some rice!"

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Sonny says on Jul 30, 2005, 10:48:

Mario It might have been a lot better had he kept his winnie in the proper bun. That way he would not have woken up feeling short changed with the dog eating leftovers.

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Sylvie says on Jul 30, 2005, 13:51:

I don't like the fact that people excuse the mutilation of genitals just for the reason that the guy cheated.

Yes it's wrong to cheat but mutilating someone for it is just wrong and morbid.....ick :-S

Yes, you're pissed and what not but do something less morbid like burn his clothing or take his credit cards and go to Chanel and Hermes and buy all those hangbags, shoes and hats you've been looking at but couldn't afford.... :-P

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morphus says on Jul 30, 2005, 14:53:

right on leave the genitals alone!

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