My bar in barranquilla

elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 05:35:

whatta you think?

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 05:38:

My bar's theme song

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:12:

It might work. The mongers need a place to meet up and exchange stories. A lot of the bars in Colombia have rooms right in the back. Thats freedom Colombian style.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:12:

gib, gringo theme also plays well here BUT mostly among rich barranquilleros only. between visiting gringos and local visitors from north curramba it should do quite well.
Late at night when just about everyone is drunk i'll have them dancing merengue, salsa, Vallenatos and finally cumbias.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:15:

An open buffet and free drinks for women under 25 and the place will be pumping.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:17:

hey 'THE MONGERS" sounds like a good name for my bar too.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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Lauthra says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:21:

I'd go to you bar elmo! I have always regreted now being born in the 60's I would've been the craziest most acid poppin beatch for sure! What I'd give to have lived the summer of '69 and woodstock... I also adore the music from back then, retire before the reaper gets to ya and before I'm over 25 and can't be part of the free drinks :P

Nato (='.'=)

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Waterdawg says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:26:

Bar Biz. can be a tough one ( Had two before I ran away from home ) .. The right atmosphere .. music for the time of day and client's .. Anything Free ( in Latin America will blow them away ) .. the right people working the front of the house .. define your market ( as best you can ) .. Keep it manageable and watch that " Cash Flow " both in and out ! ..

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:27:

Ok, free drinks for women under 34.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:29:

let's make it , free drinks for all broads under 35!
lauthra not only gets free drinks but the cash register too.

morph lets meet this weekend, man you've got some great ideas.
buffet sounds excellent, free hot chicken wings and chit.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:32:

Yeah, even if you break even and get free chucha, it will be fun.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:36:

morph, we think just alike, you sure we're not twins???
the main purpose is to have a great time and free CHUCHA

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:47:

Evil twin....ha ha

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Lauthra says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:49:

Why would you want to give food to the broads you're trying to get drunk? That will only make things harder! I say free drinks and no food in sight!

Nato (='.'=)

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 06:51:

Oh yeah, we don't want them to get fat. Every fat chick within 500 miles might show up...LOL

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 07:02:

man, lauthra is good!
who knows more about how the mind of a hot chick works than another hot chick?
thanks lauthra !!!! fok the food, broads get all the free booze they want, ONLY
Just imagine all these healthy aging gringos with money and a young heart not getting any loving in USA , now they have a place to enjoy the rewards of all their hard work.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 07:22:

La Dolce Vita started out small. I remember when it you used to be 50 girls and only 5 mongers. Now its like 200 girls and a 100 mongers.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 07:43:

morph, that's exactly what we need in curramba.
Cartagena has "la dolce vita" and "tu candela"
In "tu candela" I almost had pre-pagos get into a fight over me, imgine that chit.
They did not want the black shirt, exposed hairy chest, cheap chain wearing italian tourist, they wanted my vallenato dancing paraco looking colombian ass.
the latest from curramba is that "maria mulata' down in murillo has become a pre pago paradise, but if i put this bar together i will have the gringos and soon all the pre pagos will be knocking the door down to get in

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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Timba says on Dec 5, 2007, 08:06:

The best idea I saw in NYC.

A guy opening a bar had a contest to open his bar with a prize of $10,000. It generated so much interest and free publicity for him.

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 08:40:

I hate electronic clubs. La Dolce Vita is the best overall club in Cartagena. Giro Mato is second.

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Timba says on Dec 5, 2007, 09:04:

Sorry, a contest to name his bar with a prize of $10,000

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:08:

Elmo, I was wondering how long it would take you to hit on the curramba bar idea. I can't think of a more natural business for you to be in....or a better place for gringos to hang in, when we're on the coast.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:25:

the safest city in colombia, one hour away from cartagena and santa marta, perfect location.
who knows more about the age of sex, drugs and rock and roll than me?
chit maybe i'll take another hit of acid, can't do any more damage, imposible poneme mas loco de le que estoy

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:27:

what better place to have such a bar than in the safest city in colombia, just one hour away from cartagena and santa marta.
chit, maybe i'll take another hit of acid, can't do any more damage, imposible poneme mas loco de lo que estoy

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:30:

plus, I bet the owner of the bar finally gets himself some free chucha! jajajajajjajajaja

"Elmo's Bar and Chucharia". has a certain ring to it....

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:32:

that's what it all boils down to. FREE CHUCHA FOR THE OWNER. JIJIJJJJIJ
EL PATRON , EL JEFE

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:33:

EL DUEÑO DE ESTA MONDA!

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:35:

beats cleaning toilets. ;)

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:37:

Aldo at LDV gets lots of hot chicks and he's real ugly mofo.

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Albatross says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:39:

"Don't Fear the Reaper" is great, but "Godzilla" is my favorite B.O.C. tune.... totally awesome bass.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:41:

ELMO'S BAR AND CHUCHARIA !!! JAJAJAJAJAJIJIIJIJJJJJIJIJI

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:44:

albatross, but do they have the cow bell?

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:47:

hell, if Bolivia wasn't so far away, and expensive to fly in/out of, I'd even consider subscribing to a stock issue....I know a winning idea when I see one, I think.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:49:

do you guys know where i could find Saturday Night Live, Will Farrell doing "don't fear the reaper"? MORE COWBELL

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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Albatross says on Dec 5, 2007, 10:58:

Elmo, I had no idea what the fok you were talking about until I found this in Wikipedia:

..."The song (Don't fear the Reaper) was the focus of a 2000 Saturday Night Live sketch in which guest host Christopher Walken played "famed producer Bruce Dickinson", who repeatedly demands "more cowbell!" during the recording of the song. The sketch also includes a completely fictional member of the band, "Gene Frenkle" (played by Will Ferrell), whose sole function is playing the cowbell."...

I'd like to see it myself... it sounds hilarious.

“Democracy - a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H.L. Mencken

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billyb says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:01:

I remember it, it was hilarious.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:02:

YOU GOTTTAAA SEE IT!!!!!!!

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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morphus says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:08:

This it?

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:10:

NOPE!!!! THAT'S NOT IT!!!
NOT SAME SONG
CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE!!!!

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:19:

Shitty copy, but gives you the idea....

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:20:

Christopher Walken cracks me up, even when he's playing serious characters.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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El Polo says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:27:

I almost spit out my soup. LMAO

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peteyw says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:32:

Elmo,

For years now you have been my idol on PBH, but I have to tell you...this idea is not in your best interest as I see it.

As much as I can image your owning your own bar in South Curramba, it goes against both key issues you've been talking about for months now ie...

1) Free CHUCHA
2) Avoiding your money needy relatives when you move back.

First, how can your CHUCHA be free if you have to:
Pay for the Bar, Pay for the Furnishings, pay for the Booze; Pay for the 'Protection'; Pay for the Utilities; Pay the Salaries for your employees (you'll need at least 3 in a small bar); Pay the Pension and Health Care for your Employees; and on and on.

AND, if you give the broads free booze... you'll have TWENTY pre-pagos, hookers and free-loading girls for every ONE monger or Gringo-obsessed Colombian who is actually paying for anything. Let me tell you; I know tons of girls who can drink like sailors on shore leave and get barely tipsy.

Yeah, you'll get CHUCHA...but that's not what I call 'free'.

Second, how can you avoid your relatives hitting you up for money if their sitting in your bar, drinking your booze while waiting for you go in the register to pay for sobrino's school and tia's hospital bill?
They'll not only know where to find you, but you can't tell 'em you have no money when they see it right there with their own eyes.

Now, as much as I can understand wanting to hang with older gringos and reminisce about the 'glory days'. That's gonna get old quick if you're bleeding cash.

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billyb says on Dec 5, 2007, 11:37:

Elmo, peteyw makes some good points. Maybe you can be a silent partner like Tony Soprano and the Bada Bing, all the benefits of ownership (if you know what I mean) and none of the headaches.

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elmodefoque says on Dec 5, 2007, 12:02:

chit maybe i'll put everything under my wify's name.
They know she's one tough money loving cachaca but extremely honest. MY relatives wont dare gotto her bar looking for free booze.
Remember, i'm talking in south curramba, that chit is gonna be a real dive just like NYC bars back in the 60's and 70's. health insurance?? hell no!!!
so not to have free loading relatives crashing in my fancy barranquilla pad, i convinced my wify into going halfies with me on the 60k US apt. to be put only under her name.
After i croak is all hers, my kids are never going to colombia.
My wify is the most honest colombian broad i've ever met.
She's just like all my ex gringa grilfriends.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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slguy says on Dec 5, 2007, 12:28:

easy enough problem to solve, Elmo.

"see all these hookers in here? Who do you think pays for their drinks? I do! Have any idea what it costs to keep these thirsty broads in booze? I'm going broke, fast! And sorry, but these girls all give me chucha whenever I want- so they come first!'


jajajajajjajjajaja

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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podborski says on Dec 5, 2007, 16:53:

La Chucharia has a ring to it, I have to admit...Elmo's La Chucharia...La Chucha Vida...In A Chucha da Vida...

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webmanco says on Dec 5, 2007, 17:01:

Elmo`s bar's theme song


"QUE CHIMBITA ES ESTA VIDA"

...A yo, déjenme queto y no me jodan má! ...

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lampltr says on Dec 6, 2007, 13:36:

You are on the right track Elmo...with you being from NYC and a new bar scene with an American flare, may be pretty popular with all...

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goin_south says on Dec 7, 2007, 22:55:

whatta you think?

...I think ... I'm in. But, I'm laughing pretty hard... maybe you can call it 'THE WEEPER'

Where do we go from here?

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goin_south says on Dec 7, 2007, 23:08:

"..Ok, free drinks for women under 34..."???

How are you gonna know their age?
Like, they can't get fake ID in Colombia?
How 'bout jus takin a vote, as they come in the door?
All guys vote...
If she 'appears' under 30, then she's in,... for the free drinks.

Well, anyway.... you could stretch it, and let all the pbh girlz in....

In A Chucha da Vida... IT'S A NEW SONG! funny, I-podski

Where do we go from here?

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elmodefoque says on Dec 12, 2007, 05:38:

Just got an email from good buddy in Medellin. He used to work with me here in NYC but 9 months ago decided to move back to Colombia. Since he hears me say this sentence over and over, he suggested I name my bar in Barranquilla “Pa’ el Carajo�
Sounds good to me and the theme song will be the one webmanco posted above

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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elmodefoque says on Dec 12, 2007, 05:51:

In a chucha da vida jijijjijijijij
you gotta be too young to remember that.
First time i heard that long ass song by ironbutterfly was also the first time i smoked hash straight from afganistan somewhere out there in the fokin middle east .
I was sitting around with Richi Havens an up and coming NYC singer/song writer
When i sit around with those old third world modefoques in Curramba they're not gonna have any idea what the fok i'm talking about.

ASK NOT WHAT THE PUSSY CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!! CAT LOVER

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slguy says on Dec 12, 2007, 09:47:

elmo, if you don't open this bar in curramba, you ain't got a hair on your.....ooops. never mind.

Before you throw me out, make sure I pay my bar tab

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Mr. Hollywood says on Dec 12, 2007, 15:04:

I vote for calling it

"Safe Sex"

They love those English names in Colombia

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